


let your heart hold fast (for this soon shall pass)

by dreabean



Series: if I'm still alive (what shouldn't I do?) [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Anal Sex, Child Abuse, Cian Hux, Darth Tantrum and his Evil Space Ginger, Destruction, Established Relationship, Fingering, Force Ghosts, Found Families, Hux is not named Armitage, Kissing, M/M, Magic Ruins Everything, Miscommunication, Multi, Murder, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Possession, Psychological Torture, Sorry Not Sorry, Teasing, That's Not How The Force Works, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Torture, WIP, hold on to your butts, no that's a lie, sorry but I completed the first fic before the name drop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 08:43:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 80,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7838128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreabean/pseuds/dreabean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Do you miss it?” Ren asked, standing behind him with his arms loose about Hux’s waist. Hux made an inquiring noise without opening his eyes, leaning back against Ren’s bulk. “When this ship just had us and the droids,” Ren clarified.</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>Hux laughed quietly, tilting his head back to look at Ren’s profile. “Regretting your magnanimous offer to be the flagship of this particular colonization effort?” he asked, drolly.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>Ren shook his head. “Sorry, at what point did I offer my ship or anything?” he asked, sounding a tinge incredulous. “I didn’t offer kriff and you know it.”</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [I_am_here_to_watch_you_suffer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_here_to_watch_you_suffer/gifts).



> GUYS IT'S HERE.
> 
> This is for Lex, Sasha, Song, Seraph, and everyone else who encouraged me and reviewed the first time. I know we all loved the posting every day thing I managed for the first fic but work is kicking my butt. So, I will post every Monday, until I've completed the fic. If, for some reason, I do not post on a Monday, please see my [tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/) for an excuse/reason. 
> 
> This fic, like it's lengthy predecessor, will run the gambit from amusingly lighthearted to horribly angsty. I know you all have seen the Major Character Death tag. And I know you're all thinking "she fooled us once before" but I'm going to level with you, darlings. There are two actual, no take-backs Character Deaths in this fic. If you really cannot handle that sort of thing, please do not hesitate to reach out to me and we can discuss how to keep from upsetting you. 
> 
> As always, all chapters with a particularly smutty, torturous or otherwise x-rated content scene will be prefaced in the notes. 
> 
> And, because it's me, there is Mando'a in this chapter!
> 
> Su cuy'gar - Hello (lit. You're still alive!)  
> Al'verde - Commander  
> ner'burc'ya - my friend  
> ori'tracyn - explosion  
> keenir - infiltrators  
> elek - yes (informal is 'lek')
> 
> The title is from Fort Atlantic "Let Your Heart Hold Fast".
> 
> And now, the moment you all have been waiting for: Boom.

I.

 

“Do you miss it?” Ren asked, standing behind him with his arms loose about Hux’s waist. Hux made an inquiring noise without opening his eyes, leaning back against Ren’s bulk. “When this ship just had us and the droids,” Ren clarified.

 

Hux laughed quietly, tilting his head back to look at Ren’s profile. “Regretting your magnanimous offer to be the flagship of this particular colonization effort?” he asked, drolly. 

 

Ren shook his head. “Sorry, at what point did I offer my ship or anything?” he asked, sounding a tinge incredulous. “I didn’t offer kriff and you know it.”

 

Grinning to himself, Hux patted his arm. “Oh right, you gave your ship to  _ me  _ and  _ I  _ decided we should take it.” Unwrapping his arms from around Hux, Ren walked towards the caf he’d left on the counter. Listening to the heaviness of his footsteps, Hux turned to watch him go. “Are you sulking?” he asked, delighted.

 

“ _ No _ ,” Ren said in a decidedly sulky tone. 

 

Hux hid his delighted smile behind his hand as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Things aren’t so bad, are they?” he asked, curiously. “Blue and Tempest follow orders well enough, and Rey is a perfectly sound co-pilot.”

 

Ren shot him a baleful look. “ _ They’re  _ fine,” he insisted. “It’s Finn and Dameron who are driving me crazy.”

 

That wasn’t actually the expected response, and Hux raised an eyebrow. “They seem perfectly decorous,” he said. “Dameron especially so, considering your past history with him.”

 

Pulling a face, Ren shook his head. “No, that isn’t - you really haven’t… Ugh!” He threw his hands up and immediately went for more caf. “You’re not Force Sensitive,” he complained. “You don’t get an opinion.”

 

Hux arched an eyebrow, gesturing expansively with his cup. “No,” he drawled slowly, “but I do frequently share headspace with you, Rey, Finn and very occasionally, your Uncle. It’s not exactly quiet.”

 

“ _ You _ ,” Ren said venomously, “don’t catch their every waking thought. About each other.” He cut himself off, staring in surly silence at his half filled mug, as Hux connected the dots. 

 

Frowning, Hux put his caf down. “Thank you, darling, I really could have done without that mental image to go with my morning wake up.”

 

Ren shot him a smug smile. “If I have to suffer, you have to suffer.” His smile widened into a grin. “And speaking of.”

 

Hux neatly sidestepped when Rey blearily entered the kitchen, rubbing both her eyes with her fists. With gentle hands, he lead her to a chair, placing a waiting mug of caf in front of her. “Good morning, darling,” he said, pressing a kiss to her messy hair and she mumbled back, leaning into him with the side of her head. 

 

When Hux looked up again, Ren was pouting, though there was amusement in his eyes. “How come I didn’t get a wake up like that,” he wondered. 

 

“You got your own wake up,” Hux responded lightly. Rey wrinkled her nose and mumbled something into her caf. Hux ran a hand over her hair again before heading out to the cockpit with yet another mug of caf, handing it off to Poe as soon as he entered the area. “Here,” he said. 

 

Dameron turned around, taking the cup eagerly. “Thanks, Cian,” he said brightly, despite the fact that he’d been on night cycle duty. “Is everyone else awake?” he asked, looking back towards his consoles. “We’re coming up on Oreen in a few hours.”

 

“Finn, Blue, and Tempest are all still asleep,” Hux reported. “Don’t worry, I have someone on it.”

 

Poe raised an eyebrow, looking amused. “That’s just mean.”

 

Smugly, Hux bowed a little, short at the waist with a flourish. “I have never once claimed to be anything otherwise,” he said. “Do let me know when we’re in approach for O’reen, please.”

 

Tossing off a lopsided and sloppy salute, Poe turned back to the transparisteel windows. Hux made his way back towards the main communications room, absently patting LT-55 on the head as he rolled past, and sat down at the chair - pilfered from the kitchen - to start going through messages. 

 

There were several from their various allies: Ganna wrote like clockwork every several D’Qar days, while Kiel’s messages were usually more sporadic. Basten Fett occasionally sent packets of information on the First Order contingent on Ord Mantell, which was what Hux was looking at when Tempest and Blue shuffled into the room, a victorious SR-3 perched in the wild tangle of Blue’s hair. 

 

As they wandered by, eyes half open and barely paying him any attention, Hux reached out and snagged SR, stroking his hand over Blue’s hair as he did so. She managed a half smile, reaching out but missing him completely and nearly walking into the wall in the process.

 

“You know, Commander,” Finn said from the doorway, sounding amused, “it’s not very nice to tease the people who don’t function like people before caf.”

 

Hux sniffed, placing SR-3 on his shoulder. “Caf is an addiction,” he said, nose in the air. “They shouldn’t rely on it to wake them up. We may one day be in a situation where they can’t access it.” 

 

“That’s the Order talking,” Finn said gently. 

 

A little helpless, Hux just shrugged, trying not to jostle SR. “It’s all I’ve ever known,” he said. “Habits are hard to break.”

 

Finn joined him at the holoterminal, sitting on the edge. “Caf was one of the first things Poe made me try once the battles were over. I hadn’t… had a lot of time between escaping the Finalizer and then going back to blow Starkiller up, I don’t even remember sleeping. But once things had… settled, Poe gave me a cup of caf.” Hux raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair to look up at Finn’s rueful expression. “I almost spit it out, I hated it. He was  _ horrified _ .”

 

_ [Caf is very bitter, Friend-Finn,]  _ SR-3 said loyally.  _ [I do not think I would enjoy it either.] _

 

“I asked him why he thought I was missing it, because eurgh, no thanks,” Finn said, laughing quietly. “I also noticed, Commander,” Finn said with a cheeky smile, “That you sent SR-3 to wake up Tempest, Blue and I… but not Captain Phasma.”

 

Hux snorted, glancing down the hall. “That,” he said in a conspiratorial whisper, “is because I value my life.”

 

Finn was interrupted from saying more when the holoterminal lit up with an incoming communication.  _ [Message from Akielo Ordo,]  _ SR-3 said promptly as Finn scrambled to get out of the way. 

 

Leaning over to press the button on the console, Hux tilted his head towards Finn. “Get Ren for me would you?” he asked. “Pour another few cups of caf down his throat first though.” He turned back to the ‘terminal as Kiel appeared before him. “Su cuy’gar,” Hux said.

 

“Ah, Al’verde Cian!” Kiel greeted, but there was none of his usual exuberance. “I’ve just received a transmission from Basten,” he said, looking down at a datapad in his hands. A quick check showed a similar data packet on Hux’s own server so he nodded in agreement. “It… details some troubling things, ner’burc’ya,” Kiel said. 

 

Hux sighed, prodding SR-3 gently in the side. “Put the data packet on my ‘pad, please,” he instructed gently and she beeped in affirmation. “Well,” Hux said to Kiel. “We knew what we were getting into when we started this. What have you learned?” he asked, as he pulled up the information himself.

 

“The First Order has pulled out nearly entirely,” Kiel said, reading off, quick and flat. “There was some kind of commotion, an ori’tracyn, at one of their facilities.” 

 

Making a face at the word, Hux prodded Ren’s mind with his own for a translation. “An explosion?” Ren asked incredulously as he strode into the room. “Someone attacked the First Order?”

 

“So it seems,” Kiel said, tapping his datapad. “From the inside, since Basten hasn’t seen any keenir, not coming or going.”

 

Hux glanced down at the information before him, looking over the numbers he’d remembered from old reports when he still had command of the Finalizer. “Could…” he started slowly, thinking it over, “This is something of a long shot, mind,” he added when both Ren and Kiel focused on him, “But could the attack come from Stormtroopers who wished to defect?” 

 

Ren made an intrigued noise, coming up behind Hux and looking down at his datapad over the shoulder not occupied by SR-3. “That’s a good question,” Ren murmured. “Your Stormtrooper Reclamation Program has gained quite a bit of traction, so why wouldn’t other ‘Troopers want to join?” 

 

“Kiel,” Hux instructed, softening his tone to keep the bite of an order out of it, “would you pass the message on to any of the Mandalorian sects to shelter an ex-Stormtrooper who is trying to escape the Order? Especially the ones on Ord Mantell and the surrounding planets? Without Revan, their options for reconditioning are… well there isn’t one. A ‘trooper who defects or wishes to defect will face the judgement of death, if caught.”

 

Nodding once, Kiel saluted. “Elek, al’verde,” he agreed and signed off. 

 

“The peace was nice while it lasted,” Ren said, pressing a kiss to Hux’s temple. 

 

Hux turned his head to give Ren a proper kiss, if a short one. “Peace?” he wondered, raising an eyebrow in amusement. “The last year has been anything but peaceful.”

 

Ren grinned at him. “At least it wasn’t boring!”

 

Rolling his eyes, Hux huffed a put upon sigh. “I don’t believe that makes up for any of the bantha fodder you put me through.” When Ren looked wounded, Hux prodded him in the chest. “Nar Shaddaa. Lucius Ren. No arguments.”

 

Poe took that moment to hit the intercom system with a squeal of static and feedback. “Hey Commander,” he drawled, “we have a lot of ship traffic coming up as we get closer to O’reen. You and Ren might want to get up here.”

 

*

 

_ “This is Commander Ellanis Kargen,”  _ the Comm unit buzzed, far too much static on the tail end of the sentence. “ _ State your name, ship and business with O’reen.” _

 

Hux smiled to himself, pressing the comm button lightly. “Lani,” he said warmly. “This is Cian Hux.”

 

‘Lani?’ Ren mouthed to him but Hux waved him off.  _ “Hux?”  _ the comm officer said incredulously.  _ “The First Order assured us of your death.” _

 

Rolling his eyes, Hux pressed the button again. “I’m afraid the story of my demise is simply that: a story. I’m very much alive, Lani. I’m commanding the ship Untouchable, flagship of the New Republic.”

 

There was a pause, then the officer said, with palpable hesitation, “... The New Republic?”

 

“Mm,” Hux agreed. “When your former employers attempt to murder you, one goes to the enemy of his enemy. I believe one of your Magnus’ said that.”

 

Ren was gazing at him with something approaching incredulous shock but Hux ignored him. “ _ Edge,”  _ Lani swore with half a laugh. “ _ Magnus Paranis is going to eat poodoo once you land. Come on down, Ci. See you shortly.” _

 

“Ci?” Poe, Ren and Rey all chorused in various tones of shock. 

 

He gave them an annoyed look. “If you three are going to follow me about like lost kittens repeating everything you hear I’m going to leave you on the ship.”

 

Rey, still looking sleepy with a cup of caf clutched in her hands, gave him a wide eyed stare. “Can  _ I  _ call you Ci?” she asked.

 

Ren joined her, turning the full force of his eyes on Hux. “You never told me your nickname was Ci,” he said.

 

Hux rolled his eyes again, a record for the morning. “It isn’t. But the O’reenian people consider shorted names a form of respect and honor.”

 

“That must kill you,” Poe commented, shooting a grin over his shoulder. 

 

Making a disgusted noise, Hux shoved at the back of Poe’s head. “Just land us, please,” he said. “And no, you two. You can call me Hux or Cian, but not Ci. Thank you.” 

 

Rey frowned at him, matching Ren pout for pout. “But we’re family, Cian,” she protested.

 

“You two are ridiculous,” he sighed, leaning his forearms on the back of Poe’s chair. “May we be serious for a moment?” Hux asked, turning his head to catch Ren’s eyes. “I know it’s difficult for you.”

 

“Pfassker,” Ren retorted fondly. “You have our attention.”

 

Hux stood up straight, turning away from the transparisteel windows to look over Rey and Ren. “Truthfully, I don’t know what sort of situation we’re going to be walking into here,” he said. “I doubt Lani himself has any plans to turn us over to the Order, but O’reen is primarily a stratocracy so they value the things the Order once stood for.” Hux ran a hand through his hair, another futile attempt to keep it out of his eyes. “However, I’m uncertain about the Magnus’ contingent. They’re the highest ranked personnel, and many of them are…” He trailed off. “More like I once was,” he settled on after a second.

 

“How much trouble are we expecting?” Poe asked. 

 

Shrugging one shoulder, Hux shook his head. “I’m always expecting trouble, Dameron.” He glanced out over Ren’s shoulder, catching sight of the others in the holocommand center. “I’ll take a small team with me wherever we go. I know Lani’s people are trustworthy however, a few of us will stay to guard the ship.”

 

Poe nodded. “We’re breaking atmo in five,” he announced.

 

Hux shooed Ren and Rey away. “Time to go,” he said firmly. “Let’s take our places, shall we?”

 

Ren gave him a quick kiss as he went by, while Rey rescued SR-3 from his shoulder, letting her swing up into a vent. “HK!” Ren hollered and there was a long moment of static and swears.

 

“Tempest, Phasma, Finn,” Hux rattled off. “I need you two to guard the ship. Blue, Rey, Ren, you’re with me.”

 

HK clomped into the room, taking up his customary position by Ren’s left shoulder. “Meatbag,” he drawled, long suffering, “You will not be leaving me behind this time.”

 

“I’ve given up on trying to keep you on the ship,” Hux said, amused.  “Dameron, take us in, then I need you to do some reconnaissance for me. You’re personable and charming enough that people will be willing to talk to you.” 

 

Finn frowned, but didn’t respond and Hux made a mental note to check in with him before anything happened. “Anything else, Commander?” Blue asked, leaning against Rey’s side. 

 

“Suit up, arm yourselves,” he instructed. “Finn, with me, please.” When Finn fell into step with him as they went to the armory, Hux waited patiently for the other man to speak.

 

“I want to go with Poe,” Finn said all in a rush. 

 

Hux regarded him silently, spending the time it took to kit himself out with weapons before answering. “That’s a fair request,” he allowed, thinking it over. “Is this pushback because you don’t want to be stuck guarding the ship?”

 

Finn shook his head rapidly. “No, Commander, not at all!”

 

“Then you’re concerned about Dameron being on his own,” Hux guessed and Finn grimaced. “Ah. Very well. Tempest and Phasma can guard the ship well enough on their own. You may wish to wear something less… obvious. Some of the stormtroopers you may encounter may be ones who recognize you.”

 

“I’d rather they recognize me than recognize Poe,” Finn said ruefully. 

 

Hux shook his head before clapping Finn on the shoulder. “Go on then. Get your kit. Keep in radio contact and if Dameron complains, send him my way.” 

 

After Finn disappeared into the room he shared with Poe, Hux rolled his shoulders, cracked his neck and prepared to walk into the breach. Ren joined him, standing shoulder to shoulder with him. “Ready?” Ren asked.

 

He smirked, shooting Ren an amused glance. “More than you,” he drawled.

 

Ren shoved him. 

 

*

 

Lani’s familiar figure greeted them when they exited the building. Like all O’reen’s he was small of stature, with brownish orange skin and wide black eyes. He was smiling widely, and visibly armed to the teeth.  _ Well, _ Ren’s voice skated through his mind,  _ at least he’s alone. _

 

Hux’s grin widened.  _ You so certain about that, darling?  _ He flicked his eyes up to the darkened corners of the room where the glint of sniper rifles had caught his attention. 

 

“Cian Hux!” Lani called, striding towards them and meeting them halfway with a strong warriors grip to his arm. 

 

“Ellanis Kargen,” Hux replied in the same tone. “Glad to see you’re well.” 

 

Lani laughed, running a free hand through his close cropped hair. “As I am glad to see you alive! Your 2IC, the one you left in charge here? He leaves much to be desired.” 

 

Hux had to think about it for have a second before he placed the face. “Ronis Olier?” he asked incredulously. “He had such potential. Tsk.” Glancing over his shoulder, Hux turned to include Ren and the others. “No matter, Lani. Olier is my past transgression. This is Captain Ren, my partner. My sister, Rey - our pilot, and Blue, our slicer.” HK rumbled an invective from behind Ren and Hux rolled his eyes. “And HK-51, our protocol droid who’s never had a memory wipe in his life, forgive him.”

 

“You wouldn’t dare, meatbag,” HK growled.

 

Lani snickered, touching his ear. “All’s well, stand down.”

 

Ren turned to grin at HK. “I wouldn’t let him, don’t worry so.”

 

Six other O’reenians filtered out of the shadows - two more than Hux had noticed - and bowed at the waist to Lani. “Ronis Olier is demanding your presence, Commander,” one of them told Lani. Pulling a face, Lani sighed, and rubbed two fingers against his forehead.

 

“If I have to go deal with Olier’s idiocy, so do you,” he warned Hux. “Then we can speak of why you’ve returned.”

 

Smiling thinly, Hux inclined his head. “Of course. I guarantee it’s not to rejoin Olier and his toadies.”

 

“Good to hear,” Lani said, audibly relieved. “Magnus Paranis will be pleased as well.”

 

As they followed Lani and his entourage out of the docking bay and into an airlock, Hux frowned to himself. The orders he’d left behind for Olier shouldn’t have caused the tension even Hux could feel in the air. Whatever Olier was doing, it was either against Hux’s set orders or something new had trickled down the line. 

 

_ You seem to be thinking deep thoughts,  _ Ren said to him, fingers brushing the back of his hand.  _ What’s wrong? _

 

Hux shook his head.  _ I’m not certain, _ he replied.  _ But something is definitely wrong. I remember Olier rather well, he was an unassuming man, easily ordered and affable in his own way. Whatever he’s done to annoy Lani and the other O’reenians, he’s clearly since stopped following the orders I’d left for him. _

 

Rey elbowed them both, yanking on Ren’s sleeve to keep him from clipping the wall.  _ Secrets don’t make friends! _ She threw at them and Hux refocused on the walk down the hall.

 

The room they were lead to was not the conference room Hux was expecting, instead it was a surprisingly opulent chamber, clearly meant for an audience of some sort. Raising an eyebrow, Hux caught Lani’s gaze. “Is this Magnus Paranis’ new holding chamber?” he wondered.

 

“No,” Lani said, hot with irritation. “It’s Olier’s.”   
  


“What.” Hux startled in surprise, turned towards the gilded doorway just as Olier swept through. 

 

It had been some time since Hux had seen him, he no longer wore the traditional garb of the O’reenians, instead he wore a General’s mein, similar to the one Hux had once wore. He carried a large plasma rifle on his back, and two vibroblades were visible at his hips. 

 

“Ah,” Olier said, with drawling sarcasm that had never once been present in his voice within Hux’s hearing, “Lani. Took your time, did you?”

 

Lani shifted, and around him so did the other soldiers. Hidden behind Ren’s bulk, Hux was able to look upon Olier without gaining his attention. Other than his voice, and his build, there was virtually nothing similar about the man from what Hux remembered. Dragging his eyes from Olier’s feet to his eyes, Hux froze.

 

_ Ren _ , he prodded urgently.  _ Ren, listen to me.  _ Ren twitched at the sudden intrusion into his head and Hux got the impression of open confusion.  _ Ronis Olier’s eyes,  _ Hux threw out, catching Rey’s attention as well.  _ Olier’s eyes were blue. Look at his eyes.  _

 

Olier stared directly at him, eyes a perfect inky black, spread from lid to lid. 

  
*


	2. ii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"She is. I'm using the Force."_
> 
> _"What, seriously?" Hux scowled, leaning on the edge of the desk. "Magic ruins everything."_
> 
> _Ren spun back around, face livid. "-- Hang on a second Jag -_ It's not magic, kriff it _\- Sorry, Jago, what's your situation."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Lex, Song, Sasha, Sera, and everyone else who waited so patiently. 
> 
> Beta'd/looked over by Song because he's the best.
> 
> As ever, I'm at [tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/) for all your Kylux needs (as well as a healthy smattering of BioWare shenanigans, stormpilot and literally anything else nerdy. 
> 
> No Mando'a this chapter, but rest assured, it will be back soon.

Ii.

 

When they’d started out on the journey, things had been… awkward.  Ren had tiptoed around everyone, not Hux exactly, but Rey and the others.  He was quiet, seemingly content to let Hux take both command and captainship. 

 

Now though, standing in a room full of unknown allies and an enemy, Ren glowed. He sidled up to stand beside Hux, shunting Blue behind him. Olier visibly balked, black ink eyes widening. 

 

Lani glanced between them. “Lord Olier,” he said, his words respectful but his tone was hooked with snide sarcasm. 

 

“Ronis,” Hux drawled, affecting Lani’s arch tone. “Good to see you.” 

 

For his part, Olier - despite his unnerving and inexplicable eyes - looked distinctly nervous at their arrival. “General,” he said, a note of hesitance in his voice.

 

Brushing away an imaginary bit of dirt from his jacket, Hux smirked. “It’s Commander now, actually,” he corrected. “And what’s the phrase I’m searching for, Ren?”

 

Ren grinned, a nexu’s expression. “I believe it’s ‘you’re under arrest’, Commander.”

 

Olier took a step back. “That’s not possible,” he hissed, black eyes narrowing. 

 

Hux shrugged one shoulder, gesturing expansively. “The war is over, Ronis,” he said, voice stern. “You’re on the losing side. The Republic is taking back the planets. Do give yourself over peacefully. Don’t embarrass yourself.”

 

“You betrayed the First Order?” Olier barked, expression twisting into rage. 

 

On his left side, Ren took an aggressive step forward, and at his right, Rey mirrored Ren. Hux crossed his arms over his chest. “Give it up, Ronis,” Hux said calmly. “My companions and I have not been kind to supporters of Snoke and his ilk.” 

 

At a gesture from Lani, the O’reenians around them focused their laser pistols at Olier, including the entourage around him. Olier looked around him, slowly raising his hands to shoulder level. “Snoke will hear of this,” he said, eyes darkening.

 

Hux snorted. “Snoke is dead,” he replied irreverently. “I killed him myself.”

 

Lani made another gesture and the guards immediately took Olier into custody. “Thank you, Cian,” he said with a formal bow. “It’s a great deal of relief to arrest him. I assume you’ll be available to draft a new treaty, then?”

 

“Of course,” Hux answered. “And we’ll contact the New Republic for orders on Olier’s fate, in the meantime.”

 

Lani grinned. “Paranis will meet with you soon.”

 

Hux schooled his expression by sheer force of will alone. “I see.”

 

Lani though, who had worked closely with Hux the first time he'd been on O'reen, grinned at him. "I know," he said, heavy with amusement. "It's not your favorite thing." 

 

"Politics bore me," Hux drawled. "And Paranis is a politicking bloat of stale air. Do as you will, Ellanis. We'll be here." 

 

Nodding once, Lani barked out an order in O'reenian, causing the guards to all about face. They filtered out, and Lani closed the door behind him. 

 

Relaxing, Hux took stock of the room around him - it was opulent bordering on gaudy and Hux wrinkled his nose. Blue and Rey were practically bouncing in place, and he sighed. "Fine. Go explore. Don't leave the area and stay in comm range." 

 

Whooping quietly, Rey ducked through an open archway, dragging Blue along beside her. With tacit permission given to move, HK clomped to the door and took up a defensive position there. Despite having no eyes, nor facial expressions, he gave the very strong impression that he was glowering. 

 

Ren turned to Hux, reaching out and touching his elbow. "This seems to be going far better than expected," he murmured. "You were rather a bit fatalistic when we spoke of this last." 

 

Hux shrugged one shoulder, but didn't pull away from Ren's touch. "I suppose I picked O'reen first for a reason," he confessed. "Ellanis was a good subordinate, though he clearly was disillusioned with the Order from the get go." 

 

Ren accepted this, fingers encircling Hux's bicep. "Then... You don't believe the other planets will go well." 

 

Giving Ren a loaded look, Hux shrugged again. "I am... Not under any illusions. Many of the planets were happy to give fealty to the Order. Many will be happy to stay there, and just as many will be pleased to overthrow us--them. When your mother took this plan to me, I had a veritable list of reasons why this wouldn't work." Ren snorted, shaking his head. "Many of those reasons do - did - work in our favor. But let's be honest Ren. My time here with the Republic is short and growing shorter." 

 

Ren scowled fiercely. "I won't let them touch you." 

 

"You don't have a choice," Hux said severely. "This is not a Knight you can choke into submission, this is an entire people that I have wronged beyond the telling." 

 

Looking injured, Ren slid his hand from Hux's arm to his waist, fingers clenching in the fabric of his coat. "You said you'd run," he murmured. "If they attempted to arrest you." 

 

"I did," Hux agreed. "And I will. But that means my time here is still short. Will Rey and Finn and Poe be willing to run with me? Hardly." 

 

"Us," Ren interrupted. "Willing to run with us." 

 

Hux leveled a look at him. "You would abandon your family for me?" he asked skeptically. 

 

Ren lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "I've abandoned them before, and for less." 

 

Hux took a small step forward, leaning his forehead against Ren's. "I appreciate your... Willingness to run away with me," he said quietly. "But I cannot ask you to do it." 

 

"Funnily enough," Ren said snidely, "You don't have to. Where would you even go?" 

 

"Dxun," Hux answered with an immediacy that betrayed how often he'd thought of it. "Kiel owes me now, though he hasn't named me Mando'a, he has offered me a place amongst them. There, I can fade into obscurity, until only memory remains." 

 

Ren narrowed his eyes. "No," he said firmly. 

 

Inexplicably fond of the tall man-child who had wormed his way into Hux's soul, Hux tilted his face up and kissed him gently. "I hope you're right," he confessed, nose pressed to Ren's cheek. "I hope that I get to keep this." A confession, a concession. "I don't get to keep the things I love." 

 

"I'm not going anywhere," Ren promised. 

 

Hux had the sinking, sick, feeling that Ren would break his promise, but he swallowed back the sensation. "We need to focus," he said, in an effort to put the strange feeling behind him. He was no Force sensitive, his father had him tested multiple times before sending him to the Academy. He simply did not get vague feelings of unease. 

 

Ren looked dubious, and the place inside Hux's head swelled a little with affection that wasn't his, but Ren didn't comment on the directions his thoughts had turned. "We will have to revisit this conversation sooner or later," he warned instead but subsided. 

 

They didn’t have long to think about the dark turn their conversation had taken when they were interrupted by a spike of apprehension. "Cian!" Rey called, and there was a note of worry in her voice. 

 

Exchanging an alarmed glance with Ren, Hux hurried into the other room, drawing up short when he nearly bumped into Blue. "What's going on?" he asked, wary. Just beyond Rey and Blue was a massive desk made out of dark treated wood, the surface covered in datapads, holoterminal uplinks and a large screen visibly connected to the holonet. Hux raised an eyebrow, turning towards Rey. 

 

"These," Rey said, and picked up the top datapad in the pile of several. A quick scroll revealed the source of her concern. Splashed over multiple pads and pages, were designs of Star Destroyers, and more damningly, an incomplete Starkiller. Hux went briefly cold, then burned hot with rage and he tossed the pad back to the desk. "Those are cheap imitations," he growled. "A copy of my designs." 

 

Ren picked up a different pad, sorting through the information. "We should take these, get them to SR-3," he said. 

 

Blue, without prompting began gathering up the datapads and shoving them into her pack. "HK!" she called out. "Walk me back to the ship?" 

 

A static flavored sigh. "If you insist, meatbag." 

 

"Uh, Cian," Ren said slowly, eyes darting side to side as he read something on the holonet screen. "I need to make a call." Hux was still seething so he just raised an eyebrow in acknowledgement. "These plans were all sent to Lothal an hour ago, planet time," Ren said tightly. 

 

Uncomprehending, Hux just shrugged. "And?" he asked, baffled at Ren's sudden tension. 

 

"Lothal has major shipyards - and, as of a few months ago definitely not under First Order control. I know," he added when Hux didn't get any extra comprehension out of the explanation, "because that was the first planet we went to together and my friend Jagonath and his group of mercs were after you." 

 

That brought things into sharp, stark clarity. "Call him," Hux barked. 

 

Ren spun away, pulling up his personal holocomm. Rey sat down at the desk, sorting through the information left behind, fingers flying over the keys projected in front of her. "It looks like Lothal was taken over just before Snoke's death," she reported factually. 

 

Hux glanced at her. "I thought Blue was our splicer?" he asked, amused. 

 

"She is. I'm using the Force." 

 

"What, seriously?" Hux scowled, leaning on the edge of the desk. "Magic ruins everything." 

 

Ren spun back around, face livid. "-- Hang on a second Jag - _ It's not magic, kriff it _ \- Sorry, Jago, what's your situation." He ducked into the other room, hiding Jago's image from Hux. 

 

"Well," Hux said. "I'm glad some thing's don't change." 

 

Rey smirked at him. "That wasn't very nice." 

 

"That's hardly a surprise," Hux drawled. He tilted his head towards the screen. "What have you found out?" 

 

Studying the screens, she pointed out a few phrases. "It seems that many of the Lieutenants you left behind have withdrawn to Lothal." Hux's eyebrows raised incredulously. "Not all of them - but if we'd gone on from here to the next place on your list, we'd have found nothing." 

 

"Fantastic," he drawled. "Once Blue gets back, see what you two can pull out of the holonet." She nodded, eyes focusing back on the screen. Hux leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling. 

 

Things had just gotten a lot more complicated. 

 

*

 

"Magnus Paranis," Hux said, touching his open palm to his heart and bowing low. "Honor to see you again." 

 

Paranis inclined his head - a snub, and a very visible one - Hux gritted his teeth. "Commander," he intoned imperiously. "I am surprised to see you again. And under such a different banner." 

 

Hux smiled, letting it touch his eyes. "My life has taken me on a strange journey, it's true," he said genially. "I'm like a nexu, Magnus. I always land on my feet." 

 

"You bite like one as well, I hear," the Magnus drawled, lips slightly pursed. "I assume you've come to rid us of our parasitic Olier." 

 

"Indeed. The Republic is offering a hefty sum for his arrest. One that is quite worth your while." Blue handed him a datapad, and he stepped up to one of the O'reenian aides and tapped the edges together, transferring the information. The deal for the New Republic had been hammered out for nearly two solid days and Hux was rather proud of it. 

 

The aide looked over the report Hux had sent him, eyebrows raising in surprise before spinning and handing off the pad. Paranis was too cultured to give a visible reaction, but the satisfaction that both Rey and Ren were giving off inside his head told him that Paranis was surprised. 

 

"This is very generous," Paranis said, and there was a note of confusion in his tone. "More generous than I expected, considering what state the Republic has recently been in." 

 

Hux smiled, keeping it sharp and superior. "The Republic has found itself quite the windfall," he said, archly. "Planets under the banner of the New Republic will be given the resources they require, in return for the war criminals in the First Order."

 

Paranis’ expression narrowed. “War criminals such as yourself, Commander? What do you imagine the price is on your head?”

 

Ren and Rey tensed beside him but Hux just laughed. “Oh my dear Magnus,” he said. “You couldn’t afford me. Shall we get down to brass tacks, or will you continue to needle my jedi companions?”

 

“You mistake me,” Paranis said, and tossed a datapad to him. “Perhaps you were misinformed.” 

 

Hux looked down, thumbing the display on and paused, looking down at his own face on the screen. “I’m aware I was a wanted man, Magnus,” Hux said evenly, keeping his expression contained. Beside him, Ren began to vibrate with angry tension, and Hux touched his elbow gently. “This comes as no surprise.”

 

“Was?” Magnus said lightly. “You’ve been given a full pardon?”

 

Snorting quietly, Hux relaxed his First Order stance to cross his arms over his chest. “As full as one gets without a galactic senate behind it. You’ll find the signatures of General Ackbar, General Moya and General Leia on our treaty, Paranis. They sent me to you with this and we convened here today to speak of our business, not speculate to my status in the galaxy.”

 

Paranis eyed him, then glanced at Ren who had a black look of hatred visible on his striking features. “Very well,” he said, and Hux  _ hated  _ how he managed to sound like he was graciously allowing them to move the conversation forward. 

 

Force, but he loathed politics. 

 

“Thank you,” Hux said pleasantly, and smiled inwardly when Rey gave him an impressed look at the even tone. “The New Republic is a far better benefactor than the First Order.” He allowed himself to smirk. “You’ll find I’m something of an expert in this, first hand.” 

 

The Magnus smirked, eyeing Hux over the top of the datapad he still held. “I’m certain,” he said droll, and bone dry. He tossed the ‘pad to his aide who very nearly fumbled the thing, clearly not expecting the move. “Tell me something, Cian,” Paranis said, leaning forward in his seat to lean his elbows on his knees. 

 

The drop of the honorific surprised Hux, and he blinked twice before he replied. “Anything, within reason,” he said, narrowing his eyes slightly. 

 

“You came to us under the banner of the First Order, and if I recall correctly, you seemed quite content there,” Paranis said, musingly. “And fair enough, you were a masterful general. But now, here you are - much diminished.” 

 

Ren audibly growled at the term, and Paranis flashed a grin that matched the jedi tooth for tooth. “Diminished?” Hux scoffed. “Hardly that.”

 

“Oh, don’t misunderstand me,” Paranis said flippantly. “You seem well enough to my eyes, and Ellanis is impressed with your retinue as well as your return. I’ll accept the terms of your arrangement if you tell me why you left the First Order.”

 

_ Ah.  _ Suddenly the entire game made sense, and Hux regarded Paranis evenly. Ren shifted again and Hux laid a quelling hand on his back. “I suppose you could say that the Order left me, Magnus Paranis,” Hux drawled without inflection. “They judged me and found me wanting, and left me behind.” He leaned forward, ever so slightly, squaring his shoulders. The position was missing his oversized jacket from his General’s get up, but he could still loom with his words even if he was slight beside Ren’s bulk.  “Their mistake,” he added with a lightness that was a warning, “because I landed on my feet, and I tore them down for what they did to me. Don’t  _ you  _ mistake  _ me _ ,” he said, echoing Paranis deliberately. “My appearance in the inner circle of the Republic is hardly altruistic. I got my revenge on those that wronged me and I’ll sweep my way across the galaxy to make sure they cannot take my genius and use it. Trust that, if you trust nothing else - I might have made the First Order great once, the builder to their fleet. Now I am the architect of their destruction, and if you do not stand with us, then you stand with the Order.” He stared hard at Paranis, chin lifted in question. “Which piece do you prefer to be, Magnus Paranis? A king, or a pawn?”

 

During his speech, Ren and Rey had half turned to stare at him, but Hux paid them little attention. His entire focus was on Paranis and his response, and the leader looked contemplative for a long moment. “Very well,” Paranis said. “O’reen accepts the terms of the New Republic’s agreement. We’ll drop Olier into some carbonite and send him to your ship.”

 

Hux relaxed, inclining his head. “A pleasure doing business with you, Magnus,” he said pleasantly, all trace of his earlier intensity wiped from his expression. 

 

The guards led Ren, Rey and Hux back to Olier’s old quarters where they were safely left alone, and Ren cleared his throat awkwardly. “Rey, could you give us a second?” he asked.

 

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you two going to fight again? Don’t think I don’t know what you were talking about this morning.”

 

“We’re not going to fight,” Ren promised her solemnly. 

 

She nodded, and after giving Hux a quick hug, she wrapped an arm around HK’s and dragged him out the door. “C’mon, HK,” she said. “Walk me back to the ship, I want to see how SR and Blue are doing with those datapads.”

 

The door slid closed on HK’s grumbling, but Hux was sure that he caught the words ‘taxi service’ before Ren was on him. Shoved back into the door, Hux found himself pinned, Ren’s body tight to his. He kissed back, riding out the onslaught, digging his fingers into Ren’s hair and tugging him closer to adjust the angle.

 

Ren pulled away with a sharp inhale, pressing his forehead to Hux’s as he breathed raggedly. “That,” he said, his voice a low growl, “was the  _ sexiest thing I have ever seen _ .” 

 

Despite the tension that was between them, and the lust brewing in his veins, Hux laughed. “That?” he asked, with a vague gesture at the audience hall. “Truly?”

 

“Watching you take Paranis down a peg?” Ren replied incredulously. “It…” he trailed off into another low growl, pressing his lips to Hux’s throat, a hint of teeth in the kiss. “Your competence is very attractive,” he said breathlessly.

 

Laughing again, Hux settled back against the door, content to be pinned against Ren’s warmth. “As flattering as that is, I hope you realize that I’m not about to have sex with you in Olier’s bed.”

 

“Walls are fine,” Ren said instantly. 

 

Hux flicked his ear. “They most certainly are not. I am too old to be fucked against the wall like a teenager,” he retorted. 

 

Ren kissed him again but let him down from the door with a put upon sigh. “You have no sense of adventure,” he complained.

 

Hux bit his lip in retaliation, soothing the sting with another kiss. “I have plenty of adventure,” he said. “I do not relish the idea of Lani, Rey, Blue or HK coming into talk to us and finding…  _ that _ .” 

 

“HK has seen worse,” Ren protested, half heartedly.

 

Raising an incredulous eyebrow, Hux stared at him for a second. “That requires some explanation,” he said, amused. “Just what sort of things were you doing that HK has seen?”

 

“Not like that!” Ren barked, face flushing red. “He’s an assassin droid! He’s seen plenty, and I can only trace his creation back a few years, I don’t even know what he’s done and seen fully.”

 

Hux snorted. “Well, I’m not looking to add to his undoubtedly long list of sins and tragedies.” He did give Ren a quick kiss, before pulling back and heading into the holocommand room that the suite boasted. “We have work to do, regardless.”

 

Sighing, Ren trailed after him. “All work and no play makes Cian a boring boy,” he muttered, but grinned when Hux looked sharply at him. “Fine,” he said, and dropped into one of the chairs. “I’ll start writing up my report about Jagonath and Lothal and send it to mom.”

 

Taking the other chair, Hux cued up a call to the ship, nodding absently as Ren began pecking away at a datapad.  _ [Friend-Cian?]  _ SR-3 answered him promptly.  _ [How can I direct your call?] _

 

“Hello, little darling,” he said warmly. “Tell me, how do Rey and Blue fare against the onslaught of datapads they brought to you?”

 

_ [I downloaded all the data and drives, and I am in the middle of organizing the information in order of importance using the keywords you programmed into my datastream,]  _ SR responded.  _ [At the top of the list are the words  _ Starkiller, Snoke, Star Destroyer, Attack,  _ and any mentions of your names.] _

 

“Wonderful,” Hux praised. “Is there anything so far that you have a nasty feeling about?”

 

SR-3 hesitated for a long moment, before she said,  _ [There was a saved message on one of the datapads,]  _ she said.  _ [It did not have the keywords you programmed. But the message detailed missing Stormtroopers from a variety of First Order programs.] _

 

Hux thought about it for a second, tapping his finger against his lips. “Alright, SR. If you see any other mentions of missing stormtroopers, flag it as important as well.”

 

_ [Are you concerned about an attack?]  _ she asked anxiously.

 

“No,” he said, turning over the idea in his head. “I’m wondering if they’ve fled their programs because of Finn.”

 

_ [I will also add Designation Friend-Finn into the list of important keywords,] _ SR-3 said promptly.  _ [Would you like to speak to Friend-Rey or Friend-Blue?] _

 

“Blue, please, and thank you.” 

 

_ [Of course, Friend-Cian. Transferring you now.] _

 

There was a loud click and then Blue said, “Commander? We’re working as fast as we can, but there was a lot of data to download.”

 

Her words had the rushed urgent quality of someone expecting retribution for imagined failures and Hux inhaled slowly against another surge of criminal dislike for Astros. “Blue,” he advised gently, “Take a deep breath. You’re doing fine. I simply wanted to check in on you.”

 

He can hear her take several breaths and the last one wooshed out in a heavy sigh. “Commander, we’ve started crossing off planets from your projected list, on who has already fled from them. Rey suggested that we collaborate with D’Qar and send other teams to pick up the slack left behind from the Order.”

 

“Tell Rey that’s a wonderful idea and she’s in charge of it,” Hux said, smiling. “I assume you’ve realized by now that we’re going to Lothal as soon as we can.”

 

“Of course, Commander. We’ve gotten several updates from Ren’s contact Jagonath, and a few others from Akielo Ordo but we haven’t looked at those without your say so.”

 

That Kiel had sent him several more messages boded ill but Hux put it aside for the moment. “Good. It sounds like you have things under control. Will you send out HK to collect Finn and Poe? As soon as Paranis and Lani follow through on their end of the deal we’ll be taking to the air.”

 

“Sure,” Blue said brightly. “See you shortly.”

 

The comm went dead and Hux turned to gaze at Ren who was concentrating on his datapad. 

 

He had a small frown of concentration divoting the space between his eyebrows, as he typed carefully at his datapad. Hux leaned his elbow on the desk, thinking back over the last few months. It had been… difficult, at first. For him, if not for Ren and the others. He’d been able to see past the damage of Kylo, but Ren hadn’t. 

 

“You’re staring at me,” Ren murmured without looking up from his work. 

 

Hux smirked. “Can you blame me?”

 

Rolling his eyes, Ren finally glanced up at him. “I suppose not,” he said airily, “though I assumed you had more work to do.”

 

Thinking of the list of things left to do just made his stomach twist up in knots, so Hux shrugged one shoulder, leaning back in his seat. “I do,” he admitted, because they didn’t lie to each other, “but I’m taking a well deserved break.”

 

“To stare at me?” Ren asked skeptically.

 

“Am I not allowed to stare?” Hux asked, amused despite himself. “I was thinking,” he continued, before Ren could make another face and interrupt. “About the last few months.” The half smile on Ren’s face died an abrupt death and he looked away. “There are days, you know… where I wonder what happened to my life that I found myself here, back in this place, doing these things. What might have been.”

 

Ren frowned. “Because of this place?”

 

“No, not… No.” Hux shook his head. “Olier’s fate might once have been mine,” he murmured. “If Snoke had not attacked me, had I remained his General. Whatever physical changes Olier’s closeness with Snoke has wrought, the point… is the same. I could have been tainted, or twisted.”

 

Reaching across the table to take Hux’s hand, Ren shook his head. “No,” he said firmly. “The minute Snoke offered you something that would alter your very self you would have spurned him.” Hux opened his mouth to protest but Ren covered his mouth with his free hand. “I know you,” he said with intent. “I know you better than I have ever known anyone. Trust me.”

 

“I do trust you,” Hux said, pressing a kiss to Ren’s palm. 

 

Someone cleared their throat from behind him and Hux tensed, spinning in his chair to scowl at Lani. “Apologies for the interruption,” he drawled, grinning. 

 

“Lies,” Hux said, but he relaxed, waiting Lani out.

 

When Lani handed over the signed datapad full of their objectives, Hux could only feel relief. “All looks to be in order,” he said, and handed the ‘pad to Ren for him to skim as well. “Pass along our thanks to Magnus Paranis, will you?”

 

Dipping his head in a nod, Lani looked a bit put out. “I do wish you were staying longer, Ci,” he said. “I should like to enjoy our conversations again.”

 

Hux snorted. “You have my comm information,” he pointed out. “You’re welcome to send me a message whenever you so desire.” He caught a swell of incredulity from Ren and glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, confused. 

 

“I will,” Lani promised, smiling. “We can continue our conversation on gorilla tactics in dogfights.” 

 

Sighing sharply, Hux simply shook his head. “You’ve never been in a dogfight in your life, Ellanis, your make believe doesn’t work on me.” He stood, gathering up the datapads he’d left strewn around the desk. “Thank you, for expediting our arrival straight to Paranis’ door. I appreciate the sort of political mess that might have put you in.”

 

“I’m just pleased to get rid of Olier. He’s being delivered to your ship as we speak. Go well, and fly safely,” Lani said, bowing.

 

Hux bowed back. “Go well, and travel safely,” he replied. 

 

He could see Ren echoing his bow just out of the corner of his eye, and Lani turned his gaze in that direction as well. “Take care of him,” the O’reenian said. “We’ll speak later.” Then he disappeared out of the room, and when Hux followed him, the hall had already been emptied of guards.

 

The walk back to the Untouchable was without interruption, and Hux let his fingers brush Ren’s for a brief moment as they travelled side by side. “Ready?” he murmured, and Ren grinned at him.

 

“Jago might shoot at you when you first get to Lothal,” he said cheerfully. “But yes, I’m ready.”

 

“Good.” They stepped onto the ship together, shoulder to shoulder. “Rey!” Hux bellowed, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Wings up in five!”

 

*tbc


	3. iii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hux hesitated, glancing away before meeting Ren’s eyes. “This war? It’s ruthless calculus Ren,” he said quietly, “Firing Starkiller Base? Ruthless calculus. Turning my back on the Order? Calculus. And right here, right now, this battle? That’s calculus too.”_
> 
> _His frown morphed into a scowl and Ren crossed his arms over his chest. “And what about us?” he demanded._
> 
> _“You’ve never been maths to me, Ren,” Hux said with a glimmer of amusement._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For: Lex, Sasha, Sera, and Song (with special thanks to Song for the tireless editing and commentary)
> 
> It is SHOCKINGLY difficult to slow down and post once a week, let me tell you. 
> 
> Per usual, I'm at [tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com) for all your Kylux and Stormpilot needs.
> 
> Mando'a!  
> Su cuy'gar - Hello (Lit. "You're still alive")  
> Al'verde - Commander  
> ner'burc'ya - My friend (close friend, comrade, non-related brother)

Iii.

 

Lothal was a war zone.

 

Ren and Hux stared in mute shock at the transparisteel windows of the Untouchable, just outside of radar range. The planet was completely surrounded by Star Destroyers of various sizes and age. From the distance they were back from, Hux could only see a handful, but most of those he recognized: the Inquisitor, the Celestin, and the Horizon were all there. “You recognize these things?” Dameron asked, quietly.

 

“Some of them,” Hux admitted. “Enough of them to know that we’re outclassed and outgunned.” 

 

Poe nodded, but his eyes were still on the ships before them. “So, what do we do?” he asked. 

 

“I’m taking suggestions,” Hux said to the room at large, knowing without turning that the rest of their crew was just behind them, waiting on his word.

 

“Could we draw them away?” Blue asked, coming up behind Hux and wrapping her arms around his bicep. “Open up a hole to travel through?”

 

Finn shook his head, standing behind Poe’s chair. “No, the Star Destroyers wouldn’t chase a small corvette class ship, even knowing who was on it. We’d need a bigger presence for that.”

 

Ren tensed beside him at the same time the idea struck Hux. “SR!” the both shouted together, spinning to look at the holocommand center. 

 

She was sitting on top of it, half turned towards them, eyelight dilated in surprise.  _ [I didn’t do it!]  _ she said immediately.

 

“Get me Kiel, would you, darling?” Ren asked sweetly. If a droid could sigh in relief, SR would have as she slumped a little to one side. “And we’re going to talk about whatever it is you’re trying to cover up after,” he added just after she dialed in Kiel’s address. 

 

Kiel picked up before she could reply to that, a harried “Su cuy’gar,” filling the room. 

 

“Kiel,” Hux said, before Ren could respond. “How ready are your men for combat?” 

 

An unimpressed look was Kiel’s answer and he crossed his arms over his chest. “Ask a stupid question, Cian,” he said. “What do you need?”

 

Hux made a face, rolling his eyes at Kiel. “I’m aware the question is a redundant one, Ordo. It has simply only been a few galactic months since the Battle for the Aristarchus.”

 

“My men are ready for anything you can throw at them,” Kiel said firmly. “What are your orders, Al’verde?” 

 

Blowing a long slow sigh out of his nose, Hux contemplated the angles he had available to him. “How fast can you get to the Lothal system?” he asked.

 

“Using the Hyperspace Trade Route? A matter of hours,” Kiel answered immediately. “I’ve made the run before.”   
  


Nodding once, Hux glanced past the holographic Kiel’s shoulder, focusing on the transparisteel windows. “I’m just outside the system myself,” he admitted. “What’s left of the First Order is here in force.” 

 

Kiel frowned. “What’s so special about Lothal?” he asked. “It’s an out of the way backwater with no military history of note.”  

 

“The shipyards,” Ren answered, stepping up behind Hux. “It will be the fastest way to pad their dwindling and depleted fleet.”

 

Dawning clarity filled Kiel’s face before he scowled. “And you want to cut them off at the root.”

 

“Something like that, yes,” Hux drawled.

 

Snapping a sharp salute, Kiel’s expression grew serious. “What sort of attack are you thinking of, Al’verde?”   
  


At that, Hux smiled. “The kind where we attack on two fronts, ner’burc’ya.”

 

Kiel snorted. “A pincer attack? My fleet with your tiny corvette class ship.  _ Really, Cian _ ?” 

 

As Ren made offended sounding scoffing noises, Hux shook his head, “No, not quite. You see, we have a dedicated splicer, and she knows all the ways to get into the First Order comm system. Not only do we have her, but we also have Finn, the original defector from the First Order. Logic dictates that of all the hundreds of ‘troopers left of this fleet, at least one may wish to leave as well.”

 

Understanding lit Kiel’s expressive face. “You want to attack them from the inside,” he murmured.

 

“I want to sow the seeds of doubt,” Hux affirmed. “I want to give the ‘troopers pause. I want them to find another way.” 

 

Nodding slowly, Kiel gazed down at Hux. “I wouldn’t have thought that was something you’d care for,” he said honestly.

 

Hux shrugged. “It’s not. But it’s important to Finn, Blue and Tempest, and they are important to me.” 

 

Kiel smirked. “Would you look at that,” he drawled. “General Starkiller has a heart.”

 

Hux rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why you sound surprised,” he groused. “I should think that would be patently obvious by now.” 

 

Kiel’s grin only widened. “If you have a plan of attack already, why do you need us?” he asked.

 

This time, Hux grinned back. “That’s the easy part,” he said. “I need you to make some noise.”   
  


“We’ll be there in three galactic hours,” Kiel said after a beat of anticipatory silence. “I’ll comm when we’re close.”   
  


The holocommand center went dark and Hux turned to face a suddenly nervous looking Finn. “Start coming up with a speech ‘FN-2187’,” he said. “It’s your words that will save your old comrades.”

 

Blue laughed, detaching from Hux’s side and taking pity on Finn’s ashen complexion. “It’s alright,” she said lightly. “I’ll help you. So will Tempest.” She took his hand, patting his arm.

 

Finn ran a hand over his face. “I don’t even know where to begin,” he admitted, as Blue led him towards the kitchen. “What do I even  _ say _ ?” 

 

“You’ll think of something,” Blue told him kindly, and shut the door behind them. 

 

Ren turned towards Hux, leaning a hip on the command center. “That was kind of you,” he commented. “It would have been just as easy to have the Mando’ade fleet take out the Destroyers alone.”   
  


Hux shrugged. “Kind? Perhaps. To be honest, that wasn’t truly my intention.” When all Ren did was nod and gesture for him to go on, Hux sighed. “Attacking an enemy who is also fighting himself is just good tactics,” he clarified. “That it means we may kill fewer Stormtroopers, that’s just a bonus.”

 

Ren frowned a little. “Is that how you see everything?” he asked, and there was a thread of hurt concern running through his words.

 

Hux hesitated, glancing away before meeting Ren’s eyes. “This war? It’s ruthless calculus Ren,” he said quietly, “Firing Starkiller Base? Ruthless calculus. Turning my back on the Order? Calculus. And right here, right now, this battle? That’s calculus too.”

 

His frown morphed into a scowl and Ren crossed his arms over his chest. “And what about us?” he demanded.

 

“You’ve never been maths to me, Ren,” Hux said with a glimmer of amusement. “Now; here, I find myself in a unique position.”   
  


“You  _ care _ ,” Ren murmured and the burst of surprised affection of their mental link warmed Hux’s insides. 

 

“Yes,” he agreed quietly. “I care. You - this ship, these people - you’re mine, in a way that the people aboard the Finalizer were not. You’re not numbers, not anymore.” He sighed, looking down where SR-3 was charging. “But the unique position allows me to know that not all that long ago, I could have  _ reduced you  _ to a number.”

 

Ren kissed him, smothering whatever Hux might have said next. He swallowed Hux’s sound of surprise but kept the kiss chaste, neither of them deepening it. Ren leaned his forehead against Hux’s, lingering. “I love you,” Ren said, pulling far enough away to talk. “But I’m afraid for you.”

 

“I’m afraid for me too,” Hux admitted softly. “But… I will survive, as long as you’re safe.”   
  


But Ren drew away, shaking his head. “There is no me without you,” he said.

 

Hux blinked, a little surprised, a little awed. Try as he might, he couldn’t remember when they’d gone from being Hux and Ren to being Hux-and-Ren. He’d been alone for so long, rising through the ranks of the Order, and connecting to nothing or no one. That hadn’t changed, not in thirty four years, and Cian Armitage Hux was used to being alone. 

 

It had only taken thirty five to really get it right.

 

“Ren,” Hux said just before Ren could pull away entirely. “There’s not much of me without you either.” 

 

The smile that stole over Ren’s face was worth the difficulty he’d had in saying it. Hux kept that smile with him even as he went back to his datapad, went back to reducing the world and the lives in it to numbers and calculus. 

 

It would keep him warm, even when the maths turned out cold.

 

*

 

Finn inhaled, jaw tight with tension. He’d dragged a chair from the kitchen up to the audio only comm buoy and sat there, waiting. His fingers were flexing and tightening spasmodically on the edges of the chair. 

 

“Begin,” Blue said and with several deft movements hacked straight into the Stormtrooper switchboard. 

 

“Hi,” Finn said all in an awkward rush. “My name is Finn, but you would better know me as FN-2187. Yes, I was a stormtrooper just like you. I lived with you, I ate with you, I fought for you, I breathed with you, and I left you.” His breathing hitched with nerves but he soldiered on. “I know that right now, you’re thinking to yourself that if you can just find out where I’m transmitting from, capturing me might get you that promotion. That you can go from nothing to a hero.” 

 

Hux watched as the nerves fell away, and Finn straightened his spine. “But you’re always going to be nothing to them,” Finn bit out. “Four numbers, three or even one - you’ll never be a person to them. And it doesn’t have to be that way, you can leave - they don’t control you, not if you don’t want to be controlled. Me, I was alone. I got away and I got a  _ name _ ,” Finn paused, letting that sink in. “Imagine what all of you could do together,” he added with a curious weight to his words. “Imagine that you could take that hidden name, the one you kept close to your heart, and said, I am. We are. You are that name,” Finn swore fervently. “And the First Order can’t control you anymore.” 

 

Blue cut the feed and Finn slumped forward like all his strings were cut, head resting on his forearms. Poe began to move forward, but Rey caught him by the elbow, shaking her head. Hux stepped forward, taking Finn’s shoulder gently. “Well done,” he murmured. “I’m proud of you.”

 

The tension ran out of Finn’s frame and only then did Rey let Poe go to him. 

 

Hux was shocked to discover his opinion - and his approval - mattered so much to the ex-’trooper. He watched as Poe led Finn off towards the kitchen, wrapping an arm around him and pressing a kiss to his temple. Ren nudged Hux gently, fingers warm at the small of his back.  _ He considers us a family, _ he murmured quietly, their connection trilling between them.  _ He believes you’re the cause for this. _

 

Hux leaned back into Ren’s touch, just every so slightly.  _ Me? _ He wondered incredulously.  _ Don’t be ridiculous. _

 

Ren’s low laugh filled Hux’s head and Hux turned to scowl at him.  _ I’m not _ , Ren said honestly.  _ Face it, Cian. You’ve become a family man. _

 

_ You realize this makes you the mother, _ Hux said dryly. 

 

There was a slight pause as Ren digested that, before he shrugged.  _ I can live with it.  _

 

Together, they stood side by side at the viewports, watching the fleet. It was a matter of minutes before Ren’s datapad chimed and he broke their mental and physical connection to look down at it. “Kiel’s ready and waiting for our signal,” Ren said quietly. 

 

Eyes still on the windows, Hux nodded. “Tell them to make some noise,” he said. “Disable for now, but to be ready for that order to change.” 

 

A moment later, and Kiel’s fleet roared into being, dropping out of FTL on top of the First Order. There was a brief moment of stillness, and then; chaos. 

 

The Order visibly scrambled to adjust for battle and Hux sneered in disgust at their incompetence. “Things certainly have changed,” Phasma said from behind him. “Then again, without you, their Flagships were fairly useless.”

 

Hux turned an amused glance on her. “Flatterer,” he accused.

 

“Just honest,” she shot back. “You were the only thing holding the Order together.”

 

He snorted. “What do you want, Phas?”

 

“Plasma cannon,” she said immediately.

 

He really shouldn’t have been surprised. “Fine, go.” He turned towards the cockpit, getting Rey’s attention. “Let’s go,” he ordered gently. “Try to avoid combat if you can.”

 

Rey nodded. “We’ll do our best,” she promised. “Poe, c’mon!” The work of a moment and they were moving forward, sliding under the worst of the battle, and darting towards Lothal.

 

For two blessed seconds, Hux thought they might actually make it unscathed.

 

Of course, then a blast nearly knocked him off his feet a minute later as the Inquisitor locked onto them. “Ordo,” Ren shouted into their open comm frequency. “Get this thing off my six!”

 

In a smooth and well practiced upsweet, six banshee fighters broke formation to block the Inquisitor, giving Rey the time she needed to break the atmo of Lothal and vanish into the thick cloud cover. 

 

“Ren, Cian,” Kiel said breathless joy in his tone. “Several lifepods were disengaged during the fighting - enough that I lost count though it was more than twenty.” 

 

Ren and Hux exchanged a look, a wealth of information transfering between their bond. “Target the Inquisitor,” Hux said heavily. “Take out anything that openly attacks you but accept surrenders if there are any.” 

 

“Understood, Al’verde. Ordo out.” The cloud cover hid them from sight as well as hiding others from them, but Hux wasn’t willing to take any more chances. 

 

“You did your best,” Finn said. “At least you tried.”

 

“I know,” Hux said. “Rey. Take us down.”

 

Ren slipped forward, leaning over Rey to plug in the coordinates where he’d agreed to meet Jago. “here,” he instructed.

 

It didn’t take long for them to reach the clearing, landing amongst thing fog and mud. “This is your show,” Hux said to Ren with a half smile. “I’ll follow you.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll just  _ bet  _ you will,” Poe muttered, and then: “... ow.” He rubbed his arm where Finn had pinched him.

 

Ren squared his shoulders and led them out into the murky quagmire. As soon as they hit solid ground, several people came out of the fog, only the lights from the Untouchable illuminating them enough to see. 

 

Stepping forward, Ren grinned. “Jagonath,” he greeted and the leader pulled a face.

 

“Ren,” the mercenary replied. “Who’s that with you?”

 

“My full crew,” Ren said honestly. “My copilots, Poe and Rey. My splicer, Blue. My shocktroopers, Finn and Tempest. My…” here he trailed off a little, looking over at Phasma. “That’s Irmingard,” he said finally. “Don’t piss her off, she might shoot you.” Phasma snorted. “And lastly, my partner, Cian.”

 

“You look familiar,” Jago said after a second.

 

Hux smiled, showing his teeth. “Hardly,” he said disdainfully. It was a small effort to scrub his voice of his Arkanis accent, and it almost felt like it was before… everything. When it was just Hux and Ren, the only thing missing was the mask. 

 

Jago’s eyes narrowed but he shrugged one shoulder. “Well come on then,” he said. “Camp’s this way.”

 

They made their way down the beaten path, Rey jumping lightly over puddles while Hux side stepped them neatly. ‘Camp’ was a few minutes walk away, ducking into far flung trees before revealing the tents and huts erected for use. “Jag!” several people greeted, and a surprising number of them called out to Ren as well. 

 

“Early reports say a fleet came out of nowhere and demolished the First Order ships in orbit,” Jago said lightly, looking at Ren. “Your doing?”

 

Ren inclined his head. “The Mando’ade Fleet owes me some favors,” he said ambiguously. 

 

Snorting Jago clapped a hand to Ren’s shoulder. “Favors, he says,” Jago repeated. “I’m sure.” He turned to a woman standing by a cannibalized comm unit. “Spread the word,” he ordered. “We begin to move at first light.”

 

Once she had nodded and stepped in to start sending reports, Jago moved back out in the center of the camp. “Jag?” Ren asked curiously.

 

Jago turned swiftly, sharply, leveling a plasma pistol at Hux’s head. “So,” Jago said, voice unwavering and pleasant. “You want to explain to me why you’ve brought General Hux into my camp?”

 

*


	4. iv.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _  
> "Do you think this will work?" Rey asked him pensively, arms tight across her chest._
> 
> _Hux sighed, turning himself slightly towards her and holding out his free arm. When she went to him, he dropped a kiss on her hair. "I don't know," he told her honestly because lying to a jedi was full ranks of stupid. "But I trust that if things go poorly, I have you, Finn and Ren to get us out of it."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning, darlings.
> 
> This chapter is for Lex, Sasha, Song and Sera, it's also for everyone who patiently waited for me to resolve the cliffhanger. #sorrynotsorry
> 
> There's no Mando'a in this chapter (though some is probably implied.) 
> 
> As ever, I can be found on [ for all your Kylux needs. Come chat! ](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Special thanks to Song for the edits, the designation name, and all around crack.

Everyone froze.

 

Hux could feel the build up of the Force around Rey even if no one else could, and as Jago flicked his eyes to Ren, she moved. Having watched her start out, seeing her speed then was a marvel, Hux mused. 

 

Rey was suddenly between Hux and the plasma pistol, so quickly that the air around her blurred, then she was gone again, the pistol held in her hands. 

 

Both Hux and Jagonath stared at his empty hand in shock. "Rey," he said wearily, equal parts glad for her intervention and expecting serious reprisal for it. 

 

"The only person who gets to shoot you is me," she said, and Hux rubbed his forehead. 

 

Jago gestured sharply with his empty hand, turning to face Ren straight on. "Ren, come on. You've got to know what the bounty on his head is worth. You gave us the Ident chips possible to hunt him." 

 

That made Hux raise an eyebrow at Ren who flushed a little under the scrutiny. "A year ago," Ren said pointedly. "A year in which you didn't catch him and the situation has changed. He works for the New Republic now - as do I. And he's here to get rid of the First Order pfassks that took over your shipping yards - as am I." 

 

"You can't expect me to believe that he changed sides," Jago spat. "He blew up the Hosnian System!" 

 

Ren opened his mouth but Hux placed a quelling hand on his shoulder. "Enough," he said. "You can't defend me from something that's true." Ren scowled at him but subsided. "Rey, give the man back his pistol," Hux said firmly. 

 

Slowly, as though expecting Hux to stop her despite the order, Rey handed the gun back to Jago who immediately returned to pointing it at Hux. "What's your angle, General Starkiller?" Jago growled, voice low and dangerous. 

 

"No angle," Hux said honestly. "This standoff changes and accomplishes nothing. I am simply trying to hasten it along to it's natural conclusion." 

 

Jago snorted, a touch of amusement lightening his otherwise angry features. "You have a death wish, is that it?" 

 

Hux laughed lightly, shaking his head. "Hardly," he drawled. "But as you haven't shot me yet, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you're the one with the angle. You don't want to kill me, Jagonath. You want to  _ use _ me." 

 

There was a long pause, before the tension ran out of Jago and he holstered his pistol. "You're a clever man, Starkiller," he said finally. 

 

"Merely a pragmatic one," Hux denied. "In your position, faced with the enemy I know and surrounded by his former compatriots, being clever is the only way to win." He crossed his arms over his chest, more to keep himself from touching Ren than anything else. "Bring me in chains to what's left of the First Order, and suddenly you're on the inside." 

 

Ren looked desperately like he wanted to run his hand over his face. "Tell me you weren't planning on this," he begged. 

 

Hux lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Not really, no," he answered honestly. "But it makes the most sense. Jagonath brings me, you, and Rey in chains to the headquarters of the Order, the rest of our crew and his men positioned strategically around the area, it makes sense." 

 

There was a wealth of incredulity in Ren's face but Hux refused to buckle. "You must be joking," Ren said flat and monotone. "There's only about a million things that could go wrong with this scenario." 

 

Jagonath's eyes were flicking back and forth between the two of them like he was watching a particularly riveting grav-ball match. Hux kept half an eye on him, tense and waiting for his next move. "Look," Jago said harshly. "I'm still tempted to shoot you, but it's a good plan." 

 

"No it's not!" Rey and Ren chorused. 

 

Hux ignored them with the ease of long practice. "If I betray you," Hux said meeting Jago's pale and beady eyes, "you can shoot me then." He held out a hand to shake. "Deal?" 

 

There was a short pause, filled with tension, before Jagonath reached forward and shook Hux's hand. "Deal," he grunted and took a step back. 

 

The rest of the tension drained out of the air and Hux relaxed slightly. Ren shook his head, stepping closer to Hux.  _ I can't believe you, _ he grumbled across their connection. 

 

_ Why _ ? Hux wondered, uncharitably amused.  _ He wasn't going to put the pistol down, and the entire camp was waiting for a signal from him. We need them, at least for now. _

 

Ren grumbled for a few seconds more before giving in to his impulses and crowding closer to Hux, a hand on his shoulder, the other on his hip. Hux knocked his temple against Ren's, pressing for a brief second. "Go talk with your friends," he murmured. "I'll be just fine over here, with Rey." 

 

After another second of contact, Ren pulled away and strode over to Jago, clapping a hand on his shoulder and leading him further away from Hux's position by the comm tent. 

 

Rey took up the spot on Hux's left, while Poe and Finn stood casually in front of them. Phasma, for her part, loomed off to one side. "Very impressive, Irmingard," Hux said to her, amusement curling around his tone. 

 

She scowled at him. "Thank you, Commander," she said, and seemed to get even larger. 

 

Finn made a noise and sidled further away from her, much to her open amusement. "How are you doing that?" Poe asked, one part fascinated, two parts horrified. "Are you sure you don't have the Force? I think you might have the Force. Rey, can someone use the Force to lurk?" 

 

"No," Rey answered with a laugh at the same time that Phasma spat, "I'm not lurking," with incredible disdain. 

 

"You're kind of lurking," Poe said doubtfully. 

 

Blue slipped up to him, wrapping her arms around one of his, as was her current habit. "I was listening into the comm buoys," she murmured to him while Poe, Finn and Rey debated the finer points of lurking and looming, as Phasma somehow managed to do both at the same time. "Listening for survivors, or if Captain Ordo had managed to save any of the First Order ships." 

 

Leaning his chin on the top of her head, Hux felt his chest tighten a little. "Did he?" he wondered. 

 

"Some," she answered. "Mostly 'trooper Units. Few, if any, of the Generals and officers surrendered." 

 

Digesting that, Hux was intimately reminded of something Luke had said to him, back before he'd even given half a thought to joining the Republic.  _ Perhaps _ , he'd said, very gently as though speaking to a spooked animal,  _ it's not only the stormtroopers who are conditioned. _

 

He sighed. "Alright," he murmured in response. "I can't say I'm surprised."

 

Blue tilted her head up to look at him, squinting a little in the light. "Captain Phasma followed you," she said. 

 

That made him smile. "Captain Phasma is a singular woman, and more intelligent than most of the remaining Generals put together." 

 

Phasma glanced over at them. "A compliment, sir?" she called out. "You must be getting soft in your old age." 

 

Hux scowled at her. "You're older than me," he protested. "By nearly two years." 

 

Blue giggled lightly, leaning more fully into Hux's space. "When I checked in, Captain Ordo was collecting survivors. He said he would bring them all to Yavin 4, so that Day can deal with them." 

 

Nodding, Hux turned his attention to where Ren was standing across the clearing with Jagonath. They seemed to be in an intense argument, with Ren gesturing expansively while Jago scowled. Hux briefly wondered if Ren was trying to talk Jago out of their cobbled together plan. 

 

"Do you think this will work?" Rey asked him pensively, arms tight across her chest. 

 

Hux sighed, turning himself slightly towards her and holding out his free arm. When she went to him, he dropped a kiss on her hair. "I don't know," he told her honestly because lying to a jedi was full ranks of stupid. "But I trust that if things go poorly, I have you, Finn and Ren to get us out of it." 

 

Blue reached out with one of her hands and took Rey's squeezing gently. "Do you think things are going to poorly?" she asked. 

 

Putting on a confident smile that he'd borrowed from Ren, Hux shook his head. "It'll be fine," he told them gently. "It'll all be fine." 

 

* 

 

It wasn't fine.

 

The entire process had started out as a kriffshow straight from the get go. Hux, Rey and Ren had all been cuffed by Jago's men, and as soon as they reached the shipyard compound, they'd immediately been separated. 

 

Ren had kept up a nearly constant commentary, dumping his insights into Hux's mind as they went their separate ways. Rey's mind was quiet but present, and Hux reached out to give her some reassurance. 

 

Then, like a switch had been flipped, their minds went dark and the backlash on Hux sent him stumbling to his knees. The two stormtroopers holding him had paused, confused, before hauling him to his feet and dragging him several more steps into an interrogation room, where they'd left him. 

 

According to the timepiece on his wrist, Hux had exactly twenty seconds before the magnetized cuffs that Jagonath had put on him would come off. He spent ten of those seconds quietly panicking. He spent the other ten readying himself for what was likely to be a very one sided fight. 

 

As soon as the cuffs deactivated and dropped to the floor, Hux was up, moving behind the door and engaging the stealth drive he'd kept concealed on his belt. The door opened and Hux had a second to ascertain who was coming to question him before he was on them. 

 

Wrapping his arm around her throat, Hux dragged the lieutenant backwards into the corner, squeezing with increasing pressure until she felt limply in his arms, unconscious. 

 

Taking a good look at her face, Hux vaguely recognized one of the Inquisitors lesser officers, Coria Mardin, before he cuffed her to the table and liberated her of her blaster pistol. 

 

Quickly fleeing into the hall and disappearing under the stealth drive and the dim light of the warehouse, Hux waited in a darkened alcove for the signal. Even if Ren and Rey were unable to do their parts of the plan, he could manage his own. 

 

The minutes ticked by like years as Hux breathed shallowly through his nose, waiting for Jagonath to set off the proximity charges and take his people - plus Blue, Tempest, Finn and Phasma - and attack the Stormtroopers in the yard of the warehouse. 

 

Finally, as two minutes finally were up, an explosion rocked the building. Several more went off in quick succession, and Hux moved. Stormtroopers streamed out of the front doors into the yard, and there was shouting and chaos. 

 

The First Order never did do well with chaos. 

 

Hux reached out again with his mind, but found nothing but darkness. Making a face, he made for the stairs, keeping close to the walls. Without a power pack, his stealth unit only had so many charges, and he needed to make every last one count. 

 

Bumping into stampeding 'troopers would be a fast way to lose the upper hand. He hurried down the steps, and once he made it to the main engineering floor, Hux found himself face to face with an entire battalion of 'troopers. 

 

He froze, glancing at the floor to check for even the slightest of impediments, before moving slowly to the left. "Stand your ground men!" An impressively armored Stormtrooper shouted. Unlike Phasma's old Captain's armor, his was a dull matte black with wicked looking spikes protruding from the shoulders, arms, and leg plates. He wore no helmet, but Hux didn't recognize his face or voice. "Those Resistance scum won't get very far." 

 

Hux could see the console he needed behind them, he just needed to walk slowly and carefully around the 'troopers closest to the walls. 

 

He was nearly there, nearly free, when another explosion slammed into the building, and the stormtrooper next to him lost his footing, sending him stumbling into Hux. 

 

The stealth dropped. "Bantha kriff," Hux swore, and bolted. 

 

Forced to bypass the console with the codes and blueprints Jagonath wanted, Hux ducked as a blaster bolt flew overhead, and he skidded around the corner, pressing his shoulders to the wall. 

 

_ Ren _ ! He shouted, sending the mental probe howling through the blackness that was left of his Force Bond. There was no answer. He tried Rey, and then, as a last ditch effort, Finn. All three, no answer, not that he truly expected Finn to hear him. 

 

Hux snarled under his breath, holding his position at the corner, fingers tightening convulsively around his plasma pistol. He had four charges left on his stealth drive, he'd need to ration them or find another Agent to liberate one from.

 

There was the familiar sound of enamelled boots on plasteel, and Hux tensed, prepared for a shoot out. A trooper came around the corner, rifle at the ready. Hux leveled his pistol at them, and paused in shock as the trooper immediately dropped a stun grenade, kicking it away. 

 

It rolled around the corner behind the 'trooper, and Hux blinked in surprise, lowering his weapon. "Did you mean it?" the 'trooper asked, their voice a flat monotone. "What FN-2187 said, on the comms."

 

Hux gazed at him, measuring his expression. "We meant it. Finn's outside somewhere, actually. I'm quite certain he'd be happy to make your acquaintance, if we get out of this alive. What's your name?" 

 

The 'trooper took off his helmet, dropping it and kicking it away like so much refuse. "I'm XN-7209." 

 

Waving that off, Hux shook his head. "I mean your  _ name _ ," he said. 

 

Hesitating, the trooper looked behind him apprehensively before stepping closer to Hux. "My unit used to call me Absconder," he admitted in a small, frightened voice. 

 

"Absconder," Hux repeated, giving it the weight it deserved. "Pleased to meet you, I'm Cian."

 

Absconder grinned, revealing crooked front teeth before there was a suddenly cacophony from the room behind him. "We need to move, sir. They'll wake up soon," he said, falling into a First Order salute. 

 

Hux grabbed his shoulder. "Do you know where they took the two people who came in with me? A girl and a man with long hair?" 

 

"No," the 'trooper answered, shaking his head. "I wasn't part of that unit." 

 

"Kriff," Hux swore. "I need to get to that console," he said, pointing back towards the engineering floor. "Can you draw them away?" 

 

Absconder hesitated; then his expression evened out into determination. "I can, sir," he said. He didn't snap another salute but Hux got the impression it was a close thing. "If you go invisible and tuck yourself into a corner, wait for me." Then the 'trooper ducked around the corner again, shouting, "This way! This way! He's on the move, get up you lazy nerf herders, come on!" 

 

Hux hit the button on his stealth drive, sliding into a close alcove and stood perfectly still, waiting for Absconder to lead the still slightly dazed stormtroopers of his lackluster unit down the hall and around the corner. 

 

The places in his mind belonging to Ren and Rey were still silent, and Hux suppressed a shiver. He  _ needed _ to find them. 

 

First though, he stepped out of the alcove and back into the room, stepping around several dead or unconscious troopers. 

 

He knelt by the console in the middle of the room, easing Blue's favorite spike type into the unit. It was the work of moments to erase the entire file system, and it was just as easy to copy the information Jagonath wanted onto his datapad. 

 

Once done, Hux reengaged the stealth drive and made his way back around towards the entrance where Ren and Rey had been taken away from him. 

 

The sound of fighting was stronger there, but Hux didn't pay any attention to the yard or the chaos inside it. He needed to find Ren and Rey. 

 

Backtracking to the holding room he'd been placed in, Hux began a slow, methodical search of the surrounding rooms, peeking through cracked doors, transparisteel windows, whatever it took to find his way inside each room. 

 

There wasn’t even the slightest hint of their presence in the warehouse and Hux was fast running out of doors to look behind. Cut off from his Force bonds, and with no communication to his outside crew, his list of options was growing slim. With a slight whine of electric failure, his second to last stealth field died, and Hux swore softly. 

 

After finding the last room on the first floor empty, Hux resigned himself to needing help. He slipped back around to the front doors, going out into the warehouse yard. From inside, it had merely  _ sounded  _ like chaos. Stepping into it was like stepping into a tornado. 

 

His position in the Order had afforded him the ability to wage war from afar; his chosen profession in the academy had allowed for quick, stealthy attacks. Hux had never been in live combat and for good reason. 

 

It was a _nightmare_. 

 

The only reason he could tell one side from the other was the stormtrooper’s white armor, and the color of the blaster bolts flying over head. He scrambled up on top of a box, looking for Finn’s distinctive lightsaber, before hitting his last stealth charge and making his way over to where Finn fought back to back with Tempest. 

 

“Finn!” he shouted, dropping the field on his own, and slipping under the electrical arcs Tempest’s shock stave was generating. 

 

“Where’s Rey?” Finn called back, easily changing his stance to include Hux’s proximity.

 

Hux grimaced. “We got separated,” Hux said, trying to project his voice over the sound of lightning and battle. “Finn, I can’t  _ feel  _ them, either of them.”

 

The blue light around them went out as Finn deactivated his ‘saber. “What.” Hux let all of his concern bleed into his expression, and Finn nodded once decisively. “Let’s go,” he said, taking Hux’s wrist and pulling him towards the warehouse. 

 

“I need an ear comm,” Hux protested, and then cut himself off as Tempest leaned over and fit one into his hand. “Thank you,” he said as Tempest grinned. He slipped it into his ear as they ran back towards the buildings. “This is Commander Hux,” he barked as soon as it fizzed and went online. “Sitrep, go.”   
  


There was a sudden silence then Phasma laughed breathlessly. “Roughly a fourth of the ‘troopers have defected, sir,” she reported. “But the ones that haven’t are fighting fiercely. They’re trying to protect something in the middle building, behind the one you were taken to.” 

 

“Cian,” Blue said urgently, “they’ve been sending a lot of information over the comm traffic line, but I can’t catch it and decrypt it at the same time using the resources Mr. Jagonath has.”

 

“Grab what you can,” Hux and Jago said at the same time. 

 

There was an awkward pause before Hux continued, “then decrypt later. Has anyone seen officers or anyone of higher rank than lieutenant?”

 

“No,” Jago grumbled. “They just keep throwing ‘troopers at us.”

 

“We’re on our way to find Rey and Ren,” Finn reported. “Cian was separated from them. We’ll make our way to the middle building, it seems a likely candidate for their capture.”

 

Hux agreed and together they fell into step, moving quickly towards the gap between buildings. Their progress was unhindered, but as soon as they cleared the first building, three heavily armed ‘troopers stepped out of the shadows to block their passage. 

 

It was immediately obvious to both Hux and their attackers that it wasn’t going to be a fair fight; Hux was without a stealth drive, without a vibrosword, and only armed with a small plasma pistol. Finn stepped forward though and said, with a surprisingly gentle kindness, “You want to let us pass.”   
  


All three ‘troopers paused, then holstered their weapons, moving aside. “We want to let you pass,” they parroted. 

 

“Impressive,” Hux complimented as they walked into the small building bracketed by warehouses. It looked like an office building, and there were ‘troopers  _ everywhere _ . “Think you could do it again?” he asked as what looked like an entire squadron of grey plated helmets turned towards them. 

 

“I might get some,” Finn said nervously, “but not all of them.” He raised his lightsaber, igniting it, while Hux charged his pistol. “Sorry, sir.”

 

Hux nodded, readying himself. “If we start losing,” he said, “get yourself out of here. That’s an order, Finn.”

 

Looking tormented, Finn nodded once and raised his lightsaber. 

 

If Hux was going down, he was going down fighting. 

  
*tbc


	5. v.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He hugged her close, one arm tight around her waist, the other cradling the back of her neck. “I know, I thought the same. It’s alright, I’m here.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _She looked up at him, eyes filled with tears. “I can’t feel the Force,” she whispered._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is especially for Song, who puts up with my ridiculousness and also reads over these whenever I finish them. As always though, the whole reason this was written is for Lex, Sera, Sasha and of course - Song. 
> 
> No Mando'a this chapter. It does however add a new tag! Force Ghosts!
> 
> This chapter can be subtitled "Let Andrea butcher the EU".
> 
> As ever, I'm at [ for all your Kylux needs.](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/)

There was a beat of silence and then the ‘trooper closest to them pulled off her helmet, holding it loosely. “You’re FN-2187,” she stated, breathless awe clinging to her tone. 

 

Finn nodded slowly. “I go by Finn, now. I haven’t been FN-2187 in over a year.” 

 

The girl, for she looked far too young to be clad in armor, took a half step forward. “You… they don’t make you fight?”

 

“No,” Finn said, lowering his lightsaber. “Nobody makes me do anything anymore.” He disengaged the blade, shoulders visibly loosening. “What’s your name?”

 

“RX-302… Um. Trigger. They… my unit… they call me Trigger.” She turned and looked at the rest of the squadron behind her, all wearing the same flat matte grey armor instead of the standard white. 

 

“Hi, Trig,” Finn said gently. 

 

There was another weighted pause, and the girl - Trigger - turned her gaze to Hux. “General,” she whispered, expression folding down, down into itself, as though expecting a blow. 

 

Judging by the way Finn was looking at his primed pistol, Hux holstered it, standing straight and coming shoulder to shoulder with Finn. “Trigger,” he greeted evenly. “I find the title of Commander suits me better, but you can call me Cian.”

 

The moment stretched, then snapped, as the sound of fifty helmets all clattered to the ground. “You’re here for the girl and her friend, aren’t you?” Trigger asked, even as her face split in a beaming smile. 

 

Relief crashed over Hux like a wave and he nodded once. “I am. Do you know their whereabouts?”

 

“I do,” she answered immediately. “The girl is down the hall to the right, at the very end. Her friend is down the hall to the left. They’re in with the Ysalamir,” she added. 

 

“Bless you,” Finn said without a trace of jest in his tone and Hux scowled at him.

 

He turned back to Trigger and asked, as courteously as he could manage with the pulse pounding desire to find Ren digging into him, “What exactly are Ysalamir?”

 

Trigger looked embarrassed, her armor clanking awkwardly. “They’re… sort of.. Lizards. They come from another planet, and the General… she brought them with her from the Inquisitor.”

 

Finn and Hux exchanged a look. “And what do they do?” Hux asked, as they moved quickly down the hall towards where Rey was being kept. 

 

Trigger shrugged, armor clanking. “We weren’t told, General, I’m sorry.”

 

Inwardly, Hux winced at his old title. It had been over a year since anyone had referred to him seriously as a General. It hadn’t been all that long ago that he’d given up on his entire life’s work, everything he’d ever dreamed up had been taken from him. The word “General” felt like tiny knives digging straight into his rib cage. 

 

They reached a heavily barred door with several crisscrossing metal bars over it. “Get these things off the door,” Hux snarled and the ‘troopers leapt to his command, pulling each bar off and tossing it to the side. As soon as the handle was revealed, Hux yanked the door open. 

 

He came face to face with a large cage where it sat on what was once an interrogation table. “Rey?” he asked, growing more concerned when she wasn’t immediately within his sight.

 

“Cian?” she asked, and he circled the table to find where she’d shoved herself into the corner of the room. There were streaks of tears on her cheeks and she unfolded from her position to launch herself into his arms. “Cian! I can’t feel Ren, or you! How? I… I thought you were dead!”

 

He hugged her close, one arm tight around her waist, the other cradling the back of her neck. “I know, I thought the same. It’s alright, I’m here.”

 

She looked up at him, eyes filled with tears. “I can’t feel the Force,” she whispered. 

 

Cian was not equipped to deal with missing space magic. “We’ll deal with that when we get out of here.” 

 

Rey nodded, tucking herself into Hux’s side, and they left the room together. The Force slammed into them both, sending Rey to the floor and Hux stumbling to one side. Rey’s familiar presence burst through his mind, as their Bond reasserted itself.

 

“What the kriff?” Hux gasped, pressing a hand to his aching temple. Finn frowned down at them before he stepped into the room. Hux watched as Finn turned ashen and sagged alarmingly. 

 

“It’s this room,” Finn said, thickly, stumbling backwards and back out into the hall. As soon as Finn reached the hall, his color returned and he gave the interrogation room a filthy look. “Something in that room is suppressing the Force.”

 

Hux flicked his eyes over the featureless room. It was empty but for the table and the lizard cage, and Rey’s dawning horror filled his mind. He looked over at her, his own surprise mirrored in her face. “Ren,” he said, full of apprehension. 

 

“We need to get him,” Rey said.

 

They ran.

 

The sound of the stormtrooper boots followed them as Hux raced for the second door. It, like the first, was covered in metal bars. “Ren!” Hux shouted, and there was a loud crash from inside the room. Several more followed as the stormtroopers began pulling the heavy bars away. As soon as the last bar was pulled off the door, they blew open, the table screeching into the hall. “Ren?” Hux asked.

 

Unlike in Rey’s room, the cage with the lizard creature was high, dangling off chains, far above Ren’s head. There was blood on the floor, puddles under where Ren was standing, and visibly dripping from his hands. 

 

Blood was smeared across his face, and his chest was heaving with large, panting breaths. “Ren?” Hux murmured. 

 

Ren snorted softly, closing his eyes. “Of course,” he said, and his voice was torn up and ground to almost nothing. “You would come back to haunt me.”

 

Hux and Rey exchanged a look. “Ren,” he said again, trying to inject some authority into his tone. “I am right here.”

 

His lip curled, showing off bloody teeth. “They killed you, Cian,” Ren murmured. “They took you away from me and they killed you.” 

 

His breath froze and stuttered in his chest, and if he were a more fanciful man he’d believe his heart had stopped. The sheer desolation in Ren’s voice was wrenching and devastating. Standing in the doorway, just outside of the effects of the room, Hux could feel Rey’s horror leaching across their raw unstructured bond. 

 

Going in would cut him off from Rey, but she nodded when he glanced at her.  

 

Taking two large steps into the room, Hux reached out and gently took Ren’s broken and bloody hands. “You’ve broken them again,” he chided softly, running his fingers over the bloody skin. 

 

Ren’s eyes snapped open. “Cian?” he breathed. 

 

Hux lifted the corner of his mouth in a smirk. “In the flesh. Come out of here,” he urged, tugging on Ren’s wrists. “It’s the room that cut you from the Force - and from me.” He led Ren out of the room, catching him when the Force caused him to sag to the ground. 

 

Their connection bloomed to life, and Hux reached out and touched it.  _ Hello,  _ he said warmly. 

 

Ren’s head came up at the words, and he slammed their mouths together. The metallic taste of blood spread out between them and Hux caught the back of Ren’s head and cradled it gently.  _ I’ve got you, _ Hux said to him, smoothing the hair back from his face.  _ It’s alright.  _

 

“We need to go,” Finn said. “I don’t hear fighting anymore.”

 

They got Ren up off the floor, and between all of them, managed to get out into the courtyard. Considering the last time Hux had been out there, it was now nearly eerily silent. Several First Order Lieutenants were on their knees in the muddy courtyard, the bodies of fallen stormtroopers littered around them. 

 

Jago stood over them, several of his men armed and ready. Hux skipped over the tableau in the center, seeking out his people. He could see Phasma first, a mighty scowl on her face. Beside her stood Tempest, his arm hanging unnaturally at his side. Blue had her arm around his waist, clearly holding him up, and there was blood stark on her face. 

 

Rage boiled through him, looking at Blue’s bleak and unhappy face. “Rey,” he said, jerking his chin at them. 

 

She nodded once, grabbing Finn’s hand and heading over to them. “What’s going on?” Ren asked, tone sharp despite his wrecked voice.

 

“We have the leaders of the First Order,” Jagonath intoned, “And I’m going to execute them for their crimes.”

 

A curl of trepidation uncurled in the center of Hux’s ribs and he took his attention from his crew to his ex-compatriots in the center of the courtyard. They’d all focused on him, some he registered, he even knew personally. “Jago,” Ren said tiredly, “You don’t have the authority to do that.”

 

Jago’s answering laugh was obnoxious. “Since when have you ever cared about authority, Ren? You’re a smuggler!”

 

Ren sighed. “Yes, Jago. And even I know that war criminals or not, if you kill them and broadcast it live, you’ll be just as wanted as them.” He gestured at the holocam. 

 

“Why?” Jago asked, his face alight. “It seems to have worked out in General Starkiller’s favor.” He smiled. “Or,” he said, a drawl that made the apprehension in his chest spiral into full bodied anxiety. “Maybe we’ll execute him too. Grab him.” 

 

Several of Jago’s men jumped on him, dragging him away from Ren. Hux shouted, twisting and fighting, he could hear Ren’s answering bellow, and Phasma’s strident tones matching his.  The four men on Hux yanked him into the center of the yard, shoving him to his knees in the middle of the First Order lieutenants. 

 

Hux shook his head, tossing his hair out of his eyes. “That was phenomenally stupid of you,” Hux said, eyes on Ren who fought like a mad thing.

 

A blaster shot flung dirt and mud into his face when Jago shot the ground in front of him. “Let your betters speak,  _ Starkiller _ ,” Jago retorted. 

 

Hux closed his mouth, shifting his feet under him and settling into a more comfortable position. “Ren, don’t kill them,” he called back. “They were friends of yours once.” He tilted his head a little, eyeing one of the First Order Lieutenants. “You may wish to brace yourself,” he told them pleasantly. 

 

Following the cue, Ren howled and the Force slammed Jago off his feet. 

 

There was a rush of wind, and then the men standing around them were gone, each in a heap on the ground, their guns sitting in a pile next to Hux.  Rey touched his shoulder, the Force dropping off from around her. “Did they hurt you?” she asked him.

 

“No, I’m fine,” Hux answered her, but he didn’t take his eyes from Ren. 

 

The Force was swirling around him like a living thing, snapping invisible tendrils at any one who got too close. He strode towards Jago, his hands still steadily dripping blood. Hux tilted his head in the direction of the holocam.  _ You may want to get that, _ he told Rey silently. 

 

Her form blurred and then she was at the holocam, reaching up to disable it. 

 

The next two minutes happened in a series of moments that Hux couldn’t quite track. The stormtroopers led by Trigger and Absconder stormed the court yard, Ren tossed Jago like a rag doll to the ground, Phasma screamed a challenge and ran towards where he knelt.

 

Half standing, Hux began to retreat, scrambling backwards; unarmed and vulnerable.

 

Jago stood, and their eyes met across a suddenly chaotic battlefield. Hux was too far away to hear, but he saw Jago’s lips move. ‘ _ Murderer’  _ his lips read, and lifted a plasma pistol.

 

Perhaps, if Hux possessed of himself the Force, he might have been able to avoid it. Instead, the plasma slammed into his belly, sending him staggering backwards with the force of the shot. He fell backwards, and everything went dark.

 

*

 

The first thing Hux became aware of was pain. It spread from his stomach, down into his thigh and up his side, a hot burning sensation that quickly ate away at his resolve to stay awake. “-ian! Cian! Open your eyes, I need you to focus on me!  _ Cian! _ ” 

 

Hux rolled his head to the side, squinting in the light and trying to focus on whoever was yelling at him. A blurry shape was filling his vision, but all he could see was dark, worried eyes. Sound bled in and out, as whoever it was spoke. “... he’s not --  _ kriff, Cian focus! _ ” 

 

He blinked once, twice, trying to get his eyes to listen to his brain’s command. “Ow,” he managed to say, and the pain swelled up as he acknowledged it. 

 

“Cian,” the voice said again, splitting his head with more jagged spikes of pain. “Cian, they need to put you in a bacta tank, I need you to--.”

 

He frowned, and the pain swelled up again, dragging him back under, as the voice trailed off into despair.

 

Before, he’d been subsumed by darkness - but this time, the darkness was cradling him, rather than smothering him. 

 

Hux opened his eyes.

 

He was standing in a field, bright sunlight overhead, the high whine of cicadas echoing around him. “Welcome,” someone said from behind him, and he whirled, hands going for a rifle that wasn’t on his shoulder. A man stood there, hands hidden in long sleeved robes. He had short, curled hair and one golden eye. “There’s no need for weaponry,” he said, with a half smile. “This is a place of peace.”

 

“Uh huh,” Hux drawled, taking a half step backwards. “And where is here, exactly?”

 

The man smiled. “Nowhere,” he answered and Hux scowled. “This place isn’t real - though it’s also real in it’s own way. This is a section of your mind, a memory, though one likely long forgotten.” 

 

Hux looked around the clearing, but didn’t recognize his surroundings. “And you are?” he asked, suspiciously. 

 

Smile widening, the man bowed slightly. “I apologize,” he said. “I am Anakin Skywalker.” 

 

The name took a second to parse, but Hux scowled as the name came to him. “Darth Vader.”

 

Anakin pulled a face, crossing his arms over his chest. “I went by that name once,” he agreed. “But I died as myself.”

 

“This…” Hux waved a hand at the calm and idyllic surroundings, “This is the Force.”

 

Inclining his head, Anakin sighed. “It is.”

 

“I’m as Force sensitive as a teaspoon,” Hux retorted. “Trust me, the First Order Academy made very certain to test every aspect of my capabilities.” 

 

Instead of surprise, Skywalker just nodded. “This is not the first time someone with a Force Bond to a strong jedi has been able to manipulate a small portion of their power. You have a very intense connection with my grandson. And you will soon have a similar one with Snoke’s daughter.”

 

Hux grit his teeth in a snarl. “Her name is Rey!”

 

“So it is.” Skywalker smirked. “Are you truly going to focus on that part of what I said?”

 

Hux narrowed his eyes. “I have been able to use and manipulate the two Bonds I have with ease,” he retorted. “I assumed the ability came from them.”

 

“It does,” Anakin answered. “And it also has allowed for you to see me, and speak to me in this way, while you heal in the bacta tank.”

 

That brought a flash of remembered pain along his stomach and side and Hux flinched. “Bacta tank,” he repeated. “I remember someone telling me that.” 

 

Anakin nodded. “Yes, you are rather injured. We were watching the battle, you took an entire plasma bolt straight to the chest.”

 

“We?” Hux asked with no small measure of alarm. 

 

Smiling, Anakin only shook his head. “The other Ghosts and I. The Skywalker family has a long and privileged history of losing every single person they’ve ever loved. You came perilously close to continuing that tradition for Ben.”

 

“Except that I was gotten to a bacta tank in time,” Hux retorted. “Why are we here, Skywalker?” he asked sharply. 

 

“Perhaps I wished to get your measure,” the ghost replied. “My grandson is quite taken with you. As is my son, and my wife thinks you’re good for them. You are held in high regard, so I decided it was high time we actually spoke.”

 

Hux blinked slowly. “You’re serious,” he said in disbelief. 

 

Skywalker grinned. “We have limited time, Cian Hux. I have gotten your measure - suspicious as it is - and I believe that you are integral to my grandson’s survival. So listen to me, before they pull you out of the bacta tank.”

 

Now that he’d said it, Hux could feel the first stirrings of consciousness around him, the way that the sun seemed dimmer, and the grass dull and lifeless. “What is it?”

 

“Not all ghosts are your friends,” Skywalker said urgently. “You must warn--”

 

Darkness.

 

*

 

Hux inhaled sharply, coughing out stale air and the medicated taste of the tube he’d had inserted while in the bacta tank. His breathing felt a little ragged and his chest was sore and aching, but the all encompassing pain he’d felt before going under had faded until almost nothing. “Cian?” a small voice said from his side. 

 

He opened his eyes, blinking a few times to clear his gaze of tears before he could really focus. The world started out as blurry smears of color before they managed to lock on Ren’s terrified and pale face. “Ren,” Hux murmured. 

 

Ren’s entire body seemed to collapse inward and he slumped forward, leaning his head on Hux’s bed. “You scared the life out of me,” Ren murmured. 

 

“Sorry,” Hux whispered back, throat feeling raw and sore. 

 

Leaning over him Ren reached over Hux’s bound up chest and got a cup of water, letting him sip it slowly. “It’s been three days,” Ren said quietly, leaning his head carefully against Hux’s hip. “We’re still on Lothal for now. Mom’s here.”

 

“Leia is here?” Hux rasped out with some alarm. “What happened?”

 

“Jago tried to kill you,” Ren growled darkly, his eyes flashing a familiar golden brown. “And everyone else - First Order, stormtrooper. Even the ones who helped you, his men attacked them. Mom placed his entire company under arrest.”

 

Hux felt as weak as a kitten, but he lifted one hand to drop it on top of Ren’s head. “I’m alright,” he sighed, burying his fingers into the riotous mass of dark hair. “How’re the others?” 

 

“Tempest broke his shoulder in three places,” Ren reported, leaning his head into Hux’s hand. “He spent a day in a bacta tank too. Blue had a broken nose and is missing a tooth but she’s fine otherwise. Phasma is unhurt, Rey helped me heal my hands, so we’re both fine. Finn and Poe are organizing the Stormtroopers, and trying to figure out how to get them to Yavin-4 safely. Mom and Uncle Luke are in negotiations using your template with the Governor of this colony.”

 

Hux nodded, relief spilling through him.  _ And you’re certain you’re fine? _ He asked, reaching out to touch their Bond. Three days in the tank had helped heal the raw new feeling that had invaded after their forced break from each other and Hux was pleased to note that it no longer took effort to use again.

 

Ren smiled, lips curling up on one side. “Yes. Rey and I were pretty shaken up, but Uncle Luke helped us get our minds back on track.” 

 

Nodding again, Hux moved his fingers through Ren’s hair.  _ What happened?  _ He wondered.  _ You were just… gone. _

 

“It was the lizards,” Ren said with all seriousness. “The Ysalamir, they generate a Force-neutral bubble, anything within it is cut off from the Force.

 

Hux’s eyebrows raised incredulously.  _ What. _

 

“That’s what I said,” Ren agreed. “Apparently it’s hard to keep them alive off their home planet so I have no idea why the Order has them or when they started using them. But they’ve tipped their hand, so we’ll be expecting them from now on.”

 

_ They fear you _ , Hux said with positivity.  _ You have frightened them.  _

 

Ren just smiled, leaning down and kissing Hux gently. “Maybe,” he said, sounding unconvinced. “You should sleep more, the bacta tank doesn’t really afford true rest.” He paused, a shadow of apprehension skating over his face before disappearing. “Love you,” he offered.

 

_ Love you _ , Hux echoed, finding the words easier to say inside the privacy of their own minds.  _ Wake me in a few hours?  _

 

_ Of course _ , Ren responded, before he stood slowly and headed towards the door. 

 

After it slid closed behind him, Hux frowned, thinking back over the last three days. He had the sinking feeling he was forgetting something.

 

Perhaps Ren was right, and a nap would do him a world of good. Things would be clearer in the morning.

 

*tbc


	6. vi.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hux scowled, staring down at his bandaged covered chest. “When do I get to leave?” he asked instead of all the other questions that filled his head._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Not just yet, Commander Hux,” an unknown voice answered, and a doctor strode into the room, eyes on a datapad. “I’m aware of your penchant for ignoring medical attention, your partner informed me of your history. Therefore, until you are fully healed, you will be confined to this room.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday, my darlings <3
> 
> This chapter is dedicated as usual, to Sasha, Song, Lex, Sera and everyone else still with me after the first fic. It is especially for Song, who convinced me that a chapter full of dialogue and talking isn't "boring as fuck all". Have some amusement, have some conversation, have a ~~cliffhanger~~ chapter. 
> 
> No Mando'a for now. Don't worry, the Ordo clan will be back!
> 
> As ever, I can be found [on tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/) for all your Kylux needs.

When Hux next opened his eyes, Luke Skywalker was sitting by his bedside. Squinting against the light behind him, Hux managed to turn his head to gaze over at him. “Skywalker?” he murmured.

 

“Back to that, are we?” Luke asked, amused. “Before you left for planets unknown, you actually were calling me by my name - a novel thing, that.”

 

It took too much energy to roll his eyes so he settled for making a face, giving Luke a flat, unimpressed look. “Hello,  _ Luke _ ,” he said with dry emphasis on his name. “So nice to see you.”

 

“Seems as though you may be lucky to be seeing me at all,” Luke commented. “Ren was very concerned.”

 

Hux sighed. “An accident, I assure you.” He glanced down at his torso, eyes tracking the smears of bacta gel and bandages. 

 

Luke snorted, turning slightly in his chair so he was facing Hux in the bed. “How are you feeling, Cian?” he asked, but he didn’t seem to be asking about the wounds. 

 

Shrugging carefully, Hux reached over and pressed the button to lever the bed up a few inches in order to sit up. “As well as can be expected,” he said. “There was a frankly rather frightening moment where I was certain that both Rey and Ren had been killed when we were separated.”

 

Understand lit Luke’s worn features. “Ah yes, the Ysalamir,” he said. “I’ve heard of them.” He looked contemplative for a moment so Hux just waited him out, resting back against the bed. “Ren’s current theory is that what was left of the First Order found these creatures in order to combat his power, as well as Rey and Finn. Finn, on the other hand, believes they’re being utilized to weed out ‘troopers who are Force sensitive and eliminate them before they could rebel as he did.”

 

Hux raised an eyebrow. “And your theory?” He asked leadingly. When Luke only pulled an exaggerated face, Hux flicked his fingers at him. “You’ve mentioned Ren’s theory, and Finn’s. You clearly do not share their concerns or ideas. Do tell.”

 

Sighing, Luke scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I believe that Finn may have a point, but I don’t believe that was the sole reason for the Ysalamir’s introduction into the Order.” He tapped the fingers of his free hand on Hux’s mattress. “I believe…” he said slowly, “that we’re still missing a piece of the puzzle.”

 

“Oh?” Hux asked, feeling alarm wind its way around his spine.

 

“Indeed,” Luke said seriously. “There is much we don’t know about the Order’s movements or business. They’ve lost two major battles now, but our ability to predict their actions lessens each time we succeed against them.”

 

Hux chewed on the inside of his lip thoughtfully, turning Luke’s words over in his mind. “You’re probably right,” he admitted. “Any information I may have is outdated, and the ‘troopers won’t have anything of note or importance. Phasma was frozen out long before she defected, and without Snoke to choose predictable avenues of attack, we’re relying on humans and human error.”

 

Luke nodded. “Yes. What we know is this: the Order now has access to Ysalamir. They have at least two, but it is a likely theory that they have more. Two were here on Lothal, but we don’t know why. Many of the First Order’s fleet was here, but a recent manifest leaves us with several epsilon class Star Destroyers out in the galaxy.”

 

The alarm in his spine wrapped even tighter, the tension causing his wounds to ache. “Which ones?” Hux asked sharply. 

 

“I don’t remember all of them,” Luke admitted freely. “I can recall three. The Kestral, The Alacrity, and the Zephyr.”

 

Hux made a face. “Those are all older models. Sent on long range exploration,” he said. “I remember the day the Kestral left Arkanis, I was still a boy at the Academy.”

 

Luke hmmed quietly, fingers still tapping absently on the mattress. “There… I do have a theory,” he admitted finally. “May I?” he gestured a little awkwardly to Hux’s temple.  Inclining his head, Hux nodded his permission, understand the need for secrecy and silence.

 

_ I apologize, _ Luke said, his voice - slightly too loud - filling Hux’s mind.  _ I don’t have as much practice at this method of communication as my padawans do.  _

 

When Hux reached out to try and respond, he found the connection sluggish at best, and he made a face. It was like trying to talk through jelly, but he managed to say:  _ And what is it that requires so much secrecy? _

 

There was a pause, weighted and heavy with something that tasted like fear.  _ I believe we have a spy, _ Luke said. 

 

Hux’s heart sank straight through his ribs to land somewhere around his feet. His limbs went cold with shock and he inhaled raggedly trying to get his emotions back under control.  _ It’s not one of mine, _ he snapped immediately.  _ Blue wouldn’t. Tempest wouldn’t.  _ Finn  _ wouldn’t. _

 

Luke held up a placating hand.  _ No, I don’t believe it was any of your crew, nor do I believe it was a stormtrooper at all. That would be too simple, too obvious. If there is a spy, it’s someone who we wouldn’t suspect, especially during this time. Easy to blame the stormtroopers, they’re brainwashed from birth, easy to blame you. _

 

Hux breathed through that for a second, turning the concept over in his mind.  _ So it’s someone who is not already affiliated with the Order, _ he said. The idea seemed alien to his mind, the thought that anyone entrenched within the New Republic could go over to the Order’s side, especially as they were so clearly losing.

 

_ Yes, that’s what I think, _ Luke answered him.  _ But there’s no way to currently tell who it is, unless Ren is the one who does a mental check of every single person who works with the New Republic. _

 

That wasn’t likely to happen. Even if Ren would submit to doing such a thing, reading people’s minds was a taxing ability he preferred not use unless pressed. Not only that, but finding and checking every New Republic member would take literal years.  _ Say all this is true, _ Hux said slowly,  _ that there is a spy. Why now? Because we’re winning? _

 

Luke hesitated then shook his head.  _ No, these are not the actions of a desperate person fighting on the losing side of a war.  _

 

Hux thought that over for a second before nodding in agreement.  _ Then what?  _ He wondered.

 

There was another pause, as Luke hesitated again.  _ I believe…  _ he said slowly, the thoughts very quiet,  _ that these events are in direct response to Ren’s return to the New Republic. _

 

“What?” Hux asked, startled out of their mental link, as shock filled him.  When Luke only nodded, face grave, Hux reached back out to reconnect.  _ You cannot be serious _ , he hissed.

 

_ Yes, _ Luke said.  _ I am old, Cian, and I know my place and my abilities. I may be credited as being the last Jedi, but I am not the most powerful Force sensitive. That title belongs to Ren. _

 

Thinking about it now, Luke’s words made sense. Snoke had massacred an entire planet’s worth of jedi students simply to get to Ben Organa-Solo. He had then sacrificed the entire Knights of Ren simply to get to him again. And instead of killing Ren once he’d gotten his hands on him, Snoke had brainwashed him and kidnapped him. 

 

_ But Ren isn’t a Jedi, _ Hux murmured. 

 

_ He is, _ Luke said, with a bit of amusement.  _ He simply isn’t a lightside jedi. Nor is he a dark sith. He’s somewhere in the middle. There haven’t been many of those, not in many years. The last person I knew who could claim to be both light side and dark side was a woman from many years ago.  They don’t prescribe to the same ideals as we do. _

 

Hux made a considering noise.  _ What ideals?  _  He wondered.

 

Luke tilted his head to the side, thinking.  _ There is passion, yet emotion _ , he said slowly.  _ Serenity, yet peace. Chaos, yet Order. There is no dark, there is no light, there is only the Force.  _

 

Hux could feel the weight of the Force behind the words, and upon reflection, the code did fit Ren nearly perfectly.  _ That is… fitting, yes.  _

 

Smiling a little, Luke rubbed his forehead.  _ If Ren had not rejoined the Republic, then many Force powers would be lost. I am the last Jedi, and Rey will follow my footsteps, as Finn will follow hers. But Ren has taught them just as much as I have, and he knows things I never learned and struggle with even now. Without Ren, we would not be the united force of Jedi we are today. Whoever this spy is, whatever he or she warned about, they were right to be worried.  _ Luke gave Hux a considering look.  _ I am just as certain, _ he continued,  _ that your arrival here and subsequent defection caused some serious concern as well.  _

 

Hux simply raised an eyebrow.  _ What makes you say that? _

 

_ Easy,  _ Luke replied.  _ You were the most effective General the First Order had ever seen.  _

 

A small glow of pleasure lit itself under Hux’s sternum and he blinked at Luke in surprise.  _ Thank you?  _ He replied, half a question.

 

Luke smiled, tilting his head to gaze at Hux.  _ I know that you are concerned over the possibility of a Galactic Senate reconvening and asking for your head.  _ Hux’s answering smile fell away at that he looked away.  _ You’re not wrong to be worried,  _ Luke admitted.  _ We’ve… heard a few things.  _

 

Apprehension coiled around the alarm and Hux cleared his throat.  _ How much time to do I have? _ He asked.

 

Looking fond, Luke reached out and touched Hux’s hand.  _ Relax, Cian. We’ll delay them as long as we can. _

 

“That’s not an answer,” Hux bit out, cutting their connection ruthlessly. 

 

“No it isn’t,” Luke answered. “But right now it’s the only one I’ve got.”

 

Hux scowled, staring down at his bandaged covered chest. “When do I get to leave?” he asked instead of all the other questions that filled his head. 

 

“Not just yet, Commander Hux,” an unknown voice answered, and a doctor strode into the room, eyes on a datapad. “I’m aware of your penchant for ignoring medical attention, your partner informed me of your history. Therefore, until you are fully healed, you will be confined to this room.”

 

Hux’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Confined?” he asked, low and angry.

 

The doctor blanched, taking a half step backwards, holding the datapad tightly as though to fend Hux off. “Captain Ren and General Organa made it very clear that you were to stay in this bed until you were medically cleared,” he said rapidly and defensive. 

 

Arranging his face into something slightly more pleasant, Hux smiled and tilted his head to one side. “And what makes you think that as soon as I can move out of this bed, I won’t simply leave?” The doctor took another step backwards and Hux let the smile grow teeth. 

 

“This is why,” Luke said, and reached into a pocket of his robes, depositing something on Hux’s lap. 

 

He looked down, expression fading, as SR-3 beeped and came online. [ _ Friend-Cian!]  _ she shrieked, rolling around on his lap, arms akimbo.  _ [You’re  _ hurt! _ ] _

 

“You son of a bantha,” Hux said meditatively, even as he stroked the side of SR-3’s casing. 

 

Luke just grinned. “I thought for sure I wasn’t going to need to do it, until the doctor came in. You can blame Ren, if you need to blame anyone.” 

 

Hux scowled.  _ [Friend-Cian must take better care of himself,]  _ SR-3 scolded gently.  _ [Friend-Ben worries, and if Friend-Ben worries, I will worry.] _

 

“Whoever taught you to manipulate should be shot,” Hux grumbled. “I assume it was Ren.”

 

SR-3 rolled around on his lap, her high pitch beeps clearly laughter.  _ [Friend-Ben didn’t need to teach me,]  _ she said brightly.  _ [I learned from Friend-HK.] _

 

“Of course you did,” Hux muttered. 

 

The doctor cleared his throat, looking down in fascination at the tiny astromech droid rolling around in Hux’s lap. “Well, if it gets you to stay in bed until your side finishes healing, I’ll inform the other doctors to leave it be.”

 

“ _ Her _ ,” Luke and Hux chorused. 

 

Looking confused rather than chastened, the doctor just continued looking over his datapad. “Your side  _ is _ healing rapidly, Commander, but you lost some muscle mass in the bacta tank, we’re simply avoiding you tearing the new skin and muscle that we synthesized for you. If you strain the new skin too much, you may tear it irreparably.”

 

Sighing, Hux relaxed back in the bed. “Fine,” he bit out. “But you will tell me the instant I can leave this room and return to my ship.”

 

Relieved, the doctor nodded and hurriedly left the room. Hux let SR-3 loop her tiny arms around his thumbs, cradling her lower chassis in his fingers. “How is Ren?” he asked her softly.

 

_ [Afraid,]  _ SR-3 said sadly.  _ [He does not know what to do.] _

 

Hux frowned. “About what? I’m fine, or I will be soon.”

 

_ [Ally-Jagonath was his friend. They’ve worked together many years. But he attempted to take the law into his own hands, and he tried to kill a lot of people including stormtroopers and people who had already surrendered. And you, which hurts Friend-Ben even more.]  _ SR-3’s head dropped sadly.  _ [So he doesn’t know what to do.] _

 

Chewing his lip again, Hux nodded. “Do you know where Ren is now?” he asked Luke. 

 

“I think he’s in a meeting with his mother, and the current governor,” Luke answered thoughtfully. 

 

Hux reached out and touched the connection to Ren inside his head, running mental hands over the bond to get Ren’s attention. Not even a second later, his presence filled Hux’s head.  _ Cian, _ he said warmly.  _ I’m glad you’re awake. _

 

_ Awake, and ready to go home _ , Hux admitted in the privacy of his mind.  _ I now fully understand your reticence to stay in the medical unit of Nar Shaddaa all that time ago.  _

 

_ Uncle Luke gave you SR-3?  _ Ren asked, sounding amused.

 

_ Luke gave me SR-3 _ , Hux grumbled. There was a pause, where Hux got the impression Ren had been taken to task for not paying attention.  _ I’ll leave you to it, _ he said, before Ren could make excuses.  _ Come visit me after? _

 

_ Always _ , Ren replied and his presence faded from Hux’s mind. 

 

He refocused to find Luke gazing at him with amused fondness. “What?” he asked defensively.

 

“Oh nothing,” Luke said, though he sounded insincere. “Nothing at all.” He stood up, back audibly cracking. “I’ll let you rest. I’m sure the more you sleep, the faster the bacta gel will work. I’ll find out what I can about what we spoke about earlier. SR-3, always a pleasure.”

 

SR-3 unwound an arm to wave it at Luke.  _ [Goodbye, Friend-Uncle! Thank you for transporting me so carefully.] _

 

Luke nodded and disappeared through the door, and Hux could hear him speak to someone in the hall in low tones, before even that faded. Lowering the bed so he laid flat, Hux gently rolled SR into the hollow between his forearm and his side, curling one hand around her chassis to give her support.  _ [Friend-Cian?]  _ she asked in low beeps, quietly enough that he had to strain to hear her over the medical beeps of the machinery around him.

 

“Yes, SR?” he responded, keeping his tone low in deference to her own.

 

_ [I’m afraid.] _

 

“Don’t be, little darling,” Hux said, rubbing his thumb against her communication port. “I’ll protect you.”

 

She shook her head, pressing closer.  _ [Not afraid for me, Friend-Cian. Afraid for Friend-Ben. Afraid for you.] _

 

He glanced down at her, hardly able to see her eyelight over the blankets and the swell of his bandaged chest. “Ren will protect me, and I will protect him,” he told her gently. “We will survive this.”

 

She hesitated, her eyelight disappearing under the blankets for a second or two before she slowly lifted her head again.  _ [Did you really blow up Designation: Hosnian System?] _

 

His breath stuttered in his chest. “Who told you about that?” Hux asked hoarsely.

 

Her eyelight went flat.  _ [Friend-Cian, I am a  _ communication  _ droid.] _

 

“Yes, fine, that was a stupid question.” He sighed, staring at the ceiling. “The answer is yes.” If he hadn’t been holding her still and steady against the side of his body, he wouldn’t have felt the fine tremble that ran through her chassis. 

 

_ [Why?]  _ SR-3 asked, and there was a wealth of hesitance in her tone. 

 

“There are a lot of answers to that question, little darling,” he said. “I was under orders. I thought it would win this war before it could truly start. I wanted to avoid fighting and battles and… messiness. I didn’t want there to be any more chaos.”

 

There was a slight pause and then SR-3 said, incredulous,  _ [So you blew up seven planets?!] _

 

“I didn’t say it was the smart plan,” Hux snapped, annoyed and stung. “I’m a monster, SR. I know it already. But even monsters can change.”

 

Another tremble ran through her and one of her arms wrapped around his wrist, holding tightly.  _ [I don’t think you’re a monster, Friend-Cian.] _

 

Hux nodded, throat tight. Now more than ever, he knew his path would lead him away from the New Republic - there was no escaping what he’d done, and monster or not; Hux wanted to live. Even if he had to do it alone.

 

With nothing better to do, Hux dozed, curled as best he could around SR-3’s tiny form. It hurt to lay on his side, which made his ability to sleep slightly difficult. He managed to find a comfortable position eventually, letting the word drift in and out. 

 

He slept for some time, as the next time he woke, he felt groggy and exhausted despite having just woken up, and his stomach reminded him loudly that he hadn’t eaten in almost a full galactic day. The commotion that woke him was a series of loud voices from a different part of the medical unit, shouting and a crash that made him tense up. “SR,” he hissed, feeling her come awake against his side. “Get under the bed,” he ordered.

 

She beeped a quiet affirmative, hooking one of her arms into bed frame and swinging down under the cot. Hux pressed the button the side of the bed and sat up as much as his ribs and side would allow. He took quick stock of his surroundings, and judged it to be either very late evening or very early morning, despite having no windows or clocks in the room. 

 

He was hungry enough that he must have missed both lunch and dinner, and sure enough on the tray next to his bed sat two different meals, as well as a leather tie, clearly Ren’s. He must have came by after he’d been done with his meeting and found Hux asleep again. He reached out and pulled it off the cart, wrapping it around his own wrist and using his teeth to tighten the knot.

 

Hux could only hear snatches of the shouted conversation but he doubted that whoever they were wasn’t here for him. Bereft of weaponry, or the ability to stand with any strength, Hux simply had to brace himself for the arrest that was certain to come.

 

“... is  _ sleeping _ !” The doctors familiar voice rang up the hallway. “I will …. Have you disturb him!”

 

There was no response to the doctor, and Hux tensed further as the door to his room chimed with the unlock code. He curled his hands into fists, ready and waiting. 

 

_ [Friend-Cian?]  _ SR-3 asked, terror clear in her dualtone beeps. 

 

The door slid open and a finger strode through, back lit from the hall and indistinguishable in the dim lighting and shadows. “Sir, I must protest, my patient is sleeping and he is in a very delicate state of healing, I will not have you disturbing him!” The doctor ducked around the figure, standing in front of him, hands on his hips.

 

“He seems to be awake,” a coldly familiar voice said. 

 

The doctor turned to look at Hux, eyes jumping from his face to his wounds, as Hux breathed through the ragged panic. “Are you in pain?” the doctor asked sharply. Hux could only shake his head - his side didn’t hurt, he couldn’t feel anything through the raw pulsating anxiety flooding his system. “Sir, do not make me call…”

 

“Call whom, exactly?” was the frighteningly familiar drawl. “I am the authorities. Move aside.”

 

“It’s alright,” Hux managed to say through a throat tight with despair. “I know him.”

 

The doctor turned back around to look suspiciously at him, clearly reading the lines of anxiety and distress in Hux’s features. “Are you sure?” 

 

Hux nodded once, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “I’m certain, thank you,” he said. The doctor met his eyes for the first time since their small altercation that morning, and Hux wished with all his heart for even the inkling of the Force to tell the man to get Ren.

 

“As you wish,” the doctor murmured. “I’ll be back to check your vitals in a half hour,” he warned and disappeared out the door. Out of the corner of his eye, Hux saw SR-3 dart after him. He reached out to touch the connection to Ren in his head, but found the link dormant, Ren was sleeping.

 

He was on his own.

 

“Nothing to say to me, boy?” 

 

Hux inhaled slowly, filling his lungs to capacity, and holding it for a count of five. “Hello Father,” he said, and exhaled.

 

*tbc 


	7. vii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hux tightened his fingers in the blankets at his side, staring through the darkness at the imposing form of his father. “Is that all you have to say to me?” Brendol Hux Sr. said sharply. “Hello? After you shamed your entire family, shamed me?”_
> 
> _Taking another deep breath, Hux held it for a count of seven, and exhaled for another count of seven. “Shamed you?” he repeated when the scream building in his chest died. “Shamed- How exactly did I shame you, Father?” he demanded._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is, as always for Lex, Sasha, Song, and Sera. Especially for Song who puts up with my incredible ridiculousness when it comes to writing. Also for Emily, though she knows it not, because I write most of this while talking to her.
> 
> No Mando'a today. 
> 
> Yes, Hux's father refers to Cian as "Armitage" several times in this chapter. Because I created the name Cian before the official name drop, I decided to incorporate Hux's actually canon name as his middle name. This was done for a few reasons, one, that Armitage (despite my disinclination towards it) is his real name. And two, because several people stated that they don't like the made up names, and prefer the canon name. I hope I have managed to do both, here.
> 
> There's some very slight reference to past child abuse, especially in Hux's reactions. Please be warned. 
> 
> As ever, I can be found at [ tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/) for comments, criticism and all your Kylux needs.

Vii.

 

Hux tightened his fingers in the blankets at his side, staring through the darkness at the imposing form of his father. “Is that all you have to say to me?” Brendol Hux Sr. said sharply. “ _ Hello _ ? After you shamed your entire family, shamed  _ me _ ?” 

 

Taking another deep breath, Hux held it for a count of seven, and exhaled for another count of seven. “Shamed you?” he repeated when the scream building in his chest died. “Shamed- How exactly did I shame you, Father?” he demanded.

 

“You were a General!” Hux Sr. thundered. “And now you are disgraced. Do you know the amount of trouble you’re in, Armitage?!”

 

Hux flinched, scowling. “My name is Cian,” he ground out. “You let mother give me the name, at least use it.”

 

“And that’s all you have to say for yourself?” his father snarled, coming a step closer.

 

Squaring his shoulders, Hux shook his head. “Frankly father, I couldn’t care less about what you think, especially about what I did. If you even had a scrap of decency or affection for your family you’d know what happened to me was no choice of mine.” 

 

“Yet, here you are,” Hux Sr said. “Injured in the line of duty, but not for the First Order in which you were raised, no, for the New Republic.” He slammed his hands down on the edge of the bed, leaning in close to Hux. 

 

Hux leaned in just as close. “I was betrayed!” he snarled back, chest and stomach pulling harshly. “I did everything the Order asked for! I designed the base, I worked with Revan, I gave the orders! It was Revan that lost us the map to Skywalker, it was Revan who refused to follow my lead, it was Revan who caused us to fail, it was Revan who lost to Rey and Finn, and it was Revan who turned on me!” He shifted sitting up and leaning further into his father’s space. “I did everything,  _ everything _ , that you ever asked for. Just as I did everything Snoke asked for.” 

 

Brendol Hux Sr. snorted derisively. “You were always a lazy boy, I don’t know why I expected your tenure as a general to be any different.”

 

"Lazy--?!" His limbs flooded with ice, and Hux tried to take a deep breath, tried to hold it, but rage gripped him around the throat. “Revan Ren and her sadistic Knights took apart my mind,” he ground out through a tightly clenched jaw. “They ripped my head into tatters, and would have killed me if Snoke had not stopped them. They doled out a punishment that was rightfully their own, and instead of finding out the truth, Snoke violated my mind and stole from me.” He took another heaving breath. “They left me bleeding, broken and nearly dead. I escaped them,” he said, a tight, angry smile splitting his mouth. 

 

“You escaped the Knights of Ren?” The former Commandant scoffed, visibly disbelieving. 

 

Hux barked a harsh, unhappy laugh. “I killed them all, Father,” he said, with little to no inflection. “They stalked me across the galaxy so I turned around and killed them all. I would have been content with that,” he added. “But Snoke ruined that too - he ruined everything he touched. So I killed him too. You think I joined the Republic because I had a change of heart and mind? Hardly. The Republic was the only recourse I had left to me.” He tilted his chin up, just slightly, to look down his nose at his father’s face. “But you’d know, wouldn’t you? You abandoned them at the first sign of a sinking ship, and now here you are, in a New Republic sanctioned medical facility, and no one arresting you. Do not speak to me of betrayal, when you are guilty of the same crime.”

 

The hostile snarl on Hux Sr.’s face faded away, replaced by something that almost looked like satisfaction. “Well,” he said, sounding almost thoughtful. “It seems your stint in exile has taught you something after all.”

 

Hux narrowed his eyes, unwilling and unable to believe that was the end of the discussion. “Exile taught me many things,” he agreed slowly. 

 

“And if I could end your exile?” his father offered, leadingly. 

 

Taking another deep breath, Hux leaned back as his chest began to scream at him that he’d moved too much for his healing skin. “No thank you,” he said politely, with an undercurrent of venom. “I don’t believe you could offer me anything I could want.”

 

Brendol Hux laughed, but it wasn’t amused; instead, his father sounded sharp and disappointed again. “You know as well as I do that as soon as your usefulness has been outweighed by your crimes, you will be thrown before the Galactic Senate and put to death.”

 

A cold chill crept up Hux’s spine, stiffening his posture. “I’m aware of the political climate,” Hux bit out.

 

“Then you’re equally as aware that I was approached for a position on it.” Hux nodded once. “I will tell you this now, son, if you do not do the things I ask of you, I will make doubly certain that your position in the senate is a precarious one.”

 

Suddenly exhausted, Hux leaned back against the pillows, crossing his arms over his chest to hide the fact that his hands had started to shake. “Why am I your enemy?” he asked tiredly. “Why have you always made it your point and purpose to undermine and belittle me?” 

 

His father looked surprised at the question. “I am your father, Armitage,” he said severely. “I will not coddle you.”

 

“My name is Cian,” he said for the thousandth time. “Your being my father has never stopped you from attempting to ruin my life. I nearly killed myself trying to make you proud, for so many years. I did it too, I became the youngest general the First Order had ever seen.”

 

Hux Sr. narrowed his eyes, watching Hux closely. “And then you destroyed them.”

 

Uttering a soft laugh, Hux only shook his head. “No, father,” he denied quietly. “They destroyed themselves. I only helped them along.”

 

“You will face a trial,” his father said. 

 

But Hux just shook his head again. “No,” he said. “I won’t.”

 

Just behind his father’s left shoulder, he saw the door to his hospital room slide open on silent hinges. Hux flicked a glance there, meeting Ren’s cold, dark eyes, and he smiled, more relieved that he could say. His father turned, either from Hux’s sudden relaxation, or the feeling of impending doom over his shoulder, Hux didn’t know. “Who the pfassk are you?” Brendol Hux asked, reaching for the vibroblade at his hip.

 

“Father,” Hux said cordially. “Allow me to introduce Captain Ren, otherwise known as Ben Organa-Solo. He is both my partner, and the jedi that helped me destroy the Knights of Ren.”

 

Ren’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “And his husband,” he growled. 

 

Hux’s eyebrows arched high, giving Ren a loaded look from behind his father’s back.  _ Husband, Ren _ ? He asked incredulously.  _ That’s taking it a bit far, isn’t it? _

 

_ Is it?  _ Ren said back, and Hux was struck momentarily mute. “Husband?” parroted Brendol Hux, looking between them quickly.

 

“You’re not allowed in here,” Ren said, instead of responding to the question. “Cian is meant to be resting, it’s the middle of the night cycle, and I’m very certain you’re not on the invited guest list.” His eyes narrowed further, and he made a strange, fluid hand gesture. “You want to leave your son be, and go back to your ship.”

 

Hux Sr.’s face evened out from the annoyed confusion he’d been displaying to a perfect blankness. “I want to leave my son be, and go back to my ship,” he said pleasantly, and straightened from his position at the foot of the bed before walking by Ren with no hostility whatsoever, and leaving the room. 

 

Ren reached out and hit the button to close the door, locking it securely from the inside. “How did you know?” Hux asked him. “I tried our bond, but you were asleep.”

 

Ren reached into his pocket, pulling out SR-3 who came out of sleep mode as soon as she was deposited back on the bed.  _ [Friend-Cian! You looked so distressed, I went to find Friend-Ben. I knew he could help!] _

 

“She woke me up,” Ren said. “And once I listened in and figured out who you were talking to, I thought distracting you by using our connection would only made it harder on you.”

 

Making a face, Hux nodded. “Likely true,” he admitted. “One has always needed their full working faculties to speak to my father.”

 

Ren leaned in and kissed him gently, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m sorry it took so long,” he said. 

 

“No, it’s fine, you had rather good timing, in fact.”  Hux looked over at the door for long moments, not quite trusting its lock. “Much more of that and I think there would have been a corpse in here come morning, and I’m not actually certain to whom it would belong, either.”

 

Paling dramatically, Ren reached out for Hux’s wrists, holding tightly. “Don’t even say that,” he demanded. 

 

Hux smiled up, at him, trying to contain the grimace he wanted to make. “Don’t worry so, Ren,” he said as lightly as he was able. “I have no plans on dying any time in the future.”

 

Pulling a face, Ren just sighed. “This latest stint to the medical unit doesn’t exactly prove that to be true,” he said pointedly. 

 

Flicking Ren’s fingers, Hux scoffed. “Oh, I do apologize. Who was it exactly that got impaled by a lightsaber twice, lost his memory and then managed to knock himself out trying to return it?” He grinned at Ren’s scowl. “Certainly couldn’t have been  _ you _ ,” he drawled.

 

SR-3 rolled around on his lap.  _ [But it  _ was  _ Friend-Ben, Friend-Cian!]  _

 

Ren affected a hurt look, dropping into the chair beside Hux’s bedside. “Betrayal!” he cried, as Hux chuckled. 

 

“You’re going to get us in trouble,” Hux said mildly, glancing at the door. “I’m not entirely certain of the time, but I gather that it’s quite late in the night cycle. It’s likely that the doctor will return shortly and evict you.”

 

Curling his fingers around Hux’s, Ren shook his head stubbornly. “I am never leaving you again.”

 

Pushing down the warm feeling that Ren’s words inspired, Hux just shook his head. He linked their fingers together, Hux smiled a little. “As nice as that sentiment is…” he started to say but Ren reached across his body to cover Hux’s mouth with his free hand. “Mmph?”

 

“No,” Ren said gently. “I won’t leave you.”

 

“Well you will have to, Captain,” the doctors strident tones said as the door opened. “It’s very late and my patient has already been disrupted enough for one evening.”

 

When Ren looked like he was going to argue, Hux squeezed his fingers before pulling away. “Can he not stay while I sleep?” he asked, tilting his head down and looking at the doctor from beneath his lashes. “My father will not return as long as the good Captain is here.”

 

“ _ That  _ was your father?” the doctor repeated incredulously. “I’ll make doubly sure to keep him off the visitors list.”

 

“Take it up with my mother, if you must,” Ren said. “You can’t miss her.”

 

The doctor nodded, looking over the consoles around Hux. “Your vitals seem stable, despite your rude awakening,” he commented. “And your skin doesn’t seem to have ripped. Alright, Captain Ren may stay - as long as you adhere to the rules of this hospital and you don’t disrupt this patient - or any others. Clear?”

 

“Clear,” Ren promised, smiling. 

 

“Good,” the doctor said. “I suggest you both get some sleep.”

 

As soon as he’d closed the door behind him, Hux looked down at the bed and moved over to the edge. “Well?” he said impatiently when all Ren did was watch him. “Get in.”

 

Slowly, as though afraid to injure him, Ren climbed into the bed, curling into Hux’s good side. It took some shifting, as Hux attempted to cover them both with the thin blanket he’d been given, and after a few moments, they managed a comfortable position.

 

Ren turned so he could drape his arm low over Hux’s stomach, digging his chin into Hux’s uninjured shoulder. “So,” Hux murmured, leaning his temple on the top of Ren’s head. “Husband?”

 

Because of how close Ren’s face was to his skin, he could feel the other man blush. “It was spur of the moment?” Ren said, tone lifted in an embarrassed question. 

 

Hux snorted, blinking up at the dim ceiling. “Was it?” he asked, amused. “Seemed to come out of you without hesitation.”

 

Ren leaned up on one elbow, hovering over Hux and staring down at him, dark eyes imploring. “Is the idea so bad?” he asked, biting his lip nervously.

 

Recognizing that the time for teasing would be later, Hux just shook his head. “No, Ren. The idea isn’t bad at all,” he murmured, using his good arm to pull Ren in for a brief, chaste kiss. 

 

Cradling Hux’s face, Ren deepened the kiss, slanting his mouth over Hux’s. After a few minutes of languid kissing, Hux pulled away, the strain on his injured side, cutting into the pleasant burn of Ren’s mouth. “Ow,” he said, with a faint smile. 

 

“Sorry,” Ren murmured, not sounding very sorry at all, but he pressed one last lingering kiss to Hux’s mouth before laying back down. “You should get more sleep,” he said. 

 

“Oh yes, because I can sleep now,” Hux said, but he obligingly closed his eyes and settled back into the pillow, and Ren’s nearly oppressive warmth. “Thank you, by the way,” he murmured. When Ren made a wordless questioning noise, Hux smiled. “For staying.”

 

“Always,” Ren murmured back. 

 

Hux thought of the screams of billions of dying people, and hoped that was true.

 

*

 

“Cian!” His name was shrieked across the hangar bay, and Hux braced himself for impact as Rey barrelled into his chest. His side twinged warningly but he ignored it to hug Rey who clung to him tightly. “Your chest, I’m sorry! I forgot.” She pulled back to look him over, and he summoned up a smile from somewhere. 

 

“I’m perfectly fit,” he told her gently. “The doctor has released me. I’m actually on my way to meet with Orga-- ah. Leia.”

 

She linked her arm with his, turning and dragging him along. “I just left where she’s been set up,” Rey said brightly. “I can take you to her.”

 

They walked along the edge of the hangar, Hux occasionally waving at people as they realized he was up and about. Tempest, his arm still in a sling waved with his free hand, nearly hitting Blue in the face with the stave he was holding on to. Hux hid a smile when Blue rounded on him and started berating him, and Rey giggled quietly. “We all missed you,” she said. “Ren most of all.”

 

“As I missed you all,” Hux promised her. “I’m very much looking forward to getting off this planet.”

 

Rey cleared her throat and gestured to a door at the other side of the spaceport. “Here. They have Leia set up in this office. It’s pretty close to the Untouchable, the Falcon and all the other ships.”

 

Hux kissed Rey on the top of the head. “Thank you,” he said. “Take her, will you?” He tugged SR-3 out of his pocket, pressing her into Rey’s hands. “She’ll need to charge, she spent all night with me and is low on battery.”

 

“Of course,” Rey said, cradling SR’s chassis carefully. “Good luck!”

 

She darted off as Hux swung around to inquire exactly why he was going to need luck, but she was already half way across the port, and Hux scowled. “Cheater!” he shouted after her, and resigned himself to whatever fate Leia had in store for him. Knocking once he entered the small office and came up short. 

 

Leia sat in a chair behind a small metal desk, while Luke stood at her left shoulder, scowling impressively. “Ah, Commander,” Leia said and there was a special emphasis on his title. Hux nodded to her and then focused on the other person in the room.

 

He really should have known. 

 

“Leia,” he greeted cordially. “Luke. Father.”

 

His father turned in the chair, a dark frown on his face. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said, and the cruelty in his voice gave Hux the chills. “I’ve come to lodge a formal complaint about General Leia’s son.”

 

“What for?” Hux asked, already knowing the answer. 

 

“I have no memory of returning to my rooms,” Hux Sr. said, expression growing darker. “Whatever jedi trick your husband played on me…”

 

Hux darted a glance at Leia and Luke, seeing their confusion and amusement at Ren’s new title. “Considering you were breaking into my hospital room at three in the night cycle, and refused to leave when asked kindly, I do believe Captain Ren had quite a lot of motive to remove you from the premises.” He leaned against the door frame, taking the weight off his bad side. “I made my position clear to you last night,” Hux said firmly. 

 

“Commander Hux is quite correct,” Leia said, a thread of warning in her tone. “We support his current endeavors, and will react accordingly to any threats made.”

 

Brendol Hux just smiled, the expression cold. “I see. Thank you for making your positions clear.” He stood, somehow managing to seem larger than his form actually was. “Armitage, I’m certain we’ll speak again. And soon.”

 

He swept out of the room to Hux’s quiet, but insistent, “My  _ name  _ is  _ Cian. _ ”

 

Once the door closed behind him, Hux loosened his stance and dropped into the chair his father had vacated. “I see you’re aware of his arrival,” Leia said dryly.

 

“Only too much,” Hux muttered, rubbing his temple. “How bad?”

 

Leia gave it some thought, watching him carefully. “Bad,” she finally settled on. “We’re a bit in it, right now.” 

 

Hux leaned forward, bracing his arms on her desk. “And?” he asked.

 

She smiled, sharing a look with Luke. “Don’t worry,” she said, lowering her voice. “We have a plan.”

 

*tbc


	8. viii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“This is a terrible idea,” Hux said flatly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late posts for lack of time - work was crazy this week and I had no time to do anything but plan in my head. 
> 
> For Lex, Song, Sasha, and Sera, as always.
> 
> There is one word of mandoa in this but I'm not translating it - Hux doesn't know what it means, so neither will you! Guesses are always welcome. (Correct guesses will get cameos in the next chapter!)
> 
> As ever, I can be found at [tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/), for all your Kylux needs.
> 
> Most of this chapter is angst and porn. We earn our rating here, folks.   
> #sorrynotsorry

Viii.

 

“This is a terrible idea,” Hux said flatly. 

 

Leia snorted, hiding a smile behind a mug of tea. “It is not,” she said, but she sounded amused rather than affronted. “It’s the best bet we’ve got, I think.”

 

He leveled a baleful look at her, his own mug empty between them. “My father would never hear of it,” he said. “He will drag us all down if even given the slightest inch.”

 

Luke shook his head, placing a warm hand on Hux’s elbow. “You let us worry about him,” he said kindly. “I think you’ve had your fill of him, now and in the past.”

 

Hux didn’t bother to deign that with a reply. “Never mind him,” he said sharply. “What do you suppose Ren will do?” he demanded. “Have you even spoken to him about this?”

 

There was a loaded pause as both Leia and Luke busied themselves with their mugs. But Hux was a sniper; he had patience in droves, he could wait them out. “No,” Luke said, caving first. “And we hadn’t planned on it.”

 

Incredulous, Hux twisted in his chair to stare at him. “You want me to lie to him?”

 

“I want you to protect him,” Leia said sharply. “He’s already proven himself incapable of being rational when it comes to your wellbeing and safety. If we were to tell him, he’d never stand for it.”

 

“He’s not going to stand for it now!” Hux said, running hand through his hair. “Leia, do you know what you’re asking me to do?” 

 

She put the mug down, leaning over her desk to look intently at Hux. “Yes,” she said evenly. “I am asking you to break his heart.”

 

Hux tightened his fist in his hair, relishing the quick sharp pain.  He could see their point, the plan was flawless, it would work and like a charm. But Ren… Hux closed his eyes. “Fine,” he said quietly. “I’ll do it.”

 

“Remember,” Luke said, “You  _ must  _ refuse. Let him dig his own grave, rather than your own.” 

 

Eyes still tightly shut, Hux nodded, dropping his hands to his lap. “What must I do?” he asked, scrubbing the tidal wave of despondency out of his voice. He sounded just like his old self - the man he hadn’t been since Revan stuck her fingers into his head and stirred them around. 

 

Luke sighed, face bleak. “You made no secret of your desire to run should the Galactic Council come for you. Simply do as you would normally do.” He grimaced. “You’ll know what to do after that, when the time comes.”

 

Hux nodded. “Fine. Is there nothing else?”

 

Leia looked unbearably sad. “I’m sorry, Commander,” she said. “It may come as a surprise to you - as it certainly did to me - but I’ve grown rather fond of you. I wish I didn’t have to ask this after everything you’ve already been through.”

 

He stood, saluting sharply. “It’s fine. I’ll be…  _ we’ll  _ be fine.” He tried on a smile, borrowing one of Ren’s expressions. “I’ll check in once we’ve left.”

 

Making his escape, Hux found himself in a mostly empty hangar bay, the Millennium Falcon and the Untouchable sharing space easily. The room echoed with his footsteps and Hux made his way over to the doors of the Untouchable. 

 

To his surprise, Blue sat there, her arms wrapped around her knees. She still had a shadow of a bruise over her face from the battle, but she seemed otherwise unhurt. “Commander,” she said ins surprise. “I… didn’t expect to see you so soon.” She wasn’t looking him in the face, and Hux dropped down next to her on the ramp.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked her gently.

 

She shook her head. “Nothing, really. Just… all those ‘troopers,” she said. “So many of them died for no reason. “I… I tried not to kill them, but Temp and I were stationed with Jago himself, and he just… slaughtered everyone.”

 

Hux looped his arm around her waist, tugging her in so her head rested on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he said honestly. “It’s not… easy for me either. I didn’t know these ‘troopers, but the ones on the Finalizer before she blew… I knew them well.”

 

Blue looked up, pillowing her cheek on his upper arm. “We’re still stuck,” she said. When Hux raised an eyebrow at her, she nodded. “Stuck between two worlds, I mean. You’re always going to be General Hux, at least a little… and I’m always going to be a VT unit ‘trooper.”

 

Thinking about it, especially considering his last conversation made Hux’s chest ache. “You are more than just a stormtrooper, Blue,” he said. “But I fear you’re correct, no matter how far I go, how fast I run… I will always be General Hux.” He took a deep breath, leaning his temple on the top of her head. “Make me a promise, Blue?”

 

She cuddled deeper into his side. “Of course,” she answered.

 

“When there comes a time that I’m no longer there… take care of them for me.” He felt her stiffen in shock and she pulled away to stare at him. “Don’t argue, Blue. Just promise me.”

 

Slowly she nodded. “I promise.”

 

The sound of a footstep made them look up and Ren came around the side of the ship, hair a wild tangle. “Oh good,” he said, sounding pleased. “You’re done already. Come with me a second?” 

 

Blue unfolded from the ramp, standing and stretching. “I’ll go find Temp,” she said. “When do we leave, Commander?”

 

“Tomorrow morning. Pass the word?” he asked and she nodded. With one last look, Blue hopped off the ramp and strode away, leaving Hux alone with Ren. “Where did you want to go?”

 

“Inside,” Ren answered and pressed the button to open the blast doors to the Untouchable. “It’s been far too long since we slept in our own bed.”

 

Hux hid a smile. “Slept, hm?” he asked, as he fell into step with Ren. 

 

Ren made a beeline towards their bedroom. He unlocked it and stepped inside, waiting in the doorway for Hux to catch up. 

 

The door closed behind them and Ren used his elbow to push the button for the lock. The door console lit up red, and Hux breathed a sigh of relief. “Cian,” Ren murmured, and when Hux focused on him, he softened. 

 

“Ren,” he replied, attempting to match the tone. They were close, nearly touching, easily within kissing distance. 

 

Moving slowly, Ren leaned his hands on the door behind Hux, bracketing him in. They stood there, silent, just breathing and Hux tilted his chin up just slightly, angling for a kiss. “Cian,” Ren murmured, drawing his face up for a kiss. Though Ren cradled him gently, the kiss was hard and deep, and he crushed their lips together with an undercurrent of desperation. 

 

Hux relaxed back against the door, pulling Ren closer to press their bodies flush. Ren groaned into the kiss when Hux arched his back for leverage, with the added bonus of rubbing against him. He slid his hands up Ren’s chest, curving over his shoulders to bury in his loosened hair. When Ren gasped, Hux took advantage, tracing his tongue over his bottom lip.

 

He clutched Ren tighter, one hand twined in his hair, the other wrapped around his waist. When Ren leaned in further, Hux grinned into their kiss and spread his legs just slightly, allowing him closer. “Cian,” Ren murmured, the sound vibrating between them. “Is this… are you in pain?” he asked, though he sounded reluctant. 

 

“Stop and I’ll kill you myself,” he said and pulled Ren closer for another kiss.

 

“Never crossed my mind,” Ren swore, pressing open mouthed kisses to Hux’s neck. He gasped when Ren nipped at the juncture of his shoulder, and in response, he hooked a leg around Ren’s waist and pulled him closer.

 

They ground against each other, and Ren pulled away from Hux’s neck only to kiss him again, sliding a hand down his thigh and holding him steady. “Coat,” Hux murmured between kisses. “Off.”

 

As soon as Hux had his balance back, he shrugged out of his armored jacket, pulling at the quick release catches with a skill borne of practice. As soon as the jacket was a crumpled heap, he pulled his shirt over his head, ignoring how the skin of ribs protested the sudden movement. Ren yanked off his own shirt and vest, leaving them with Hux’s on the floor.

 

Ren paused for a second, trailing his fingers gently over the still pink new skin over Hux’s chest. “Does it hurt?” he asked, and his voice was gravel rough.

 

“Tugs a bit,” Hux answered honestly. 

 

Leaning forward, Ren pressed a gentle kiss to the center of the new skin on Hux’s chest. “Do we need to slow down?” he asked, and looking up at Hux through a fringe of his hair.

 

Hux reached out and brushed the backs of his fingers over Ren’s cheek. “No,” he said. “Not at all.”

 

Ren gazed at him for a long moment, and Hux grew bored of the silent contemplation, pulling Ren back in and rolling their hips together. The hitch in Ren’s breathing was distracting and Hux kissed him again. 

 

With a sharp inhale, Ren pulled Hux away from the door, pushing him back onto the bed behind him. “Kriff,” he swore, going for the belts on Hux’s pants. “Off.”

 

Hux helped him, tugging on his belt and then lifting his hips to push the leather pants down over his hips. Naked, Hux reached up and pulled Ren down on top of him, vaguely embarrassed at being the only one naked. “Ren,” he murmured, pressing another kiss to Ren’s swollen mouth.

 

“Still good?” Ren asked, and Hux rolled his eyes.

 

“Ren,” he said with heavy amusement, “what I need is for you to get your kriffing clothes off.” 

 

Grinning, Ren shoved his own pants down, freeing himself to press up against Hux. Their erections slid together and Hux bit the smile off his lips, wrapping his left leg around Ren’s waist and flipping them neatly. 

 

“Hey!” Ren protested halfheartedly. 

 

With his own grin, Hux ground down, rolling his hips. “Too slow, Ren,” he said, gently mocking. He tightened his thighs around Ren’s hips, pressing down with his hands in the center of Ren’s chest. “Don’t even think about it,” he said, when Ren twitched tellingly. 

 

Ren cried out as Hux set a leisurely pace, rolling his hips against Ren’s. His fingers pressed dents into new skin and old as he gripped Hux’s waist, holding on tightly. Hux leaned down to kiss him, slightly changing the angle of their grinding, and Ren jerked hard, crying out against Hux’s lips.

 

Hux laughed breathlessly. “Close?” he asked.

 

“Ask a stupid question,” Ren groaned, arching his back when Hux took them both in hand. 

 

He only held them for one or two strokes before his hand before he slid down Ren’s body to lay in the cradle of his legs. “Do brace yourself, Ren,” Hux drawled, smirking, and before Ren could sit up and look at him, he pressed an open mouthed kiss to the base of Ren’s cock. 

 

Ren shouted in surprise, his hips coming off the bed, but Hux anticipated him, pulling back before he could dislodged. “Cian,” Ren said, voice half a whine, “you don’t have to.”

 

Hux gave him as derisive look as he could letting how unimpressed he felt leak through their connection. When Ren laughed in embarrassed shock, Hux slipped his mouth down as far as he could - a good length of way before Ren’s girth became too much. He swallowed around his gag reflex, and Ren howled, jerking up before Hux pushed him back down. 

 

He didn’t know when this had last been done to Ren - likely over a year, as before everything, he’d spent more time making sure Hux was satisfied before seeking his own pleasure. Hux had never enjoyed the way the boys would force his jaw open at the Academy, but for Ren, to see him writhe and groan, it was enough. 

 

“Cian,” Ren snarled, tendons standing out in sharp relief in his neck, and the warning pulsed through their connection. Hux hummed, pressing his tongue against the head of Ren’s cock and met his eyes.  _ Go on then _ , he murmured into Ren’s head. 

 

But Ren shook his head. “Get up here,” he growled, reaching down and tugging insistently on Hux’s upper arms. Hux went willingly, submitting to the crushing kiss that Ren gave him. They were pressed together again and Hux shivered when Ren arched his hips up and ground against him. 

 

“What do you want, Ren?” Hux asked, dotting kisses across his collarbones. 

 

“You,” Ren said, and then the world whirled to the side as they flipped again, Hux pinned by Ren’s larger bulk. “Can I?” he asked. 

 

Hux smirked, arching up. “Ask a stupid question,” he said and Ren laughed, the sound thick and broken in the middle.  

 

Ren leaned over and the drawer at his bedside table opened before his fingers reached it. The small bottle of slick flew into Ren’s hand and when Hux laughed, Ren winked at him. “Handy trick, isn’t it?” he asked, as he coated his fingers in the oil. 

 

“Rather a bit, show off,” Hux said with a laugh.

 

As Ren prepared him, sliding one finger inside him and holding his hand still so Hux could adjust, Ren gazed down at him, something unreadable in his gaze. “Marry me,” he said, very quietly. 

 

Hux blinked, staring up at him. Ren’s finger felt enormous but it betrayed the nervous tension vibrating through him. “Really?” he asked incredulously. “You’re knuckle deep  _ inside me _ and  _ now  _ is when you choose to ask me that?”

 

Ren shrugged, looking embarrassed. “It… sort of slipped out?”

 

The longer Hux went without answering, the stiffer Ren’s shoulders got and Hux relaxed, lifting an arm to pull Ren in for a kiss. “Yes,” he said quietly, nose pressed to Ren’s cheek. “The answer is yes. But! I expect a better proposal.”

 

Ren laughed, and added a second finger but Hux tugged on his arm. “No, just- come on. It’s fine.”

 

The stretch was almost too much, and Hux was probably going to regret the lack of preparation, but right then, it was everything he could want. As Ren slowly seated himself, he looked down at Hux with a slightly glazed expression. “Cian Armitage Hux,” he said, hoarse and fucked out, “will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

 

Hux laughed, pulling Ren down for another messy kiss. “Yes,” he said, breathless and elated. “I will, you ridiculous man.”

 

Ren kissed him again, and began to move, and despite the first few twinges of pain, Hux was too wrapped up in the feeling of Ren’s body and the ever constant press of his mind. He reached out and touched their connection, throwing it open the only way he knew how, and Ren’s very being flooded him.

 

For a few minutes, the outside world didn’t exist, there was just Ren and Hux, Hux and Ren. There was nothing more the feeling of Ren moving in and out of him, nothing but their harshing breathing and the sweat slick grip of fingers on skin. 

 

When Hux came, it was a surprise, and he seized up, arching and crying out as sound flooded back into his senses. Ren followed him immediately after, holding tightly to Hux’s hips. He pulled away from Hux and laid down next to him, damp and over warm. “I can’t believe you asked me to marry you in the middle of sex,” Hux said.

 

Ren grinned, hiding his face in a pillow. “You’re the one that said yes.”

 

Snorting, Hux lifted an arm and hit Ren haphazardly in the side with the back of his hand. “How could I say no to you, hm?” he said. 

 

Moving closer and dropping an arm over Hux’s waist, Ren pressed a kiss to his bare shoulder. “You couldn’t,” he said. 

 

“Clearly not,” Hux murmured, and placed his hand on top of Ren’s wrist. “Go to sleep, Ren,” he murmured. “We have a long day tomorrow.”

 

There were a few minutes of silence as Hux let the world dim around him before a slightly muffled beeping noise intruded into his sleep fogged mind.  _ [... ink they’re going to unlock the door, Friend-Poe?] _

 

A low laugh was clear through the door. “Probably not, SR. Best leave them be for now, okay? Why do you go keep Rey company, I’m sure she could use it.”

 

Ren groaned quietly, fingers pressing gently into Hux’s stomach. “How much do you want to bet they heard us?” he whined.

 

“No bet,” Hux said quickly. “They definitely heard you.”

 

“Me?” Ren said incredulously, leaning up on his elbows to scowl down at Hux. The effect was slightly lost as his hair, usually riotous with curls flopped over his right eye and he had to shake his head to dislodge it. 

 

Hux laughed lightly, leaning up and kissing Ren’s indignation away. “Go to sleep, fool.”

 

“Good night, cyar’ika,” Ren murmured, and kissed Hux again before settling back down into the pillows. 

 

Making a mental note to ask Kiel what that meant, Hux rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. Taking measured breaths, he locked his heart away behind a durasteel door, layering up his very self behind ice and metal and lies.

 

Organa needed him to be General Hux. So General Hux he would be.

 

*tbc


	9. ix.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It was fruitless, but he held up his hands to protect his face._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, this chapter is for Lex, Sasha, Song and Sera. I thank you for your patience, and also apologize for the shorter than average chapter length, I've been sick all week. I got literally no writing done until yesterday and this afternoon. 
> 
> I'm at [ tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/), for any and all conversation. I welcome it. Come say hi!
> 
> No mando'a this time. 
> 
> #sorrynotsorry

As soon as they broke out into the black of space, Hux felt a weight fall away from his shoulders. Leaving Lothal behind, and on a course for the Unknown Regions, he could finally breathe easily, even with the lingering pain in his chest. “Thinking deep thoughts?” Rey questioned quietly, briefly leaning her cheek on his shoulder as she slipped past him to sit in the pilot's chair. 

 

He made a vague hand wave motion, leaning his hip against the back of her seat. “Not deep,” he said slowly. “Relieved.” 

 

She tilted her head up to look at him. “Happy to be off Lothal?”

 

“You have  _ no  _ idea,” Hux drawled. 

 

Rey made a noncommittal noise, eyes back on the controls. “You scared me,” she admitted quietly. She looked over at where Poe sat in the co-pilot's seat, who had turned to face them when she came in the room. “You scared all of us,” she amended, when Poe nodded in agreement. 

 

“That was hardly my intention,” Hux said, a little dryly. “If you recall, I spent a large portion of that battle believing that you and Ren had been killed.”

 

A shudder visibly ran over Rey’s skin and she flinched, rubbing her forehead as though in remembered pain. “If we never run across those things again, it will be too soon,” she agreed, rubbing her arms. 

 

He nodded, forcibly stopping himself from prodding at the Force bonds in his head to check their authenticity. “It will simply mean that we can no longer rely on the connections in our minds to ascertain our wellbeings. We’ll need old fashioned comm units, now more than ever.” He pulled a slightly rueful smile. “It also means that if we run across any Ysalamir again, I’ll be the one investigating them.”

 

Rey frowned at him. “Cian, you’re as much of a part of the Force as we are,” she said doubtfully. 

 

Considering that, and the minute ability he had to use their bonds, Hux shook his head. “Not like you, Finn and Rey are,” he said. “The worst that will happen is I’m briefly cut off from you and Ren.”

 

Her mouth twisted and she looked away. “That was pretty bad, Cian,” she said.

 

“I imagine it was worse not being able to access your speed, and all manner of other things you’ve grown accustomed to,” he pointed out gently. “Besides, this is all academic, we don’t know how many of things that Order has -  _ and  _ we’re all fairly certain that the ships we’re hunting right now won’t have them.”

 

Rey didn’t look appeased but she allowed the subject to drop, nodding once and turning back to the navigational computer. “The Kestrel was last seen in the Unknown Regions,” she reported, with only a faint tremor to her voice betraying her previous upset. 

 

“Yes, if I recall correctly, it was meant to scout the limits of our charted areas, slowly expanding outward. The last report,” Hux said, flipping through his data files quickly, “had them just last Lwhekk.”

 

“Bless you,” Poe said, shooting him a grin.

 

Hux rolled his eyes. “Now I know where Finn gets it,” he muttered to himself. “If I remember correctly, the Kestrel was meant only for reconnaissance, rather than exploration - when we find her, it’s likely to be a dogfight, not a landing party.”

 

Poe grinned. “That’ll be easy as anything, you have Hot Dameron here.”

 

Making a disgusted noise, Hux rolled his eyes. “No one on this ship is going to call you that,” he said. “Ever.” 

 

But Poe just laughed. “Finn does.”

 

Hux scowled, resisting the urge to run a hand over his face. “Thank you, Mr. Dameron, that was entirely unnecessary.” 

 

Before Poe could respond again, SR-3’s voice chimed the intercom.  _ [Friend-Cian, you have an incoming call from Designation Friend-Ganna.] _

 

She’d been writing them steadily since they’d left D’Qar but for the most part, her letters had been social in nature, rather than informative. Frowning in slight concern, Hux slipped into the holocommand room and hit the button to connect her call. “Thank you, SR,” he said, as Ganna’s blue holographic form filled the console. “Ganna,” he greeted cautiously. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

 

Flipping one of her lekku over her shoulder, Ganna grinned down at him. “Cian,” she greeted, and Hux reckoned that in all the months he’d been with the Republic, he’d never grow used to their penchant for tossing his name about with such familiarity. 

 

“Ganna,” he repeated, raising one eyebrow in question.

 

She smirked, one side of her mouth tugging upward. “A few of us here on D’Qar have heard a rumor,” she said but the smug tone told him it wasn’t Republic related.

 

He sighed, waving a hand in a short circle. “Go on, Ganna,” he drawled. “Spit it out.”

 

The devious expression faded only just enough to see a glimmer of real hurt behind it. “I only have one question,” she said. “Why exactly, weren’t we invited to your wedding?”

 

Hux opened his mouth then closed it again, utterly at a loss for words. When the silence drew out and Ganna’s disappointment grew, Hux relented. “Well, I suppose that would be because we haven’t actually gotten married,” he said with a half smile. 

 

“But SR’s message said..” Ganna started before she cut herself off. 

 

Slowly, Hux swivelled in place to level a glare at the tiny astromech who beeped in alarm and darted away, disappearing into a vent. Clearing his throat, Hux turned back to Ganna who seemed bemused by his reaction. “It’s a long story,” he said.

 

Her smile came back by degrees and she leaned back against something not quite within the range of the holoprojector. “I have time.”   
  


Sighing, Hux sat down on the chair that had been left for exactly that purpose. “I’m sure you heard about what happened on Lothal, how Jagonath turned on Ren - and me. I spent several days in a bacta tank, then several more in hospital. During that time,” he trailed off - stars, he hated talking about his father - trying to choose the correct words. “I had an unwanted visitor.”

 

“Jago?” Ganna wondered, looking concerned.

 

Hux snorted. “Worse, I’m afraid. In the middle of the night cycle, my father interrupted my rest.” He said it blandly, scrubbing tone and inflection and the seething hatred from his voice. “When Ren came to intervene, he deemed that my father was less than impressed with his titles, and claimed himself my husband.”   
  


Ganna blinked. “Did it work?”

 

“No,” Hux said flatly. “That however, is the story of our marriage.”

 

She looked him over, concern obvious. “Are you alright?” she asked, a little hesitantly. 

 

He thought about lying to her. It would be almost easy to find a part of himself that could answer ‘yes’ to that question. Hux was going to have to do a lot of lying in the coming days; it would be easiest to just start now. “Cian?” she asked, a gentle prompt.

 

“No,” he said tiredly. “I can’t say as I am.” He pushed his hair out of his eyes, holding his hand over his eyes for a second. “I’m living on borrowed time, my father has more or less threatened to find a way to assassinate me, or at least hunt me down if I don’t comply with his wishes, and, to top it all off, the imaginary Galactic Senate isn’t so imaginary anymore.”

 

Her lips twisted slightly. “You’ve never seemed to regret your actions before,” she said.

 

“A Hux does not regret,” he quoted. “I did what I thought I had to, Ganna. It was my job, I was following orders. I’ve been trying to make up for it for the last year.” He held up a hand, stopping her before she could speak. “I’m aware I will never atone for those lives that Starkiller took,” he said quietly. 

 

She scowled, crossing her arms over her chest. “Then why try?”   
  


Wondering how they’d gotten here from the beginning of their conversation, Hux just shook his head. “What sort of person would that make me?” he asked her, not really expecting an answer. “If I don’t try, then I prove the rest of the galaxy right - that General Hux was a cold bastard who had no room in his heart for anything g--” He cut himself with a sharp hand motion, taking a deep breath. “I can’t atone,” he repeated. “But I can take the rest of them down with me.”

 

She looked surprised. “You think you’re going to lose,” she murmured.

 

“Is my loss not an assured thing?” he wondered, more to himself than to her. “It’s fine,” he said when she went to speak again. “ _ I’m _ fine.”

 

Ganna’s stance loosened. “I didn’t mean to yell at you,” she said quietly. “I’ve known who you are for months, almost from the beginning. I’d long since decided that if Ren approved, then I couldn’t complain.”

 

Hux sighed, managing a slight smile. “I’m finding that Ren’s reach is far, wide and expansive. But not enough.”

 

“Where is Ren?” Ganna wondered.

 

Making a vague gesture over his shoulder, Hux said, “I left him asleep this morning. He barely rested at all on Lothal.”

 

She nodded. “Tell him that Rikka and Clio say hello and that they miss him. Don’t be a stranger, Cian.”

 

Hux nodded once, and hit the button on the holo to end the conversation. He turned around to find Rey, Poe, Finn and everyone with the exception of Ren standing in various doorways watching him silently. “No,” he said, when Rey opened her mouth to speak. “Not a word out of any of you. I refuse to drag you all down with me.”

 

“It’s not dragging if we’re following you willingly,” Phasma said pointedly. 

 

“Perhaps not,” he said. “But that just means when the Republic comes for me, you lot will roll over and keep them from taking you too. Ren and I can take care of ourselves.” He stepped closer to the ex-Stormtroopers. “Especially you three. Keep your head down, your noses out of it, and stop  _ worrying  _ so much. I’ll be just fine.”  

 

It had to be true. He could allow for nothing else.

 

*

 

“Commander, you really want to get up to the cockpit!” Poe’s voice split the night cycle, rousing Hux from a dead sleep. 

 

After almost a week in the deep black of the Unknown Regions, they’d nearly given up on finding the Kestrel, reduced to traveling slowly from quadrant to quadrant. It was as though the ship had vanished entirely.

 

Hux scrambled out of bed, followed by Ren as they pulled clothing on haphazardly, Hux ending up with one of Ren’s shirts instead of his own. “What’s going on?” he demanded, running up to the bridge as Ren went to rouse the others. 

 

“That!” Poe pointed out the transparisteel windows. 

 

“Ah,” Hux said dryly. They hadn’t found the Kestrel. 

 

The Kestrel had found them. 

 

“Brace for evasive maneuvers!” Poe bellowed into the intercom and Hux clutched the back of the pilots chair as they dodged a shot from a plasma cannon. 

 

Leaning over Poe, Hux hit the button for the intercom and said quickly, letting the adrenaline settle in his veins, “Finn, Phas - get into the gunnery and arm the plasma and laser cannons. Blue, gather whatever you need from the engine room and be ready in case we need to board. Tempest and Ren, get all the weapons from the armory and Rey, get up here, please, Poe’s going to need you. HK, ready yourself for battle!”

 

Orders meted out, Hux snagged his armored jacket from the back of the chair in the holocommand center, accepting the plasma pistol and sniper rifle from Ren as he jogged by. “Hux!” Poe shouted again, and he ducked back into the cockpit. 

 

“They have a tractor beam,” Poe said breathlessly. 

 

“Oh kriff.” 

 

Poe managed another dodge around the beam of light, but there was no way their corvette class ship was going to outgun a Star Destroyer of the Kestrel’s caliber. Rey slid into the co-pilots seat, scraping her hair away from her face from where it had been loose in sleep. “What do we do?” she asked, as light speared across the dark of space again.

 

Hux sighed, dropping his head down. “We’re going to have to board them, knock the tractor beam offline,” he said with palpable hesitation. “We’re never going to be able to disable them from out here.” He clapped Poe on the shoulder. “Do your best to dodge for now.”

 

“Aye, Commander,” Poe answered smartly, all trace of humor and snark gone.

 

Striding into the holocommand center, Hux dragged his gaze over the others. “Here’s what’s going to happen,” he said. “They have a tractor beam, and it’s only a matter of time before they snag us. That being said, we’re going to need to take them down from the inside.”

 

“How?” Phasma asked, her voice slightly tinny through the intercom, and punctuated by plasma shots. 

 

“A small team of us will move through the ship, make our way to the bridge, take out the General in charge of the ship. Rey, Finn, Ren, you’re with me. Poe will be staying so we can make our escape if need be. HK, Phasma, and Tempest; I need you to secure the hangar bay.” He took a deep breath and met Blue’s worried eyes. “You’re with me, Blue.”

 

The worried look transformed fully into terrified alarm and he made a mental note to talk to her before it was too late to do so. “Cian,” Rey called, and the ship jerked hard to the left, as the tractor beam finally caught them.

 

“Weapons hot,” Hux said, and caught Blue before she could rush away. Framing her face between his palms, he met her eyes. “You are the most important person right now,” he said seriously. “I have every faith in you.”

 

“Me?” she said, fingers looping around his wrists and holding tightly. 

 

Hux nodded. “Once we reach the bridge, Poe will be relying on your splicing to release us from lock 

down.” 

 

Her face, which had been twisted in fear and doubt, smoothed out into determination. “I won’t let you down, Commander,” she promised.

 

He smiled. “I know you won’t. Here.” He pressed his stealth drive into her hands. “You’ll need this more than I will.”

 

She closed her hands around it, before hooking it to her belt. “I’m right behind you,” she promised.

 

There was a brief bump as they landed inside the hangar bay, and then several moments of blessed silence. “Blue, you have twelve charges in that stealth drive,” Hux said quietly. “As soon as you interact with anything, the field will drop, and the average static field duration is about fifteen minutes. Stick with us, and you should be safe.”

 

She nodded once, tightening her bag closer to her side. “Aye, Commander.”

 

Hux took a deep breath, then opened the ramp doors, hearing with a practiced ear as Blue used the drive for the first time. As the ramp hit the floor and they moved out into the bay, Hux drew up shore, finding a group of officers only a few feet away. “General Hux,” the leader called over. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

 

Darting his eyes over her jacket and medals, Hux surmised that she was a lieutenant, much like Thanisson had been. “Yes, well,” he said, thick with derision, “you made such a spectacular invitation, I couldn’t help but accept.”

 

She bowed slightly, but her retinue of stormtroopers all aimed their weapons at Hux. “I am Aris Denan,” she introduced. “I’m here to take you to General Odala Cyn.” 

 

Hux wracked his memory for the name of the General who had taken the Kestral from Arkanis so many years before but he could only come up with a blank. It had been too long and he’d been too young. He was however, fairly certain that whoever Odala Cyn was, she wasn’t the original General of the Kestrel. 

 

The four of them moved forward, willing to comply for the moment, and Ren touched Hux’s hip briefly in solidarity. 

 

They moved quickly through familiar halls and doorways, and Hux knew that Ren would give the others the signal to attack the Hangar as soon as he thought they were far enough. 

 

Hux gazed around him, trying to gauge the mood of the ‘troopers surrounding them. None of them looked his way, they marched in order, in rhythm, not a step out of place. Whatever unit this was, they had never thought about escaping, had likely never heard of FN-2187. 

 

Before, they’d banked on some ‘troopers defecting. This time, they were on their own.

 

When they came to the bridge, Hux stepped out in front of Rey, knowing Blue was likely just behind her, with Finn and Ren flanking him on the sides.

 

There was a woman standing at the main conn, a large oversize General’s jacket draped over her frame. “You must be Odala Cyn,” Hux drawled, when the silence grew heavy.

 

Without turning around, the general inclined her head. “Kill him,” she ordered.

 

The silence broke with the sound of hundreds of blaster bolts, red light flying towards them. He had to give Ren credit, he blocked the first twenty and Rey screamed as she blocked the others, Finn swearing beside them. 

 

But then Odala Cyn turned around and said, “Fire again.”

 

A laser bolt hit Ren in the shoulder, staggering him, and Hux saw the horror on his face as he lost his grip on the bolts he was holding back. 

 

Rage boiled through him, white hot and burning. It couldn’t end like this, not now, not when he had so much more to do. The feeling built in a nanosecond, slamming through his veins, up into his chest, thundering through his heart. It filled his chest like expanding mercury, but there was no time to turn the force of his rage on the Order. 

 

It was fruitless, but he held up his hands to protect his face.

 

There was a beat of silence, then another, and he opened his eyes. 

 

In front of his hands, the laser bolt aimed to kill him, floated, frozen. He blinked at it, then sidestepped neatly. The pressure in his chest faded like collapsing air, and the laser bolt flew past him, to hit the wall.

 

_ Cian, _ Ren whispered through his mind like smoke,  _ that... wasn’t me. _

 

*tbc


	10. x.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Luke,” Hux said urgently to the bemused hologram, “You don’t understand. The laser blast was two feet in front of me. Rey was keeping bolts off Blue, Ren was keeping the rest back. The one straight down the middle was going to hit us.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, this chapter is for Lex, Song, Sarah, and Sasha. Special thanks to my sister for looking over the tough parts of this chapter and letting me know how it fit together and if it was okay.
> 
> **This chapter deals with some pretty heavy stuff. There's a gore warning, because of battle. But mostly the biggest warning is for child abuse in the past. If this is something that you find triggering, I will summarize the scene in the end notes so you can skip the scene without hurting yourself. The scene starts with the italics "Silas?" and end with "Six cadets died that night." If you, or anyone else you know has suffered from abuse (either in the past or currently) please, please get help. You are worth it.**
> 
> I'm at [tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/), if you want to talk about anything, anything at all.

X.

 

“Luke,” Hux said urgently to the bemused hologram, “You  _ don’t understand.  _ The laser blast was  _ two feet in front of me _ . Rey was keeping bolts off Blue, Ren was keeping the rest back. The one straight down the middle was  _ going to hit us.”  _

 

Luke rubbed his forehead, still frowning fiercely. “It is well within Ren’s skill set to have done that,” he pointed out.

 

“Except he already said that he hadn’t done it!” Hux exclaimed. “Rey was barely able to hold up her side, and Finn’s been useless at it since the first time he tried.”

 

Crossing his arms and looking frustrated, Luke shook his head. “What are you trying to tell me, Cian?” he asked.

 

“I… I’m not Force sensitive,” Hux blurted out. “I’m thirty five years old, I was  _ tested,  _ there were… there were tests. They  _ checked _ . But I did it,  _ I _ stopped that bolt.”

 

Luke huffed an impatient sigh. “Someday you’ll have to explain what you mean by ‘tests’, Cian. But, fine. Tell me exactly what happened.” 

 

Hux fell into parade rest, hands tightly clasped behind his back. “Of course,” he said. “After the bolt stopped, and I moved, it crashed into the wall behind us...”

 

*

 

Hux turned and stared at the mark on the wall where the bolt had collided. He could feel the incredulous eyes of his team boring into him. The heavy feeling in his chest was gone like it had never existed in the first place, leaving him feeling empty and shocky. Ren’s mouth was half open in shock, Rey - strained and pale - was gazing at the laser bolt scar in the wall. 

 

For her part too, General Cyn seemed shocked, her laser pistol lowered as though in surprise. “Finn!” Hux barked, in the ringing silence. 

 

Finn  _ jumped.  _

 

Confined as they were on the small corvette class ship, Hux had forgotten how elegantly powerful Finn’s Force jumps were. He coiled down, springing fifteen feet straight into the air, clearing Rey’s head with room to spare. 

 

He landed behind Cyn’s head, and the wave of Force that blasted out of him when he did shorted out half the consoles around her. She was flung forward, her pistol clattering off to one side. Hux ducked around Ren, who immediately let go of the blaster bolts he was holding to cover him. 

 

There was the familiar sound of a stealth drive being dropped and Blue shimmered into view by one of the consoles, crouched down and busy. “Cover her,” Hux shouted to Ren, and pulled out his weapon. 

 

He rarely used anything other than a sniper rifle, occasionally a pistol or two but his first passion was ranged combat. Despite how much he’d like to forget his father and the lessons of his youth though, Hux had cultivated a skill with a scattergun, something to use when distance was simply unavailable to him. 

 

Like right now.

 

A quick glance of the field of battle saw that Finn and Rey were keeping the stormtroopers corralled nicely, either by redirecting their blaster bolts or simply by cordoning them off with thick Force shields. Ren was covering Blue who was working quickly at a console.

 

General Odala Cyn stood slowly, reaching for the pistol that wasn’t there. When she realized she was unarmed, she screeched, the sound inhuman. It echoed through the room, and Hux was almost too startled by the sound to react when she leapt at him.

 

Up close, he could see the  _ wrongness  _ of her person - the way her veins stood out in dark relief against her too pale skin. Her eyes, like Ronis Olier’s, black from lid to lid and without color or kindness.

 

Hux fended off a wild strike from one of her hands, her nails sharpened to black pointed tips. He spun them, pressing his knee to her hip and throwing her off balance. She stumbled back a step, but rallied with near inhuman speed. 

 

Cyn rushed forward, her form blurring unnaturally. Time slowed down, and the sounds of battle faded away from Hux’s awareness. He breathed in once, hearing it echo perfectly in his ears as he spun the scattergun just in time for her to slam into him. 

 

She smiled, her fingers at his neck, nails pricking his skin. Triumphant, Hux smiled back. Pressed against her belly as it was, when he squeezed the trigger on the scattergun, the spray effect nearly tore her in two. 

 

Hux recoiled when her blood - thick, black, and oily - hit him. Her eyes were wide when she looked at him, and slowly as he lowered her to the ground, the black ink in her eyes drained away to show him dull brown irises. Her mouth moved in a whisper, and then, she died.

 

The stormtroopers were still trying to push back against Rey and Finn, and Hux stood, swinging his scattergun over one shoulder and stepping up to Odala Cyn’s dias. “Stormtrooper Unit,” he bellowed in his best Phasma impression. “General Odala Cyn is dead!”

 

The fighting cut off with a speed that surprised him and there was a beat of silence, before one of the Stormtroopers, dressed in matte black armor stepped up towards Rey and Finn.  _ Let him through _ , Hux told her silently. 

 

“General Hux,” the trooper said, his voice labored and strange through the helmet.

 

Hux leaned back against a console, utterly exhausted. “You may remove your helmet, Trooper…?”

 

With a whir and a hiss of hydraulics, the ‘trooper pulled off his helm. Only many years of practice kept his face from betraying how he felt. The Stormtrooper was burned, bright silver hair cut away on one side to cover the damage on his scalp. His right cheek was pitted as though he’d had acid thrown on him. “I am Unit Designation XX-1864. My unit calls me Phase.”

 

Nodding in greeting, Hux tilted his head in thought. “Phase,” he said. “You may know me as General Hux, but these days I go by Commander.”

 

“Commander, then. Do you require a sitrep?” the ‘Trooper said sharply and without blinking. 

 

“Go on,” Hux said, looking over the assembled stormtroopers. Most were wearing white armor, but there were a few who had clearly risen above the ranks. “We departed Arkanis in year 10ABY. During that time, our General was Isonde Irimore. He was killed in a dogfight with an unknown ship. Lieutenant General Acun Hexare took over. He died of medical complications previously unknown to him. General Odala Cyn took over from him. That was a month ago, since her promotion, we have been without orders, circling this bit of the galaxy without end.”

 

Hux tilted his head to the side. “And her eyes?” he asked, nudging her corpse with a foot. 

 

“Changed as though overnight. Are you our new General, Commander Hux?” 

 

He laughed a little. “No, I think not.” He thought about it for a long second, before nodding to himself. “Judging by how quickly the battle ended when she fell, I’d hazard a guess that Odala Cyn was unloved as a leader. To that end, I offer you a choice.”

 

Phase blinked dark eyes at him, a sharp intelligence in his face. “You wish for us to join the New Republic as you have.”

 

Quirking an eyebrow, Hux glanced tellingly down at what remained of the former General. “Well, could it be worse than what you’ve already experienced?” he asked. 

 

The ‘trooper actually snorted. “How do you propose we join?” he asked. “It cannot be that easy.”

 

“It is,” Finn said mildly. “I’m FN-2187. Or, I was. They call me Finn, now.”

 

Phase glanced at him, then back to Hux. “There is no one left who could take the general’s place, Commander,” he said. 

 

“ _ You  _ seem perfectly able,” Hux said. “I’ll leave one of my own here with you, she can get you back to Republic Space and help you learn how to be a Captain.” Hux touched his ear. “Phasma, how’s the hangar?”

 

There was a short pause with a hint of static and then she said, “It was the strangest thing, Commander. We were fighting for our lives, and then suddenly it all stopped. The people collapsed like empty shells. What did you do?”

 

He smirked, tapping his ear again. “I cut off the head,” he said cryptically. “Could you get to the bridge, please? I have some new orders for you.”

 

“Of course.” Hux glanced over at Ren and Blue, and she nodded to him when their eyes met. 

 

So the tractor beam had been disabled, and their ship was no longer locked in; that was a relief. Now to get the Star Destroyer back to D’Qar. “Alright,” he said. “Phasma will be here shortly. She is a former ‘Trooper captain, she’ll be well equipped to help you bring this ship out of the Unknown Regions.” He looked down at the corpse of Odala Cyn. “Space the bodies,” he told Phase. “Whatever was wrong with them, you don’t need that on your ship.”

 

Phase saluted smartly. “Aye, Commander!”

 

*

 

Hux shrugged one shoulder, rubbing his tired eyes with one hand. “We left Phasma there with them, they should be arriving at D’Qar in a few weeks, considering the state of the ship,” he told Luke, his voice slightly hoarse. 

 

Luke looked contemplative, metal hand tapping against his chin in thought. “Alright,” he said slowly. “I do have a theory.”

 

“Enlighten me,” Hux drawled.

 

The hologram shivered as Luke moved, and he said after another second of thought, “I’ve mentioned how rare your Force Bond is, with Ren. It’s a powerful thing you carry on your mind, and that sort of connection is life changing. There was someone, once, long ago who spent much of his life running. He was the mind behind the destruction of Malachor V, and he was cut off from the Force in return for his war efforts.” 

 

Hux raised an eyebrow. “What does he have to do with me?” he asked.

 

“Impatient,” Luke chided, amused. “He eventually found his way back to the Force again, but in doing so, he forged Bonds with his closest friends and family - allowing them to use the Force through him.”

 

That brought Hux’s entire situation into sharp clarity. “You’re saying,” he said slowly, “that I used my Bond with Ren to stop that bolt?”

 

Luke nodded. “Yes, Cian. That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

 

“So I’m not Force sensitive,” he said, more for clarification, rather than an actual question.

 

“No,” Luke agreed. “Why?”

 

Hux shook his head, feeling his expression fall flat. “If it turned out I was Force sensitive after all these years...” He shook his head again. “There’s a lot I could have changed.” He leaned forward on the console, letting his hair fall into his eyes. “Thanks for your help, Luke,” he said quietly. 

 

“Any time,” he said, matching Hux’s tone. 

 

The holocommand center went out, leaving Hux in the dark. He didn’t know how long he stood there, until Ren placed a warm hand in the middle of his back. “Come on,” he urged gently. “Come to bed.”

 

Together, they moved through the dim hall, Hux checking on Rey and Blue before heading into their room. It, like the rest of the ship, was a muted grey with little light. In quiet tones, Hux repeated his conversation with Luke to Ren. “So in the end,” he said, “it was your connection to me that allowed me to stop that laser blast. I’m not Force sensitive.”

 

Ren pressed a chaste kiss to Hux’s shoulder. “You wanted to be?” he asked, no judgement in his tone.

 

Hux thought about it for a long second before he shook his head. “No, not… no. I didn’t want to be a jedi. Or whatever it is you are.”

 

“They tested you for it,” Ren said, unconsciously echoing Hux’s own thoughts. 

 

Hux cleared his throat, turning into Ren’s bulk and laying there.  _ They did, _ he said, unwilling to say it out loud.  _ They tested every one.  _

 

“Will you tell me?” Ren asked, loud in the dark of their shared quarters. Hux stiffened, suddenly feeling claustrophobic, and he sat up. “Cian?” Ren murmured, fingers curving around his thigh. “You don’t have to.”

 

“No, I…” his voice stuck in his throat and he swallowed harshly. “I’ve simply never spoken of it before.” Ren was tellingly silent, fingers a warm anchor against his skin. “It was 14 ABY,” Hux said quietly. “I was ten.” He took a deep breath, and let himself remember. “I’d been pulled out of my rooms at the Academy, by an older cadet…”

 

_ “Silas?” Cian asked, holding onto the older cadets sleeve as he was led down the hall. He was sleepy and confused and he didn’t know where they were going. “Is everything alright?” he asked, hesitantly. _

 

_ The cadet looked down at him, face expressionless. “Yes, Cadet Hux,” he answered, with little inflection. “This is a new test.” _

 

_ Cian drew himself up, letting go of Silas’ sleeve and walking at attention. “Understood,” he said, hating the way his voice cracked in the middle. “What are the parameters of the test, Cadet Silas?” he asked.  _

 

_ That made the older boy smirk. “To be silent,” he said, authoritative. “You will see your instructors shortly.”  _

 

_ Cian nodded, falling into step, and following obediently. They walked briskly down several hallways, before coming to a nondescript door, where Silas knocked once. It was only a moment later that a man answered the door, his face covered by a red surgical mask, and he nodded once. “Good. Enter, Cadet Hux. Cadet Silas, you may return to bed.” _

 

_ Silas turned and strode away, not looking back down at Cian who stared up at his new instructor, trying to hide his fear. “Sir, Cadet Hux reporting for duty, sir,” he said, and snapped a sharp salute.  _

 

_ “Enter,” the stranger said, and let Cian into the room. The room was large, deceptively so, with a long line of chairs in the middle of it. There were nine at a count, all but one occupied by other Cadets in Cian’s class. He was led to the empty seat and when he sat down, restraints snapped out of the arms and legs to hold him tightly.  _

 

_ Cian turned to look at his classmate next to him, recognizing Kaela Polluck, the brightest of their class. She was looking back at him, and he was worried to see fear in her clear blue eyes.  _

 

_ Something was wrong. _

 

_ The man in the red mask stepped up to the middle of the room, and as he did, all the lights around them dimmed except for the one focusing on him. “Hello,” he intoned, “I’m certain you’re all curious as to why you’ve been brought here before us. Let me assure you now that as long as you cooperate, this will go quickly and you may return to your beds.” He gave them all a severe look that made Cian’s limbs chill with fear. “This, Cadets, is the only test you will be required to pass. It is a series of kinetic and sympathetic exercises that will test your connection to the Force.” _

 

_ “Sir?” Kaela said hesitantly. “Will our family histories be taken into account? There is no Force sensitivity that runs in my family.” _

 

_ The dark, cold eyes of the man in the red mask stared over at Cian and Kaela. “The Force works in mysterious ways,” he said. “We will begin.” _

 

_ At first, nothing happened, and then, in a great wave, the screaming started. One by one, starting from the side farthest from Cian, each of the cadets opened their mouths and screamed. Kaela’s head whipped around to stare at them, before she too began to scream - a clear, high pitched tone that split Cian’s head and echoed in his ears.  _

 

_ He had exactly half a second to notice the sparks of electricity at the base of Kaela’s metal chair before pain raced up his body. It was like being set on fire with tiny needles, and his mouth filled with blood as he bit down on his tongue. He couldn’t stop the scream that ripped out of his chest even though Hux’s never show pain. _

 

_ It only lasted a few seconds, but they dragged by like years and finally the electrocution stopped, leaving him hanging in his bonds like a puppet. Next to him, Kaela was sobbing softly, tears dripping down her cheeks. _

 

_ He wanted to reach out to her, but his arms were held fast to the chair. The man in the red mask went to each cadet in the line, leaning in close and speaking to them. When he got to Kaela, he reached out and tilted her chin up, and despite how close they were seated together, Cian couldn’t hear his words. Kaela’s reaction though was obvious, she began shaking her head, pushing back in the seat and trying to put as much distance between them as possible. _

 

_ The man stepped up to Cian, who tilted his chin up in just the way his father taught. The man leaned in, mouth uncomfortably close to his ear and said, very, very quietly, “This will end one of two ways, Cadet Hux, either you are a Force user, or we will kill you.” _

 

_ Cian went cold. “My father would never allow that,” he said, voice wavering. _

 

_ Though he couldn’t see the man’s mouth through the red mask, he got the impression that the man was smiling. “Oh,” he said lightly, “You’d be surprised.” _

 

_ Then he was gone, walking back to the circle of light on the floor. “That was test one,” he said. “You have all failed. Begin again.”  _

 

_ The screaming was instantaneous, Cian’s voice joining his other cadets, and this shock was so much worse. Fire was spreading over his skin, and red burns were beginning to crack and peel over his arms. Arcs of blue light ripped over him, and his voice gave out with another hoarse scream before the electricity was turned off.  _

 

_ The room was filled with the sounds of sobbing, and Cian watched with shocky detachment as Kaela leaned over and vomited up dinner off to one side of her chair. The man frowned, brows drawn low over his eyes. “Again,” he said, and Cian’s world went briefly dark. _

 

_ He opened his eyes when a sharp pain burst across his face, and he blinked blearily up at the man in the mask. Cian could taste blood, and he swallowed thickly. “There is to be no sleeping during testing time,” the man said, and Cian froze. _

 

_ The room was silent but for the sound of quiet sobbing from his classmates and he curled his fingers around the arm of the chair, trying to focus. His body kept twitching out of his control, he could feel the muscles jumping randomly. _

 

_ The man in the mask turned towards a table that he hadn’t noticed before, and he came back to stand before Kaela, holding a long metal rod. He watched as the end grew red with heat, the air around the tip distorting.  _

 

_ It flashed out once, pressed against the side of Kaela’s knee. The smell of cooking meat filled the air and Cian retched, eyes filling with tears as Kaela screamed and struggled. “Please!” she shrieked, her voice rising in a horrible crescendo, “Please, please, please, stop!” _

 

_ He pulled the rod away, and a chunk of burned flesh fell from it’s end to land on the floor between their chairs. “You know how to make it stop,” he said, and he dug his thumb into the burned weal of flesh that was her knee.  _

 

_ “Stop it,” Kaela screamed again, and Cian flinched as the air grew cold, and then the man in the mask blew backward. He slammed against the wall with a grunt, and Kaela leaned forward in her seat, panting.  _

 

_ The man stood up, slowly, brushing his clothing off. “Very good, Cadet Polluck. Very good!” His eyes crinkled at the corners when he smile. “You’re the first to pass the test. Your ordeal is over now. Congratulations.” _

 

_ The sound of the laser blast was a surprise.  _

 

_ Cian looked on in horror as Kaela’s head lolled forward, her narrow chest still. The man put the blaster pistol back in his pocket, lifting the rod from where it had fallen. “But,” one of the other cadets said, voice trembling. “You said if we failed the test, we would die. She passed, you killed her but she passed!” _

 

_ “Yes,” the man drawled. “I did, didn’t I?” The end of the rod heated up again, and he stepped up towards Cian. There was little warning, as the molten metal flashed out and connected with his thigh. The material of his thin sleep pants burned immediately and for a disconnected moment it didn’t hurt at all.  _

 

_ Then the smell hit him. Charring meat and burned hair made him retch and the pain was living thing, eating away at his resolve not to scream. When he didn’t make a sound, the man pressed harder, digging the pointed tip into his thigh muscle.  _

 

_ Cian broke. “Please, pleasepleaseplease,” he begged, sobbing. “Please, it hurts! Please, make it stop!”  _

 

_ “The only way this stops is if you make it stop, Cadet Hux,” the man said calming over the sound of his sizzling flesh.  _

 

_ “Please!” Cian sobbed, twisting and crying. Snot and blood dribbled over his lips, and his leg was going numb.  _

 

_ The man pulled the rod away, shaking it out and letting the dead skin and fabric fall away from the tip. “Perhaps this isn’t the way to break you,” he said contemplatively. “We’ll try something else.” He dropped the rod to the floor and the metal clang made him flinch.  _

 

_ “I’m not a jedi,” Cian said, sniffling, and choking on his tears. “I’m not, I’m not, I swear I’m not.” _

 

_ The man pulled out his blaster pistol, spinning it in his hands. “We shall see,” he said, and shot Cian in the knee.  _

 

_ He screamed, long and loud, high pitched and broken, as blood exploded outward and dripped down his shin. The world darkened at the edges, and the man grabbed his chin roughly. “Tell me to stop, Cadet Hux,” he said.  _

 

_ “Please,” Cian whimpered, barely able to keep his eyes open. “Father, please.” _

 

_ His father’s eyes, the same color as his own, hardened. “We’ll begin again.” _

 

“Six cadets died that night,” Hux said emotionlessly. “Four of them for showing a jedi’s talents, two from the wounds my father inflicted on him. The rest of us, those that survived, were placed in a bacta tank for the next day. The instructors told the rest of the student body that we’d been tapped for a special lesson.”

 

Ren’s eyes were wide and horrified in the darkness, the whites showing all around. “And you never told anybody?” he asked.

 

Hux glanced at him before looking away. “That was also the day I first met Snoke,” he said. “He used his compulsion to keep us quiet. We were never to tell any of the other cadets, nor our parents.”

 

“And that’s how you knew,” Ren murmured. “How you knew you couldn’t have stopped that laser blast.”

 

“Yes,” Hux said. “If I could have stopped laser blasts with my mind, I’d have stopped the one that killed Cadet Kael Polluck, or the ones that broke my legs.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Ren said. “If I’d known that forging the Bond with you would have that side effect, I wouldn’t have done it.”   
  


Hux snorted a laugh, still not quite able to look Ren in the eye or move from his hunched over position. “Yes you would have,” he said. “And I’m glad for it, truly. If you hadn’t given me this Bond, I would never have gotten you back. You’d be lost to me.”

 

“I’m not sure it’ll even happen again,” he offered, which truthfully was a small consolation prize. 

 

Shrugging one shoulder, Hux sighed. “It’s alright, Ren. It could be useful, in a pinch.” He finally managed to turn and face him, searching Ren’s eyes for disgust or pity. “It already was, once. Now I know what it feels like, what to look for.”

 

Slowly, too slowly, Ren leaned up on one arm and pressed his lips to Hux’s. They kissed gently for a moment, little passion but full of heart and feeling. Ren rested his forehead on Hux’s and they breathed together for a second of silence. “I’m sorry,” he said again. 

 

Hux shook his head, staying connected to Ren, skin to skin. “Don’t be. It’s over, I survived.”

 

“Would he have… would your father have killed you, if it turned out you’d been force sensitive?” Ren asked, voice hushed.

 

“That’s the worst part about the memories,” Hux said, after a long moment. “I honestly don’t know.”

 

After another second or two, Ren urged Hux to lay back down, cradling him against his larger body. They laid there together, and the sound of the ship around them finally lulled Hux to sleep.

 

If he had nightmares, he didn’t remember them in the morning.

 

*tbc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Scene:
> 
> Hux recounts a time at the Arkanis Academy when he was ten. He is brought to a room by an older cadet who refuses to tell him what's going on. He is strapped and bound to a chair with nine other cadets, and tortured by a man wearing a red medical mask. All the cadets are electrocuted. A cadet next to Hux is burned, until she reveals that she is Force sensitive, at which point the man torturing her kills her. Hux is also burned, and shot twice with a laser pistol. The man in the red mask who is torturing him is revealed to be his father.
> 
> If there's anything I can do to help any of you, please, never hesitate to let me know. <3


	11. xi.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I… wanted to thank you,” Poe said slowly. Upon closer examination of his face, Hux realized that Dameron looked tired. The sort of tired that one got when they were plagued by heavy thoughts._
> 
> _“Thank me?” Hux asked, watching his face closely. “Whatever for?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is for Song, Sasha, Sarah, and of course Lex. If it weren't for these four (two of whom I converted) then I would never have gotten this far. Special thanks to Song for all the encouragement, and yelling at me when I wasn't writing when I should have been. Extra thanks to Lex, without whom I would have many more terrible days at work. 
> 
> As always, I can be found [at tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/), for all your needs. 
> 
> There's one phrase of Mando'a in this, and it gets translated literally immediately after. But it's a phrase I live by. 
> 
> Happy Samhain, my friends. Merry meet, merry part and merry meet again. :)

Xi.

 

Hux woke up still curled in Ren’s arms. The room was overwarm, and he irritably shoved the blankets back trying to cool down. Ren chuckled fondly above him and Hux bit his side where his mouth was closest. “Ow,” Ren said but Hux could hear his smile. “Are you planning on moving any time soon?” Ren asked him, running his fingers through Hux’s hair.

 

“No,” Hux muttered petulantly. “I’m staying in bed all day.”

 

Ren chuckled again, tugging lightly on Hux’s hair. “I have to get up though,” he said. “You’re welcome to stay in bed and sulk all day.”

 

Hux sat up sharply, scowling down at Ren. “I am not sulking,” he said.

 

Making a small pinching symbol with his thumb and forefinger, Ren grinned at him. “Little bit,” he said. “I’m not blaming you, stop scowling at me. It’s been a rough week.”

 

Sinking back down into the bed, Hux grumbled. “It’s been a rough  _ year _ .”

 

“Mm,” Ren said, agreeably. “I don’t regret it, though,” he said softly. 

 

Propping his chin on Ren’s broad chest, Hux sighed. “No, nor do I. Not really, anyway.” He pillowed his head on his hands, still leaning over Ren. “There were a few things I could have done with out,” he added, pointedly.

 

Ren winced theatrically, hauling Hux closer. “I’ve apologized for that,” he said. “Multiple times.”   
  


Hux considered biting him again, settling instead for pinching him. “Shockingly, I’m not actually talking about you in this case.” Ren pouted at him and Hux snorted, hiding his smile in the pale skin of his side. “You’re ridiculous,” he muttered fondly. “What did I ever do to get stuck with you?”

 

“Hey,” Ren said. “I’m a catch!”

 

“You’re something,” Hux said, amused. “Come on, I’m hungry.” He climbed out of bed, stepping into the ‘fresher to slick his hair back with water and rooting around for his clothing. 

 

Ren sat up in bed, finger combing through his dark tangle of hair. “Are we heading straight for the next Star Destroyer?” he wondered, absently moving Millicent off the pile of his clothing. 

 

Hux hesitated, thinking. “We ought to,” he said. “But truthfully, I don’t know how much more of these we can take. We got lucky this time, with Captain Phase - and if there is another ship that requires transport to D’Qar, we’re running out of people who can help them. Phasma is one thing, she’s used to command and transfers, and running ‘troopers.”

 

Ren frowned, thinking it over. “Finn or Tempest could do it,” he said doubtfully. 

 

“They could,” Hux agreed. “They’d do fine. But I’m less willing to send them into the nexu den than I am sending Phasma.”

 

Dressed, Ren caught Hux in a short kiss, cutting off his words. “Should we hook back up with Kiel’s fleet?” he wondered, as they exited the room. “He could help us with any dogfights and his people would be happy to fight if need be.”

 

Hux chewed on his lip. “That would work,” he said slowly. “But Kiel still has to answer to Manda’lor. And I’ve already asked a lot of him.”

 

Ren shrugged one shoulder, nudging the kitchen door open with his hip. “Kiel would be happy to help,” he pointed out. “You’re family now.  _ Aliit ori’shya tal’din _ . Family is more than blood.” Thinking of his own family made Hux’s stomach roll with a sour lilt, and he swallowed hard. “If the Galactic Senate comes for you, he’s more than willing to make you Mando’ade, you know that. You’re practically one of us already.”

 

Waving that off, Hux turned to face the caf dispenser, shoulders hunching. He didn’t want to think about the Galactic kriffing Senate. “I know,” he said quietly when it became clear that Ren expected an answer. 

 

“So…?” Ren prompted. “You don’t want to get Kiel involved for a reason,” he said. “Tell me?”

 

Hux’s shoulders slumped. “Ren, can we… take today?” he asked, the weight of a thousand worlds, and a thousand lies bearing down on him. “I’ll tell you everything tomorrow. Can we… can we just have today?”

 

Ren placed a hand low on Hux’s back, rubbing his thumb gently on the exposed skin there. “So there is something wrong,” he murmured. “I knew it.” Hux tried to keep himself from hunching even further at that. “It’s alright,” Ren murmured, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Hux’s shoulder. “We can have today.”   
  


Hux heaved a breath, more relieved than he could verbalize. “... Is everything alright?” Finn asked from behind them.

 

“Everything is fine, Finn,” Hux said instantly. “Simply waiting for the caf to dispense.” 

 

Finn hesitated, Hux could hear the shuffle of his feet. “Commander, what are we going to day?” he finally asked, and Hux turned around to face him. “Poe is wondering if he should change course,” Finn added. 

 

“No, for now, we’re going to strategize,” Hux answered him, taking a mug of caf when Ren handed it to him. “We  have two more Star Destroyers and if every General in charge is as clearly insane as Cyn was, then…” He shook his head. “We’re far less prepared than I’d like.”

 

Finn leaned against the door jamb, frowning fiercely. “What if you left me and Tempest with them?” he asked. “If… that was something we needed.”

 

Hux arched a brow, looking at Finn from behind his mug. “So eager to be rid of me, Finn?” he asked, mildly.

 

Instead of rising to the bait as he might have done a few months ago, Finn rolled his eyes. “No,” he said stubbornly. “I just… I was lucky,” he said, slow and thoughtful. “When I escaped, I had someone who trusted me  _ immediately _ , despite everything. And then, because of the part I played in… everything, I had a place, and when it turned out I was Force sensitive… it was easy to find a home.” He looked up at Hux, eyes wide and earnest. “But these other ‘troopers, like Absconder, and Phase, and anyone else… they won’t have that. They don’t know, they haven’t been exposed to what we can gave. That we’re people, and we matter. If being on a ship, if… leading them home is what helps them, then I’ll do it.”

 

“Very eloquent,” Hux said dryly. “I’m loathe to separate you and Mr. Dameron, Finn. It is not my first choice to break my - our, stop scowling Ren - crew up. Phasma was one thing, but you, Tempest, Blue… you’ve found your home. I’m hardly going to displace you now.”

 

Finn smiled. “You know, Commander,” he said. “I remember a time I thought you cold.”

 

Suppressing his first reaction to that was difficult, but Hux smirked. “Everyone in the Order is thought to be cold, Finn,” he said. “It’s how we all survive. Now. Get some breakfast then go wake the others. Or send SR to do it. We have a lot of planning to do today.”   
  


*

 

Hux leaned back in his chair, feet up on the holocommand center. “Phas,” he said, trying to keep the whine out of his voice. “You were the best one for the job!”

 

Her hologram crossed its arms and scowled down at him. Standing a full head taller than him on a good day, it was a very imposing look. “Hux, I left the Order to get away from this kriff,” she said. 

 

Blandly he said, “funny, I assumed it was because they threw you in the brig for helping me.”

 

Phasma snorted. “Close enough, I suppose.” She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “It’s not all bad,” she allowed after a second of companionable silence. “The ‘troopers are very eager to learn, and they have no trouble accepting my orders. I’ve grown unused to having my every command met with immediate and blind faith.”

 

Hux hid a smirk behind his hand. “That, I fear, is my fault. I don’t require blind loyalty.”

 

There was another beat of silence as Phasma regarded him searchingly, and her expression softened by degrees. “What happened to you, Hux?” she wondered. “You are not the same man who left the Finalizer.”

 

Thinking back to those dark days, Hux inclined his head. “I suppose I’m not,” he said without rancor. “My life has become very different.”

 

She shook her head, waving that off. “That’s not what I meant and you well know it, sir. The Hux that I served under would rather have died than join the New Republic.” 

 

That was likely true. Hux can remember having those very same thoughts himself. He hesitated, thinking his answer over. “You’re not wrong,” he said instead. “The man I was - the man I am - lived and breathed for the Order.” He looked up at her. “He paid the price for his loyalty, and I emerged from his ashes.”

 

“You could have run,” Phasma said pointedly, narrowing her eyes at him.

 

Hux snorted, vaguely amused. “I could have, yes. And I did. Joining the Republic wasn’t exactly my choice either. As one says, the Force works in mysterious ways.”

 

Phasma rolled her eyes, pulling an irritated face. “I cannot even believe you just said that,” she said dryly. 

 

He shrugged, tilting his chair back slightly. “I’m adaptable,” he said after a second. “If I couldn’t do that, I’d be dead. Trust that, if you don’t truly trust the Republic.”

 

“I don’t,” she said honestly and bluntly. “But I’ll follow you - it’s how I got into this mess in the first place. I’m still angry you stuck me on this ship alone.”   
  


Rueful, he gave her an apologetic smile. “I am sorry about that,” he admitted. “You were the best, Phas. You’ll continue being the best long after I’m gone. And General Organa likes you. I have every faith that you’ll bring the ship to D’Qar without issue.”

 

She growled, hitting the disconnect button and Hux chalked the conversation up to a win.  _ [Friend-Cian?] _

 

He looked down and scooped SR-3 off the floor, depositing her on top of the holocommand center. “Hello, little darling.”

 

_ [You have several messages on your datapad,] _ she said informatively.  _ [And Friend-Poe would like to speak to you on the bridge.] _

 

Dropping his feet back onto the floor, Hux stroked two fingers over the top of SR’s chassis, and headed towards the bridge, picking up his datapad on the way. Poe was alone, the night cycle more or less his domain. A quick check of the connections in his head showed Ren was meditating quietly in their room while Rey was asleep. “Mr. Dameron,” Hux drawled, sitting in the co-pilots chair and spinning to face Poe. “What can I do for you?”   
  


“I… wanted to thank you,” Poe said slowly. Upon closer examination of his face, Hux realized that Dameron looked  _ tired _ . The sort of tired that one got when they were plagued by heavy thoughts. 

 

“Thank me?” Hux asked, watching his face closely. “Whatever for?”

 

Setting the autopilot with a few deft hand motions, Poe turned to face Hux. “For not making me join you on the Kestrel.”

 

Narrowing his eyes slightly, Hux thought about it, mentally rewinding to recall the exact conversation. “Though you’re welcome, I didn’t do it for any specific purpose. I needed Rey, and you’re the best pilot.”   
  


Poe nodded, looking a little resigned. “I’m aware,” he said dryly. “I know that it’s not something we talk about often, what Revan did to me - and to you, I imagine. I don’t want to remember, and I don’t like being reminded. Seeing that ship; being pulled onto that ship just… it brought up a lot of memories.”

 

_ Ah. _ That, Hux can relate to. “I understand,” he said slowly, relaxing back in the seat. “Yes,” he mused. “Being on the Kestrel was like stepping backwards in time. It wasn’t something I particularly enjoyed.”

 

“You don’t strike me as the type to have nightmares,” Poe said, not unkindly. 

 

Hux snorted. “I don’t,” he replied honestly. “I sleep well, now.”

 

Laughing quietly, Poe shook his head. “I sleep alright,” he said, the ‘ _ now _ ’ largely unspoken but heard all the same. “I just wanted to thank you, even if it wasn’t intentional, for keeping me off the ship.”   
  


“I wouldn’t wish Revan’s punishments on anyone, Mr. Dameron,” he said quietly. “I won’t bring you onto any Star Destroyers.”

 

They were silent for a second, watching the white lines of passing stars companionably. “Can I ask you a favor?” Poe asked after several minutes had passed.

 

“You can ask,” Hux said indulgently, amused at the question.

 

Poe licked his lips, turning to face Hux fully. “Don’t leave Finn on one of them either.”

 

Considering he’d just been talking about how to get any of the other Destroyers back to D’Qar, Hux snorted. “Fine,” he said. “I’m open to suggestions.”

 

Dameron shrugged. “I don’t know. Ask the Mandalorians, maybe?”

 

“That does seem to be the only option,” Hux muttered. “Alright, Mr. Dameron, you win. Finn will be safe from his memories, and we will avoid our own.”   
  


Poe held out a hand. 

 

Hux stared at it for a long second before offering his own, shaking on it. “Thank you,” Poe said seriously, fingers warm against Hux’s cool skin. He held on for a second longer before turning back to the console, and turning off the autopilot. “I’ve set a course for Bakura, for now. It’s the closest inhabited planet that might be friendly.”

 

Considering the only other planet Hux could think of was either the homeworld of the Order, or the home galaxy of the Chiss, that was probably a good plan. “Good work,” he said. “I’ve got some messages to answer, and then I’m heading to bed. Rey should be awake to relieve you in a few hours.”

 

Doing his rounds quickly, Hux checked in on Rey and Blue, finding them fast asleep, then looking on Tempest found SR-3 in his blankets with him. HK stood sentinel in front of their door, and Finn was asleep with the door to his room open, blankets on the floor. 

 

Hux let himself into the bedroom, sliding it closed quietly so as not to disturb Ren. Despite the  _ snick _ sound it made, Ren didn’t react, breathing gently and evenly. He was kneeling in the middle of the bed, so Hux sat down at the desk, crossing his legs at the ankle. 

 

His datapad was full of messages, most easily ignored. There were two from Phasma that were low priority - mostly lists of ‘trooper names and designations, and the other was the old ship’s log from the Kestrel dated from the day they left Arkanis, to a few days before Odala Cyn had taken over. There were years of information packed into the data file and Hux forwarded it to SR-3’s stream for sorting. 

 

There was also an update from Luke, on testing and the genetic makeup of the Ysalamir, which Hux forwarded straight to Ren and Rey. He read through a quick letter from Sasha, the red leader who was acting in Poe’s stead, as she described a few dogfights they’d had above Yavin-4, thanking him for teaching the x-wings more advanced maneuvers before he’d left.

 

There was a message from Kiel which he replied to quickly, asking for a meet up in the space around Bakura in three galactic days, and scanned over Sylar’s mission report about ‘troopers fleeing to Dantooine looking for shelter.

 

It seemed like the entire galaxy was in complete and utter upheaval. It made Hux’s stomach hurt.

 

The last message he looked at was from his mother.

 

_ [My dearest Son, General Leia informed me of the altercation you had on Lothal with Brendol. I am so sorry, my dearest boy. I know that we did not speak long when you were home last, and that our relationship may never fully recover from what has been done to us, but know that I wish you all the luck in the galaxy. You are my  _ son _ , and though you share his DNA as well, remember that while you will always be a Hux, you are also Whelan. Take care of yourself, and your sister. Love, your mother.] _

 

He tapped the reply button but couldn’t come up with a reply. 

 

It had been so many years, he had no idea how to reply to his mother. He’d always been better at verbal conversation than at written communication. 

 

_ [Mother,]  _ he started slowly, frowning in concentration.  _ [I’m fine. I survived Lothal, and my injuries, just as I survived father’s appearance and subsequent visit. He can’t hurt me anymore. I am well protected (you should have seen Ren when they met, it was truly a sight). Though seeing him brought up many memories, none of them pleasant, it’s good to know that while I have gone through fire and come out the better for it, Brendol Hux hasn’t changed even the slightest bit. I know that for many years I fashioned him as my lodestar, but please be assured, my North has changed direction. We’ve finished with the first Star Destroyer - a message for another time, I think - and are now planning to meet up with the Mandalorian fleet for fire support. Don’t worry about me, mother. I always land on my feet. Love, your son.] _

 

He sent it before he could read it over and second guess himself. 

 

Blue would be proud of him, he thought, amused. He quickly typed up his report about the Kestrel, sending it over to SR-3 for distribution. She would know the official channels better than he did. He sent off a quick letter to Ganna, Sylar and Kiel together, informing them that despite all they’ve heard, he and Ren were not married, but that Ren had officially asked him.

 

On a whim, Hux wrote a quick note to Leia and Luke as well, assuming that once Ganna knew, the entire galaxy would find out. He kept it short and sweet, accepting that Luke would gloat over the whole situation for the rest of their lives.

 

It took several minutes to read over Day and Tens’ updates on the Stormtrooper Recovery Program, considering that it had been several months since he was physically involved in it. He also sent them a quick message warning them about the incoming survivors from both Lothal and the Kestrel. 

 

He was thinking about replying to Sasha’s message when a high priority alert splashed over his screen. Hux blinked, a little blinded by the sudden red flashing light, and opened the message, beyond curious.

 

Hux went cold. 

 

Hux lowered the datapad to his lap, staring down at it without really seeing it. “Cian?” Ren asked, and Hux dragged his eyes up to meet Ren’s. 

 

He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “It’s begun,” he said, softly, and held up the datapad so Ren could see.

 

A picture of himself, smiling at someone off screen, hair still tipped in black, and too long for his pale face filled the alert. **WANTED** the alert proclaimed in yellow writing, large and eye catching. **For crimes against the New Republic, issued 30ABY. Wanted alive for trial. Last seen fleeing into the Unknown Regions.** It was signed by the Galactic Senate.

 

Whatever time Leia’s political machinations had bought them, they’d just run out.

 

*tbc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hold on to your butts, darlings.


	12. xii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The hologram popped up immediately and Luke looked pained. “Cian,” he greeted tightly. “You know this the last time we can talk.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Sasha, Lex, and Song. As usual, you three are ever my support. Also for wittyusernamed, because your conversation helped me finish this chapter, despite your distress over my warnings.
> 
> Some Mando'a for you all:
> 
> lek lek - yeah (formal is 'elek)  
> Duumir par kebbu - Let them try. (lit. allow for an attempt)
> 
> #sorrynotsorry  
> #theauthorregretsnothing
> 
> I love you all. Please breathe.

Xii.

 

“We need to get out of here,” Ren shouted, heading for the cockpit, half dressed and completely livid. His anger was nearly a living thing, the Force snapping off him in waves. Hux scrambled after him, fully prepared to stop him before he scandalized someone. “Poe!” Ren cried, and Hux winced at the quality of his voice, how broken it sounded.

 

Dameron appeared in the doorway of the cockpit, alarmed and wide eyed. “What?” he said, with rising fear. “What’s wrong?”

 

The datapad was yanked out of his hands by unseen fingers, and Hux scowled fiercely at Ren’s back. “This,” Ren said and used the Force to shove the ‘pad into Poe’s chest. 

 

Scanning it quickly, Poe looked up. “Commander?” he asked, voice blank. 

 

Hux cleared his throat. “It seems as though my usefulness as been outweighed by my crimes, Mr. Dameron,” he said crisply. 

 

Ren backed up a step and pressed himself against Hux’s front, as though to protect him. “Poe, you need to set a course for Wild Space, somewhere,  _ anywhere. _ ”

 

Dameron hesitated. 

 

The feeling of the Force grew in intensity, and Hux dug his fingers into Ren’s hip. “ _ No _ ,” he snapped. “You will not compel your friends to hide me, when they are New Republic themselves. If Mr. Dameron choses to turn me in, he will be doing the  _ right thing  _ by his people.” 

 

Whirling, Ren stared at him betrayed. “You said you’d run,” he whispered.

 

“I will, I  _ am.  _ But I will not take anyone who is unwilling with me.” Hux glanced over Ren’s shoulder at Poe, who had transferred his gaze down to the datapad. “This was ever the flaw in our plan, Ren,” Hux murmured, reeling him to press their foreheads together. “We were always going to be on opposite sides when it came down to the wire.” He smiled, trying to keep the bitterness from the expression. “We found the wire.”

 

Ren shuddered, his skin damp and cold where it touched Hux’s. “Poe,” he said, though he didn’t turn, “ _ Please. _ ”

 

Hux met Poe’s eyes over the top of Ren’s head. Poe looked torn, the turmoil written all over his face. “It’s alright, Mr. Dameron,” Hux murmured, tightening his grip on the back of Ren’s neck. “Do as you must.”

 

Dameron cleared his throat, rubbing his mouth with one hand. “Wild Space, you said?” he said, voice a little hoarse. 

 

Ren spun, dislodging Hux’s hand in order to cross the hall and hug Poe. The embrace was hard and tight, judging by Poe’s grunt. Hux withdrew, heading to the holocommand center and pulling up a list of contacts. “Connect me to Kiel, please, SR,” he said gently. 

 

Almost instantly, Kiel’s form appeared above the console. “We’ve heard,” he said dryly. “What do you need from us?” he asked. 

 

Hux blinked, thrown off course. “I assumed I’d be saying my goodbyes,” he said after a second. “After all, I’m guilty of the crimes they’re listing.”

 

Kiel waved a hand, brushing away Hux’s words. “Lek lek,” he said, his tone so laughably dismissive that Hux had to stop himself from staring. “What?” he asked. “The Mando’ade are loyal to you and Ren, not the disaster that’s the New Republic. We helped them because  _ Ren  _ asked.”

 

He hadn’t thought of that. “I see,” he said. “In that case, you may wish to destroy any records you have of my involvement with your people,” he said slowly. “The New Republic can’t afford to call war down on your heads, but it’s better to be safe, I think.”   
  


The grin that Kiel sent him was all teeth. “Duumir par kebbur,” he said, darkly. When Hux still couldn’t muster up more than a blankly shocked look, Kiel’s smile lost the sharp quality to be replaced with something much more uncertain. “You didn’t expect that,” he said needlessly. 

 

Hux inclined his head, avoiding Kiel’s eyes. “No,” he admitted with little shame. “I did not.” 

 

“What are you going to do?” he wondered, watching Hux carefully. 

 

“The thing I am best at,” Hux answered, glancing behind him at the cockpit. “Running.” He turned back to Kiel, resolve hardening. “You may want to burn whatever bridges you have with me on in the holonet, it’ll keep you from being too suspect.”

 

Kiel nodded once. “I agree. Good luck, Cian.” He leaned forward to turn off the call and hesitated, looking back up at Hux. “I know you won’t accept the offer,” he said dryly, “but when things go poorly, if things do, you can come to Dxun. They’ll never find you with us.” He cut off the transmission before Hux could respond. 

 

There was a slight judder from the ship, and Hux felt the moment they hit warp, and he steadied himself against the holocommand center. “Luke, next please,” he told SR-3 who had rolled up to lean on his wrist. 

 

The hologram popped up immediately and Luke looked pained. “Cian,” he greeted tightly. “You know this the last time we can talk.”

 

Hux nodded, a rueful smile falling over his face. “I know. I’m going to miss our chats,” he said blandly. “I was calling… because I wanted you to pass on a message for me.” Luke nodded, looking anxious. “Tell Leia that I’m doing what she asked,” he said and it was through sheer force of will that his voice didn’t shake or give away how angry he was still about the fact that she had asked.

 

Luke’s expression told him that despite how controlled he’d kept his voice, he knew how Hux felt about it. He nodded once. “Thank you, Cian,” he said gently. “Good luck.”

 

Hux closed the connection without replying. He turned around to find Ren standing there with a strange look on his face. “What did mom ask you to do?” he asked. 

 

“Your mother,” Hux said slowly, “asked me to download all the information I have on the First Order into a drive, so that if the worse comes to pass, they still have the names of the Star Destroyers and all the personnel I can remember. It’s a… worst case scenario.” 

 

Ren’s eyes narrowed but he nodded. “Poe set a course for Ilum,” he said without commenting on Hux’s information. “Ilum is strong in the Force, we can hide there.”

 

Something old and military chafes inside Hux at the thought of hiding but he shoves it down. He couldn’t quite make himself thank Ren for it, but he stepped up to him, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m sorry,” he said. 

 

Ren took one of Hux’s hands and folded something into it. When Hux opened his hand, he found a ring, made of twisted wire and a shining red gem. He raised an incredulous eyebrow at Ren. “What’s this?” he asked.

 

Giving Hux a baleful look, Ren said, “It’s a ring, Cian.” He touched the metal loop with one finger. “I made it, out of corellian silver, and the red gem is a chipped part of a lightsaber crystal. The one I used when Snoke had me. I thought it was fitting.”

 

It was, and it hurt Hux’s chest a little to slip it onto a finger. It fit perfectly, just tight enough not to slip when Hux dropped his hand to his side. “I love you,” he said softly and the smile that lit up Ren’s face was worth the difficulty he had in saying it. 

 

“Come on,” Ren said, tugging him towards the cockpit. “We’ll get to Ilum. It’ll be alright.”

 

*

 

They didn’t make it to Ilum.

 

Or, rather they did, but it wasn’t alright. As soon as they dropped out of hyperdrive, appearing above Ilum’s icy wastes, there were two prison barges waiting for him. 

 

_ “General Hux,” _ an unfamiliar voice said through their communication link. “ _ We thought you’d try to hide here, _ ” he continued.  _ “Captain Ren, due to your position, we will only ask once: give up the General. _ ”

 

Ren’s face was like thunder and he reached for the communication button before Poe and Rey caught his wrist. “Don’t do anything rash,” Poe cautioned. “We can fool them, perhaps, they don’t know for certain that Cian is still aboard.”

 

Hux tightened his fingers on the back of Rey’s chair. The metal creaked and she turned to look at him.  _ Cian?  _ She asked, her face worried.

 

He licked his lips, his throat suddenly dry.  _ This isn’t going to work _ , he said, instead. 

 

Her expression morphed from worried to sad.  _ I know _ , she answered him.  _ But he has to try something.  _

 

“Finn,” Ren said quietly. “Go down to the plasma cannon and fire on them.”

 

“What?” chorused Rey and Hux. “Ren!”

 

Ren turned to face Hux. “They’ve all got tractor beams,” he said, eyes wild. “We can’t jump out of here, and no one is going to believe I just dropped you off somewhere.”

 

Finn hesitated in the doorway, half in the cockpit, half out. “Commander?” he asked.

 

Hux sighed. “Belay that,” he said to Finn gently. “Ren, think this through, please. Currently they’re only looking for me, they’re not looking for Blue, Temp, or Finn. But they could very easily arrest them for many of the same crimes that they’re charging me with.”

 

“We have to do something,” Ren protested. 

Inhaling slowly, trying to calm his racing heart, Hux made his choice. Leia did say he’d know what to do when the time came. "No," Hux said gently, stilling Ren with a hand on his arm. "Enough. Mr. Dameron, do lower the shields."    
  
They both stared at him in shock though Poe leaned over and hit the lever to allow the Untouchable's shields to drop. "Cian, what...?" Ren burst out. "You're giving up?"   
  
Hux's lip curled. "Careful, Ren," he drawled, shutting down all expression on his face. "You can neither afford to nor fight off the New Republic. Don't be a fool."   
  
"You said you'd run!" Ren cried desperately.    
  
"I did," Hux said. "I ran. Clearly, I failed to run as fast or as far as I needed to. It's over, Ren. I'm finished.  _ We're _ finished." The tractor beam shot out and dragged them slowly, inexorably forward. He was running out of time.    
  
"We're finished?" Ren repeated, voice cracked down the middle. "What does that mean?"   
  
Hux took a deep breath, ignoring the eyes of his friends and crew. He tugged the ring Ren had given him off his hand, folding it into Ren's lax grip. "It means," he said with empty blandness, "that I will not tie you to a dead man. HK, get my weapons."   
  
The droid hesitated before leaving the room with only a mumbled invective. Ren's face was frozen, his knuckles white with rage. "You can't do this," he snarled with quiet certainty.   
  
"You'll thank me one day, Ben," he said and turned his back on the man he loved. "Mr. Dameron, open the ramp, if you please."   
  
"Aye, General," Poe answered and the loathing in his voice almost made Hux falter. This was the point. This was what Leia had demanded he do. He would not fail; a Hux endured.

  
"Rey," he said, not risking a touch. "You're the only one who can raise the honor of the Hux's now." Her mouth tightened but she nodded. He offered her a small smile. “Take care of Millie for me.”   
  
Finn, Tempest and Blue stood in the hall, all with varying degrees of shock on their faces. "Good bye, sir," Tempest said and his eyes promised retribution. Blue covered her face with her hands, and her sobbing made the knot in Hux's stomach sharpen to a stabbing pain.   
  
A Hux endured, he repeated to himself, and stepped past Finn. "Commander," he said and Hux paused on the threshold to the bay. "I see what you did, even if they don't. I'm sorry."   
  
"You're sorry," Hux repeated. "For what?"   
  
Finn touched his elbow gently. "Your loss. Good luck, Commander."   
  
Hux laced his fingers together, placing them on the top of his head and stepped through the door to face the oncoming New Republic soldiers.    
  
A Hux endured.   
  


HK stepped up behind him, the chilled metal of his chassis pressed against the back of Hux’s arm. “I have your weapons, meatbag,” he said, a hissing snap under his words. Hux could feel Ren come up to the doorway, blocking the rest of the ship with his body. 

 

As soon as the ramp lowered to the floor, a New Republic general stepped up to them, several soldiers of varying races behind him, visibly armed to the teeth. Hux tilted his chin up and refused to look away from them. “You made a good choice,” the man said. “General Cian Hux, you’re under arrest for your crimes against the New Republic, and the murder of the citizens in the Hosnian System.”

 

The Force grew dangerously, and Hux closed his eyes briefly.  _ Ren, please, _ he said softly, touching their minds together for what might be the last time.  _ I couldn’t bear it if you went down with me.  _

 

“I submit,” Hux said out loud, lowering his hands from on top of his head, to be shackled, moving slowly enough. “The protocol droid behind me has been given all my weapons, so you know I’m unarmed.” 

 

HK stepped forward with him, passing off the weaponry. “Excuse me,” the droid said, and everything that made him HK was scrubbed from his vocal modifier. “I really must insist that I go with you, Master Hux.”

 

The Force drained out of the room so fast it made Hux a little dizzy, even as he stared at HK in shock. “Wh..?” he started to ask, but HK leapt in and spoke over him.

 

“You recorded all the information on the First Order into my data stream,” HK said, his tone just an easy reminder, instead of the scathing sarcasm of his normal voice. It was also a total lie. “It would make quite a bit more sense to take me with you now, instead of relying on Captain Ren to bring me back to D’Qar.”

 

The New Republic general sighed, waving HK forward. “Take the droid,” he said, annoyed. “Captain Solo, you’ll be called for the trial, I’m certain. You should go back to D’Qar and speak with General Organa. Thank you for your cooperation.”

 

The shackles were very cold around his wrists.  _ I’m sorry, Ren _ , he said, unable to help himself.  _ Goodbye.  _

 

Ren didn’t answer.

 

*

 

Hux stood alone in a cell, HK stationed just outside the door. “HK?” he asked, still confused. 

 

“I wasn’t going to let you go alone,  _ meatbag _ ,” he said sharply. “If you were planning on going through with this, Master will need me with you. You’re  _ clearly _ not intelligent enough alone.”

 

Hux snorted softly, sitting down on the bed. “Well thank you,” he said. “I’m certain you’ll be bored out of your mind without anyone to shoot.”

 

HK turned his head to face Hux. “I could always shoot  _ you _ , meatbag.”

 

Inclining his head, Hux agreed. “That might be preferable,” he murmured. “To whatever my father and the Galactic Senate has planned for me.”

 

That made the droid turn around to face him. “If it comes to that,” HK said, “I would shoot you.” 

 

“Thank you, HK.” 

 

The general who had arrested him came through the door to the main room, and HK turned back around, all expression gone. Hux stood at attention, hands behind his back, shoulders stiff. “General,” the man said. “I am Wedge Antilles, the general of this ship. I wanted to thank you for your cooperation.”

 

“Of course, General,” Hux said, nodded sharply. “We are neither of us fools, and a battle would have only ended poorly for both our people. My sister was aboard the Untouchable. I couldn’t endanger her.”

 

Antilles nodded back. “I’m no interrogator,” he said. “So I can promise you that you will reach Coruscant unharmed.”

 

“I appreciate your candor, General,” Hux replied. “There’s been enough death, don’t you think?”

 

Antilles sighed. “Yeah,” he said informally, “I’m pretty tired of it myself.” He sat down in one of the chairs, without touching distance of HK. “I was there the day the blew up the Death Star,” he said. “After Alderaan, I didn’t think the Empire could get much worse.”

 

Hux was used to feeling the deaths of the Hosnian System on his conscience - Revan had put them there, and later so had Leia. He wasn’t used to the pulse of shame that accompanied it. “I thought I recognized your name,” he said.

 

“I’m not surprised,” Antilles said, running his fingers through brown hair shot through with silver and grey.  “I read about what you did, to the Aristarchus. It was a good move, politically.”

 

He waved that off. “I didn’t do it for the political clout,” he said. “I did it because of Ren.”

 

Antilles gazed at him, brown eyes considering. “I can respect that.” He looked like he was going to launch into some kind of speech before the ship suddenly jerked hard and the subtle whine of electronics dying filled the air. 

 

They exchanged a look and Antilles stood up, hitting the intercom button. “Captain, what just happened?” he asked.

 

There was another whine of electronics and then the Captain said, “Antilles, we’re under attack!” 

 

Hux had to grip the bars to keep his feet when the ship shuddered again. 

 

The shields died with an audible whine, and HK had to duck out of the way of a falling piece of the ceiling. “General…” Hux warned but another blast knocked them all off their feet. When Hux scrambled to his feet, Antilles was across the room, a pool of blood around his head. “HK,” he barked. “Get me out of here!” 

 

HK swung around, blaster rifle in hands and shot the lock off the door. “Meatbag, you must move quickly. There are escape pods up one level.” 

 

Hux ducked around the door. “How do you even know that?” he asked, and made for where Antilles was lying. A quick check of his pulse showed him that the general was still alive, and Hux hauled him over his shoulder. “Let’s go, you lead the way.” 

 

“This way, meatbag.” They ran as fast as the shaking ship allowed, as blast after blast hit them. 

 

They reached the escape pods uncontested, finding several already empty. “Help me,” Hux demanded, moving Antilles into one of the ones still on the ship. The ship shook hard, and out of one the transparisteel windows, Hux could see a planet looming far too close to their position. 

 

The ship was going to crash land, and soon. Something next to them exploded and Hux flinched away from the ensuing firestorm. 

 

Flames licked at his arms, scorching his sleeve and skin as he jettisoned the escape pod holding the unconscious Antilles. Whirling, ducking a falling piece of the hull, Hux wrapped tight fingers around HK's upper arm. "Get into a pod!" He shouted over the screaming wind, shearing metal and roaring flames.    
  
Overheated metal fingers gripped his tightly, HK's eyes glowing bright in the flickering light. "Not without you, meatbag!" He shouted back, static and panic entwined. Together they lurched across the room, and Hux shoved HK into the pod just in time for another plasma blast to rip a hole between them. HK's eye lights widened and then narrowed. "Master, no!" He cried and Hux hit the button, sealing him off. Pod away, Hux braced himself for impact.    
  
He was flung forward, ribs snapping audibly under the pressure of the crash, the transparisteel Windows shattering inward, rippling over his exposed skin. The Prison Barge rocked to a stop, sending Hux sliding to the floor in a graceless heap.    
  
Carefully, he levered up onto his knees, looking at the carnage around him. Another blast shook the ship, plasma dripping down through the hull above him. Hux looked up, and the entire ceiling dropped down, durasteel, plasma and fire. He didn't even have enough breath to cry out; the agony wiped  _ everything _ away.

 

*tbc


	13. xiii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Her door slammed open a half second later, and Sasha stumbled in, eyes wide and wild. "General," she said and her voice was cracked and hoarse. "There's been word."_
> 
>  
> 
> _"Ah," Leia said. "They made good time to Coruscant."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY, LEX <3 (It was Lex's birthday a few days ago and you almost got this a few days early in answer, but I really wanted to tweak the ending.)
> 
> This is a bit shorter than usual, on account of Dishonored 2 and also being sick as hell. 
> 
> Special thanks to Sasha, Song, Sarah, and Troodon, who have been the most amazing of friends through everything. <3
> 
> As ever, I can be found on [tumblr,](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/) for all your needs. 
> 
> I'm sorry, I am so sorry.

xiii.

 

"What do you mean there's nothing you can do?" He shouted, hands fisted at his sides. "Mother! They took him away!"  
  
Leia’s face was pinched and sad in a way that made Ren's stomach hurt. "I know they did, sweetheart," she said. "We planned for this."   
  
Ren felt all his limbs flash freeze. "That was planned?" He asked, deceptively quiet.   
  
The lines on his mother's face creased deeper. "Yes, Ren. There were threats. We'd decided he'd give himself up if it came to that. I ordered him not to tell you."   
  
Ren slammed his hand down on her desk. "Thanks for that," he snarled, and left Hux's ring when he wheeled away. "He left the ship. He left /me/."   
  
"He was trying to protect you," Leia said gently. "I'm sorry you can't see that."   
  
"We could have protected each other!" Ren protested, still giving her his back. "Mom, please."   
  
Her chair scraped the floor when she stood and her hand, warm and heavy landed on his arm. "I am sorry, Ren," she said again. "You'll see him again."   
  
Her door slammed open a half second later, and Sasha stumbled in, eyes wide and wild. "General," she said and her voice was cracked and hoarse. "There's been word."   
  
"Ah," Leia said. "They made good time to Coruscant."   
  
Sasha shook her head, eyes too bright and Ren inhaled sharply. "What happened?" He demanded.   
  
"Red Squad and Blue Squad has been patrolling the area between Ilum and Coruscant, Captain," she answered. "The prison barge went down over some planet I don't know the name of. The only survivor is the General in charge of the ship. And..."   
  
"Out of my way, meatbag," HK snarled, and strode into the room on Sasha's heels. "Master," he greeted Ren. If a droid could look sheepish and rueful, HK would be a perfect vision of it. His shoulders were hunched, metal fingers curled into fists. "The meatbag.." HK cut himself off, red eyes dimming. "Master Hux is dead."   
  
"What."   
  
"The Barge was attacked. We rescued the meatbag General, and made for the escape pods." HK looked away, shoulders rising defensively. "Master put me into a pod, and he sent me away, staying on the ship as it crashed."   
  
"Then he could still be alive," Ren said, clinging desperately to any hope he could.   
  
HK looked up. "I did not make it far from the crash. When I came online again, I searched. I found his body, master."

 

Ren’s limbs flash froze, and he could barely hold himself up. Was this how Hux had felt, when Finn and Rey had returned from Revan’s ship to tell him of Ren’s death? He swallowed hard, tasting sour bile. “Are you sure?” he asked, and his voice cracked tellingly.

 

“He…” HK said slowly, static popping at the end of his syllables, “He was nearly unrecognizable,” he said. “The engine core blew when the ship crashed, and Master Hux was caught in a firestorm.” Ren flinched, closing his eyes. “I recognized him by the color of his hair,” HK murmured. “And his rifle, which I had given him.”

 

That was it. Ren’s legs gave out from under him, and he folded like a stack of pazaak cards. His mother rounded the desk in four steps, reaching out for him but it was HK who got there first. “HK,” Ren murmured.

 

Sasha cleared her throat. “Begging your pardon, but we found the footage of the last five minutes or so of the Barge,” she said quietly. “Poe and SR-3 are going over it right now, if you’d like to join them.”

 

Ren nods, mute, and cold and reaching out with everything he had to find Hux’s mind. He follows Sasha and the others down the hall, out into the plaza and across towards the X-wing officers lounge. Luke, Rey and Finn were waiting outside the door, Rey’s eyes red and afraid.

 

“Did you watch it?” Ren asked her dully.

 

She nodded in response, face twisting. Finn put an arm around her shoulders, holding her close. Luke touched them both on the arm before falling into step with Ren. “It could be a trick,” Luke murmured in consolation.

 

Ren shook his head sharply. “Just let me see the kriffing holocam,” he spat out, choking back tears and a wail of grief with sheer determination.

 

Poe was dry eyed but transparently pale, when they arrived inside the lounge. SR-3 made a noise that sounded like a scream and threw herself down to the floor, rolling helter-skelter across the floor until Ren picked her up, holding her close.

 

As soon as they’d all filed into the room, Poe reached over and without speaking, pressed the button to play the holocam.

 

The angle started out poorly, clearly from an outside cam as it focused on the way the Barge entered the atmosphere. The shields failed before their eyes, as the heat and angle from entering the planet burned away whatever the plasma bolts had spared. A moment later, a swooping craft appeared from out of the cloud cover, firing multiple bolts into the underbelly of the Prison Barge. An escape pod spun away a second later, and HK said quietly, “that was the meatbag.”

 

Another second later and the Prison Barge was thrown into sharp detail as the camera zoomed in. A second pod spun off into the distance and Ren glanced at HK. “You?” he asked, and HK nodded once. The pod cleared the circumference of the ship just in time, as the huge ship slammed into the ground.

 

There were dents in the back of Poe’s chair, his fingers fitting into the grooves with a hard, sharp ache. In his other hand, Hux's ring sliced into his palm but Ren could barely feel it.

 

He watched, blank and empty as the prison barge fell slowly backwards from the nose dive it had been in. Just before it could even itself, another plasma bolt slammed into it, rocking the ship sideways.

 

Ren had known immediately when Hux had closed the connection between them. He’d done it on the ship, pulling away all his awareness and leaving Ren as far away as possible. Tentatively, faced with the destruction in front of him, Ren reached out and touched the dormant Bond inside his head. Pain thundered through him as the connection in his head collapsed in on itself, slowly as though in disbelief. It was a matter of moments, but then, Ren was alone in his head.  
  
Hux was dead. Ren absorbed this knowledge in cold, unhappy shock. For a brief shining second, he had hoped. Despair slashed at his chest until it felt like he was torn and bloody. Then it turned inside, desolate and trapped inside Ren's ribs, and ate his heart.

 

*

 

Luke found him several hours later, hidden in the trees of his meditation grove. He didn’t comment on Ren’s bloody fists, nor the dents in the bark of the surrounding wood and bark. He sat instead, just in front of Ren, settling himself into a proper meditation pose. “Join me,” he prompted gently.

 

Ren scoffed, shaking his head. “I’ve been trying for hours,” he muttered.

 

There was a short pause, before he felt Luke’s hands, one cool and metal the other cool and skin, on each of his wrists. “Will you let me help?” he questioned, no emotion in his voice other than gentleness. “Or would you prefer I stay out of it?”

 

Laughing bitterly, Ren shrugged. “You don’t want to be in here with me,” he said, looking away. “ _I_ don’t want to be in here with me.”

 

Luke took that as permission, and the Force ran along his hands, pulling Ren into a meditative state with a kindness he didn’t think he deserved.

 

Ren lost awareness, sinking deep into the healing trance, letting his Uncle pour over the connections and synapses inside his head, holding nothing closed. Everything was laid bare without Hux there inside him. (What he’d done to Felix - twice - and how many people he’d killed to keep himself safe, all open and vulnerable for Luke’s judgement and disapproval.)

 

Instead, Luke closed away the secrets, folding them up into their boxes and putting them away, leading Ren through his meditation like he’d done on Dagobah.

 

Hours, or perhaps minutes later, Ren opened his eyes to find Luke gazing at him sadly. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I know how much you…” He trailed off. “I’m sorry,” he said again instead, sensing not incorrectly that the word _love_ was verboten.   
  
Ren couldn’t speak for a second, his throat tight and filled with hot lead. “I…” he choked out. “I gave him a ring.” He held out his hand, letting the loop fall to the ground. “He gave it back.” _And then he died_ , echoed between them for an instant before the thought faded.

 

Luke seemed to think for a minute before he sighed. “We’ve gotten some information,” he said carefully.

 

Sharply, Ren looked up, feeling the Force crackle around him. “Tell me.”

  
"It seems the attack on the Barge was led by a faction of ex-Stormtroopers who protested the fall of their brethren," Luke said. "There have been disturbances, and they seem to be the leading cause."   
  
The Force welled up around them, Ren's face a thundercloud of rage and grief. His eyes, brown but for a ring of gold nearly glowed with the power he was generating.   
  
"Ren," Luke said sharply. "Even more in this time, you must be wary of the pull of the Dark Side!"   
  
There was a second of silence as Ren breathed in great lungfuls of air. "The dark side?" He repeated, and his voice was mocking. "I have no fear of the dark side." His eyes flickered gold once, twice, and were still. "I'll keep your warnings under advisement, Uncle."   


“Ren!” Luke bellowed, and the snap of the Force is a rebuke. “Our family has always done this!” He fisted his metal hand into Ren’s shirt, showcasing the injury. “I lost my arm chasing after a dream and a lie. Do not make my mistakes.”

 

“I won’t,” Ren said, and the flashfire of his rage has settled into a cold, icy fury that simmered just beneath his skin.

 

Luke let go of his shirt, flexing his hand stiffly. “Just be careful, Ren,” Luke murmured.

 

Ren curled his lip up. “Careful, Uncle?” he spat, standing and shaking off Luke’s attempts to stop him. “You’ve been careful all your life.” He knew he was treading a fine line, but the anger in him was strong - stronger than the shaky discipline he’d never fully learned.  “Don’t you dare judge me for my desires when you won’t even act on your own!”

 

His uncle’s eyes narrowed. “Careful, Ren,” he warned.

 

The words drove another spike into Ren’s already fractured chest. “What?” he asked, lashing and striking and _hurting._ “You think I didn’t notice what you feel for my father? You have no room to speak to me of carefulness. At least I’m not a coward.”

 

He shook off the grasping feeling of Luke’s Force power and stormed out of the clearing. He made it all the way back to the courtyard, when Rey’s mind slammed into him with all the force of a rampaging terentatek. _What_ he snapped back.

 

 _Incoming_ , she warned frantically, and when Ren entered the sleeping quarters, he found Niamh Hux standing by his door.

 

He took a startled step back. “Ms. Hux,” he said, and floundered for something to say.

 

“My son is dead,” she said hollowly. “A mother should never be forced to bury her children, Captain. Will you tell me?”

 

Ren swallowed, throat scraping harshly. “Tell you what?”  


“If it was quick,” Niamh said, stepping in close as Ren opened the door to his bedroom. He’d been set to give her a pretty lie - despite Hux’s insistence that he was a terrible liar, he wasn’t willing to tell his mother how Hux had died. He took a deep breath and nearly choked on it when all he could smell was Hux’s blend of aftershave in the room.

 

“It was quick,” Ren murmured, still inhaling slowly. “He probably felt no pain. He saved two lives, including a companion of mine that I’ve known since I was a child. Your son is a hero, Ms. Hux.” He looked down at the holocomm on the edge of the desk. “I’m sorry,” he added.

 

“So am I,” Niamh said, and she disappeared out the door a second later, closing it behind her. Ren warned Rey with another nudge that she might get a visit soon, even as he cued up Kiel’s address on the personal comm.

 

“Su cuy’gar,” Kiel answered brightly, and the unconcerned tone in his voice told Ren immediately that he hadn’t been informed. “Ren? What’s wrong?” he asked when Ren didn’t speak right away.

 

Ren swallowed hard, tasting bile and blood from the inside of his bitten lip. “Something happened,” he said slowly. “I… The Galactic Senate came for Cian.”

 

Kiel swore low and vicious in Mando’a, leaning in close to the comm unit. “Do you need a pick up somewhere?” he asked, keeping his voice even. “What do you need from me?”

 

“No,” Ren said, trying to keep the anger and bitterness out of his voice. “Cian gave himself up. He went with the New Republic willingly.” As Kiel stared at him, Ren said, “and then the prison warship was attacked.”

 

Kiel reeled back. “Nayc!” he snarled. “Who?”

 

He shrugged. “We’re not all that sure,” Ren answered. “Ex-Stormtroopers, Luke says. He’s looking into it.” He swallowed again, the lump in his throat expanding. “The barge crash landed, and... Kiel, it was kyramla. Cian is gone.”  


There was a long pause, as Kiel stared at him, before he knelt, waiting for Ren to do the same. Together, heads bowed, Kiel murmured, “Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr’adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum. Commander Cian Hux. Gar darasum.”

 

Ren licked his lips. “Ni partayli,” he repeated quietly.

 

_I am alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal._

 

“I remember you.”

  
*tbc 


	14. xiv.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _A torrent of minds flooded him and the connections he was building cut off with lightning efficiency. “No,” he gasped in denial, as the Enarc Run spit out more TIE fighters._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, as always, is dedicated to Lex, Sasha, Sarah, and Song. Special thanks to Dani for enabling and distraction :)
> 
> Extra special thanks to The Star Wars Galaxy Map, and Wookiepedia for the supplemental EU information that I'd forgotten about. This chapter is mentally subtitled as "The One with the Cold Open". 
> 
> No Mando'a in this chapter. Don't worry, the Mandalorians will return! 
> 
>  
> 
> [Come talk to me on Tumblr!](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> Happy Birthday Dani <3

Xiv.

 

“On your left, Black Leader,” Ren shouted into the comm, and Poe’s x-wing immediately decelerates to let the TIE fighter rocket past him. “Poe, we’re going to be overrun, we need to get out of here!” he said desperately.

 

A slightly hysterical laugh was his answer. “Ren, we’ve been cut off and you know it.”

 

Ren winged his own x-fighter around, protecting Poe’s back. “We either flee now,” he said sharply, “or we hold out for the reinforcements. Sasha and Jessika will be here.”

 

Poe sighed, and with Ren’s Force powers stretched to the extreme, he could feel how Poe shoved all his tension out with the action. “Alright,” he said. “Alright. Let’s do this.”

 

In one move, they separated, flipping upside down and swinging under an incoming TIE fighter. With how close their x-wings were to each other, the TIE fighter couldn’t target either of them without a massive loss of accuracy, which is what Ren was relying on.

 

“Right,” he called, and Poe dropped out of the air, letting the gravity well of Naboo pull him down to avoid another plasma blast.

 

They were nearly defenseless, taking potshots at the TIE fighters but not doing any real damage as more and more flooded the space around the planet. “We need to draw them away,” Poe snarled, ducking down and dodging another shot. “We’re being driven back, and eventually this planet is going to be the reason we die.”

 

Ren wracked his brain for one of Hux’s many tactical maneuvers, trying to remember their names and their motions. “We need to do a flank attack somehow,” he said, and the adrenaline of their situation made it nearly impossible for his battle meditation to catch the will of the Force.

 

“Okay. Good. That’s a plan.” Poe pulled back up out of the gravity stream around the planet, and he said. “Straight ahead. Take out anything blocking our way. If we can destroy enough of them, they’ll have to follow us.”

 

Focusing the Force, Ren blanked out Poe’s nervous chattering, finding each of the TIE fighters that were dipping in and out of the hyperspace loop. There were fifteen in all, but they’d started with four - the Star Destroyer they were coming from must be close by.

 

“One,” Ren counted, and Poe echoed him. “Two,” he murmured, eyes narrow and ears pounding with his heartbeat. “Three.”

 

Together they arrowed away from Naboo, heading towards the Kalinda system rather than D’Qar. If the Blue Team and Red Team were coming, they would be heading from that direction. Keeping them between Ren’s position and the TIE fighters, that would only help.

 

A TIE fighter screamed in front of him and Ren dropped down, spinning around to shoot and flying backwards for several feet before he could right himself. There were too many minds around him, he could only focus on one or two at a time.

 

It was hardly the right moment to chastise himself on neglecting that part of his training out of his moral sensibilities but he couldn’t help but think that if he’d given control more of his attention, he’d be in a much better position currently.

 

A blast knocked him slightly off course and Poe whooped in his ear. “Scratch one!” he cried.

 

Fourteen minds now, all thinking an identical thought. They were focused on the annihilation of Ben Organa-Solo.

 

That meant that Cian and his Uncle had been right; the New Republic had a spy. It was a terrible time to come to that realization, but it struck him through the heart all the same. “Less thinking, more shooting,” Poe shouted at him, voice jangling through his head and refocusing him.

 

Out of pure reflex alone, Ren fired his laser cannon, taking out a TIE fighter on his left, knocking the number down to thirteen. They’d moved to a minimum safe distance away from Naboo, but he feared it wouldn’t be enough.

 

Some Jedi knew their death to the exact time and cause. Ren was not one of those Jedi. He was barely even one at all, but he could see death looming on his horizon. Without SR-3, he didn’t have a direct line to the Ordo Clan, nor did he have a line to Sylar and his Renegades.

 

Unless Jessika and Sasha got there within the next five minutes, there wouldn’t be anything left to rescue. Someone would have to tell Finn that Poe had died. Rey would lose two more people in her life, after the so recent loss of Cian.

 

“You still with me, Ren?” Poe asked him breathlessly, even though they were flying side by side.

 

Ren nodded, dragging his flagging focus back to the fight at hand. It was no use counting themselves as lost until they were truly without hope. “I’m here, he said.” He kicked the thruster at his feet and shot above Poe’s x-wing, shooting at the TIE fighter coming in on his upper right. “And scratch three. You’re behind, Hot Dameron, must be getting old!”

 

Poe made an outraged noise, and there was a minor echo along the line of BB-8 in his chassis. “You’ll take that back when we get home,” Poe warned, and expertly took out another TIE fighter. “Look alive, Ren, we’re tied!”

 

Catching Poe’s confidence and bolstering it with the Force was an easy task, even as he dodged another TIE fighter blast. With twelve minds, his focus was narrowing. They just needed two more, two more and he could pull them.

 

He got his chance a minute later, after Poe cleverly dodged two fighters and they slammed into each other, the explosion rocking Ren’s x-wing back. Ten minds; and those minds could easily be his. “Cover me!” Ren called and got an immediately affirmative back.

 

Hovering in place, and trusting Poe to have his back, Ren turned his focus inward. There was still a hole in his mind where Cian once lived, but he bypassed the sorrow without pausing. He had no time for grief. There _was_ no time for it.

 

He reached out the long arm of the Force, seeking and finding the minds that flitted around them like the bugs from Dagobah. He curled his will around them, so gently as to not alarm them, one after another. One to five, to six, to --

 

A torrent of minds flooded him and the connections he was building cut off with lightning efficiency. “No,” he gasped in denial, as the Enarc Run spit out more TIE fighters.

 

There was a brief pause in battle, as they sized each other up. Ten fighters had been left, only ten. But now there were twenty. Poe took a shaky breath, and it echoed static through his ear. “It’s been an honor,” he said with quiet certainty. “I am so… _so_ glad I got to see you again, Ben.”

 

“No,” Ren said, shaking his head, blinded by terror and sorrow. “No, shut up, Poe.”  


“For kriffs sake,” Poe said, and his laugh was watery. “If you can reach him… tell Finn I love him.”

 

Ren’s voice withered and died in his throat as the thrusters from Poe’s x-wing glowed a bright and vicious red as he pumped them. “Poe,” Ren said, and no amount of training could keep the despair from his tone.

 

“Hey,” Poe said, and Ren couldn’t believe how soothing he sounded. How accepting, he was, it radiated out from him. “I always knew I couldn’t beat the odds forever.” The x-wing jolted as he edged it forward. “But I can go out with a bang.”

 

A blaster bolt soared over their hands to slam into the TIE-fighter at the front of the swarm. “ _Not so fast, Black Leader_ ,” Sasha cried, and x-wings poured out of the Enarc Run on their opposite side.

 

“Hey, Hot Dameron, look who gets to save your ass this time,” Jessika Pava yelled over their newly established connection. “You owe me a drink, you pfassking nerfherder!”

 

As Poe laughed in hysterical relief, Ren withdrew his mind and rose above the battle. This, he was good at - Uncle Luke had spent weeks training him in battle meditation after Hux had gone down in the Barge ship, had focused Ren’s rage and grief into a sharp sword strike.

 

He turned his focus inward, reaching out and touching the minds of his allies, enhancing their natural reflexes, giving them a near supernatural edge. As their lives flitted through his mind, he carried them on the wake of the Force.

 

So Ren showed them the openings, gave them just enough prescience to avoid a shot that might have otherwise hit them.

 

“You good up there, Ren?” Sasha asked, winging by and her mind was bright like a star. He made some noise, too focused to respond verbally. The TIE fighters were going out, snuffed in fire, and eventually the x-wings whittled them down to three, then two, then one.

 

Ren opened his eyes. The world was streaked in colors and lights, each x-pilot a green star in his eyes, while the single TIE fighter evading them was a bright yellow. He frowned to himself as the stormtrooper piloting the fighter ducked and weaved and attempted to escape.

 

There were lines in the space around him, possible decisions he would make. Possible escapes, though some led to his demise. Ren blinked once, twice, trying to shake the color from his vision. “Disable him,” he found himself shouting. “Disable only, we can take him in for questioning.”

 

Jessika and most of her team had an outcry to that but Poe and the rest of the Black unit spun the TIE fighter around until it was surrounded on all sides. The stormtrooper’s yellow star mind flickered in indecision before he took his hands off the controls.

 

Once the TIE fighter was tethered to Iolo’s x-wing, Ren dropped the meditation, letting the world settle back to normal. He kept a close eye on the stormtrooper’s mind, not reading it exactly; just staying focused on him.

 

“You going to share why we saved this one?” Poe asked him as he drew even with Ren’s x-wing.

 

Ren frowned, still focusing on the stormtrooper. “His mind was different from the others,” he finally settled on. “You and the other fighter pilots, you all have green minds. The stormtroopers are red, usually. Sometimes blue… but this one was yellow.”

 

Poe snorted softly. “I’ll pretend that made any kind of sense,” he said with heavy relieved amusement. “What’s so strange about the yellow?”

 

“Tempest, Blue and the other reclaimed stormtroopers had yellow stars for minds before we broke their conditioning.” The other x-wingers were silent as that sunk in. “I think…” Ren said when no one replied. “That we could get this one to turn on his old comrades, the way the others did. But I won’t be certain until we get back to D’Qar.”

 

Poe made a noise of agreement. “And I’d like to know why a simple reconnaissance mission went so wrong. Intel can be off, information can be faked but this? This was a clusterpfassk.”

 

Ren couldn’t help but agree. They’d come dangerously close to dying today. He’d been warned by several people not to take foolish risks, but this one had been out of his hands.

 

Luke was still going to kill him, probably. If his mother didn’t get there first.

 

The x-wings all slipped back into the Enarc Run, slipping out near Naboo again before arrowing back towards D’Qar. The best part of D’Qar being their base was that no trade runs went anywhere near it - but the worst part about D’Qar was that _no trade runs went anywhere near it._

 

They had a few hours of travel outside the hyperspace loop before they’d get anywhere near short range comm distance. On top of that, being out in the black of space made his ability to touch minds become limited to the very close by.

 

His mental range was greater than the comms at least, so he could quietly warn Finn and Rey to be waiting for them, which meant that _everyone_ would be waiting for them. As soon as they crossed over the sector line between Alui and Sanbra, everyone’s comm went off at once. “Black Leader, _come in, Black Leader_.”

 

Poe covered the comm and said into their local unit, “there is no way in the twenty seven hells I am answering that. Ren, you can field your mother.”

 

“Oh _thanks_ ,” he growled, hitting the button to connect to Leia. “Mother,” he greeted evenly.

 

There was a pause as she likely changed gears. “Ren,” she said with a military snap to her voice. “Care to tell me why I’m getting reports from Naboo saying there was a _dogfight_ in their _atmosphere_?”

 

Ren rolled his eyes. “Sure, mom,” he said. “We got to Naboo to make the connection with Eidara Berenko, and found a squadron of First Order TIE fighters waiting for us in the Enarc Run. We evaded them as best we could but they must have been close by within the system because they kept sending more. Poe got off a short burst to Sasha and Jessika, but we were uncertain if they’d reach us in time considering they were all near Malastare. Thankfully, they proved us wrong, and did in fact arrive in time.”

 

There was a slight pause as Leia absorbed that before she sighed. “Alright, I see we have a lot to talk about. Sasha, Jessika, Poe, Ren - I want to see you four immediately upon your arrival.”

 

“Yes Ma’am,” they chorused quickly while Ren didn’t bother answering. He cut the connection, and tapped his fingers irritably on the console. There was something he wasn’t getting - if Luke had been correct and there was a spy, it would have to be someone close to them, someone who would have known that Ren and Poe were being sent to Naboo for political hobnobbing.

 

The entire reason they didn’t just take the Untouchable was because of how recognizable it had become since Hux’s capture. The x-wings could be hidden close by without being immediately obvious, it had been an easy simple thing.

 

Except for, of course, the waiting TIE fighters.

 

Ren was not a tactically minded individual. He could see logic in what happened, how things had gone from all systems normal to completely pfassked up within a five minute stretch of time. But he’d relied on Cian for so long that he couldn’t imagine how it’d happened to begin with.

 

He touched the place in his mind where Cian used to live, finding nothing more than a scar and torn up Force ripples. He’d told Niamh that Hux had died quickly, but the way Ren’s mind felt, the opposite probably had been true. Whatever had taken Cian from him was slow, dragging him away one plodding step at a time.

 

Their Bond was severed, and the backlash from that was still affecting Ren today.

 

“Yo, look alive, Ren,” Poe said, and when Ren refocused, D’Qar was looming in front of him.

 

They landed in the courtyard, to Luke, Rey and Finn waiting for them. SR-3 sat on Rey’s shoulder, eyelights thin narrow slits of yellow. He submitted to a hug from Rey, still unused to her casual affection in the wake of Cian’s loss, and accepted SR-3 onto his own shoulder. Luke, who had not mentioned Ren’s loss of control after Cian’s death, clapped him on the shoulder and gave him a half smile. “Well done,” he complimented.

 

Ren raised an eyebrow. “Thanks but, uh.. For what?”

 

“I can feel the battle meditation draped across your mind,” Luke answered as he led the Leaders of the X-Squads towards Leia’s office.

 

“Oh,” Ren said, rubbing the back of his neck. “It was easy once I could concentrate on it.”

 

They made their way across the quad, and Ren handed SR-3 off to Luke for the meeting. [ _But Friend-Ben!]_ she protested vigorously. _[You just returned!]_

 

Ren summoned a smile from somewhere. “I know, SR. I’ll be back soon.” It wasn’t that SR was unwelcome, she just had a tendency to interrupt.

 

He ducked into the room, closing the door behind him and standing behind Poe. “Ren,” his mother said, her face very serious. She looked her age at that second, lines carving sorrow into her skin. “Can you make certain that no one is near enough to us to listen in to this conversation?”

 

Glancing at the assembled people in the room, he counted the upper echelon of the New Republic Resistance, plus the Leaders of the X-Wing Squadron. He nodded slowly, he closed his eyes and extended his awareness out as far as it could go without overwhelming himself. Every mind that edged too close to him he gently nudged away with an effort of will. When he opened his eyes again, his mother was staring at him steadily. “I’ll keep an ear out,” he said. “But there’s no one but Luke, Rey and Finn within an eighty foot radius.”

 

Leia nodded back, settling behind her desk. “Then I will be frank. We have a spy within our midst.” There was a small outcry to that, but she held up a hand until silence fell. “I know that you can be trusted. Many of you I have served with in the past. Most of you have grown up with me, or I knew your parents. Of everyone, I trust you the most.”

 

Jessika Pava sat up straight in her seat. “It wasn’t Hux?” she asked, ignoring Ren’s low growl. “You’re absolutely certain?”

 

Giving Ren another sharp look, Leia leaned on the table, meeting Pava’s eyes. “Cian Hux died three weeks ago attempting to right the wrongs he’d committed,” Leia said with no inflection. “Neither him, nor his crew are in any way involved.”

 

“Then who?”

 

“If I knew that, we’d be having a very different meeting,” Leia said, sighing. “Whoever this spy is, he or she must be as high a level as I am. Someone who is privy to my meetings, the decisions we’ve been making. My trust in General Ackbar and General Antilles is absolute. But the others?”

 

Ren glanced at her, slightly concerned. “So what do you want from us?” Pava asked, before Ren could wonder aloud if his presence here was because of listening ears or if his mother wanted him to start scanning the minds of everyone who went in and out of her office.

 

“For now,” Leia said, “Be mindful, be watchful. If you see anything - and I mean anything - suspicious, you bring it immediately to Luke or myself.”

 

A shiver went down Ren’s spine, but when he narrowed his focus, there was nothing. No minds, no blips, just calm, eerie silence.

 

Then, just outside the edge of his perception, as Ren turned his gaze inward, a small voice said, “ _... You remember who you really are. Come find me.”_

 

Ren’s attention snapped back to his mother who was looking at him expectantly. “Well?” she asked.

 

“Uh…” Ren said. “No, nothing so far. I’ll keep it up, see if I can feel anything.” The lie poured out of his mouth like water and Ren suddenly felt very, very cold.

 

Those hadn't been his words.

 

*tbc


	15. xv.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _There was a longer pause before Tannis came back. “Alright. Please bring your craft in for landing. If you or anyone with you makes efforts to harm the New Republic, you will be treated accordingly.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised it would be okay, wouldn't I? :)
> 
> For Lex, Song, Sasha, Sarah and Dani <3
> 
> As always I can be found at [tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/), for all your needs. 
> 
> No Mando'a this chapter.

Xv.

 

Cold water woke him.

 

He opened his eyes and blinked running water out of them, trying to focus on the person standing in front of him. His vision was blurred, and when he tilted his head up, the world swam further out of alignment. He had a concussion then, what seemed to be a bad one, and one that was clearly going to go untreated.

 

His mouth was dry but a tightness and pressure against his lips caused him swallow compulsively. Whoever these people were, they had also gagged him. 

 

They had either done their research, realizing that he would attempt to talk himself free, or they were afraid of whatever he had to say. He forced himself to breath evenly through his nose, keeping his rising panic at bay for as long as physically possible. 

 

The person in front of him, clearly a man with dark features and darker hair, turned to look off to one side. He tried to turn his head to see, but pain speared through him so sharply that he couldn’t stop the ragged gasp that escaped past the gag. His vision, already impaired, dimmed further.

 

Whoever his captors were, they spoke a language he didn’t immediately recognize or understand, and there was the sound of a door banging closed somewhere behind him on the left. Blinking hard, squinting and trying to focus only made his head pound harder but he needed to see, needed to identify whoever it was in front of him.

 

He twisted his wrists, feeling for give in the cuffs that secured his arms to the chair. His ankles were also cuffed, with his feet flat on the ground. The floor was cold; they had taken his boots. The chair itself was also metal, with no cushioning or fabric to mitigate the harsh feel against his back. 

 

A deep breath caused small fireworks of pain to erupt along his side - broken ribs then. From the crash, or from rough treatment, he couldn’t remember. If he’d woken up before this, he had no memory of that time. 

 

“You seem to be having trouble focusing, General,” an unfamiliar voice said. 

 

In some abstract way, he was glad the figure was speaking to him. At least he knew now that whoever it was, he didn’t already know them. Whoever this was, he was a stranger. That narrowed the list of suspects down. Not a General, unless he was a General from a time before him. Nor was he someone who may have served on the Finalizer, out for revenge.

 

Hux relaxed in his bonds. He couldn’t respond verbally, not with the gag, but he could narrow his eyes in the vilest glare he knew. 

 

“You don’t look very fearsome,” the man in front of him said doubtfully. “The way the others always spoke of you, you always seemed larger than life. Larger than any of us.”

 

_ Any of us _ .

 

This man was a stormtrooper. 

 

Hux still couldn’t get his eyes to focus, but he knew his captor’s measure now. If there was ever a time for Ren’s bond to manifest in some Force powers; right now would be the time. 

 

With that thought, he reached out, looking for Ren’s presence in his head. He could feel the shape of the bond, where it was supposed to be, but felt nothing. That meant that Ren was either dead - unlikely, surrounded by the lizard things that took away the Force - also not very likely, or he himself was. 

 

Hux took a second to mourn that Ren and Rey would think he was dead. He couldn’t focus on it now, there was nothing he could do until he escaped. He swallowed around his dry throat, dragging his eyes from what he could see of the man to the room around him. 

 

It was more or less formless, slate grey walls, no windows. Escaping would be difficult.

 

A sharp slap drew him back out of his head, and he flexed his jaw as best he could with the gag in his mouth. “I can see you looking,” the man sneered. “You’ll find no escape from this room. You’ll pay for your crimes against us.”

 

Hux narrowed his eyes.

 

“Think about what sort of position you’re in, General.” The man leaned forward just enough for Hux to finally be able to discern his features. The stormtrooper was missing a large portion of his cheek, a thick scar over most of his forehead and left eye. “Everyone thinks you’re dead. We left evidence of that, and unless someone decides to do a dna test, that means: no one is coming for you.”

 

Hux met his eyes and hoped the message he carried there was clear. 

 

_ I need no rescue.  _

 

*

 

Someone removed the gag. Hux grit his teeth together to stop himself from working his jaw in front of his captors. He allowed himself to lick his lips once, though there was barely enough liquid in his mouth to do so. “Here,” a different voice said, and a cup full of water was pressed to his face. 

 

He drank, because it would be stupid not to. His eyesight had only gotten worse in the time between the first visit and this one. The stormtrooper in front of him was female, he could tell by the sweep of her hair and the softness in her face though the details were disturbingly blurred. 

 

“I told them you needed a bacta tank,” the woman said sharply. “There is no point in torturing someone who is already injured.” 

 

“I assure you,” Hux said dryly, “there’s no point in torturing me at all.”

 

She scoffed, shoving his head away to look at the sizeable lump he was sporting. “You don’t know the first thing about suffering, General Starkiller.”

 

Hux lowered his head and let her move it as she wished. “I’m afraid you don’t know enough about me to make that assumption. What’s your name?”

 

“What do you care?” she snapped. Tapping the lump on the back of his head made stars burst against his already terrible eyesight, but he held her gaze as best he could. 

 

He thought about the answer that was the closest to the truth. “When I was a General,” he said slowly, “I knew every designation of every stormtrooper than lived on my ship. Some of them had names, as I suspect you do. I knew those too. When I left the First Order and became a Commander of the New Republic, my ship had three former stormtroopers serving on it. Finn, who served on the Finalizer and escaped it without ever getting help. He was called FN-2187 then. Then there was Tempest, a TX unit trooper who was forced to kill his squad in order to join us. And Blue.” He could hear the way his voice softened. “She was part of the VT unit that Captain Astros abused.” Hux lowered his head, chasing the woman’s gaze. “I am many things, a monster is chief among them. But make no mistake, my crew, my stormtroopers, my  _ people _ were the dearest to me that anyone has ever been.”

 

The woman’s fingers gentled on the back of his head. “Mouse,” she finally said. “My unit calls me Mouse.”

 

Hux tried to smile, tipping his head down in an aborted bow. “I’m glad to meet you, Mouse, even under the circumstances.” 

 

“You’re not like I expected,” she said frankly. 

 

That was certainly true. “Things have changed quite a bit for me, in the year since Starkiller,” Hux said honestly. “I imagine they changed for everyone else too.”

 

Mouse crouched in front of him, using his leg to balance. “They did. Your leg is bleeding. If I unshackle your ankle, are you going to kick me?”

 

“No,” Hux promised. “I will do my utmost to behave appropriately.”

 

She unhooked the shackles around his ankles and Hux relaxed more into the seat, despite its general uncomfortableness. “Niner said you would try to hurt us, if we came in here to give you medication attention.”

 

Hux couldn’t help the snort he had for that. Mouse looked up at him suspiciously. “What this Niner of yours cares to know about me could fit in a thimble,” he told her dryly.  

 

The smile that flashed over her face was quick, but it was there. “I’ll get a kolto wrap,” she said. “Your tendon sustained some damage and if left too long, it may hinder your ability to walk.” 

 

Hux’s panic spiked at that but managed to nod. “Thank you,” he said.

 

“Sure,” Mouse responded. “Good luck, General.”

 

She stood and the world slowed down. Hux heard the blaster shot before he saw anything, the way his eyes were slow to focus and everything was blurred. He noticed when the green plasma hit Mouse full in the face and shoulders, saw the way her eyes widened in betrayed pain as she fell  in front of him. 

 

A man kicked her away, and stared down at Hux. “For every one of my men that you taint, I’ll kill them.”

 

Hux’s lip curled. “For someone who claims to be doing this because of the other stormtroopers, you certain seem fine with sacrificing them yourself.” He spat at Niner’s feet. “You’re no better than I am,  _ Niner.”  _

 

There was a flash of white in the dark smudge of his face. “If you’re well enough to back talk me, you’re well enough to suffer,” he decided. “Bring in the others,” he told someone behind Hux. “The General is ready to begin.” 

 

A blow to the already injured part of his head made Hux’s vision slide dangerously sideways. When he coughed out a hoarse laugh, there was an awkward pause. Then, a blow that took him across the cheek snapped his head back awkwardly and he bit back a surprised cry. "I'll take a wild guess and posit that you didn't kidnap me to extract information out of me," he said hoarsely.    
  
"Correct," Niner said.  "This part is just for fun." There was a creaking noise, the sound of footsteps crossing a room. Fingers ran through his hair almost lovingly, pushing it away from his forehead. "Leave us," Niner said to an unknown companion. "The General and I have much to discuss."

 

When Niner hit him again, he could feel the way his teeth sliced into the side of his cheek. He spat again, trying to clear the taste from his mouth. All it did was make his mouth fill up with more blood.    
  


“We want you to stick around, General,” Niner said, patting his broken cheekbone gently. “So don’t you worry about fatal injuries. I promise, I have practice at this.” It was all the warning he got before something poured down over his right arm, starting at the shoulder. 

 

For a blessed second, all Hux felt was vaguely wet. Then, the burning started. He clenched his teeth on a scream, Ren’s face flashing in his mind’s eye as he reached out in futility. The burning in his skin took on a new level of pain as more liquid was introduced to his flesh and the world wavered once, twice, before the incessant pain faded to a hard, dull throb.  

  
He remembered the Academy class on torture; it was required for all men and women training to be Agents. Six people in his class died by the end of the term, from their wounds, or from guilty suicide from torturing their peers.    
  
Now, head hanging nearly down to his chest, blood dripping in a nearly constant stream from his mouth, he barely remembered why he'd found the course so abhorrent. His arm felt disconnected from his body, pain felt only abstractly. "Nothing more to say, General?" Niner asked snidely.    
  
Hux couldn't quite manage to get his mouth to cooperate enough for a smile but he rolled his head up and turned in the direction of the ‘trooper. "I'm sorry," he said as pleasantly as his ruined voice was able, "I wasn't paying attention."   
  
Niner snarled, and Hux turned his head to follow the dim shape he could see with his foggy and blurred eyes. When the shape leaned close, he spat everything he could, and by the sound, he'd hit his mark.    
  
Niner bellowed, rearing back. Hux was glad then, that Niner had been too focused on Hux. He’d never noticed that Hux’s feet had been freed. Sending a quiet thank you to the ‘trooper called Mouse out in the universe, Hux kicked out with one foot, feeling the pop and give of a knee under pressure. 

 

Using the momentum of the kick, Hux lifted the chair and spun in place, slamming the legs down around the fallen man. There was some resistance, at first but with Hux's whole weight, there was a dull slick noise as he perforated something on the fallen man.    
  
Twisting his right arm, Hux yanked the mangled appendage through the cuffs securing his arms. "Now then," he said stridently, wiping the back of his hand against his mouth. "Where were we?"   
  
A quick search of the pinned Niner showed him the keys, and he made short work of the cuff on his left arm. Niner began to struggle to get out from under the chair but Hux stood, putting his weight against the man's groin. "Ah-ah," he said, and spat again, "It's my turn, I think."    
  
His things were on the table in the corner of the room and trying not to limp, he strolled over and began reattaching his weaponry. His knife and right blaster would be useless, his right arm dangled awkwardly and he couldn't close his fist which would be alarming later. Instead he turned, hefting his plasma pistol in his left hand. "You're a lucky man," he said, as the Stormtrooper struggled to get the chair leg out of the meat of his tricep. "Torture was never my bag." He shot twice, taking out the 'troopers knees.    
  
Niner screamed and Hux touched his stealth generator as the door burst open. The 'troopers unit swarmed him and Hux disappeared around the door. 

 

He'd had quite enough of their particular brand of hospitality.

 

*

 

He found their docking port easily, and scanned for easily pilotable ships that didn’t require more than one person. His arm was beginning to scream at him, and even with the stealth drive engaged, he was leaving a blood trail. Someone was going to notice, and soon. 

 

Hux sagged against a door frame, blood was pooling in his shoe.  _ Ren _ , he murmured, reaching out and finding nothing. The connection between them wasn’t just dormant, as it had been when Ren had lost his memories, it was closed entirely. 

 

He was on his own. 

 

“This way,” a voice said, and Hux could barely focus, but the figure just in front of him was limned in blue, and slightly see through. “You need to move, Commander,” he said, and he sounded familiar. 

 

Shoving himself away from the door frame, and ignoring the puddle of blood he left behind, Hux staggered after the ghost, weaving his way around ships, and crates to find a tiny corvette class transporter. “I can’t…” Hux mumbled, eyes blurring. “I can’t fly that.”

 

The ghost, whoever it was, reached out like he wanted to steady Hux. “I can talk you through it. Hux, you  _ must _ get on this ship.”

 

He was fading fast, but Hux summoned up force of will from somewhere, dragging himself into the cockpit of the ship. “Now what?” he asked. 

 

The ghost stood right beside him, close enough that his robes clipped into Hux’s chair. “This one,” he ordered, gently touching a button. “Then this.” 

 

He moved through the startup sequence with ease and familiarity, and Hux forced his protesting limbs to answer. His right arm didn’t move, no matter how much he strained his muscles, and he finally looked at it. 

 

The world around him remained blurred and doubled, but his right arm, or what was left of it, focused into sharp clarity. “I’m going to be sick,” he said meditatively, still staring at the mess of meat and bone that made up his arm. 

 

“No,” yelped the ghost, and Hux felt very cold as he moved through the majority of Hux’s body to block his view of his arm. “One last thing, just push the thruster. You’re almost out and then we can set the autopilot.”

 

With the elbow of his left arm, Hux pushed the thruster up and away from him, feeling the ship shudder beneath them. “I’m going to lose my arm, aren’t I,” he said staring sightlessly at the transparisteel windows. 

 

The ghost sighed. “You might, yes. It may not feel like it right now, but you will survive this.”

 

Hux tried to summon up a half smile but the expression fell flat. “A Hux endures,” he murmured, and he forced himself to look away. “Where are we? How long will it take to return to D’Qar?”

 

“A standard twelve galactic hours, once we hit a hyperspace loop.” The ghost leaned in close enough the tips of their noses were nearly touching. “You will see him again, Hux.”

 

Swallowing hard, Hux looked away from the intense golden eyes. “As soon as I get to D’Qar they’re going to arrest me anyway.”

 

The ghost shook his head. “In your condition? Ben would tear down the world if they tried.”

 

Hux blinked tiredly at the ghost, sick of being unable to see, sick of the pain. “Ghost,” he said, his voice cracking under the weakness. “I can’t…” He swallowed again as blood rose up in the back of his throat. “Are there medical supplies on board?”

 

“I can look,” the ghost said, and he moved away from Hux’s line of sight. “Don’t fall asleep, Commander.”

 

“No promises,” Hux murmured, and leaned back in the pilots chair. He didn’t remember breaking atmo into the black of space, or catching the hyperspace loop. His right arm was a mass of throbbing, stabbing pain, and his left leg wasn’t doing much better. 

 

He tried to focus on the lines the stars made, but everything was just a wash of color and shapes. The concussion was either getting worse or there was something in his eyes. 

 

He managed to set the autopilot, and leaned too hard on his bad leg. The world went white for a short second and Hux felt himself hit the floor. “No!” the ghost shouted. “Kriffing hells, I can’t land this ship without you!”

 

“Sorry,” Hux murmured, not feeling very sorry at all. 

 

The world went black.

 

*

 

He came to with a shout and a pulse of searing pain. The ghost, even more blurred now than he had been before, removed his hands from Hux’s belly which Hux was frankly glad he couldn’t focus on. “We’re here, you’ve been unconscious on the floor for twelve hours,” he said in a clipped, worried tone. “If you don’t get medical attention soon, you’re going to die.”

 

He struggled to sit up, reaching for the comm system. “This is Commander Cian Hux,” he said, static fizzing over the line and drowning him out. “I am in severe need of medical attention, please respond.”

 

There was a pause, and Hux leaned against the console, trying to convince his body to just  _ move _ .

 

“I apologize,” Tannis’ voice said over the line. “There is interference over the line. Please repeat.”

 

Hux dragged himself up, using his left arm and right leg for balance. The world swam dangerously and dipped sideways just a bit. “I am in serious need of medical attention,” he said again. 

 

There was a longer pause before Tannis came back. “Alright. Please bring your craft in for landing. If you or anyone with you makes efforts to harm the New Republic, you will be treated accordingly.” 

 

Landing the corvette ship took all of Hux’s dwindling concentration. He only managed because of the ghost at his back, and memories of Ren doing the same thing with his ship. He struggled to his feet again, left leg dragging uselessly as he made his way to the ramp. He could no longer feel his right arm.    
  
The ramp opened slowly, and Hux stumbled into it, using the wall of the ship. He could hear voices murmuring, though their exact words were indistinct. “Cian!” 

 

He heard a voice call his name and Hux went to his knees. He didn’t need to see to recognize the figure who appeared in front of him. This time, Hux managed a smile. “Ren,” he murmured. “I’m back.”

 

The bond between them blew open in sharp clarity and relief. Hux’s mind blanked out, unseeing and unfeeling as Ren took the majority of his pain away. 

 

Unburdened, Hux reached out for him, fingers trembling visibly even to his eyes. “Sorry,” he murmured again, to the ghost, to Ren, to the universe in general.

 

Hux’s world, for the second time in as many days, went dark.

 

*tbc


	16. xvi.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Rey,” he murmured, nudging her gently. “I’m fine.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“You are not fine,” she retorted._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Lex, Song, Sera, Sasha, and Dani <3
> 
> This chapter is slightly shorter than the others, but only because next chapter we start... the Trial. Those chapters are going to be longer extensively so. This is a bastion before that ordeal. Remember folks, it gets worse before it gets better, and I promise you, this has a happy ending.
> 
> No Mando'a in this chapter - but definitely in the next!
> 
> As ever, I can be found at [](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com)tumblr, for all your needs. I'd welcome any advice on legal matters, as I'm a lowly social worker who is just doing research into questions that barristers would ask. Any thoughts, issues and concerns are welcome! <3 Thank you for sticking with me for all this time.

Xvi.

 

Hux woke up in the familiar medical bay of D’Qar, feeling very confused. He barely remembered getting off the tiny planet, let alone the flight back to D’Qar. His hair was in his eyes and he went to push it out of the way, and froze.

 

Slowly, he turned his head, feeling a sharp pain in the back of his skull as he did so. His shoulder was bare, pale and freckled against white sheets, and there was where his arm ended. His shoulder curved down into nothing. 

 

Panic flooded him. 

 

“Cian!” 

 

Ren’s familiar voice cut through the rising hysteria and Hux focused on him instead of his stump of an arm.  _ That’s it,  _ Ren said, his voice a solid comfort inside Hux’s head.  _ Take deep breaths, with me.  _ With Hux’s left - only - left - hand, Ren placed it against his own chest, so that Hux could feel the rise and fall of his breathing and his steady, if slightly rapid heartbeat. 

 

_ Can you hear me?  _ Hux wondered, reaching out gingerly to touch their bond. It felt slightly bruised, strained, as though it had suffered as Hux had. 

 

A smile spilled over Ren’s face, equal parts joy and sorrow. “Yes,” he answered, taking Hux’s hand and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “I can hear you.” 

 

Relief that the bond had survived even if his arm had not erased the last of the hysteria, though it still simmered under the surface of his head. “What happened?” he asked, and gone was the crisp Order general in his voice. He was hoarse, voice breaking clean through the words. 

 

No one would ever look at him again and see the man who destroyed the Hosnian system. 

 

“You nearly crashed a corvette class ship into the courtyard,” Ren said, and the humor was forced but appreciated. “And when you stumbled out of the ramp, you collapsed before anyone could say much. You recognized me right away, at least.”

 

Hux closed his eyes trying to remember. 

 

“I barely remember getting on the transport,” he admitted. “It was all sort of a haze, after… a certain point.” 

 

Ren’s lips thinned at the reminder. “Well, you certain surprised the rest of us,” he said before the silence got too terrible. “They’d called you dead a week ago.”

 

“They had me that long?” Hux asked, surprised. “It… didn’t feel that long.”

 

Sighing, Ren leaned over and snagged a datapad from the table behind him, scrolling through it quickly. “The medics found large amounts of sedatives in your system,” he said clinically. “No one kind either, it seemed they used whatever they had on hand, and to hell with the consequences. That you’re having trouble remembering is likely on account of that.”

 

Hux quirked an eyebrow. “Small mercies,” he murmured, glancing to his right. 

 

A strange expression crossed Ren’s face that Hux was too exhausted to try and read. “There are a lot of people waiting to see you,” he said finally. “If you’re feeling up to it, I’ll start sending them in.”

 

There was something wrong. Ren was touching him, but other than the light kiss he’d given Hux’s good - only - hand, he’d been removed and nearly cold. His window for dealing with whatever that something was would soon close, and Hux panicked again. 

 

“Wait!” he said, and he’d forced his voice too far too fast and a deep hacking cough overtook him.

 

When the fit passed, Ren hovered near him, holding out water. “What did you need?” he asked, his voice still blank.

 

“I didn’t… what’s wrong?” Hux asked helplessly.  _ Talk to me Ren, please.  _

 

A flash of something that looked like anger passed through his expressive eyes. “Does it matter?” he asked. “You said were we done.”

 

It struck him then, the last thing he’d said to Ren before getting on the prison barge. “Oh… kriffing..” Rage of his own speared through him, chasing away the last remnants of pain and panic. “She didn’t tell you.”

 

“Who didn’t tell me what?” Ren snapped. 

 

Using his good hand, Hux dug his palm into one eye, trying to focus. “Ren, I wanted to tell you - I was  _ going  _ to tell you. But then it was too late and I… had to act, and hope. Of course she didn’t kriffing tell you - you thought I was dead, what would be the point, better you angry and grieving than this. Of course.”

 

“Hux,” Ren said sharply. “You’re not making any sense!”

 

Hux took a deep breath and shelved the stab of pain he felt when Ren called him by his last name. He had time to wallow later. “Leia told me to give myself up and get on the prison barge,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “We needed to fool them, think I was giving myself up willingly, fool them into thinking I was friendless and alone.” He swallowed hard, and reached out with the bond, unwilling to say the next part where anyone could hear.  _ I wanted to tell you, when Leia ordered me to do this, it was for the benefit of any spies - and to keep my father from going after you.  _

 

Ren scowled, shaking his head.  _ I can take care of myself, Hux! _

 

_ I know you can. So does Leia. But my father, I promise you, he would have stopped at nothing to have you jailed with me. _

 

“Better jailed with you than  _ thinking you were dead _ ,” Ren hissed, leaning in for emphasis. 

 

Hux used his good arm for leverage and he met Ren halfway, kissing him hard.  _ Please _ , Hux murmured inside their minds.  _ Please believe me.  _

 

Ren pulled away.  _ I wish I could.  _

 

Panic for an entire different reason welled up under Hux’s breastbone. “Ren,” he murmured.

 

“Hux,” Ren returned, and the smallest crack in his expression made Hux renew his efforts.

 

_ When I woke up the first time, _ Hux said candidly,  _ my first thought was of you. And each time I fell unconscious, I reached out for you. I imagine they had me in a room with one of those lizard things, but I don’t recall seeing one. The man who took from me my arm, he was an ex-trooper, they called him Niner. He killed one of his own followers for being kind to me. Her name was Mouse. He poured acid over my arm and cut me. _

 

He’d meant to tell Ren the barest of facts, but the dam inside him burst. Everything fell out of him rushing down their connection with the speed of an angry rancor. Hux felt it all in one swoop, the abject loneliness, the terror, the soul crushing pain. His benefactor laid dead at his feet, his arm a numb casualty to cruelty. 

 

On the tide of broken emotion, Hux was lost.

 

The tears started utterly without permission, and his chest ached with the force of trying to hold back. 

 

Warmth enveloped him, and Hux opened his eyes to find that Ren had climbed over the bed rail and was holding him tightly.

 

_ I never wanted to leave you _ , Hux admitted.  _ You’re the only person I’ve…  _ He trailed off. Love wasn’t strong enough a word for what he felt.  _ Leia asked me to keep it from you and I couldn’t do it. I know it worked out that way, but I was  _ going  _ to tell you.  _

 

_ I know _ , Ren murmured, the connection between them strong and unfrayed. 

 

“You’re going to have to face trial, still,” Ren said against the cap of his hair. “Mother couldn’t keep your crash landing a secret from the Galactic Senate.”

 

Hux sighed, suppressed a shudder. “Yes, I assumed so.”

 

Ren pulled back. “And Uncle Luke has someone coming to fit you with cybernetics.”

 

The idea made Hux shiver, and he pointed didn’t look down at his missing arm. “He should wait,” Hux said, hating the words even as the fell out of his mouth. “Luke, that is. As much as I…” He cleared his throat. “It’s possible that seeing me brought so low would either garner sympathy or make them believe I’ve already gotten punished.”   
  


Giving him a look of utter disbelief, Ren shook his head. “You can’t imagine we’d let you go to the biggest trial of your life still injured and in pain.”

 

Hux managed to find a smile from somewhere. “It’s good tactics, Ren. Seem weak, even when you aren’t.”

 

Ren scowled. “I’ll bring it up to mom. But if she says no, then you’re not going to complain when the cyberneticist shows up.”

 

His smiled widened. “Perish the thought.”

 

They sat together, Hux slipping closer and closer to being unconscious again, eyes half closed as he gazed at Ren. “I should get some of the others,” Ren murmured, “They’ll want to know you’re awake.”

 

Shame welled up inside his chest, and Hux couldn’t help the way he looked over at the useless stump of his arm. Ren reached across his chest to cover the bandaged area with his broad palm. “No one is going to look at you like you’re less for this,” he said firmly. “You survived.”

 

Hux made a noncommittal noise, and covered Ren’s hand with his own. “Fine,” he said quietly. “Bring them in. One at a time, if you please.”

 

Ren nodded. “Normally I’d send you Rey and your mother, but I think there is one person who needs to see you above all others?”

 

Hux could feel the wan smile he made. “SR?” he asked. “I assure you, I’m in no danger of attempting to escape the medical bay.”

 

“No.” Hux looked up to see HK-51 standing in the doorway, burnished metal gleaming in the cold light of the room. “ _ Me. _ ”

 

“HK,” Hux said, and sighed. “I’m certain you have plenty things to say to me about my foolish behavior.”   
  


The droid’s head tilted to one side. “You put me in a pod and sent me away. Master, I am a  _ droid.  _ I would have survived the crashing of the ship. All of my parts can - and have - been replaced before. You are not so fortunate.”

 

Sighing, Hux tilts his head up to look at HK. “In the last year of my life, I have seen friends and comrades and family fall. Some of them I helped kill, myself. I have had enough of those I care for dying at my feet - even ones who might be able to return.” He looked over his arm. “You are important to Ren, and you are important to me. I could have made a difference choice, but I didn’t. And I wouldn’t.” He smiled a little. “I suppose that was the last straw for General Starkiller, isn’t it?”   
  


HK made a muted growl noise, that popped and flanged with static. “Do not do such stupid things again, Master.”

 

Hux raised an eyebrow. “That’s the second time you’ve called me Master.” 

 

“You and Master Ren will share a life, therefore you also share ownership of me.” The eyelights, still the same bright angry looking red narrowed. “That does not mean when you act like a meatbag, I will not call you on it. Meatbag.”

 

Snorting, Hux laughed despite the pain it caused in the back of his head and his chest. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

“Will you go find some of the others?” Ren asked HK. 

 

“Of course, Master.” HK stared Hux down for another beat, before he turned and clumped away, footsteps echoing oddly in the hall.

 

It was time to face the music.

 

*

 

The next several hours pass in a muted state of half awareness, as Hux greets and speaks to each person who had cared about his supposed passing. First had been Rey, who had curled up in the bed with him and almost refused to leave, even when Hux started wincing in pain. 

 

“If I leave, you’ll just vanish again,” Rey pointed out. “Everyone I have ever… you all vanish. First, Finn nearly died thanks to Revan, then we lost Ren, and now you! I’ve had enough.” She wrapped her arms around Hux’s good one, resting her cheek against his bicep.

 

Having had so much time for introspection back on whatever planet he’d been kept captive, Hux was aware he’d given Rey more leeway with his personal space and boundaries than he had any other, including Ren who had to work for months before Hux would get close to him.

 

For how long had the person he’d been forced to become to survive the Academy at Arkanis been dissolving? 

 

“Rey,” he murmured, nudging her gently. “I’m fine.”

 

“You are not fine,” she retorted. 

 

Hux tilted one side of his mouth up, half smiling into her hair. “Perhaps not,” he allowed. “But I am close enough for it to count. I need you to do me a favor. Go find Leia and find out how long we have until they’ll drag me to trial. Speak to Luke about delaying the Cyberneticist.”

 

She sighed, climbing off the bed. “Fine.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. “I’m still angry with you.”

 

“I know,” Hux said, smiling at her. “I missed you too.”

 

Rey left the room, and Ren scowled. “You’re determined to use your arm for evil.”

 

Hux laughed again. “I use everything for evil, Ren. That’s a bit of my thing, no?” He looked at the door, straining his ears for footsteps in the hall. “Come here,” he requested. Ren moved closer, leaning within grabbing range. “I’m afraid I don’t have an object for you, but… marry me anyway?”

 

Ren rolled his eyes. “You know, I want to say no on principle.” 

 

Taking that in the spirit it was intended, Hux met him halfway and kissed him.  _ I love you _ , he murmured across their connection.

 

_ You’re a laserbrained nerfherder and I hate you intensely _ , Ren responded.

 

_ Lies. _

 

“I hate to interrupt,” Luke said dryly from the door. 

 

“That’s lies too,” Hux responded out loud. He pulled back and looked over at him. “Hello, Luke.”

 

Luke smiles, but the expression is strained. “Hello, my friend. Rey found me, said you wanted to be appear vulnerable in front of the Galactic Senate. You’re certain this is what you wish?”

 

Hux nodded. “It seems backwards, I know. Better to seem strong even when I’m weak, that would make sense if we weren’t dealing with my father.” He shrugged both shoulders, hiding a wince at the strange feeling. “But it’s better to appear vulnerable and be hiding an inner strength, to be shown when they least expect it. A one armed man who has recently been tortured is a man who has cracked and broken, to them.”

 

Luke tilted his head to one side, regarding him. “But you haven’t.”

 

Narrowing his eyes, Hux inclined his head back. “I haven’t. My life flashed before me as the ship crashed around me. I’ve accomplished much in my short years, but none that I’ve been as proud of as the last year with you. Let them see me as weak, let them underestimate me.” He smiled, a sharp pointed thing. “Let us prove them wrong.”

 

“Alright,” Luke agreed, despite Ren’s shout of protest. “I understand and this is my suggestion. Let the Cyberneticist fit you for the arm - that way it will be completed and ready for implantation after the trial.”

 

Hux thought that over. “Fair enough.” 

 

Luke nodded. “I’ll get in contact with her. I’ll let you two rest. Hux, take it easy.” 

 

As soon as the door had closed behind him, Ren leaned over and locked it. Hux raised an eyebrow at him, easily accepting the kiss Ren gave him in answer. They kissed languidly for a moment before Hux pulled away. “What was that for, Ren?” he asked quietly.

 

_ The trial is in a few days,  _ Ren admitted, internal voice pained.  _ I could lose you forever. _

 

Hux leaned his forehead against Ren’s shoulder.  _ I know. Fight for me.  _

 

_ Always. _

 

He’d always known this day would come, even as he toiled to complete the Starkiller base.

 

It was time to face the music. 

  
*


	17. xvii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Trial: Part One.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was astronomically hard to write. Not only did I come down with a sinus infection but also I'm not a lawyer, and trying to come up with a plausible sounding trial was pretty difficult. Special thanks to everyone who reached out to help me.
> 
> This is for Lex, Song, Sasha, Sera and Dani <3
> 
> No Mando'a this time, couldn't fit Kiel in there. 
> 
> I can be found on [tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/), for all your needs, as usual!
> 
> Here it is, y'all. The Trial, part one of three.

Xvii.

 

Hux met his barrister the night before the trial, and he couldn't help but be impressed by Leia's choice. She was a tall, svelte twi'lek with vibrant blue skin and flinty violet eyes. The lines of her suit gave her a sharpness to her character and profile that Hux appreciated. When she strode into his room - not quite a holding cell, not quite a hospital bay - he gave her a twisted half bow. He'd had four days to get used to his arm being missing, even though his shoulder was as healed as it was going to get, but he still tried to bring his arm up to press his right hand against his heart. 

 

Her lips thinned when she saw the aborted half gesture, and she nodded to him once. "General Hux, I am Dara, I volunteered to be your barrister for this trial." 

 

His estimation of her went up another full notch at that. "You volunteered," he repeated. "That's somewhat surprising, given my reputation." 

 

She didn't smile. "Your reputation is in tatters, General," she said, without inflection. "If you did not have me, you would have no one." 

 

Hux quirked an eyebrow, looking down at his lap. "Oh believe me, Miss Dara," he said quietly. "I'm well aware." 

 

Dara sat in the seat left for her, while Hux leaned back in the bed. "General, we don't have a lot of time, today. Just enough to go over our strategy, who your character witnesses are, and who may be against you from the prosecution team. Thankfully, they don't have any witnesses that can truly malign your name, due to most of the Order being unavailable to comment, and even if we were to have them, most of them will likely be cursing your name." 

 

Snorting, Hux laughed, a quick, vaguely hysterical giggle. "When I planned those attacks against the Order that wasn't exactly my intention," he said. 

 

At that, she did offer him a small concilliatory smile. "That works in your favor as well," she pointed out. "Now, your character witnesses: Ben Organa-Solo, Finn, Tempest, Han Solo, Rey Hux, and Niamh Hux." She frowned down at the page. "I didn't realize you had other family other than your father." 

 

Ren had made him promise to be honest with the barrister but it chafed to say, "Niamh is my mother. Rey Hux is... Something of an adopted sister. I'm certain she doesn't have any records to state otherwise, she decided to take my name after the fall of Supreme Leader Snoke." 

 

Dara made a notation on her datapad. "Why did she chose to take your name?" she asked, not so much curious as informative. "That seems an odd thing to do, considering." 

 

"The day we struck down Snoke was the day he revealed that she was his daughter," Hux said wincing preemptively. 

 

She placed the datapad down on her lap, slowly looking up at Hux. "You're telling me," she said ponderously, "that Supreme Leader Snoke had a daughter, and she decided to take your name instead." 

 

He frowned back at her. "Rey didn't know she was Snoke's daughter until that moment." 

 

Dara sighed. "That's a complication I hope we can avoid. If she didn't know, then let's hope no one else knows either." 

 

Hux privately agreed with her. "Ren-- er, Ben's testimony I'm certain will be equally heart wrenching or utterly deplorable," he said, sighing. "Who else was on the list? Tempest? He's a good man, has a solid head on his shoulders. Finn of course, is the darling of the Republic. Did you--- Did you say Han Solo?" he said, in absolute shock. 

 

"Yes," Dara said, her eyes daring him to complain. "It was decided that Leia Organa was compromised by her position as your General and couldn't give an unbiased testimony." 

 

"Yes, but," Hux said, feeling desperate. "What about Luke Skywalker?" 

 

Dara checked her datapad. "Luke Skywalker was chosen to be the overseer of your trial, due to his status as the Last Jedi, and his promise to hold the balance." 

 

Hux blinked, absorbing that. "Who in the twenty seven hells decided that?" he asked, incredulous. 

 

"Brendol Hux Sr," Dara answered promptly. "He went to the rest of the Galactic Council and said that Leia had thrown in her lot with you and she should be removed as the final vote." 

 

Of course he did. 

 

Taking a deep breath to still his heart rate, Hux nodded slowly. "So who is on the council?" 

 

"Luke Skywalker, Brendol Hux Sr., Anton Standish, Ileon Axel, Tendo, Mirtha, and Dua Nieuv," Dara answered promptly. "Anton is a survivor from the Battle for Yavin 4, and survived the Hosnian Prime destruction by sheer virtue of being off planet. Ileon Axel is a native of Hosnian Prime, who was on a transport ship to Coruscant when the planet was destroyed. Tendo is an Ithorian from Telos. Mirtha is a Quarren who was born on Hosnian Prime. Dua Nieuv is an x-wing pilot from Gold Team, his fleet died when Hosnian did." 

 

Hux stared at her, eyebrows raised as high as they can go. "And... No one thinks this particular judge line up is weighted out of my favor?" 

 

Dara put the datapad back down and met his eyes. "Hux, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but no one cares." 

 

He closed his eyes, choking back his reaction to the information. It wasn't the first time he'd thought about losing, but it was the first time he had so many facts to back it up. "Fine," he says, letting out a long breath. "Who is the barrister for the other side? Your counterpart." 

 

Dara's lip curled up. "His name is Luca Antis. The man is a snake, made of oil and..." She trailed off and spat out a word in vicious Ryl. He'd heard Ganna and Ren use it before and he snickered. "You speak Ryl?" she asked in surprise. 

 

"Not at all, but Ben speaks it fluently. I've rarely been without his company, in this last year." 

 

She nodded, eyes raking him. "Hux, this is going to get very personal for you," she said, and her words were hard where her tone was gentle. "You will have to speak of things you perhaps might wish to ignore." 

 

He met her gaze, matching steel for steel. "I know what I must do," he said, thumb pressing into the ring on his finger. "I have everything to lose, Miss Dara. I'm not going to play fast and loose with his life, let alone the one we have together." 

 

Dara handed him the datapad. "These are the questions I will ask you, and the questions Antis will likely ask you. I suggest you memorize them." 

 

He flicked through the information quickly. "I suppose the only good thing about my father being on the Council is that he won't be able to testify," he murmured. 

 

"Write up any information you think I might need," she instructed him after a moment of silence. "I don't like being surprised and if you suddenly say something I'm not expecting, then I can't help you anymore. You'll be on your own." 

 

Hux nodded. "I will. Thank you." She stood, brushing off her pants. "Get some sleep, Hux. You'll be in for a long few days." 

 

*

 

Hux only briefly saw anyone as they moved him from his room to the holding cell in the building they were holding the trial. Ren, Rey, and Blue had been standing in the hall as the New Republic soldiers, all unknown to Hux, moved him from the transporter. He'd managed a quick smile for Blue, who had seemed very small and nervous and brushed his mind across the connections to Rey and Ren. 

 

Dara met him in the room a moment later, taking the datapad he'd come in with. He'd filled out all her questions to the best of his ability, even adding his own and answering those as well. He'd written pages of information on his childhood, and the tortures he'd been forced to endure under the First Order's thumb. 

 

He'd written at length about his partnership with Revan Ren and her sadistic Knights, all the lackeys and lapdogs of Supreme Leader Snoke. Everything he could think of, he'd expelled out of him in messy lines written in the datapad. 

 

Dara glanced through it, looking up in surprise. "All this is true," she said, voice tilted up like a question. 

 

"Every bit," Hux said tiredly. "Everything I could remember. There are some parts that I simply don't, especially around the time I defected from the First Order. There is a great deal of missing time. I don't actually remember physically leaving the Finalizer." He shrugged one shoulder. "But clearly it was something that happened." 

 

Dara nodded. "Good to know, thank you. This is more than I'd hoped for." 

 

He offered her a sad smile. "Miss Dara, there's a reason I was the youngest general the Order had ever seen. It wasn't because I was pretty." 

 

The hard lines of her face softened into a smile. "I can see why you have so many people on your side, Hux. You're an intelligent, charismatic man. Keep that when they finally call you to the stand." 

 

"Who will be called first?" he wondered. 

 

Dara looked at the line up notes on her own datapad. "Antis asked for Rey to go first," she said. "I'm not certain you've seen trials like this before, Hux," she said. "Truthfully, there aren't any others in our history like this one. When someone is called to give a testimony, we will ask our questions. Antis goes first, then once he has nothing else, I'll get my turn. However, if something comes up in my questioning that Antis requires clarified, he will have the chance to ask more questions. This will go until we are both satisfied." 

 

Hux huffed a sigh. "Poor Rey." 

 

"Yes. That he asked for her specifically first worries me. Her ident chip reads as Rey Hux, so I'm hoping he'll focus on the fact that she's not biologically related to you." 

 

Scoffing, Hux wrapped his good arm around his ribs, trying to stem some of the ache. "I can only imagine my father's reaction to her name." Dara's grimace told him he didn't actually want to imagine it, and he pushed away another frisson of nerves. 

 

Someone banged on the door before either of them could say anything else, and a soldier stuck his head into the room. "We're starting," he said gruffly. 

 

Hux levered himself up, dropping his arm - he'd refused any pain medication for the last two days, he'd wanted to be clear headed for this - and stepped out of the room with his head held high.

 

*

Once they were all seated, all the council, all the witnesses, and Hux himself, Luke stood. He was in the middle of the seven council members, his cybernetic hand hidden behind him. "Good Morning," he said evenly, all traces of dry humor scrubbed from his voice. He barely sounded like the man Hux had come to respect. "My name is Luke Skywalker and I've been asked to run these proceedings. I realize that the coming days will be long so I'll endeavor to be brief. Cian Armitage Hux stands accused of the destruction of the Hosnian System, most notably, Hosnian Prime. We have convened here today to judge his guilt over the Cataclysm, and the punishment that should be meted out." He paused, and Hux noticed how carefully Luke didn't look at him. "Should the vote today come to a tie, then I will be the last vote, as the Galactic Senate has asked." He looked down at the datapad on the desk in front of him. "Barrister Luca Antis, please call your first witness." 

 

Antis looked like the snake Dara had labeled him as. His black hair was thinning and slicked back, his smile had too many teeth. He stepped up in front of his own desk, and said, "I call Rey as my first witness, please." 

 

Several people turned to watch her. Rey stood with all the grace and poise of an Arkanis dancer and made her way towards the chair and table set up for witnesses. She was dressed all in greys and blues, wrapped much like Luke was in the vestments of her Order. She folded her hands together and laid them on the desk, looking up at Luca Antis with calm, neutral eyes.

 

"State your Name for the record," Antis told her. Hux didn't like the look of him, the way he stared at Rey like a starving nexu.   
  


Rey didn't even blink, leaning in as though for emphasis. "Rey Hux," she said clearly, proudly. Her expression dared anyone to say otherwise.   
  


Hux was watching Antis though, which was why he caught the half victorious, half vindicated smile that stole across his face. "I'm sorry," he said with so much oily condescension that it seemed to physically drip from him, "but this court only recognizes true names."   
  


Her mouth tightened but Rey sat up straighter. "Rey Snoke," she amended acidic and snappish. 

 

The satisfied look deepened on Antis’ face and Dara sighed. Hux thought she did an admirable job of keeping her emotions well hidden, despite the annoyance he knew she had to feel. The room swelled with whispers for a second before Luke cleared his throat.   
  


Personally Hux didn't think it mattered how the Galactic senate found out. Clearly they had, and finding the leak would take too much effort.    
  


"Miss Snoke," the barrister said smoothly, visibly watching her face for a reaction. "Tell me, in your own words, how you met General Hux."   
  


The only response that Hux could track on her face was a slight tension around her mouth. "I met Commander Hux," she said with palpable stress on his title, "for the first time when he commanded the Finalizer.  He was quite loudly advocating against torturing me to his then second in command, Revan Ren. The second time I met Commander Hux was in a cell, at the Resistance base of D'Qar. He had come in the company of Ben, General Leia's son," she continued after a slight pause.    
  


"A well known smuggler," the barrister interrupted.    
  


If he thought that was going to throw her off, all Rey did was incline her head. "Yes," she answered. "Commander Hux defected after some time in our company, offering up information about the First Order's movements, their people."   
  


"Some time?" Repeated Antis, with a mocking edge skating along his words. "How long?"   
  


Rey thought about it for a moment, before deciding on a neutral answer. "A month, perhaps a bit more."   
  


"And what sparked such a change in heart for the General?" She was asked next and Rey glanced over at him before dragging her eyes back to Antis.    
  


"Ben," she answered sharply. "He'd gone on a mission and not returned and the Commander as well as the rest of us thought he was dead."   
  


"So you believe he was what? Saved by the power of love?" Scoffed the slimy man, shooting the council a look that clearly asked them if they believed this sort of drivel.    
  


Rey cleared her throat. "Of course not," she said. "To find Ben's murderer."   
  


"Ben is clearly alive and seated in this senate, Miss Snoke," the barrister drawled, poorly hidden amusement in his words.   
  


"Clearly," she agreed. "He was captured by Snoke, and tortured. We rescued him from Snoke's ship."   
  


"Snoke, your father," he interrupted again.    
  


Rey scowled. "My birth father and sire, yes. If ever I spent a significant time with him, I was too young to remember it. I have forsaken his name and taken one I found more worthy. For many years I was simply Rey, scavenger girl nothing abandoned on a nothing planet with nothing for a future, Mr. Antis. I could no more be called one of Snoke's get than you could. My parentage isn't in question, my relationship to Commander Hux is."   
  


Her arched brow was all his and Hux took a sip of his water to hide his proud smile. For the first time, Antis looked concerned, and he cleared his throat, looking down at his notes. "Indeed. And what is your relationship, exactly?"   
  


Rey smiled. "He's my older brother. I've never had one of those before. It's a novel experience. He brings me caf in the morning, and let's me hug him without complaint. He's a bright and brilliant man, and I've become a better pilot because of him.”

 

Antis raised an eyebrow, mirroring her expression. “This man you claim is bright and brilliant is a wanted criminal across two empires, Ms. Snoke.”

 

Rey’s eyes narrowed and she leaned in, resting her weight on her arms. “When I survived on Jakku, I met many men. Most of whom were more than willing to take what wasn't on offer, and once they were were refused, they took everything else. I starved every day trying to impress a foul creature of a man who could not be swayed. So when I sat with Cian Hux, deposed as he was, and he told me I could be more than a name, I could make my own choices I took his advice and chose." She swallowed hard, eyes shimmering. "Commander Hux is many things, Mr. Antis. He is not a kind man, nor is he a good one. But he is a loyal one, and I find that makes all the difference."   
  


Hux had frozen, hand still around the water glass, hovering halfway between his mouth and the table. Rey looked past Antis and met his eyes. There was a smattering of whispers that grew into a crescendo but Hux tuned them out. "You say he is a loyal man," Antis coughed out. "Yet you said he defected once already."   
  


Rey tilted her head to one side. "Is a man that has been left with nothing still a part of they that abandoned him?" She asked archly. "In a way, the Order left Hux first."   
  


The barrister Scoffed. "Do you deny that he blew up the Hosnian system?" He demanded.   
  


"No," Rey answered mildly. "Does the prosecution deny that he decimated the order fleet and killed their leader?"   
  


Antis waved that off. "That's immaterial," he said. "He should not have been allowed the opportunity."   
  


Hux glanced over when he saw Dara grip the side of the table. Her lips were pinched but her eyes were wide and Hux couldn't tell if she was happy or upset. 

  
Rey frowned fiercely at him. "I'm sorry Mr. Antis," she said, shocked. "Did you just say that it was more important to have this trial than it was to end the First Order regime?"   
  


Antis froze. Hux could see the fine tremble in his limbs as he sat down. "Of course not, Miss Snoke," he blustered.    
  


"That's what it sounded like," she said, unrelenting. "Without Cian, the attack wouldn't have happened. Without Cian, Leia would be dead. Without Cian and Ben, many of us would not be here today. Snoke would be in power, and innocent men and women would be enslaved by the Stormtroopers program. Are you honestly saying that all those things don't matter?"   
  


Antis crossed his arms over his chest. "It seems to me, Miss Snoke that you're the one attempting to erase the atrocity he committed against the Hosnian System."   
  


"No," Rey insisted. "Only shed some light on his other actions, lest they be forgotten under the weight of grief and anger."   
  


Antis' mouth tightened. "Nothing further," he snarled.

 

There was a dumbfounded silence, and Hux struggled to keep the proud expression from showing on his face. He shunted it along their bond, letting Rey know how impressed he was with the way she handled Antis. 

 

Dara stood, sliding her datapad over to the edge of the table where she could see it while standing. “Ms. Hux,” she said, shooting Antis a vicious look. “I hope you don’t mind if we backtrack a little. You mentioned you were raised on Jakku, were you born there?”

 

“No, Ms. Dara,” Rey answered. “Truthfully, I never knew my parents, and the first thing I remember is sand, and working on Jakku.” 

 

Nodding, Dara taps the edge of the table with one finger. “So the only family you’ve ever known, would be the Hux’s? Is that accurate to say?”

 

Rey thought about it for a moment before nodding slowly. “I’d seen families before, on Jakku. And when I left and ended up on D’Qar, I saw families there too. But they were remote, close enough to touch but not experience myself. Cian and Niamh were the first to show me any familial affection.”

 

“And you would call yourself Hux even after this trial, however it ends?” she asked.

 

There was another pause. Hux had known this question was coming but it had clearly taken Rey by surprise. She blinks once, twice, and met Dara’s eyes. “Even if it comes to pass that Cian doesn’t walk out of here, even if Cian is put to death, yes, Ms. Dara. I will still call myself Rey Hux.”

 

Dara nods, making a note on her datapad. “Let me ask you another hypothetical,” she said, looking to Luke for permission. “Do you believe that Cian Hux - in your opinion- has changed?”   
  


That wasn’t on the list of questions Dara had given him. Hux stared at her, but Dara was solely focused on Rey. For her part, Rey didn’t look surprised, only contemplative. “The Jedi teach us that there is no anger, and there is no hate. That these things lead to an imbalance in the Force. Jedi who fall for the Dark side can and have come back from it, they repent and atone, and they change. My brother doesn’t have the Force, there is no cut and dry Dark Side or Light Side for him to fall on. But if a dark jedi can turn his back on the forces of hate and anger, so too can a normal man. Yes, Ms. Dara, I believe that Cian has changed.”

 

Dara inclined her head. “Nothing further,” she said pleasantly.

 

Luke stirred, turning his attention to Antis. “Mr. Antis do you have any new questions for Ms. Hux?”

 

He stood. “I do, actually. Thank you.” He circled back around the table, leaning against it and regarding Rey. “You believe General Hux has changed,” he reiterated. “By what qualifiers do you propose he’s changed?” He held up a hand before Luke could finish drawing breath to object. “I realize you’re not trained in psychoanalysis, Ms. Snoke. From a purely hypothetical statement, you’ve claimed to believe he’s changed. What actions has he taken to make you believe so?”

 

Rey looked briefly annoyed at the question and she ticked off a point using her fingers. “He saved General Organa’s life, before officially defecting to the Republic’s side.” Another tick. “He taught the X-Wings all the maneuvers required to counteract the TIE fighters.” Another tick. “He planned and orchestrated the attack on the Aristarchus, as well as the last major Star Destroyers, and killed Snoke himself.” Another tick. “He risked his life to save General Wedge Antilles when the prison barge ship went down.” She laid her hand down on the table. 

 

Antis nodded. “All fair points,” he said, and Hux narrowed his eyes. “Thank you, Ms. Snoke. Nothing further.”

 

Luke gestured and Rey stood from her seat, walking between Dara and Antis and going back to her seat next to Ren. Swiveling in his seat, Luke turned to Dara. “It’s your turn to call a witness, Ms. Dara,” he said kindly. “Proceed.”   
  


She nodded. “I call Tempest, if you please.” Tempest stood, walking with long strides to the chair that Rey had just vacated. His normally dusky skin was pale with nerves and stress and he twitched a little when everyone’s eyes focused on him. “State your name for the record,” Dara coaxed him.

 

“Er. I went by Designation TS-6006,” Tempest said awkwardly. “But my Unit… my Stormtrooper unit called me Tempest.”

 

Dara nodded, even though she already knew all that. “And why was that, Tempest?”

 

“I was trained with electrostaves, Miss,” Tempest said, shoulders relaxing as he talked about his favorite weapons. “I could generate a small electrical storm with the right move pattern and weaponry. The nickname stuck, and when I defected, I kept it.”

 

Dara nodded. “Thanks to another of your compatriots, we already know a great deal about the Stormtrooper program. But for the purposes of this trial, will you tell us a little about it?” 

 

Tempest swallowed. “Sure,” he said. “What do you want to know?”

 

“What’s the first thing you remember?” Dara asked, gently. 

 

“My first clear memory is sparring with my bunk partner,” Tempest said after a second. “We were paired by gender, then by build. Because I was a tall child, my bunk mate was also tall and thin. It was to make us more effective at fighting as a unit. I was maybe five, at the time.” He offered a self deprecating smile. “But I don’t know a good number. I don’t know how old I am now, in fact.”

 

Most of this would be new to Dara, Hux thought with some remorse. “And you were in the same TS unit with this bunkmate, and all the others?”

 

“Yes ma’am,” Tempest answered immediately. “Once our unit was formed and labelled, we stayed together until reassignment or death.”   
  


“And what did you have to do to escape your unit, Tempest?” Dara asked, voice cracking like a shot across the silent room.

 

Tempest winced. “I killed them, ma’am,” he said quietly. “They refused to let me leave the unit, threatened me with reconditioning.”

 

“Reconditioning?” Dara asked.

 

“Yes. Any aberrant behaviors were dealt with harshly, in the Stormtrooper program. If the behavior was too much for standard punishment, then we would be sent to the Knights of Ren for reconditioning. I was only reconditioned once, thankfully. We’d been out on a mission, and our Captain had ordered us to clear a building. It was full of children, barely older than ourselves, and I refused the order.”

 

Dara nodded again, waving him on. “What happened, Tempest?”

 

Tempest took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “They took me into the holding cells, held me without food, or water for four days. They kept all the lights on, and whenever I started to fall asleep, someone would come wake me up. After four days of that, Revan Ren or another of her Knights would come in and…” He trailed off. “I don’t know how to explain it. They were Force users, dark jedi, and they could reach into people’s heads and… change things.” He looked down. “By the end of a week, I didn’t remember a thing about the mission I’d failed to complete. When they put me on another, and asked me to do the same thing I’d once refused to do, I followed through and I did what was ordered of me.”

 

“And why do you remember now?” Dara asked curiously.

 

Tempest chewed on his lip. “We heard about FN-2187, er, that’s Finn, that he defected. I started wondering and then I started remembering. It only came as broken nightmares first, and then later, once I was on D’Qar and safe, Luke Skywalker helped me repair my mind.”

 

“Thank you,” Dara said when Tempest stopped to take a sip of water. “I’m sure that couldn’t have been easy for you. When you left the employ of the First Order, you immediately signed on with Commander Hux and his crew. Why?”

 

“Because he’s the one that gave me a chance,” Tempest said immediately. “He got me away from the First Order, but he also let me onto his ship and into his crew. He spoke to me when I got nervous, and talked me through panic attacks. When he had to leave the ship, he trusted me to watch over it. I had seen him, in passing, when he was still a General. I thought him cold, cruel, unfeeling. When I saw him as Commander, none of those words could possibly apply to him.”

 

“Did you trust him?” Dara asked.

 

“With my life,” Tempest replied.

 

Looking satisfied, Dara sat down. “Nothing further.”

 

Antis stood, and looked over his datapad. “TS-6006,” he said, but it wasn’t a greeting. “Could you tell me what that stands for?” 

 

Tempest looked briefly frustrated. “I don’t know,” he denied. “I only know that my number, 6006 was number that I was. I was the six thousand and sixth TS unit member.” 

 

“And so the rest of your unit was 6007, 6008, and so on?” Antis asked. 

 

But Tempest shook his head. “No. By the end, my unit was myself, 6006, and eight others, all ranging from 1000-something to 7000-something.” 

 

“How did anyone keep track of who was who?” Antis asked, and the sickly sweet tone grated hard on Hux’s nerves. 

 

“They didn’t,” Tempest said flatly. “We weren’t people to them.”   
  


Antis smiled and it wasn’t a very nice smile. “Who came up with the Stormtrooper program, Tempest?” he asked.

 

“I don’t know,” Tempest answered, maybe not quite honestly. “I know that Commander Hux fought several of the other generals for more rights for us. Just before… everything… there was talk of scraping the program and starting fresh with clones. But Commander Hux refused to let anyone on the Finalizer kill us off.”   
  


“Is that why you were so willing to follow him?” Antis asked.

 

“In part.” Tempest leaned his elbows on the table, shoulders slumped. “There was a Captain, he started off on my ship and ended up on the Finalizer. His name was Astros - I don’t know who he was, or why he held his position but I do know that he was a vain, cruel man who hurt the Stormtroopers just because he could. So many people on board the Star Destroyers treated us like commodities, and not people. The women Stormtroopers, of which there were a fair few, were treated worse; like sexual objects who just happen to fire a pistol. If they said no, they were sent for reconditioning  _ at best _ . But Commander Hux refused to let anyone get away with that on the Finalizer.” Tempest smiled a little, clearly remembering. “He spaced one of the Lieutenants who hurt a female Stormtrooper in a different unit.”

 

Frankly, Hux had forgotten all about that. Dara slid her datapad across the table with ‘true, y/n?’ typed on it. With his left hand, Hux reached over and tapped ‘y’ in answer. She looked satisfied by the response. 

 

Tempest cleared his throat, fiddling with his water glass. “Truthfully sir, if you’re looking for a good reason why someone would defect from the Stormtroopers, I’m the wrong person to ask. I defected after it all started falling apart. A rat, leaving a sinking ship. If you want more of a concrete answer, I’d suggest asking Finn. He started it all, for me - for all of us.” 

 

Antis nodded. “One last question,” he said. “The Stormtrooper Reclamation Program, SRP. What do you know about it?”

 

“I know that Commander Hux set it up,” he said honestly. “There were other stormtroopers who sought out the New Republic, most of them reconditioned or hurt or worse. He reclaimed an old base on Yavin 4 after the second battle for it, and began training people how to break the conditioning without jedi interference. There are classes taught there, by various New Republic elite, teaching stormtroopers to read and write.”

 

“Nothing further,” Antis said, after a long pause. 

 

Luke stood. “I think at this time, we’ll take a quick break,” he said. “We will reconvene in an hour.”

  
*tbc


	18. xviii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Finn leaned his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his clasped hands. "There was an attack on D'Qar and he saved General Leia's life, even though during the chaos he could have easily escaped. He knelt before her and pledged his life to her cause, and from that moment on - he was one of us."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for Lex, Song, Sasha and Sera as usual. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me for so long everyone. I love you all.

 

Xviii.

 

Ren chewed on his thumb nail until he could taste blood. 

 

Hux looked calm, sitting in the front of the room, leaning his body towards Barrister Dara as they discussed something quietly. His skin was just a shade too pale, his mouth set in a firm line. Twice in a five minute span he went to reach for his glass of water with his right hand only to come up short, shoulders bowing forward. 

 

Rey touched Ren's hand, pulling his thumb away from his teeth. "Stop that," she said. "I can feel you radiating nerves." 

 

Exhaling slowly, Ren chewed on his lower lip. "I can't help it," he said. "We were... This wasn't supposed to happen." 

 

Her lips pressed together. "I know." 

 

"I had plans," Ren said softly, eyes on Hux's back. He itched to reach out and talk to him, but Uncle Luke had cautioned him against doing that. "You did well out there," Ren said, turning to face her. "Antis is full of bantha poodoo but you managed yourself really well." 

 

She smiled at him, the expression breaking up the weary nerves on her face. "Thank you," she said. "Honestly I just thought to myself: what would Ren do?" 

 

He snorted. "Lies. If you had really thought that, your actions would have been a lot different. We all know I can't hardly keep my temper." 

 

Rey pulled a face at him. "No one can fault you for being angry, Ren," she said. "We'll get through this." 

 

“What are we talking about?" His father asked, voice slightly hoarse as he climbed into the seat behind Rey. 

 

Turning to give him a smile, Rey answered, "We're talking about our testimonies." 

 

"Ah." Han rubbed his thumb over his forehead. "To be honest, kid, I have no idea why they asked me to speak on his behalf." Ren hadn't wanted to say it but he wondered that himself. "Don't get me wrong, the man is a smart fighter and he saved your life, Ben- sorry, sorry. Ren. So it's not like I hate him. But uh, you'd think they'd have asked someone who knew him better." 

 

Ren wrinkled his nose. "That might be why they asked you," he pointed out. "Otherwise they have a lot of people more inclined to forgive him. Me, the woman he claimed as his sister, half his crew. Having you there might be their way of looking for a negative testimony." He eyed his father severely. 

 

Han rolled his eyes, shoving at Ren's shoulder from over Rey's. "Don't worry so much, kid." 

 

Giving him a flat look, Ren gestured broadly at the courtroom. "Really?" he asked flatly. 

 

Luke stood up before Han could reply, and a hush fell over the crowd. "It's been an hour," Luke announced with little gravitas. "We will begin again. Mr. Antis, please call your next witness." 

 

Antis stood up, looking down at his datapad before nodding. "I call Niamh Hux as my first witness," he said, his nasal voice brimming with something Ren would almost call delight. He watched as Hux's mother stood from her position by Leia and walked up to the podium to take her seat. She, like Rey, folded her hands in front of her demurely and rested them on the edge of the table.

 

"Good luck," he murmured to her. 

 

"Madame Hux," Antis said, smiling in a way that made Rey's lip curl. "Though I'm certain it's obvious enough, why don't you tell us how you know Cian Hux." 

 

She tilted her head to the side, bird like, eyes wide and guileless. "Cian Hux is my son, Mr. Antis," she said strongly. "My first born and only. He has my eyes... And my hair, the poor soul." 

 

A light laugh swept through the crowd and Rey beamed, amusing Ren. 

 

"I see," Antis said, and he looked over his datapad again. "General Hux's history was published for the public, but why don't you tell us more about his childhood, Madame Hux." 

 

Niamh's easy smile faded at the question and she turned shimmering green eyes on Luca Antis. "I'm afraid my ability to discuss Cian's childhood begins and ends rather quickly, Mr. Antis," she said. "I left when he was but a boy, perhaps six or seven." 

 

“Oh?" Antis asked. "And why was that?" 

 

"I wasn't married to Brendol then," Niamh said boldly, and Ren watched as the elder Hux twitched. "But as I'd born him a son, I was permitted to stay within the household. Cian always knew he was mine, and he was very close to me as a boy. Truth be told, Mr. Antis, I never did right by that boy, not until later. I wished I could have taken him with me, but Brendol terminated my position and... Well. He didn't allow Cian to accompany me." 

 

"What position did you hold, Madame Hux? And why did Brendol Hux terminate you from the household?" Antis asked, a slick smile on his lips. 

 

"I worked in the kitchens, Mr. Antis," Niamh said, and Ren had to give her credit. She didn't look the least bit ashamed of it. "I wanted to raise Cian as I had been raised - with respect and dignity, even for the servants. Brendol... He didn't agree with me." 

 

"And so you were terminated," Antis said. 

 

Niamh inclined her head. "I was. At the time, I wasn't even permitted to say goodbye to Cian. I spent the next several years following his career as diligently as I was able, working in other households, and eventually becoming a teacher. You see, Cian struggled in school, being an illegitimate heir to the Hux name. His teachers had either glorified him for his father's accomplishments, or vilified him for my standing. I sought to end that sort of behavior." 

 

Antis made a note on his datapad. "And what made you come back to General Hux, after so many years?" 

 

"I'm afraid this is a very personal answer, Mr. Antis," Niamh said. "Brendol found me again, just before the decimation of the First Order fleet. I suppose it wasn't too difficult, I was never hiding. He told me that his wife had left him - and he brought me back to his household. Not as a maid, but as his new wife. I had been struggling, Mr. Antis. The life of a teacher is a humble one, with it's pay a pittance. It felt... Inevitable, to return to my roots, and become Madame Hux." 

 

"But you left," Antis said, and though it wasn't a question, Niamh nodded anyway. "I did, yes. Brendol had been very angry recently. He was unwilling to listen, to me or to anyone in his retinue. I sought out my son, to mend our broken bridges and escape the loveless marriage I'd thought was best for me." 

 

Ren stopped paying attention to Antis and his loaded questions to focus on Brendol Hux. The man was too pale, his mouth set in a frown. Whoever he'd paid off to get on the Galactic Senate and alternatively, that Council, he'd likely not expected his estranged wife to start airing their problems in front of the galaxy and everyone. 

 

Rey's sharp gasp brought him back to the present and he turned back to look at Antis and Niamh. Whatever he'd just said had brought color flooding to Niamh's cheeks, and Luke had stood up from his place in the middle podium. "Mr. Antis," he said, and the forbidding tone made shadows gather in the corners of the room. 

 

"Allow me to rephrase," Mr. Antis said quickly. "What made you attempt to reconnect with General Hux again, despite the nearly thirty years you've been estranged?"

 

Niamh's lips pursed. "Because thirty years estranged or not, he is still my son, and I am still his mother. I had to try, even if I was sent away at the door." 

 

Antis nodded, sitting down slowly. "Nothing further." 

 

Dara touched Hux's shoulder and he nodded to whatever her silent question was. She stood, walking around the front of her table and giving Niamh a glass of water. "Madame Hux - Niamh. Can I call you Niamh?" 

 

She nodded. "You may, Miss Dara. I've never become accustomed to titles." She took a sip of her water, looking over at Hux's barrister with calm eyes. 

 

"Thank you, Niamh. I only have a few questions so I'll make this brief." Dara tapped her fingers to her lips, and asked, slowly, “Why exactly did you leave Brendol Hux, Niamh?” 

 

There was a pregnant pause, as Brendol began flushing dully and Niamh looked down. “He hit me, Miss Dara. That is why I left.” Though the information was clearly paining her, Niamh smiled a little. “I suppose he assumed I’d be too ashamed to speak of it. But I have regained my son’s trust, Miss Dara. That’s enough for me - I would bear any shame, to help him find his true potential.”

 

Dara nodded. “Then I have nothing further.”   
  


The entire courtroom looked at Antis who shook his head. “I have nothing else,” he said quickly. 

 

Luke nodded once. “Very well. Niamh you may return to your seat. Miss Dara, please call your next witness.” 

 

Hux’s barrister turned to look at Hux again, and Ren took that moment to reach out to Luke.  _ Uncle? _

 

_ Yes, Ren?  _  His uncle replied, though he never looked in Ren’s direction. Ren didn’t exactly reply, instead letting all his anxiety flood their connection.  _  He’s doing fine, Ren,  _ Luke said soothingly.  _ This will be all over soon.  _

 

_ What is the point of this Uncle?  _

 

“I’d like to call Finn,” Dara said, cutting off their mental conversation, “as my next witness.”

 

Finn was sitting with Poe and the other x-wings, and he walked up to the table with long, confident strides. Once he was settled, he leaned back in his seat, and his disdain for Luca Antis was a palpable thing. “Miss Dara,” he greeted cordially. 

 

“Finn,” she said without smiling, “Your history is something of a legend. Can you recap it, and how you met Commander Hux the first time?”

 

“I was a Stormtrooper,” Finn said evenly. “My designation was FN-2187. I’ve only been going by Finn since just before Starkiller base fell - one of the x-wing pilots, Poe Dameron gave me the name and it stuck.” He paused to take a breath and that was when Ren noticed his nerves. “The first time I met the Commander, he wasn’t a General yet.”

 

Ren could see Hux’s head tilt to one side, as though surprised. Dara blinked once, and said, “He wasn’t?”

 

“No. The first time I met Hux, he was still a Lieutenant Major, and the Finalizer hadn’t been built yet, nor had Starkiller. It was… hm. Maybe eight years ago now? He was younger, and he wouldn’t have recognized me.”

 

Rey leaned over and murmured, “Did you know any of this?” Ren shook his head. 

 

“There was a mission,” Finn went on to say. “I don’t know the particulars, that was far above my clearance level, but a fairly large group of First Order soldiers went to an unknown planet. Six hours later we received a distress call, and my unit was the one deployed to check it out.” 

 

Hux’s water glass clinked loudly against the table when he put it down too hard, drawing Finn and Dara’s attention.  

 

“There were two survivors of that mission, Miss Dara,” Finn said. “The Commander and his superior officer, General Yvaine Taskin. Taskin left the ship, and Hux was promoted, the first in a short series of promotions.” Finn cleared his throat. “The second time, I really remember seeing the Commander is on the Finalizer. He’d become a General by then, and he was told he had to share leadership with Revan Ren, one of the Knights of Ren.”

 

"A woman he later help kill," Dara said. 

 

Finn nodded. "I wasn't with Captain Ben and Commander Hux when they took out the other six Knights of Ren. But I was when Ben killed Revan, though Commander Hux wasn't with us." 

 

Dara nodded, making a note on her datapad. "Alright. So Commander Hux had to share leadership of the Finalizer. What did that change?" 

 

Shrugging one shoulder, Finn said blandly, "In theory, nothing. Commander Hux was in charge of all the mundane things, while Revan took over the... Reconditioning program for us - the Stormtroopers. I know Tempest told you about the reconditioning process, and I never went through it. As FN-2187 I had very little time with her, I followed my orders and I did as I was supposed to." 

 

"Until you defected," Dara prompted. 

 

Finn's expressive face fell and he nodded slowly. "Yes. Until I defected. I had a... I suppose you would call him a friend, though we were only bunk mates. He wasn't a very good soldier, wasn't a very good stormtrooper. I spent a lot of time covering for him because we all knew what happened to ineffective assets. We were deployed to find a Resistance commander, because he had information Revan Ren wanted. On that mission we captured Commander Poe Dameron but we failed in our objective, and there was a fire fight. My friend died... I remember him reaching out for me, as he always did, there was blood everywhere. On the ground, on my helmet, in my mouth from where I bit through my lip. I looked across the... Needless slaughter and I knew. I couldn't stay there." 

 

When Finn swallowed, his throat audibly clicked and he reached for his glass of water, draining the whole thing. Dara gave him a few seconds to compose himself. 

 

When he looked up again, she said, "And the third time you met Commander Hux?" 

 

"The third time I met Commander Hux, he was in a jail cell on D'Qar, and I'd just told him that Captain Ben had been killed by Revan Ren." 

 

"And what happened?" Dara asked. 

 

Ren had never asked. 

 

"He was... Visibly upset," Finn said. "He didn't believe me at first, I think, because I had to repeat myself. I don't really remember what I'd expected him to do, he'd seemed cold, on the Finalizer. Emotionless. But he asked - begged, really - to be given a communicator so he could call Ben's closest friends, ones uninvolved in the war between the Order and us, ones who might never otherwise be told." Finn smiled a little, touching the rim of his empty water glass. "It surprised me, truthfully. I'd never seen anyone in a position of power actually... Make the tough calls." 

 

Dara nodded. "How did sitting in a jail cell making 'tough calls' lead into Commander Hux becoming the man we see today?" 

 

Finn leaned his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his clasped hands. "There was an attack on D'Qar and he saved General Leia's life, even though during the chaos he could have easily escaped. He knelt before her and pledged his life to her cause, and from that moment on - he was one of us." 

 

"Thank you, Finn. I have nothing further," Dara said. 

 

Ren bowed his head as Antis stood up. "So," the snake said. "FN-2187. You were one of the ones that destroyed Starkiller Base." Finn nodded once. "Tell me," Antis said. "How did General Hux take that?" 

 

Finn scowled immediately, dark eyes glaring daggers into Luca Antis' face. "Mr. Antis," he said crisply, "I wasn't there. I don't know what his reaction was. You'll have to ask him once this farce of a trial finally stops dragging him through the mud and he gets a chance to speak for himself." 

 

The entire court erupted in whispers and giggles as Antis blinked in shock. Ren smothered his own grin, as Rey leaned into him snickering. It seemed Finn's patience had finally ran out. "Farce?" Antis said in exaggerated shock. 

 

"Yes," Finn said, putting his hands down flat on the table. "When Luke Skywalker asked me to be apart of this, I assumed it was so we could talk about why Commander Hux should remain a part of our army, so that the people who don't understand what we've done can hear about it from the lips of those who experienced it. Instead, you seem to be attempting to make the Council believe that Commander Hux is a bomb ready to go off, just waiting to destroy another star system." 

 

"You don't deny he destroyed the Hosnian System?" Antis asked, sounding surprised. Finn shook his head. "No. No one is denying what he's done, he's not even denying it. He knows what he's done, and he's been attempting to make up for it. So I suggest we let him, instead of forcing him to sit through this." 

 

Antis opened his mouth but Luke stood up. "Thank you Finn," he said firmly. "That will be all." He stared Antis down when he looked like he was going to protest. "I suggest we reconvene tomorrow morning, as it's quite late. Barristers, if you please," he gestured for the doors. 

 

Finn got up from his chair and walked by Hux, placing a hand on his good shoulder. "Sorry sir," he murmured. Ren was too far away to hear what Hux murmured in response but it made Finn smile. 

 

Deeming it safe enough, Ren reached out and touched their connection.  _ Hang in there, Cian, _ he said quietly. 

 

_ I'm just ready for all this to be over, _ came the subdued response as Hux and Dara stood. 

 

As the other Council members left the room, Luke stepped down and went to Ren. "We need to talk," he said quietly. "Meet me in my rooms here in an hour." 

 

It seemed there was  more going on than simply a trial. Things were finally starting to get interesting. 

 


	19. xix.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Revan Ren was… a special case.”_
> 
> _“A special case?” Dara asked. “How so?”_
> 
> _“Well I died, for one thing,” Ren said dryly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Lex, Sasha, Song, Sera, and Dani <3
> 
> No Mando'ade this chapter because we're still in the Trial. (Part 2.5 of 3). This chapter was a LOT of fun to write. #SorryNotSorry
> 
> As ever I can be found [tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/), for all your needs (be they Kylux, Stormpilot, Dishonored or anything else under the sun. 
> 
> Happy Holidays, everyone. I love you. :D

****

Xix. 

 

Ren followed his Uncle into a room without windows, finding his mother already there. “What’s going on?” he asked, beyond curious. 

 

Leia looked exhausted but there was amusement in her eyes. “I didn’t expect it to be Finn’s patience that ran out,” she explained. “He’s not wrong - this trial has far less to do with Cian’s actions and more to do with the fact that we have a traitor in our midst.”

 

Tilting his head to one side, Ren asked, “is this supposed to somehow reveal who the traitor is? Because I’m not seeing how.”

 

“Because if it looks like we’re going to lie all of our First Order problems at Hux’s feet, then our spy can work with more impunity, and we’ll be able to more easily catch him,” Luke said. “I don’t like it either and I promise you, Hux likes it even less. Especially because all three of the rest of you will have to speak soon.”

 

Ren pulled a face, rubbing his forehead. “Please don’t remind me.”

 

Luke patted him sympathetically on the shoulder. “You’re going to be fine,” he promised. 

 

Shaking his head, Ren just sighed. “Uncle, if this doesn’t work - what are our options here?”

 

“Realistically?” Luke asked, glancing over at Leia. “You don’t have many. And I’m sorry for that.” 

 

Leia stood, taking up the slack on Luke’s answer. “If the Council votes for the death penalty, then we’ll be forced to do something drastic to either overturn it, or… well, I suppose he could fake his own death. That’s the worse case scenario, I’m afraid. If the Council doesn’t vote for a death penalty, then they’ll come up with an appropriate punishment for him.”

 

Ren smiled, but it was a humorless little thing that hurt his cheeks to hold. “Hasn’t he been punished enough?”

 

“For the people who lost their home?” Luke asked, and there wasn’t anything he could say to that. It was true; Hux did blow up the Hosnian system. He’d never denied it. Ren almost wished he had, but he’s always been a selfish man.

 

“I had plans,” he said, trying to stop the plaintive note from entering his voice. “We were going to run off into the galaxy together.” 

 

Luke smiled, and Ren could hardly look at the expression, the kindness found there was almost too overwhelming. “I have some thoughts about that,” he said lightly. “We can talk more later. Above all Ren - I know you’re a grown adult and having your uncle tell you what to do chafes - but please. Control your temper today.”

 

Sighing, Ren nodded. “It’s been difficult enough already. I’ll do my best, Uncle.”

 

Luke looked over at the door, head tilted like he was listening for something. “We should go back in. Your father will go before you, I imagine that’ll be pretty short,” he said with a half smile. 

 

“This should be fun,” Ren muttered with heavy sarcasm. 

 

He followed his mother back out in the trial room, meeting Hux’s eyes briefly. Despite the doctors giving him a clean bill of health, he didn’t look  _ well _ . He was pale, his light smattering of freckles standing out in sharp relief on his skin. Under the lights, his skin looked waxy and damp with sweat, and Ren  _ hated  _ this with a passion that burned.

 

After the war was over he’d wanted to take Hux, swan off to some planet in parts unknown and stay there until one of them got bored of doing nothing. 

 

They’d had options before. Now they have nothing.

 

For everything he’d learned over the last year, for all the training he’d gone through and all the near death experiences and hardship, it seemed so unfair that their path ended here.  _ I’m okay _ , Hux murmured into his head, just as his father took the witness seat.  _ Please stop making that face _ . 

 

“Han Solo,” Luca Antis said, and Ren refocused on reality. “No need to break from tradition here. Why don’t you tell us about the first time you met General Hux?”

 

His father looked annoyed, and shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t remember meeting him,” he said gruffly. “I was just told that my son was dead, and I was drunk. Hux came and dragged my sorry ass out of the gutter, and yelled at me until I stopped drinking. I only remember pieces. Mostly him pushing me down a path and telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself.”

 

There was a wave a snickering from the audience and Ren really, really wanted to know the full story behind that moment. 

 

“I’m certain you know his history,” Antis said, that oil condescension creeping through his tone again. “Let me ask an opinion then: his romantic history with your son is fairly well established. What do you think, as a father, of General Hux as a suitable partner?”

 

A vaguely annoyed expression flitted across his father’s face and Ren suppressed a smile. “I think that my son is old enough to make his own choices and since I never was anyone’s idea of a good romantic partner for a Princess and we made it work anyway, I can’t tell him who to choose for himself,” Han said evenly. 

 

There was a beat of silence where the audience digested that and Ren looked over at his mother. Leia had her hand in front of her mouth, and he could tell by the edges of her thoughts that she was trying not to smirk. Antis coughed, bringing everyone’s attention back to the front of the room. “I see. So you approve?”

 

Han shrugged. “It isn’t my place to approve,” he said blandly. 

 

“You’re saying that you’re completely alright with your son taking up with a mass murderer of beyond epic numbers?” Antis asked, his voice tailored to show the maximum amount of skepticism. 

 

“Okay, listen here. My son could choose whoever he wanted and the only thing I would care about is if he was happy,” Han said, leaning on the table. “Either ask me something else or go away.”

 

Antis paused for a second before he slowly sat back down. “Nothing further,” he said, half a question. 

 

Dara stood up before he’d even finished talking. “I apologize, Mr. Solo,” she said strongly. “I just want to clarify one point you made. You’re telling us that you support your son’s choices no matter what, is that what you’re saying?”

 

Han sighed. “Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.”

 

She smiled. “Thank you, Mr. Solo. Nothing further.” 

 

There was a short pause as Luke looked over at Antis but he shook his head. “Han, you can go sit down,” Luke said, failing to keep some amusement out of his voice. “Thank you for your cooperation. I now call Ben Organa-Solo.”

 

Ren stood up. He made his way up to the chair his father had just vacated, pointedly not passing by Hux’s side. The urge to touch him was too great. He settled in the chair, crossing his arms over his chest. 

 

It was Dara’s turn to go first which Ren appreciated, it would be better for everyone if he just never had to talk to Antis but that wasn’t likely to happen. “Mr. Solo,” Dara greeted. He fought hard not to wrinkle his nose, he’d agreed with his parents and Uncle Luke that it would be better to go by Ben than by his chosen name, if only for confusion's sake, due to the Knights of Ren being a thing that existed.

 

“Miss Dara,” he returned evenly, raising one eyebrow slightly. 

 

“Mr. Solo, why don’t you tell me a little about yourself,” she said, and Ren relaxed into his seat. 

 

He leaned his arms on the table, looking out over the audience. It was mostly Resistance members who had come to show their support. Poe and his X-wing compatriots were sitting with Finn on one side, while the other ex-Stormtroopers had congregated around Rey. 

 

The rest were Galactic Senate members not on the Council, and Ren met all their eyes challengingly. “Sure,” he said simply. “What do you want to know?”

 

“Just start with the basics,” Dara said.

 

Ren nodded. “I’m Ben Organa-Solo,” he said needlessly. “I currently Captain a ship called the Untouchable, but before I bought her and became a smuggler for the Resistance, I was enrolled in the Jedi Academy run by Luke Skywalker on Dagobah. I lived there until I was fifteen, which is when Supreme Leader Snoke sent his Knights of Ren to attack us. Most of the children there died,” he said, arranging his expression into one of sorrow. “All of my friends in my age group died defending the younger children. My friend Song, who tried to barricade a door was cut down when he was only nine. I lived because a portion of a wall collapsed on me and the Knights left me for dead.” He took a deep breath. “When I came too, everyone was dead or gone, and I left. I ran away.”

 

“Why didn’t you return home?” Dara asked gently. This part of their dialogue was rehearsed, to keep both Ren and the Council on track. 

 

“I was afraid,” Ren answered honestly. “The Knights of Ren were powerful Force Users, and as far as I knew, my Uncle and every other Force User was dead. How could I put the rest of my family in danger?”

 

Dara leaned against her table. “That’s a very difficult decision for a boy to make,” she noted.

 

“I was no boy,” Ren denied immediately. “I stopped being a child when I saw my friends bodies littered around me.”

 

“Fair enough,” Dara said evenly. 

 

Ren rolled his shoulders, trying to work some of the stiffness out of his spine. “I found work where I could. Survived. The last fifteen years don’t really matter much in the grand scheme of this trial so I won’t waste your time with details that you won’t care about. Suffice it to say that I lived, I taught myself the jedi ways in secret and I eventually became the man you see before you now.”

 

Dara nodded, and looked down at her datapad though Ren knew she didn’t actually need to look at it. “And how did you meet Commander Hux?” she asked.

 

“I met him in Mos Ila,” he said, not bothering to keep the distaste from his voice. “He needed to get off Tatooine - as does anyone sane - and I needed some extra money so I took him on as a passenger.” 

 

“Did you know who he was?” Dara asked.

 

“I did,” Ren answered. “I was in hiding from the Knights of Ren and from Supreme Leader Snoke, but I’m still a Force Adept. I knew who he was as soon as our eyes met. I took him on anyway.” 

 

Dara looked over at Hux and they had some sort of silent conversation using only their eyes and she turned back to Ren. “In the statements that General Leia released to the public, you said that you killed the Knights of Ren.”

 

“That’s true,” Ren said, smiling at the memories. “As soon as the first Knight attacked us, it became a game of cat and mouse. They were chasing us across the Galaxy so we turned around and chased back. There were six in all, not including Revan Ren. Revan Ren was… a special case.”

 

“A special case?” Dara asked. “How so?”

 

“Well I died, for one thing,” Ren said dryly. 

 

Dara paused. “You died?” she repeated incredulously. 

 

Raising an eyebrow, Ren nodded. “I did, yes. I killed Revan, but she killed me back, and Snoke took the opportunity to take over my mind. I’m alive now because of his grace. I wish I could tell you what he’d been thinking, but all I remember from my time as his puppet is pain.”

 

“Would you say you’re a particularly strong Force user, Mr. Solo?” Dara asked curiously, and Ren was brought up a bit short; that question wasn’t on their list.

 

“That’s sort of a loaded question, isn’t it?” he asked dryly. “I could say yes, but that’s egotistical and probably inaccurate. But if I say no, then I’m selling myself short.” He paused, thinking about it. “And it’s probably inaccurate.”

 

Dara smiled quickly, and Ren caught her flare of amusement. “Let me rephrase the question,” she said. “Are you a jedi?”

 

“No,” Ren answered honestly. “I’m not.” Dara blinked again, and her surprise was palpable. “You see, the Jedi of Old, the ones from the Old Republic so long ago had a code that I can’t adhere to. I tried, once, but it wasn’t mine to uphold. It didn’t fit me, or I… didn’t fit it. So no, I’m not a jedi.”

 

Dara frowned. “Does that mean you’re a… what’s the word, a sith?”

 

Ren snorted. “No, I’m not a sith either. You have to embrace the dark side of the Force to become a sith. I don’t embrace the dark side, but neither do I like to pretend it doesn’t exist. I simply live within both worlds.” He smiled a little, slanting a look up at Luke. “I guess you could say I’m both.”

 

Dara nodded, making a few notes on her datapad. “Thank you for that educational testimony,” she said dryly. “Tell me about Commander Hux.”

 

Curbing his initial response, Ren cleared his throat. “Commander Hux is the best friend I’ve ever had,” he said honestly. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Poe make an exaggeratedly outraged face and he added, “He’s had my back, and he’s saved my life more times than I can count - or even remember.”

 

“You’re very open about your relationship with him,” Dara noted blandly.

 

Ren shrugged one shoulder. “Cian turned his back on everything he’d ever known when I was gone, he took the fight to Snoke and killed him in my name. How could I not love that? How could I not love him, when he fights for me every day? He’s here in this trial because he wanted to avoid further bloodshed. Cian is many, many things, Miss Dara,” Ren said firmly. “He is a killer, because he was molded into one. He is a general, because he earned that title. He is also a commander for the same reason. He is a hard man, because life made him so. But he is also a loyal man, and that’s all I’ve ever needed.”

 

Dara sat back down, violet eyes assessing him. “Nothing further,” she said slowly. 

 

Antis stood up, circling his table and he smiled thinly at Ren. “Mr. Solo,” he said, and Ren couldn’t help the way he tensed up at the tone. “I’ve read the testimonies,” Antis said, a thick drawl in his voice. “Yours, the Generals, your parents. How can anyone of us believe that General Hux isn’t simply warming your bed for a better place in the Resistance?”

 

For a second, Ren was legitimately stunned into silence. 

 

He could feel rage boil under his skin, and the Force tightened around him. Antis was saved from becoming a smear on the floor by Dara and his Uncle both of whom loudly object. 

 

“That is not even an appropriate question,” Dara snarled, while Luke frowned down at Antis. 

 

Luke’s frown edged into a scowl. “Mr. Antis, I suggest you refrain from asking accusatory questions like that in the future,” he said. 

 

“It’s a relevant question,” Antis protested and Ren exhaled sharply.

 

“You know what,” he snapped before Dara could object again. “I’ll answer it. I have a good answer for that.” Antis looked surprised and turned to face Ren. “My answer is this: I don’t know that. I suppose all this could be an elaborate con so he can keep his life. He could have been playing me, for a solid year, by pretending to fall in love with me. How can anyone know anything like that? Even in a normal circumstance, how can anyone know whether or not the person they love actually loves them back? I have an answer for that too: they don’t. It’s all chance, and luck and the Force. So if Cian Hux is just  _ warming my bed _ to keep his life, then he chose the wrong bed to warm because quite frankly Mr. Antis, I have as much say about his life as he does right now.” He tightened his fingers on the desk in front of him. “Next question.”

 

Antis looked startled, and he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Tell me about the Knights of Ren,” he said, and Ren relaxed again.

 

“The first Knight we killed was Erasmo Ren, on Ord Mantell,” Ren said. “We’d gone there to help out the Mandalorian Fleet, and were attacked unjustly. The second and third Knight who attacked us was Castille Ren, and her partner Lucius Ren - both on Nar Shaddaa. I almost died that day, actually. Then there was Damascus Ren, who was hiding from us on Dantooine, and then there was Aleksi Ren, who was on Corellia, waiting for us. Wherever we went, they dogged our heels, and attacked us, so we killed them.” 

 

Antis, still looking vaguely uncomfortable nodded. “And Revan Ren was the last, yes. But these things happened before you officially rejoined the Resistance. Why was that?”

 

Ren shrugged. “I still believed that Snoke could find me. I was right, by the way - he found us, but it had nothing to do with my family. Does it matter how we got here, Mr. Antis?”

 

“Some would say so,” Antis replied. “If Snoke hadn’t found you, would you have ever returned to the Republic? Would your ‘best friend’ and ‘lover’ ever have?”

 

Rolling his eyes, Ren said, for what felt like the thousandth time. “I don’t know. I can’t know the answer to that question now can I? I can’t change the past. I only have the future now. The fact of the matter is, we came to the New Republic. Cian switched sides. We’re here, when we should be out there, fighting to get rid of the rest of the First Order. Something Cian does quite handily, for the record.”

 

Antis raised an eyebrow. “You don’t believe that General Hux should answer for his crimes?”

 

“I believe that Cian Hux has already answered for them,” Ren said solidly. 

 

That seemed to take him by surprise because Antis paused halfway through making a note on his datapad. “Can you elaborate?” he asked slowly.

 

“Of course,” Ren said, and smiled, letting his teeth show. “Example the first: Cian was tortured horribly before he escaped the Finalizer. Example the second: he was already incarcerated once and joined the Resistance anyway. Example the third: he almost died when his own ally shot him in cold blood on Lothal. Example the fourth: he gave himself up to the Galactic Senate, and when he had a chance to save himself from a crashing, burning ship, he chose to save General Antilles and a protocol droid instead. Example the fifth: his right arm.” He looked up at Antis, and sharpened his smile. “I know the Resistance doesn’t approve of torture, Mr. Antis. I’m certain most of them would say that losing your dominant hand is punishment enough.” 

 

Hux looked so pained at the reminder that Ren couldn’t help himself, and reached out to brush an apology over their bond. Antis put his datapad down. 

 

“A hand is a small consolation prize for those of the council who lost their homes,” Antis said sharply.

 

Ren didn’t change his expression. “I’m sure it is. Think of it this way, Mr. Antis,” he drawled, “Cian lost his home too - in fact he blew it up himself, to further the New Republic Army.”

 

A muscle ticked in Antis’ jaw and he sat down. “Nothing further,” he said shortly. 

 

Luke glanced at Dara who shook her head. He nodded to himself. “Thank you, Mr. Solo. You may return to your seat. Commander, come up please.”

 

Ren had just passed Hux’s seat when he stood and it took literally everything inside him to stop himself from reaching out for him. He sat by Rey, taking her hand when she reached for him. 

 

It was time.

 

“State your name for the record,” Luke told Hux without a trace of the gentle camaraderie he’d used for Hux for months. 

 

“My name is Cian Armitage Hux,” he answered clearly without a single trace of the nerves that Ren knew he felt. “I’ve been both General and Commander, but I don’t face this council as either.”

 

Luke nodded once. “Mr. Antis, ask your questions, and for goodness sake, please try to keep your questions appropriate.”

 

A trace of shame ran across Antis’ face as he stood up again, scrolling through his datapad. “Of course, Master Skywalker. General Hux,” he said, meeting Hux’s eyes. They were a clear bottle green, visibly tired and pinched in pain. “We have a lot to cover, I think. So why don’t we start from the beginning.”

 

“The very beginning?” Hux said dryly. “If you don’t mind, I’ll skip past the boring parts.” He took a deep breath. “I was born on Arkanis, four years before the Battle of Yavin 4, to a kitchen maid and Brendol Hux, a man on this council. I spent my formative years being either ignored by my father or ridiculed by him until I showed aptitude in all my lessons and in marksmanship. My mother didn’t want me enrolled in the Academy and she was very vocal about it, right up until the day she left and didn’t return. I went to the Academy where I was either being ignored by my teachers and peers or ridiculed by them.” 

 

“Your file notes that you were top of your class,” Antis interjected.

 

Hux nodded, a gleam of pride in his eyes. “And so I was. A lack of social compatriots meant I had more time to devote to my studies. Once I had passed the test for Force aptitude, I rose through the ranks until I could graduate early and get off Arkanis, away from the Academy and away from my father.”

 

Antis held up a hand. “A test designed to do what, exactly?”

 

“Supreme Leader wanted to find students with an adeptness for the Force,” Hux said blandly, but Ren knew how hard that had to be fore him. “I was not one of them.”

 

Frowning, Antis consulted his notes. “I didn’t realize there was a test to discover the Force, other than time.”

 

Luke frowned too, turning to face Hux. “There isn’t,” he said. 

 

Ren got suddenly very cold. He saw the realization on Hux’s face as it dawned on them both: Luke didn’t know. 

 

Hux swallowed hard, his throat bobbing visibly. “Supreme Leader Snoke designed it himself,” he said, but the same crispness of his words was absent. “He said physical duress would bring out any latent talents in us. He was right - put under enough physical duress, and some of the children in my age group showed signs of aptitude. One of the girls in my class successfully used the Force to push back our teacher.”

 

“Was she one of the Knights of Ren?” Antis asked instantly.

 

“No,” Hux responded quietly. “Our teacher killed her.”

 

The entire room was plunged into absolute silence. 

 

“He what?” Antis asked blankly.

 

Slowly, Hux relaxed his shoulder, his empty sleeve hanging at his side. “Anyone who showed an aptitude for the Force was killed, Mr. Antis,” he said. “But, I have no such thing so I was spared that, and I continued on in my studies. Once I had graduated the Academy I started on the Military, first as a Special Operative, called an Agent, and I worked my way up from that to General.” 

 

There was a long pause, and finally Antis asked, “that’s when you began to design Starkiller?” 

 

“Between being an Agent to becoming a General, yes. High Command told all the Engineers to start coming up with designs to improve upon the once renown Death Star. Mine was the only one that was workable.” Hux sighed. “It’s what made me a General, to be honest. Once I was given command of the Finalizer, I thought things would be different. But then Supreme Leader Snoke gave me Revan Ren, and my ship became a kriffing circus.” 

 

“How so?” Antis asked.

 

Hux shrugged his good shoulder. “Revan would have outbursts of absolute rage, destroying everything in her path, be it officer, console, hull, or stormtrooper. She was given the Cognitive Rewriting Program and she turned good soldiers into complete idiots. She didn’t care even a little about the men under her command, and openly let the Knights do as they wished.” Remorse flashed over his face. “I did what I could, I refused to let any of my officers follow in her footsteps, and I kept them as out of her way as possible. I complained to Snoke, time and time again that Revan was a wildfire kept only in check by the cold of space. My protests fell on deaf ears.”

 

“And all this lead up to you killing her?” Antis asked.

 

Hux took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “No. When Starkiller was destroyed, Snoke blamed me - called the design faulty, that I’d done it on purpose. Truly, I wish I could say that was true to you here and now, Antis. It was a simple flaw, only. He let Revan and her Knights take me apart, Revan invaded my mind and forced me to feel every millisecond of Hosnian dying, and then forced me to feel her absolute joy and pleasure from that day. She tore apart my head, and then she handed me over to Snoke.” His lips tightened and his face paled even more. “I don’t remember escaping the Finalizer. I woke up in an escape pod over Jakku, and escaped from there, bouncing from planet to planet until I found Ben on Tatooine.”

 

Antis paused, looking down at his notes. “We’ve all heard why Rey Snoke and Ben Solo think you joined the Resistance,” he said slowly. “Give us the real answer, General. Why did you turn your back on the Order? Why did you join the Resistance?”

 

“I was tired of the chaos,” Hux said quietly. “Everything I’d done had only made things worse. Ben was dead, as far as I knew at least, and my world had already burned. I thought to myself that I had been given a second chance - when the Order attacked D’Qar, I had a chance to escape. Ben’s ship had remained there, I was friendly with his droids, and his protocol droid had a subroutine to pilot the ship. In the chaos I could have disappeared into the black and never be seen or heard from again. But the galaxy would still be in chaos, would still be at war. I started this. I know that. But joining the Resistance meant I could finish it too.”

 

“... Nothing further,” Antis murmured, and sat down.

 

Dara looked over at Hux, then glanced at the council members. She didn’t stand. “Cian, I only have one question for you,” she said and Hux blanched. “Who was the teacher who tortured you when you were a boy and killed the Force Adepts revealed in your class?”

 

Hux went bone white, eyes a dark, apprehensive green. “Dara…” he said, almost pleading.

 

“Answer the question, Commander,” she said, not giving him an inch.

 

Shoulders slumping, Hux looked out over the audience. “My father,” he answered. “Brendol Hux Sr.”

 

If Ren had thought the room was silent after Hux told them about the torture, it was doubly silent now. No one moved, no one breathed. Everything was utterly, completely and totally still. 

 

Dara smiled. “Nothing further.” 

 

*tbc


	20. xx.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The Ithorian stood, eyes swiveling from Hux to Luke and back. “The answer to death is never more death,” he rumbled in his deep language. “I vote against the death penalty.”_
> 
> _Two to two._
> 
> Trial, Part 4 of 4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for Lex, Song, Sasha, Sera and Dani. I love you all, thank you for your support. 
> 
> So guys... way back in chapter 1, I said there was going to be no take back character deaths. At least one, probably two. #SorryNotSorry
> 
> No Mando'ade (next Chapter, I promise!) 
> 
> As ever, I can be found at [tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/), for all your needs!

Xx.

 

Brendol Hux Sr stood up, his face pale, and his lips thin. “I will not hear of such slanderous lies,” he snarled. “He is clearly trying to shake confidence in this council, and make a mockery of the Galactic Senate in the efforts to save his own skin!”

 

Luke turned to face him, his expression giving nothing away. “Do sit down,” he said, not quite kindly. “Each testimonial, including Cian Hux’s has been carefully scanned for secrecy or lies in the eyes of the Force.” He flicked a glance over the rest of the council members. “If there is nothing further from Miss Dara, or Mr. Antis, we will begin our deliberations.” His eyes narrowed dangerously and the room darkened a little around the edges. “Do not leave this building, Brendol Hux.” He nods to the barristers. “You may go, we will inform you when the deliberating is done.”   
  


Ren watched as Dara led Hux away, and eventually the rest of the audience was allowed to leave as well. He fell into step with Rey and his father, heading out into the hall. Most of the audience trickled away to other areas of the building, but Ren stayed by the main doors, waving away Rey when she offered to stay with him.

 

“You’re certain?” she asked. 

 

He nodded. “I’m not very good company now, I’m afraid,” he said with a rueful smile. “You should go check in with Finn. I’m certain he’ll need it.”

 

He wanted to listen in, but he’d promised Luke he wouldn’t interfere. Instead, he sat on the floor, eyes closed, ready to reach out and talk to Cian when a footstep in the hall distracted him. Ren opened one eye to see who had come back in the hall, and found Dara sitting there. “Well?” she asked sharply. “Come on then.”

 

Ren scrambled to his feet, following the barrister down the hall and around a corner towards a room with an impressive lock on the door. Silently, she opened it, and Hux looked up in surprise when swung on silent hinges. “Ren?” he said sharply.

 

Not waiting for Dara’s permission, or even another word, Ren strode into the room, reaching for Hux. “You two have an hour,” Dara said from the door. “And I’m locking you in. Be quiet, don’t do anything stupid and you both better still be in here when I return.” 

 

As soon as the door was closed behind him, Ren was on him. 

 

Hux knocked his chair over reaching for Ren. They collided in the middle of the room, all arms and hearts. “I’m sorry,” Ren said, running his hands over Hux’s back. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Fingers clenching in Ren’s jacket, Hux leaned his forehead on his shoulder, burying his face in Ren’s neck. He didn’t speak, just held on. Ren stayed out of his mind, running his hands up and down Hux’s back and neck. “It’s okay,” Ren added quietly, holding on tightly. “It’s going to be okay.”

 

“It isn’t,” Hux said quietly, leaning harder against Ren. “Even with that, even if they don’t let my father vote against or for me - I’m going to die.”

 

“No,” Ren said, the sound torn from him. “No, I won’t let you.”

 

Hux laughed softly, dragging Ren closer. “I wish you were right,” he said. “But you know as well as I do that my odds plummeted a long time ago.”

 

Ren snarled. “This is all my mother’s fault,” he growled. “She convinced you to turn yourself in, she and Uncle Luke!”

 

Finally pulling himself away from Ren’s shoulder and neck, Hux smiled. His eyes were bottle green and so very sad. “It wasn’t her fault,” he said quietly. “It wasn’t Luke’s either, and you know it. I made my own choices, and this was the best of all the terrible options I was handed.”

 

“But…” Ren said stubbornly and Hux covered his mouth with two fingers.

 

“Ren,” He said fondly. “We’ve discussed this before, this entire topic has been done to literal and actual death.”

 

Ren scowled harder, and pulled him for a short, heartfelt kiss. “They don’t see what I see,” he murmured against Hux’s mouth. 

 

“And what do you see?” Hux asked, sounding uncharitably amused. “Because I can tell you what everyone else sees. They see a monster, a murderer and Ren, _shut up_ _they’re right_ and that’s all anyone will ever see of me. You could film the rest of my life for the masses and they would never see anything but a man who murdered a planet system.”

 

“My grandfather did the same thing,” Ren said desperately. He could see the way Hux was pulling away, even as he tightened his grip on Ren’s clothing. 

 

Hux rolled his eyes. “No one remembers Darth Vader as anyone other than the man who commissioned the death star, and destroyed Alderaan - what do you think I used as basis for my design?” 

 

Ren kissed him again, and Hux let him, but didn’t kiss back. “Cian, please.”

 

His expression only softened around his eyes, but his mouth still arranged itself into a sneer. “It’s time I stop pretending, isn’t it? I am the man that destroyed Hosnian. Pretending that I could turn my life around, be a good man? That’s the joke, Ren. I fooled the whole Resistance, I fooled General Leia, and Luke kriffing Skywalker, and,” his smile went blade sharp and vicious, “I even fooled you.”

 

Ren’s rage flashed hot and burning through him and he lashed out, hitting Hux in his good shoulder. “Enough!”

 

Hux subsided, letting Ren’s jacket go, and taking a step back. “This is our new reality, Ren. We can’t get married. We can’t have our life together.  I will die, if not today, then soon. It’s better you accept that now.”

 

“Have you?” Ren snarled and Hux looked away. “You’re full of bantha fodder, you kriffing laserbrained --” he cut himself off. “You were going to win. You were beautiful out there. Don’t give up now, not when we can still win.”

 

When he tilted his head down, Hux’s hair fell into his eyes and his right side twitched as though he’d gone to reach with his right arm. “I have given a lot for your Resistance, Ren,” he said. “I gave up my autonomy. I gave up you, for a while. I lost my arm, I’ve lost my freedom. And all to prove what? That I’m sorry and I won’t do it again?”

 

“Well it’s not like you are,” Ren snapped. “No, shut up, enough. I don’t want to hear it. You’re going to live, we’re going to get married and we’re going to be okay!” 

 

Hux reached out and cupped Ren’s face gently. “I wish I had your certainty.”

 

Ren caught his hand, feeling the first trickles of relief race down his spine. “You don’t have to have my certainty. You just have to have me.”

 

Snorting, Hux smiled and Ren could feel the unwilling amusement he felt through their bond. “I suppose it’s useless to lie to you,” Hux muttered, and stepped back into the circle of Ren’s arms. “I’m still certain I’m going to lose. But if you you’re to be with me, at least I won’t face it alone.”

 

Ren sighed, pressing his lips to the crown of Hux’s head. “I have a plan,” he said quietly.

 

“Is it an idyllic one that is unlikely to see fruition?” Hux asked dryly. 

 

Shoving him, Ren scowled. “No,” he grumbled. “Once the verdict goes through, we can try to overturn it, but if it doesn’t… I have a plan.”

 

Hux’s eyes go dark and serious. “Tell me.”

 

* 

 

When Dara opened the door again, she found that Ren had pulled two chairs together and Hux was resting gently against him. She snorted, closing the door quietly, and leaning her back against it. “He’s finally asleep then?” she asked Ren and he nodded. 

 

“I helped him along, but yes,” he said. 

 

Dara sighed. “Good. He’s not slept for this entire trial, that’s become more than obvious to me. It’s not an ideal situation for him, considering how he’s on the line.” Her eyes flicked over them and Ren appreciated how she made an effort to lower her voice. “I just finished talking to Antis and Skywalker. We won’t be going back to that room for a while. I wanted to check in while I had time. Get some food in him if possible.”

 

Ren nodded. “What are our odds, Miss Dara?”

 

“Higher, now that he admitted that his father has as many crimes as he does,” Dara said evenly. “This isn’t a normal trial. All we need is to show that council that he’s no longer a danger to us, except Brendol Hux handpicked the members on the council and expected it to be a resounding loss.” 

 

Ren’s mouth twisted. “Well thank you for trying, at least,” he said.

 

Dara shrugged. “If I win this one - if he does - then I’m set for the rest of my life, Mr. Solo.”

 

He snorts quietly, running a hand down Hux’s side. “Do you like him?” 

 

“No,” Dara said amused. “But I don’t like anyone, so don’t take it personally.” Ren laughed, and shook his head. “I’ll get you two something to eat, and I’ll check in again soon.”

 

“Thanks, Miss Dara,” he said. 

 

As soon as she left again, Ren went back to meditating quietly, running smoothly over his bond with Hux to keep him asleep.

 

**You can try to shut me out, but it won’t work. I live inside you, I live in everything.**

 

He jerked, surprised. Angrily, Ren closed his eyes, searching his surroundings once again, for the mysterious voice that echoed through the Force.  _ Go away _ , he growled, closing the corners of his head.  _ You have no place here. _

 

With a mocking laugh the voice faded, and Ren resolved for tenth time to talk to Luke about it. The first time he’d heard it had been on D’Qar, before Hux had returned to him. It surfaced only periodically, and each time he tried to tell Luke about the voice, his mouth ran without permission and nothing he could do would allow him to speak of it.

 

When he’d been a child and the voice of Snoke had skated through his dreams, nightmares and eventually his waking thoughts, he’d thought the Dark side had been speaking to him; that the ghosts of his Skywalker past had coalesced into the dark evil power that their line was so afraid of.

 

No answering Light had ever spoken to him. 

 

And now, twenty years after his long, slow fall, the voice had returned. Except this time, Snoke was dead.

 

“You’re thinking very hard,” Hux murmured, turning his face into Ren’s chest. 

 

“Sh,” Ren told him fondly. “Go back to sleep.”   
  


Hux shook his head but didn’t bother to try and sit up. “My shoulder aches,” he said finally, and Ren winced. He hadn’t thought to bring any pain medication. “I wouldn’t take it anyway. I need to be fully cognizant for this trial. The medication makes me slow and sloppy, I can no longer afford to be so lax.”

 

Ren winced again and pressed a kiss to Hux’s temple. “Who’s the mind reader here, me or you?” he asked, only half a jest.

 

“Me, when you’re projecting your thoughts across the bond so loud they make my head hurt,” Hux said dryly. “I suppose I should apologize.”

 

“Nah,” Ren said after a second. “I understand what you were trying to do,” he added. “Just so you know though, my place is with you. I made my choice.” 

 

Hux sighed, placing a kiss against Ren’s bicep. “You’re a fool. But I suppose that does make you my fool.” They reclined in silence again, Ren glorying in the feel of Hux’s mind against his again. He’d spent far too much time in the last few months thinking the people he loved were dead. He was tired of the fight. 

 

“I met with the Cyberneticist,” Hux said after another pause. “She’s confident my neural make up will be perfect for the advanced prototype she’s created. No one else has it yet, apparently.” 

 

Ren laughed softly. “Anything would be better than what Uncle Luke has,” he pointed out.

 

Hux tilted his head up to grin at Ren. “According to your mother, Luke used to have a fully flesh prosthetic, at least before he disappeared. She said no one could tell.”

 

“I wonder what happened to it,” Ren murmured. “So what was she like?”

 

“The Cyberneticist? She was… kind,” Hux said, after a short pause as he thought of a word. “She didn’t treat me like a mass murderer, but she also didn’t treat me like a broken soldier. She was also very clear about what my coming limitations are - I won’t be able to use my sniper rifle until my arm and mind calibrate together without issues.”

 

“Kriff,” Ren murmured. “I’m sorry.”

 

Hux pinches his hip hard in retaliation. “You did not burn my arm off with acid, so don’t even start.” Ren opened his mouth to say something but Hux twisted up and kissed him. “I’ll relearn the sniper rifle. And how to write. It’s  _ fine _ , or it will be.”   
  


It wasn’t not fine, not really. Hux was missing half of himself, Ren had a voice he couldn’t account for in his head and they’re laying on two chairs in a briefing room at the trial that could ruin both their futures. 

 

_ I think the Dark side is talking to me again _ , Ren whispered in secret confession across their bond. 

 

Hux winced, holding his temple with his good hand. “Ren? What was that, all I got was high pitched feedback. That’s never happened before, are you alright?” he twisted in the seat and leaned over Ren, searching his face for signs of upset. 

 

“I’m fine, sorry,” Ren said. “I stopped paying attention for a second.” 

 

He subsided with narrowed eyes and Ren tilted his head up, angling for another kiss. Rolling his eyes, Hux gave it to him, sitting up and rolling his armless shoulder carefully. “I just want you to know,” Hux said, staring at the door to the exit, “that no matter what I’ve said over the last few weeks, no matter what led us to this point; I am a better man because of you. Thank you, Ren. For everything.”

 

*

 

Ren wasn’t allowed to stand by Hux as the council returned to the room. Brendol Hux was still there, but several Republic soldiers were with him, and Dara had told them over dinner that he’d attempted to talk his way out of it but General Leia still ordered his arrest. Hux didn’t exactly breathe easier but he actually ate more than a few bites after that bit of information.

 

The room was silent, and Luke stood as soon as the last Council member had taken their seat. “I realize it’s been a very long day,” he said, looking over everyone. “We’re all tired, both of this day and of this war. The jedi were once the keepers of the balance, though we are largely remembered for our peace keeping. Today, I am here for the balance, and no matter the outcome of this trial, I intend to do that. Dua Nieuv, what is your vote?”

 

The Sullustan stood up, and he looked straight at Hux as he spoke. “I lost my squadron the day Hosnain died. An x-wing is trained from inception to realize and accept the loss of their comrades. To enter a dogfight is to possibly never return. Without Commander Hux’s maneuvers and combat upgrades, there would be more x-wing loss of life. I vote against the death penalty.”

 

Luke nodded, and Dua Nieuv sat back down. “Mirtha,” Luke said gently and the Quarren stood up, her face set in a sneer. 

 

“I lost everything,” she said shortly. “I vote for the death penalty.”

 

Luke’s mind felt rueful at that, and nerves started to curl in Ren’s gut. His eyes stayed on Hux who had started to clutch the underside of the table for support. “Ileon Axel,” Luke said, and the human man stood slowly, staring out over the audience without seeing anything.

 

“My wife was on holocall with me when the world exploded,” he said hollowly. “We’d been married less than a year. She was pregnant.” He took a deep breath. “I vote for the death penalty.”

 

The muscles in Hux’s shoulders twitched, and Ren closed his eyes tightly.  _ Please _ , he sent out into the Force.  _ Please, no. _

 

Luke cleared his throat as whispers started up in the room again. “Tendo, your verdict?” he asked.

 

The Ithorian stood, eyes swiveling from Hux to Luke and back. “The answer to death is never more death,” he rumbled in his deep language. “I vote against the death penalty.”

 

Two to two. 

 

“Brendol Hux,” Luke said, and he was unable to keep the distaste from his voice. “While I’m certain we can all guess your vote, cast it now.”

 

Hux Sr, stood, shaking off the Republic soldiers hands when the attempted to stop him from doing so. “I vote for the death penalty,” he said evenly and Hux flinched so violently that Dara leaned over and began whispering in his ear. 

 

Luke didn’t bother to deign that with a response, and he turned to the last Council member. “Anton,” he said warmly. “Yours is the last to cast. What is your vote?”

 

Anton Standish stood up and Ren finally recognized him, standing in the well lit room. He’d grown up around him, he’d fought with his parents in the Battle for Yavin 4. Anton smiled at Luke and turned his gaze out without ever actually looking at Hux. “I thought long and hard about this,” he said. “From the beginning I knew that it could come down to this, where a tie would be the ruling. I didn’t expect to be the one who could make or break it. I survived Hosnian by pure luck and chance.” He took a deep breath, and heaved a visible sigh. “I vote for the death penalty.”

 

Ren’s heart stopped. Four to two. 

 

Hux had lost.

 

Even Luke seemed taken aback by this and he turned to face Standish. “Then this council has decided,” Luke said, subdued. 

 

Standish inclined his head. “I’m sorry, old friend,” he said. “But the First Order can’t afford any more loose ends.”

 

Intent flashed through the Force but when Ren leapt to his feet, hand out stretched to stop him, Suppression slammed down on the room like sticky tar. Ren was powerless.

 

Luke reached behind him and pulled out his lightsaber, but it was too late. Standish had already picked up a plasma pistol and shot. “Cian!” Ren screamed but Hux turned, unharmed.

 

Instead, Luke tumbled slowly from his position at the head of the council, and the Force screamed a lament as his lifeforce blinked out. 

 

*tbc


	21. xxi.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Startling, Ren jolted out of his thoughts, and fell into step with HK, moving into the cockpit. “What do you think, HK?” he asked absently._
> 
>  
> 
> _The droid shrugged, shoulders clanking loudly. “I think we’ve had a serious lack of meatbags to shoot, Master,” he said drolly._
> 
> _Ren snorted, sliding into the pilots seat. “If you had your way, you’d just shoot everyone.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is for Lex, Sera (happy birthday darling), Dani, Sasha and Song (thank you, thank you for the extra help!)
> 
> This chapter fought me like a mad thing. I wrote it twice in full, deleted it both times, and finally managed to piece something together that I didn't hate late last night. I wrote until 4am, and I'm finally happy with this version. This one contains lots of Force shenanigans, and I'm 80% certain that the Force does NOT in fact work in this way, but idgaf. 
> 
> There is Mando'ade in this chapter! Huzzah! (I haven't forgotten my roots, I promise)
> 
> Su cuy'gar - Hello (literally "You're still alive!")  
> Aay'han - a moment of perfect, bittersweet mourning. (In this case, Kiel is essentially saying "I'm sorry for your loss")  
> Gedet'ye - Please (Not usually used in this context, but Ren is asking for Kiel's sorrow on his behalf)  
> Mirc'it - Prisoner  
> Besu'liik - Basilisk War Droid (In the Old Republic the Mando'ade would ride these FROM ORBIT and pretty much let them reign destruction)  
> Lek lek - Yeah  
> chaavla sa shebs be’striili - rough as a strill's backside (essentially saying they have some quirks, violent & dangerous ones)  
> Jate'kara - Good luck
> 
> As usual I can be found [at Tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/), for all your needs. 
> 
> We've rounded the home stretch folks. Hold on to your butts.

Xxi.

 

Luke’s pyre blazed brightly, lighting up Takodana’s night. Ren stood silently by his mother and father, one hand on Leia’s elbow. She didn’t cry, none of them did, even though Ren could feel Luke’s absence like a hole inside him. He didn’t have a bond with Luke, not like the one he had with Hux, but the Force felt broken around him all the same.

 

“Have you seen him?” Han asked gruffly, voice nearly lost in the sound of flames.

 

Ren shook his head. “Not yet.”

 

“Luke always told us he could see them. When Vader died, he said it was a nearly instant transition.” Han looked around. “Luke would be the one to drag his heels.”  


Leia hid a smile, ducking her head. “Becoming a ghost isn’t an exact science, laserbrain,” she said quietly.

 

As the fire died down, slowly, and Ren turned away. He bowed his head, stepping away from the pyre. “Are you going back to D’Qar?” his father asked, stopping him with a gentle hand on his shoulder.

 

Ren nodded. “Yes,” he answered quietly. “Hux is still there. And I still have work to do.” He quirked a smile. “I hate to sound like Luke, but… there’s been a disturbance in the Force.”

 

Leia laughed, but it caught on a sob. “We’ll meet you there,” she said. “I still have some things to say to my brother.” Han tipped his head in agreement and Ren one thousand percent didn’t want to be around for that conversation.

 

He left the area, going back to the clearing that once held the Jedi Academy, and found his ship where he left it. Rey and Finn were waiting for him - he hadn’t even noticed when they left the pyre - and Rey stepped forward to hug him. “You two do realize that you’re the only two remaining Jedi,” Ren said quietly.

 

Finn nodded. “I know. But we don’t… how can we do anything? We’ve barely been padawans for a year.”

 

Ren chewed on his lip. “I can teach you. I’m not a jedi, but I know most of the things you need to know. And when everything else is over, I’ll take you to the old Temple on Coruscant, so you can explore the datacrons left behind there.”

 

“You hate it when we call you Master,” Finn said, a slight smile curling up his mouth.

 

“And so I do,” Ren sighed. “But, you two are relatively new. It would be unfair to expect you to take up the mantle of Jedi without having all the teachings.”

 

Finn’s smile widened. “Well, lead on, Master.”

 

As Ren rolled his eyes and didn’t respond to the bait, that was when he felt it. _Well done, Ren_ , Luke’s voice said, on the wind and air. It resonated through the Force and Ren turned to see. There was no sign of him but he knew what he’d heard.

 

Rey started scuffling with Finn as soon as they’d entered the ship, and Ren watched fondly.

 

He wasn’t certain exactly what they’d be returning to on D’Qar. After Luke had been shot on Coruscant, the Republic had leapt on Standish and Hux Sr, arresting them both immediately for betrayal and being traitors to the New Republic.

 

After they’d gotten everything back under control - in no small part because Hux hacked the doors to let out the civilians and audience - they’d had to postpone the rest of everything to deal with insanity. Hux Sr, and Standish were immediately incarcerated, brought to D’Qar where the bulk of the New Republic soldiers could keep a sharper eye on them.

 

Hux had gone with them easily, and Ren hadn’t had too much time to speak to him before heading to Takodana with his parents and Luke. He’d wanted to bring Hux with him - he knew that Hux had grown close to Luke after all - but they’d all agreed it was better if Hux stayed with the New Republic until a decision could be made.

 

So, having left Hux in the care of Poe, Sasha and Jessika, Ren had left.

 

All they needed now was for what was left of the Galactic Senate to elect a High Chancellor, after the serious failure of the Galactic Council.

 

“Master,” HK said from behind him. “We will be late if you don’t get a move on.”

 

Startling, Ren jolted out of his thoughts, and fell into step with HK, moving into the cockpit. “What do you think, HK?” he asked absently.

 

The droid shrugged, shoulders clanking loudly. “I think we’ve had a serious lack of meatbags to shoot, Master,” he said drolly.

 

Ren snorted, sliding into the pilots seat. “If you had your way, you’d just shoot everyone.”

 

HK turned to look at him, red eyelights narrowed in the shallow darkness of the cockpit. “If you had allowed me to attend the trial for Master Hux, I would have killed everyone in the room,” he said evenly. “I think that would be a better outcome, Master.”

 

“For you, maybe,” Ren said dryly. “But then I’d be left trying to explain why I let a homicidal droid loose in Coruscant and why I never bothered to give him a memory wipe.”

 

HK blinked once, his version of rolling his eyes. “You could tell them the truth - if you tried, I would have killed you.”

 

Ren laughed, a loud bark of sound that took him by surprise. He hadn’t laughed in too long. “That would have definitely made it worse.”

 

“If it makes you feel more secure, I am not homicidal, Master,” HK said primly. “The word homicidal implies I only want to kill meatbag humans. It is not just humans.”

 

“ _That doesn’t make it better_.”

 

HK’s eyes gleamed with amusement and he turned his head back to the starport. “You never let me have any fun, Master,” he said, long suffering. “Perhaps Master Hux would be more amenable.”

 

“Doubt it,” Ren said.

 

“You are determined to stifle my creativity, Master,” HK said, grumpy and annoyed.

 

Ren shot him a look. “You want to tell everyone where I found you then?” he asked dryly. HK made a noncommittal noise and Ren snorted. “That’s what I thought,” he said.

 

“My origin has nothing to do with it,” HK said primly. “I simply am required by code to kill all the meatbags I see. I cannot help it if everyone is a meatbag.”

 

Rey chuckled from somewhere behind them, draping herself over the back of HK’s chair. “Please don’t shoot me,” she said.

 

He made an annoyed noise, static and sound, and pushed Rey off his seat. “You are not a meatbag,” he said. “For now.”  


Exchanging a glance with Ren, Rey grinned. “That’s a pretty high compliment coming from you, HK. Thank you.”

 

HK made another annoyed sound and turned his attention back to the controls. “That’s enough out of the both of you,” he snipped.

 

Rey turned and leaned against Ren’s chair. “What’s next for us, Master?” she asked lightly. There was a fine thread of mourning laced in her tone, and Ren closed his eyes for a second before answering.

 

“We’ll go back to D’Qar, start up training,” he said slowly. “Wait on the Galactic Senate to, again, go through this kriffing bantha poodoo, so Cian can get back on this ship where he belongs.”

 

Rey’s smile faded entirely, and she sighed. “I hope so.” Ren glanced over at her, but she seemed disinclined to continue that train of thought. He didn’t blame her, really. What sort of person was he, were they, to wish freedom on a man who helped destroy a world?

 

[ _Friend-Ben, you have a message in the main terminal!]_ sing-songed SR-3 as she dropped from a vent into his hair.

 

He scooped her off his head and dropped her on his shoulder. “Thank you, little darling,” he said. “Who is it?”

 

 _[It’s Friend-Kiel,]_ she answered, hooking onto his collar.

 

Ren rose from his chair, ceding it to Rey. “Take us up, and set a course for home,” he told her. He wandered out in the main area to find Kiel already pulled up on the holocommand and chatting with Finn. “Master Ren,” Finn greeted, with a cheeky smile.

 

Ignoring the raised eyebrows he got from Kiel, Ren waved Finn off. “At some point you two will realize I’m far more of an exacting master than Luke was,” he warned. “May as well let you have your fun now.”

 

Finn grinned at him. “I was a stormtrooper,” he said cheerfully. “Bring it.”

 

The heavy weight of grief lessened a little under Finn’s endless enthusiasm and Ren smiled, clapping him on the shoulder. “Go find something to do,” he advised. “We’ll be back on D’Qar in a few hours.” Once Finn had left the room, heading into the kitchen, Ren looked up tiredly at his old friend. “Su cuy’gar,” he murmured.

 

“Su cuy’gar,” Kiel said back solemnly. “Aay’han.”

 

Ren nodded. “Aay’han. Gedet’ye.”

 

Kiel scrubbed a hand through his hair. “We heard that Cian is still a mirc’it.”

 

“For now, yes,” Ren answered. “Because the Galactic Council failed to recognize not one, but two traitors to the New Republic, they’ve put him back on D’Qar under watch until a High Chancellor can be elected from their remains. He or she will have the final say, after reviewing the holorecording of his trial.”

 

“He would have made a good Mando’ade,” Kiel said.

 

Amused, Ren nodded, agreeing. “You could adopt him,” he pointed out.

 

“I tried,” Kiel responded. “He didn’t understand.” He shook his head. “That’s not why I’m calling. We’ve been patrolling more, Mand’alor is on edge, and we’ve been preparing for war. He said that there have been an influx of Order ships too close to his flagship, though none of them have fired on us, or hailed us in anyway. I sent a few warbirds out to follow them, but they never returned.”

 

“That’s… not good,” Ren murmured.

 

Kiel nodded. “So I’ve sent the majority of the fleet to Manda’lor, but in exchange he’s given me two besu’liik. We believe that they will have a better chance at returning.”

 

Impressed despite himself, Ren blinked. “A basilisk war bird?” he repeated. “You haven’t used those since the Old Republic.”

 

“Lek lek, since Canderous Ordo, my ancestor took back the scattered Mando’ade and made us great again. But my father has been repairing them, and now I have two.” Kiel made an amused face. “They’re all chaavla sa shebs be’striili, but they’re useful.”

 

“That’s pretty low praise coming from you, considering who your Seconds are,” Ren said wryly. “But HK is pretty chaavla sa shebs be’striili too.”

 

There was an outraged scoff from the cockpit in answer to that and Ren grinned. “We’ll keep you updated,” Kiel said, grinning back. “Jate’kara,” he added seriously. “I’m afraid you’ll need it.”

 

“There’s no such thing as luck,” Ren murmured after Kiel had signed off.

 

Leaving the piloting to HK and Rey, Ren made his way through the living quarters towards his meditation room. Pushing Tempest’s bed into the corner, he knelt down, trying to clear his mind. It was harder now than it ever had been before.

 

Thoughts of Luke, the way the Force felt when it amplified his absence, seeing him fall, those swirled through his mind at lightspeed.

 

 _Oh my nephew,_ Luke murmured to him. _I will always be with you. I’ll always be with all of you._

 

Ren opened his eyes and saw him, sitting in his customary meditation pose, not quite transparent, directly in front of him. “Did you know?” Ren asked.

 

 _That the trial would mean my death? Yes. I saw it. Stopping it would have endangered many lives, and I learned that lesson long ago._ Luke smiled at him, and he looked young, his face clean shaven, with two whole hands and blond hair. _I am content with my life. I didn’t need anymore than that._

 

“You should talk to mom,” Ren muttered, wiping at suddenly blurry eyes. “Dad too.”

 

But Luke shook his head. _Some day, perhaps. Not today._ He straightened up, prompting Ren to mirror his pose. _I’ll lead you into meditation,_ he offered. _One last time._

 

Ren nodded. “Of course, Master.”

 

Luke smiled, the expression heartbreaking and fond. _I am one with the Force,_ he said quietly, his voice filling the room. _The Force is with me_.

 

“I am one with the Force, the Force is with me,” Ren repeated, and fell headlong into meditation, with Luke guiding him by the hand.

 

*

 

Ren ran.

 

The landscape around him was blood red and full of dust, and pulling in great lungfuls of air made him choke and cough even as he stumbled over a large rock outcropping. The Force pulled him along, like a hook in his chest, and he followed it blindly.

 

He could feel himself calling out, his throat vibrating with the force of his shouts, his mouth moving - but all he could hear was the pounding of drums. He struggled over a rise, feet slipping in the dust, and saw it: the Untouchable, wrecked, burning.

 

Ren stood, shock and horror freezing his limbs to the earth before he saw the movement by the ship. Someone was down there.

 

Half skidding, half sliding, the Force pulled Ren along, sending him headlong down a small cliff. He landed heavily, oddly, his ribs and foot protesting. The drum beat only got louder as he got closer to the wreckage.

 

He stumbled to a stop, the Force finally unhooking from his chest. The area around the Untouchable was hot, fires burning ramshod over the ship and the surrounding red wasteland. Rey lay a few feet from where he’d collapsed to a stop and he crawled over to her, the drum beat pounding in his ears.

 

She was still, and Ren could barely feel her skin let alone her pulse.

 

Beside her: Finn, similarly lifeless. All around him, his friends and crewmates, Tempest, Blue, Poe, Sasha, Kiel, Ganna. Dead, dead, dead, _dead, dead._ **Dead.**

 

HK was in pieces, scattered around, full of blaster bolt holes and broken machinery. LT-55 was a hollow shell, a fire bursting out of him. SR-3 lay beside Rey, half under her, a perfect hole through the middle of her tiny body.

 

Everyone and everything that Ren had ever loved, dead, gone, and burning.

 

A hand grabbed his shoulder and Ren came up swinging, reaching for a lightsaber that wasn’t there.

 

Hux stared at him, face white and pale and pinched, eyes a dark and horrified green. So dark that Ren could barely see his pupils.

 

Ren grabbed him, limbs moving slow like through Suppression, trying to check Hux over for injuries. He knew he was trying to speak, but the pounding drowned out his voice. His hands touch Hux’s shoulders.

 

And Hux shoved him away.

 

Something hooked him again, the Force or something worse and Ren stumbled back, hitting the Untouchable, swallowed by flames but without being burned.

 

Hux smiled, but it wasn’t Cian’s smile, it was like looking at a stranger. There was no love or affection or even sardonic amusement in the expression; it looked more like insanity given a face. Hux’s eyes, so dark - too dark - bled black, filling from lid to lid. **I told you** **_,_ ** the Dark Side said, echoing through a sudden ringing silence. **You can never escape me.**

 

Ren’s voice was still silenced, his throat working around, trying to scream. He reached out for something - anything - anyone - but found nothing. There was no Light here. **Only me.**

 

He pushed back against the Force, fighting his way through flames and his own sudden weakness. A fierce pressure choked him, and Hux stood there, fist clenched and the Force obeyed.

 

Ren went to his knees, vision darkening, tunneling, narrowing, until all he could see was Hux’s black, black eyes.

 

Please, he mouthed.

 

 **Where is your Light now?** The Dark Side wondered idly as it strangled the life out of him, slowly, by degrees. **Why has there never been any answer?** Hux knelt by Ren’s struggling form, reaching out with faux tenderness and cupping his face. **There was only one symbol of the Light, little darling** , it said, a mockery of his name for SR-3, **and I killed it.**

 

Hux smiled, lips twisting up into another mockery of his normal expression. **You still haven’t figured it out,** **_boy_ ** **. You were mine, you have always been mine. Come home to me, Kylo Ren.**

 

He swung his arm out, encompassing the wasteland around them. **This is where you belong now.**

 

The pressure eased up on his neck and Ren took a haggard, painful breath. _Never_ , he snarled, even though there was no sound.

 

But the Dark Side only widened his smile. **You won’t have any choice, boy.** His hands shoved outward and Ren flew, skidding and stumbling through dirt and rock, slamming his back against a carved stone pillar. He was held there, pinned like an insect.

 

 **You will never defeat me,** the Dark Side said idly, ambling over to where he was stuck. All his movements were wrong, the fall of his hair, the slope of his shoulder. Whatever trickery this was; Ren only knew one thing: this man was not Hux.

 

Ren narrowed his eyes, trying to summon even a modicum of his power. He stretched out his awareness and reached for the Force.

 

With a sound like a scream; the Force answered back.

 

Ren woke up.

 

*

 

“Whoa,” Rey said, leaping backwards as they nearly collided foreheads. “I didn’t mean to startle you, I’m sorry!”

 

Ren had to curb an immediate urge to drag her into a hug - they weren’t quite that close - and he fought to catch his breath. “No,” he managed to say after a second of testing the waters of his power. “That was me, you’re fine.” His voice was cracking and broken in places but at least he had it.

 

She frowned, reaching out and touching his forehead, her hand coming away clammy and cold. “What happened?” she asked.

 

He licked his lips, trying to moisten them even though his mouth was too dry. “I had a vision,” he said slowly, trying to chose his words carefully. Rey nodded, her expression serious. “We crashed. Somewhere. Everyone was dead - you, Finn, SR, HK. Everyone but me and Cian. But… Cian wasn’t Cian.”

 

“If he wasn’t himself, then who was he?” Rey asked instantly, her face going paler by the word.

 

“The Dar…” His voice died halfway through the word as he thought about it. He’d always attributed the voice he’d heard as a child to the Dark Side trying to seduce him over. As he’d grown older, and accepted that the Dark Side was simply a thing that existed, he’d learned a greater control over his Force powers and the Force in general.

 

Why should he fear a thing that he’d already mastered?  


The answer came to him like a fatal blow to the ribs. He sucked in a pained breath, staring at Rey’s widened eyes. “It’s Snoke,” he said. “Snoke’s Force Ghost is the reason why everyone in the First Order is going insane. He’s _possessing them.”_ He leapt to his feet, stumbling a half step when his legs protested the sudden movement.

 

“Where are you going?” Rey asked, scrambling after him.

 

“I need to get a message to D’Qar right now,” Ren said over his shoulder, as he raced for the holocommand center, hitting a wall with his shoulder in his haste. “They need to know!”

 

He has spotty memories of his time as Kylo Ren - remembers mostly rebelling and saving Phasma - but under all the pain those thoughts bring him, he does recall one thing with clarity.

 

Snoke had ever wanted to kill Luke Skywalker.

 

He’d finally gotten his wish.

 

Ren slammed through contacts, calling up his mother and Admiral Ackbar, and connecting to them simultaneously. As soon as they shimmered into form above the console, Ren began talking. “I don’t have a lot of time to explain,” he said quickly. “I need you both to listen and interrupt. I had a Force vision; Snoke is still at large. He’s a Force Ghost, but a sith one, and he’s been possessing people. Get Anton Standish into a room with one of those liberated Ysalamir and he’ll return to normal. Make everyone on that base go through a room with it.”

 

“Where is he?” Leia asked, and Ren had to give her credit. She put the pieces together faster than he did.

 

Thinking back over his vision, Ren said slowly, “He’s on Korriban.”

 

Leia turned to Ackbar. “Sound the alarm. We go to war.”

 

Ackbar nodded once, and disappeared. “Mom,” Ren said, and his voice cracked. “Mom, he killed Luke.”

 

Her eyes shimmered and she reached out a hand even though they couldn’t touch. “I know. I’m right behind you. We’ll see you soon.”

 

As soon as her projection disappeared, Ren collapsed, his knees giving way. He felt a hand on his shoulder and half turned, expecting to see Finn or HK behind him. Instead, Luke stood there, and flanking Luke were a half dozen other figures, all familiar. Anakin stood at Luke’s left, yellow eyes glowing a proud gold. At his left, Padme stood, his mother’s eyes looking out from her face. On Luke’s right, Obi-wan smiled at him, his name sake and the reason he’d left Dagobah to strike out on his own. Behind Obi-wan stood another man, Qui-gon Jin, who was fading around the edges.

 

Bolstered by the ghosts of his past, and present, Ren stood back up.

  
*


	22. xxii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Snoke stood on the ledge of the empty tomb, his body just very slightly transparent. His eyes, too wide and big for his head glowed a vicious electric blue in the darkness around them. “I’m so pleased you could join me,” he said, with a dangerous smile. “My Kylo Ren, returned to me at last.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“I’m not your anything,” Ren snarled._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Lex, Song, Sasha, Dani and Sera. I love you all.
> 
> This is the last chapter before the Epilogue. I can't believe how time has flown. Brace yourself, loves. This one is rough one. 
> 
> I did promise angst with a happy ending, though. 
> 
> As ever I'm at [tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/) for all your needs. 
> 
> This chapter was also written listening to Two Steps from Hell's album Skyworld. I highly recommend it, especially the song "Dark Ages".

xxii.

  


He saw Hux first, standing by the x-wing leaders.

 

He was holding out his right arm for inspection, as Sasha poured over it, bent low over his bicep. Rey looked over at him and grinned. "Race you!" she cried, and before Ren could process that, she put on a burst of speed, blurring and pulling ahead by a hundred meters in an instant.

 

"Cheater!" Ren shouted after her, but his voice must get Hux's attention because he pulled away from Sasha, to turn and face Rey head on.

 

She slammed into his chest, arms wrapped around him, and Ren slowed his jog in order to give her some time to speak to him.

 

Truthfully, he was surprised that Hux was out of his cell, as that was where he'd been placed once they returned from Coruscant, before heading to Dagobah. "Captain Ren," Poe called out and jogged up to join him. "It's good to see you're back. Things have been... Ah... A little crazy here." Ren raised an eyebrow at him. "Four high tier generals or other officials have been shown to be - and I can't believe I'm saying this here - Force possessed."

 

More than he'd guessed, less than he'd hoped. "And?" he asked.

 

"Three of them killed themselves once out of the influence of the Ysalamir. Standish is the only one still alive. And I think it's from sheer bloody minded determination." Poe rubbed a hand over his forehead. "I'm not really sure, honestly. Things haven't been great here, Ren. First with that kriffing trial, and now with Snoke being back?"

 

Ren paused, turning to face Poe and stopping him with a hand on his shoulder. "This is the final stand, Poe. When the New Republic Fleet, Sylar's Renegades, and Kiel's Mando'ade, we can fight the First Order once and for all."

 

Poe smiled, a sad little thing. "I wish I had your faith, Ren."

 

"It's not faith," Ren said firmly. "It's the Force."

 

Rolling his eyes, Poe shoved Ren's shoulder, sending him forward a step. "It's always the kriffing Force with you jedi."

 

"I am not a jedi," Ren repeated for what must have been the trillionth time.

 

They drew even with Hux and Rey, and Ren paused, taking in Hux's whole appearance. Literally, whole. His right arm is as seamless as his left, and he held it out for inspection. "What do you think?" he asked lightly, eyes bottle green and nervous.

 

“I think,” Ren said slowly, stepping into Hux’s space, “that I’m going to kiss you now.”

 

Hux snorted, giving him a short kiss. “That was a serious question, Ren,” he said.

 

“You look amazing,” Ren said instantly. “How does it feel?”

 

Rotating his right wrist, Hux made a considering face. “A bit odd. It’s like my mind knows that the arm is cybernetic but because my eyes can’t tell, there’s a bit of a disconnect. I couldn’t move it at all yesterday. Today is better.”

 

Ren took his hand, linking their fingers together. It felt warm, alive, and Hux squeezed his hand gently. “My next question is why are you free?”

 

“That’s something of a long story,” Hux admitted. “The shortest part is mostly that I’ve been released on the condition that I fight in the battle for Korriban, and return here for more orders.”

 

Shocked, Ren stared at him. “How…?”

 

“I believe I can answer that question, Mr. Solo,” an unfamiliar voice said from behind Hux. The small crowd that had gathered around them parted to reveal a tall woman with dark hair and bronze skin. She was imposing, her face set into a no nonsense expression, and Ren watched Hux step away in deference to her presence. “General Hux-- Commander. I apologize. Now that your ship and crew has returned, I trust you will be able to do your duties flawlessly.”

 

Hux nodded once. “Of course, High Chancellor.”

 

“High Chancel-- I suppose that means the Senate has reformed,” Ren said slowly, still trying to process the changes.

 

“It has indded, Mr. Solo,” the Chancellor said. “I am High Chancellor Jian-Shu Kene, of Gatalenta. After the betrayal of the Centrists, we have been very careful to keep our setup silent. I trust this silence extends to you.”

 

Ren nodded, glancing over at Hux. _This woman is terrifying._

 

Hux flashed a grin, hidden behind Kene’s back. _Trust me, I am_ well _aware._

 

Kene glanced at all of them. “Mr. Solo, as soon as Senator Organa returns from Dagobah, we will begin a War Council. Commander Hux, remember what I told you.”

 

He inclined his head. “Of course, Chancellor Kene. Thank you for this opportunity.”

 

Once she’d left, Ren turned back to Hux, stepping in close. “You’ve gotten better at faking humility,” he murmured in Hux’s ear, just to hear him laugh.

 

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Ren,” Hux said, a gleam of amusement in his eyes. “Now come on, we’ve got a war to plan.”

 

*

 

“Can everyone check in?” Hux asked, touching the comm unit in his ear.

 

“Black Leader checking in,” Poe said immediately, his x-wing flying out in front of the Untouchable. “On your twelve, Hux.”

 

“Red Leader on your six,” Sasha chimed in.

 

“Blue Leader on your three,” Jessika added, pulling ahead just enough to be seen in the viewport.

 

“Gold Leader on your nine,” Dua Nieuv said, his voice flat.

 

There was a smattering over other check ins as Kiel and Sylar both called out their fleets positions, and the other Generals echoed the calls.

 

Hux closed his eyes, leaning against the console hard. “Thank you,” he said. “I know that most of you didn’t want me here - still don’t, if we’re going to be totally honest - and you’re right. I shouldn’t be here, I hardly deserve this chance to prove anything, let alone how many chances I _have_ gotten. But we are here, now. We are fighting, now. This is not the time for grudges or hatred. I am on the side of the New Republic, your side. And, Generals, Leaders, officers all; I am going to make sure we win. We will take back the minds that Snoke has stolen, we will destroy the First Order the way I once destroyed you. We can do this - _you_ can do this. Hux, out.”

 

He sighed, tapping his communicator and leaning back, bumping into Ren’s chest. “It’ll be enough,” he said to Hux gently, kissing his temple.

 

“It will have to be,”  Hux said. He sighed, turning from the viewport to look at Ren. “We disrupted them at Lothal so their fleet is small, I’m hoping that means that we’ll have less to fight through to get to the planet.”

 

Ren grinned. “I have a plan for that. Come with me.”

 

He led Hux into the cargo hold, revealing the the large tarp covered thing he and Kiel had moved into the hold that morning. “I saw this but Kiel told me not to worry about it,” Hux said, eyeing the object. “Which means it’s going to worry me intensely, isn’t it?”

 

Ren’s grin widened. “This, my dear, is a basilisk war droid.”

 

Hux looked at the droid, then back at him. “Is that supposed to mean something?”

 

“Ugh,” Ren grumbled. “This is a droid that we can ride. There’s a compartment inside, and it’ll fit you, me, Rey and Finn if we squeeze. It drops from orbit, falls through the atmosphere of a planet and lands. We can get out and fight but it’s also programmed to attack our enemies.”

 

Hux turned to look at the folded up machine. “Yeah,” he said, “I’m not getting in that.”

 

Ren flicked his hip, pinching when Hux swatted him. “It’ll get us down to the surface quickly and efficiently. And it’ll be fun.”

 

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Hux drawled, catching Ren’s hand. “Have you run this insanity by Rey and Finn?”

 

He nodded. “Rey’s in, though she’s pretty apprehensive. Finn’s all for it though.”

 

“Of course he is,” Hux muttered.

 

Ren reeled him in for a quick kiss. “How’s your arm?” he asked, not wanting to argue over the war droid.

 

Hux lifted his right hand and poked Ren in the nose. “My fine motor skills are better but still need some improvement. I can’t use my sniper rifle, I don’t have the fine control to keep it steady but I can use a scattergun well enough, and I have my stealth drive.”

 

Leaning his forehead against Hux’s, Ren took a steadying breath. “Sorry to interrupt,” Rey said loudly over the intercom. “But enemy ships have been sighted. The mandalorian’s are moving to intercept. It’s time.”

 

Hitting the button on the wall, Ren said, “Let me know when we’re over Korriban, Rey.”

 

“On it,” Rey said, and the Untouchable shuddered underneath them as they picked up speed.

 

Ren stole one last kiss. “I’m going to slip into battle meditation for the first part of this,” he said. “Once Rey says we’re over Korriban, then come get me.”

 

“I will.” Hux touched his comm unit. “Kiel move into flank, Red, Blue, and Gold leaders pincer them. Jump into FTL if you must to get around them. Poe, keep them off us and General Organa’s ship. We’re going to need to get right over Korriban.”

 

There was a flurry of responses and Hux gave Ren one last long look before striding into the command center. Ren shoved that out of his head and sat, leaning back against the war droid. He sank into the Force without effort, following the path laid out before him by the ghosts of his past.

 

Battle meditation was hard to maintain, and most jedi masters didn’t learn it, but Ren had poured over every datacron on the subject that he could find. Stretching himself along the Force, he reached out for his allies, family and friends. He found Kiel, a bright spark of glowing gold in the darkness of space, touching his life with just a hint of the Force.

 

He leapt from Kiel to Sylar, brushing the Force over his red glow and reaching out to touch the rest of his renegades.

 

Ren went for the x-wingers next, sliding the Force over each and every one of them, anything to give them the edge they’d need to win. He paid special attention to Poe, both for Finn and for himself. Spread out along the Force, he reached out for each and every one of the New Republic and gave them everything he had.

 

He opened his eyes to see the room limned in light, and the Force swelled up, stronger than ever. **You will never defeat me,** Snoke snarled, and deep inside his meditation, Ren laughed.

 

Shoving the voice away, Ren settled in the balance of light and dark, giving himself to the Force. He’d never be a jedi, he had too much blood on his hands, he’d seen too many ghosts. But there, in the middle of what made the Force, he was whole.

 

 _You can threaten me all you like,_ Ren said, shoving the presence away with a Push strong enough to rattle bones and metal. _But you have no power here._

 

Uncle Luke had been right. He was no jedi; but he was one with Force.

 

Under the guidance of the Force, the Fleet surged to life, and one by one the lights belonging to stormtroopers went out. The Force mourned their loss, and so did Ren, even as he boosted Sasha’s reflexes to help her avoid the plasma shot that might have killed her.

 

Hux’s light was brightest of all, and Ren wrapped him in as much protection as he could, his heart aching. He couldn’t hear, everything was silent except for the pounding of heartbeats all sounding in sync. The entire Fleet, the New Republic, Sylar’s Renegades, and Kiel’s Mando’ade all breathed as one, their hearts the same staccato.

 

Together, or not at all.

 

The dark mass of Korriban drew ever closer and Ren pushed against the dark side, carving his way through with light and pressure. Korriban was a lost cause, long ago fallen to the dark side, but Ren had no cause to fear it, not any more.

 

Wrapping the Untouchable with as much of his Force as possible, Ren punched through the darkness.

 

Korriban was screaming.

 

The Force here had been polluted, and the natural balance knew it. The world was dying slowly, from the inside, from the very air. The scream echoed through everything, through the Fleet, through Ren.

 

He opened his eyes to find Hux staring at him, concern written all over his face. “We’re here. We need to go.”  


Ren stood, leaving the meditation behind. “You ready for this?”

 

Making a face of distaste, Hux shook his head. “Where you go, so goes my nation,” he sighed. “Start it up.”

 

Rey appeared a second later, her hair in disarray. “HK is angry with you for leaving him behind again,” she said, as Ren pulled up the control panel for the war droid.

 

“HK is the only one who can fly this ship, so he has to deal,” Ren said, starting up the basilisk. “Finn!” he shouted, voice a little hoarse. “We need to go!”

 

Finn slid in the room, strapping on a plasma rifle. “I’m ready. Blue is taking over for communication now that the Commander is leaving.”

 

“Good,” Ren said. “Alright. In.” The door opened slowly and he stepped into the small compartment. “HK,” he said, touching his ear comm. “As soon as I give the all clear, open the hatch.”

 

“This is a foolish plan, Master,” HK snarled.

 

Ren smiled. “I know.”

 

The droid shut behind him, leaving them all in dull red light. “Ready?” Finn asked, holding tightly to one of the handles.

 

“Do it now, HK!”

 

There was a long pause as the droid came to life, standing and shaking off the tarp. The howl of sound as the Cargo Bay open suddenly overwhelmed him, and Ren gripped Hux’s hand tightly. “Good luck, Master,” HK said quietly, and then they were falling.

 

*

 

Ren’s stomach dropped, then flew up into his throat as they lost gravity. Rey shrieked, and Finn whooped, and Hux turned a delicate shade of green.

 

There were sounds of battle all around them and Ren’s comm unit went wild, as Kiel and a host of Mando’ade shouted to him. “Oya Manda!” was the resounding cry as the droid slammed through the atmosphere.

 

Gravity kicked back in and Ren reached out with the Force to hold everyone in place. “Get ready,” he shouted, voice lost to the scream of metal and wind.

 

The droid landed hard, slamming into the ground and immediately beginning to fire on the stormtroopers. Ren hit the button to open the door and almost as an afterthought the droid spit them out into hard red stone.

 

There was a crater where they’d landed, and Ren leapt out, lightsaber at the ready.

 

The others were slower to follow but the battle didn’t wait for them to regain their bearings. Stormtroopers without helmets swarmed them, their eyes a dark inky black. There would be no convincing these poor souls from the First Order.

 

They were already dead. They just didn’t know it yet.

 

Ren stomped, sending a wave of Force out and knocking everything around him back ten feet. “Everyone stay close, don’t get separated,” Hux shouted, taking out a closeby ‘trooper with a well aimed shot from his scattergun. “Going dark,” he added with a sardonic twist and vanished between one step and the next.

 

Ren spun, back to back with Finn as Rey put on a burst of speed and carved her way through troopers. “Rey, get out of the way!” Ren shouted, and she blurred again, returning to his side. “With me,” he added to Finn, and the three of them reached out and pulled lightning from the sky.

 

The Force lightning rained down on the troopers, jumping from one body to the next, as Ren directed the flow. It was easier here than it had ever been, and when the pressure grew too intense, they staggered to a stop, watching the basilisk droid stomp on anything that survived the onslaught of their electricity.

 

“This way,” Hux said, still invisible to the naked eye. “The troopers came from that cave, on your eleven, Ren.”

 

Blinking away bright lights and ozone, Ren followed his instructions. There was a cave, and it’s doors were flung wide open, as though they’d been ripped off and left to fall wherever gravity took them. “Go,” he said.

 

Rey and Finn pulled ahead of him and Ren whistled sharply at the war droid who began moving it’s large body after them, shooting at anything that moved.

 

As soon as they reached the cave, the dark side slammed into them. Rey choked, stumbling to her knees, only to be caught up by someone invisible. Hux flickered into view as he held her and Finn leaned heavily on his other side. “The Force is strong here,” Ren said for Hux’s benefit when he turned to give Ren a concerned glance.

 

He reached into himself and pulled a Force Shield around them, enclosing them away from the oppressive dark side. “Thank you,” Rey wheezed, clinging to Hux’s right arm.

 

Together, all four of them walked down the narrow hall, side stepping puddles of dark inky oil, and the occasional body. “These are all stormtroopers who survived Starkiller,” Hux said quietly, kneeling by a corpse that had fallen face up. “I recognize her face. She called herself Tiny.” He reached out and closed her eyes.

 

“There are more bodies ahead,” Finn said, face stony.

 

Ren winced, glad they were in front of him. Finn’s sorrow was like a living thing inside their bubble of protection. “We can give them a proper burial once this is over,” Hux said, reaching out and clasping Finn’s shoulder. “They were good soldiers, good men.”

 

Finn put his hand over Hux’s and they paused for a moment over the body of a stormtrooper who called herself Tiny. “Come on,” Rey said quietly. “It’s best not to linger.”

 

The quiet peace was not meant to last.

 

The Force roared down the hallway, hitting Ren’s shield like fire, eating away at his strength. He stumbled, catching himself on Finn. “Move!” he said through a closing throat. “Go, now!”

 

They ran.

 

The tunnel opened up into a large room, empty but for a broken tomb on a dias in the very middle. Whoever had once been in it had long since been removed, but that wasn’t the most alarming part of the room.

 

Snoke stood on the ledge of the empty tomb, his body just very slightly transparent. His eyes, too wide and big for his head glowed a vicious electric blue in the darkness around them. “I’m so pleased you could join me,” he said, with a dangerous smile. “My Kylo Ren, returned to me at last.”

 

“I’m not your anything,” Ren snarled.

 

If anything, that seemed to amuse Snoke. “Anger is a path to the dark side, Padawan,” he drawled, stepping off the ledge and walking towards them. “It’s not wise to tempt the dark when you’re standing in its heart.”

 

Ren smiled. “I have no fear of the dark side,” he said evenly.

 

Snoke walked through his Force Shield like it wasn’t even there, so Ren dropped it, falling into a defensive position. “Kylo, dear thing,” Snoke said. “It’s not you who will have to fear the dark.”

 

His ghost screamed, echoing through the Force around them, the room vibrating with its pressure and anger. Rey clapped her hands over her ears and Finn stumbled a step back. The sound broke over Ren and he threw everything he had into the Force Push.

 

The sound cut off mid scream, and they were alone in the room. Finn reached down and lifted Rey to her feet, and she wiped blood off of the side of her face where her left ear had started bleeding. “Everyone alright?” Finn asked anxiously.

 

Rey nodded, but her face was pinched with pain. “Yes,” Ren said, wincing when it came out sounding slightly muffled.

 

Hux raised himself up from the kneeling position he’d fallen into, shaking his head as though to clear it. He didn’t speak, and a spike of alarm went through Ren so hard that his breath caught. “Cian?” Rey asked, reaching out to touch him.

 

He shrugged her off.

 

“If I can’t have you,” Hux said, turning to face Ren. “Then I suppose I’ll have to settle for the thing closest to your heart.” His bottle green eyes were horrified, as the words poured out of his mouth. Then, Hux stumbled back a step, and as Ren watched with growing terror, those bottle green eyes filled with darkness and turned a solid, inky black.

 

Luke had always warned him about trying to elude his visions.

 

Hux- no, Snoke brushed off his armor, reaching for the scattergun at his side. “This won’t be nearly as satisfying without the Force,” he said doubtfully. “But General Hux owes me a debt for the loss of Starkiller. This will have to do.”

 

Ren lunged, pulling a Shield up around his arm. He skidded to a stop in front of Rey and Finn, taking the full force of the shot to the Shield, blocking them from being hit. “Move!” he shouted and after a second of shock, they scattered.

 

The scattergun had poor range, so Rey grabbed Finn’s hand they sped off across the tomb, safely out of firing range. Ren made a fist and ripped some of the masonry out of the tomb, flinging it at Snoke and forcing him to back up. “You wouldn’t hurt this precious vessel, would you, Kylo?” Snoke asked idly, firing off another shot with the scattergun.

 

Ren soaked the hit with his shield, mind racing. “I’d kill him a hundred times to save him from you, snake!” Ren snarled. He threw another chunk of stone, clipping Snoke’s left shoulder with it. Rey’s voice burst to life inside his head, panic making her too loud. _Ren! We have to do something!_

 

 _I’ll keep him concentrated on me_ , Ren said. _Snoke has to be bound to something in this room,_ find it!

 

He lashed out with another block of tomb, and scored a direct hit to Snoke’s midsection. “Is that anyway to treat your former master?” Snoke wheezed and Ren snarled.

 

The dark side pressed in on him but Ren shrugged it off, pulling more stone from the walls, keeping Snoke from turning his attention to Rey and Finn.

 

“I reject you as my master,” He said, panting hard. “I reject your teachings, and I reject your dark side.”

 

Snoke smiled, grotesque and _wrong_ , using Hux’s mouth. “You won’t have any choice, Kylo.” Stepping back into the tomb, Snoke reached down and picked up a lightsaber. It ignited a sick and twisted red, snapping and curling around itself.

 

Ren dropped his Shield, brandishing his own lightsaber. He fell into a position, holding defensively. When Snoke attacked it was sloppy, unrefined, and he deflected it easily. With a roar of rage that sounded all wrong coming from Hux, Snoke attacked again, and again, but Ren shrugged him off, spinning and deflecting and using chunks of the floor and walls to keep him off balance.

 

Whenever Snoke turned towards Rey or Finn, Ren would attack, keeping the movements swift and aggressive, putting Snoke on the defensive.

 

Ren drove him back a few steps, keeping his back to the others. “You’ve already lost, Snoke,” Ren snarled, “your men are dead, the First Order is broken and dying. You’re nothing but a lost relic on a lost planet. Give it up, there’s nothing left to rule!”

 

 _Ren,_ Rey said quietly, horrified. _There’s nothing._

 

Blocking another wild strike, Ren swore viciously. _The lightsaber,_ he said. _Wait for my signal._ Summoning up another strike from the stones, Ren spun under Snoke’s swing, slamming his shoulder into Hux’s narrow chest. His right arm went wide, and apologizing inwardly, Ren aimed his next shot at the back of Hux’s head.

 

The rock smashed into the back of Hux’s skull and the implant held there died with a squeal. Hux’s cybernetic arm fell limply to his side and the lightsaber rolled away.

 

Snoke paused, staring down at his now useless right arm, and Rey blurred around them for half a second.

 

Whirling Snoke turned to where Rey ended up on the opposite side of the tomb. She smirked, triumphantly. “Go back to hell where you belong,” she said, and yanked the red kyber crystal out of the saber. Snoke shrieked, and she ground it under her heel.

 

All twenty seven hells broke loose.

 

Hux crumbled to the floor, and the Force screamed its way around the room in a twisting gale of wind, before the world was silent but for their breathing.

 

Ren darted to Hux’s side, turning him over and feeling for a heartbeat. “Hux!” he shouted, shaking him. “No, no, no, come on. Hux! Cian!” His chest was still, his face pale, and eyes open to the ceiling. He drew no breath, and his heart was still under Ren’s hands. “No, no, no, please. No.”

 

He could feel the scream building up in his chest. And this time, Ren felt no need to silence it.

 

*

 

Ren was dry eyed as he stood in front of High Chancellor Kene, though his hands still shook. “Whatever Snoke took from him, robbed him of his life,” he said, making fists at his side. “We tried everything, but he was probably gone before Snoke was.”

 

“And you’re absolutely certain that Snoke won’t be returning?” Kene asked sharply.

 

Nodding once, Ren said, “Yes. The Force Ghosts of the sith, the exceptionally powerful ones were tied to an object. That kyber crystal was part of Snoke’s lightsaber. Without it, he can’t manifest, and without the First Order, no one will ever find the remains of it.”

 

Kene looked thoughtful. “And what do you plan to do now, Commander Solo?”

 

He looked away, breaking their eye contact. “I don’t know, Chancellor. I may travel some. I’ve had enough of war.”

 

“I understand.” She looked over her shoulder, and the hologram rippled once. “I am sorry for your loss, Commander,” she said gently. “Go take your break. You’ve earned it.”

 

Ren swallowed hard, ending the conversation. Rey came up behind him, looping her arm around his. “Where to, Commander?” she asked gently.

 

“Tatooine,” he answered, and Finn groaned obnoxiously. “What?” he asked, alarmed.

 

“Why is it always a planet with sand?” Finn asked. “Can’t we, for once, not go to planet sand hell? Can we go somewhere nice and tropical, with beaches and water, and not sand?”

 

Ren stared at him for a second. “You realize beaches are _made of sand_ , right?”

 

Finn looked so horribly betrayed, that Ren snorted a laugh. “They are?” Finn asked Rey. “Is he lying to me?” Rey shook her head, laughing. “Beaches are made of sand? Why do people even go there?”

 

“Because the sand is right next to cold water,” Ren answered. “HK, set a course for Tatooine.”

 

There was a pause. “If you sell me to that tiny obnoxious meatbag I will hunt you down and murder you,” he said. “Course is set.”

 

“I would never,” Ren promised.

 

He sat down in the kitchen, and Rey leaned against him. “You alright?” she asked.

 

“No,” he answered. “But I will be.”

 

She nodded, leaning her cheek against his shoulder. “At least Tatooine isn’t too far,” she said. The ship shuddered into hyper drive, catching the trade route.

 

Rey was right, along the route, it would only take a few hours to get to Tatooine, and Ren spent them all sitting by the caf machine in the kitchen, brooding down into a half empty mug, caf long gone cold.

 

When they landed, and Rey had left to deal with the docking officials, Ren pulled up his hair, just slightly too long again, securing it in a loose tail to keep it off the back of his neck. “I’m coming with you,” Rey said immediately as soon as they got down in the spaceport.

 

“I expected nothing else,” Rey said, and took her hand when she held hers out.

 

They walked from the Mos Ila spaceport, a long familiar path to Ren, heading to the cantina around the corner. It had been over a year since the last time he’d been in the cantina that had started it all. Regg waved enthusiastically and Ren offered him a wave of his own, as he scanned the room.

 

There, sitting in the back was a figure, dressed all in black, with a hood up over his head. Ren jerked his chin at the stranger, and Regg nodded enthusiastically. Ren let go off Rey’s hand and walked over to the man sitting in the corner booth in the darkest part of the cantina.

 

He dropped into the seat across from him. “Heard you were looking for a transport,” he said, full of amusement. “As it happens, I’m looking for some passengers.”

 

The man twitched, snorting. “Passengers?” he drawled in a cut glass Arkanis born accent. “If I recall correctly, you never did pick up anyone but me.”

 

“You’re trouble enough for four people,” Ren said. “You ready?”

 

Hux pushed his hood off, ruffling his sweat damp hair. “Exceedingly so. I’m right behind you.”

  
*tbc


	23. xxiii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _For once, he was content._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for Lex, Song, Sera, Sasha, and Dani. For FemaleSpock and MsModernity, and ObiwanJedi and everyone who reviewed and encouraged me. Thank you, thank you all so much. I love you.
> 
> This is the last tale in the saga of Smuggler!Ren. I am planning a new Kylux fic, soon, but it won't be part of this universe. I decided to let them rest. They've earned it.
> 
> As ever, I can be found on [tumblr](http://missdreawrites.tumblr.com/), for all your needs. I follow back and I love conversation.

Xxiii.

 

[Twelve Years Later]

 

“Remember,” he said, keeping his voice low and smooth and even. “Fear is only a path to the dark side when you fear your own strength, your own mastery of the Force. It is not inherently evil, to force you to do things you don’t want. The Force is everything, it is one with you, one with me. It lives and breathes through everything. To have Mastery over the Force, you must first have Mastery over yourself.”   
  


“The Jedi taught,” someone said hotly, “the Jedi taught that anger, hate and pain turn you evil!”

 

Ren opened one eye and looked down at the ten year old seated in front of him. “The old adage of fear turning to anger, anger turning to hate? It’s rubbish.”   
  


Several of the other kids in front of him gasped in shock. “But all the histories say that Master Yoda taught that!” one protested.

 

“This is not a class or a school for people who cannot master their own emotions,” Ren says placidly, pushing away a sliver of annoyance. “Anger doesn’t lead to the dark side. Anger is a part of you, a part of me. Feeling anger won’t turn you evil, losing control and doing something evil  _ because  _ you’re angry will. Being afraid is a natural reaction to something unknown or something powerful. Choosing what to do based on your fear leads to the dark side.” 

 

Another boy frowned up at him, falling out of meditation stance. “Then why were there so many jedi?”

 

Ren opened his mouth and then closed it again, thinking over his answer. “There were so many jedi because that what was being taught. I too went to a Jedi Academy to learn their ways, many years ago when I was your age. But things happened, horrible, terrible things, that required me to flee.”

 

“You were scared?” one of the girls said.

 

“I was,” Ren said. “I was fifteen, and alone, and my friends were gone. My teachers were gone. I ran away.”

 

The boy who spoke first gasped. “But you gave into your fear.”

 

Ren shook his head. “Was it giving in? Or was it being logical? Think of it this way, Sion: I was fifteen, and I hadn’t yet completed my training. I was accomplished, perhaps, but still learning. My teachers were missing or dead, every single one of my peers had died, even the ones I tried to protect. There were six people, all of whom were stronger in the Force than I was, older than I was, and I was alone. Would you have tried to fight, knowing the odds weren’t in your favor?”

 

Sion frowned. “But you ran away,” he said. “Cowards do that.”

 

“Do they? Maybe. But what I did was retreat. I left, because there was nothing I could do, and I learned when I was away and then I came back and I avenged them.” Ren leaned down and met Sion’s eyes. “What is the Code, Si? Our code?”

 

Sion and the rest of the class chimed in quietly, “There is passion, yet emotion, serenity yet peace. Chaos, yet Order. There is no dark, there is no light, there is only the Force.”

 

“Good,” Ren said. “There is no dark, there is no light. There is only the Force. That is the standard to which we uphold ourselves. Forever in the balance between two extremes. Yes, I fled this place when I was a boy when the odds weren’t in my favor. Yes, I was angry, grieving and terrified. But I came back, stronger than before, and I set right the wrongs that the Knights of Ren committed.”

 

Someone cleared their throat from the doorway of the classroom and Ren looked up to see Rey leaning against the jamb. “I have several little children late for my lessons,” she said, smiling. “And Rikka and Clio are waiting for you in the training yard, Master Ren.”

 

The class got up to follow Rey and Ren sighed, rubbing his temples. “Uncle Ren,” someone called through the window. “Come  _ on _ !”

 

He ambled to his feet, making his way to the training yard where Rikka and Clio stood with Finn. They all had long staves, and Ren snorted. “Finn, don’t you have another class to teach?” he asked.

 

Finn grinned at him, scratching the back of his head. “Poe took over for me. He’s a better pilot anyway. I thought I’d come join you, Master Ren.”

 

Thinking that for someone who had turned down a teaching position, Poe did an awful lot of teaching, Ren grabbed his own stave. He spun it absently in his hand, amused when Clio emulated him. “Well,” he said to Finn. “You’re always welcome to join us. Today we’re covering the stance of Shien, the Fifth Form.”

 

Both Rikka and Clio fell into the Third Form stance in answer. “Close,” Finn said, and gently corrected their posture. 

 

“Shien Form is also known as the Perseverance Form,” Ren said. “It was altered from the Third Form, Soresu, because the Jedi Masters of the Old Republic found that Soresu could unnecessarily draw out combat. This Form is meant to be a blend of defensive, and offensive. It’s also Finn’s favorite.”

 

Finn grinned at him. “It was the first one you taught me, Master Ren.”

 

“True,” Ren said, leaning on his stave. “It seemed suited to you.”

 

At seventeen, the Twi’lek twins were fast learners, soaking up knowledge faster than Ren could dole it out. “Master Finn,” Rikka said, “would you teach us?”

 

Ren withdrew, leaving Finn to teach the combat. He crossed the courtyard, stepping around a large puddle left by the rain, and entered a large building, ducking through the doorway. The meditation chamber was empty, and he settled in the middle of the room. 

 

_ You should probably stop telling the students that Master Yoda was wrong _ , Luke murmured, sounding amused. 

 

“He was wrong,” Ren insisted without heat. He opened his eyes to meet Luke’s. He would never really get over seeing his Uncle so young, not even after twelve years of his help. “Fear leads to anger, leads to hate,  _ ugh _ .”

 

Luke smiled, shaking his head.  _ Someday you’re going to teach something he finds utterly horrible and he’s going to come visit you. _

 

Ren narrowed his eyes at Luke. “He wouldn’t. I’ve been teaching here for twelve years and the only Force Ghosts I see are you and Grandfather.”

 

_ Do you really want to take that chance?  _ Luke asked mildly.

 

No, Ren decided. Definitely not. “Have you been to see Mom?” he asked, as he asked every time.

 

Luke scowled at him.  _ Yes, you meddler.  _

 

Grinning, Ren closed his eyes again. “Good.”

 

As it always was when Luke was there, he fell easily into meditation, his old teacher there to guide him.

 

*

 

“Hey,” Ganna said, nudging him with a foot. “Kiel’s on communication for you.” 

 

Ren shot out of meditation so fast his head hurt briefly with a headache. “What?” he asked, alarmed. “Kiel?” 

 

Ganna nodded, hauling him up and off the floor. “Yeah,” she said. “Rikka and Clio were talking to him all about how Master Finn taught them how to fight.” She lead him away from the meditation hall and towards the communication array. “Apparently the New Republic has offered some of them medals for their valor, Kiel’s pretty amused by this, considering it’s been twelve years since the Battle for Korriban.”

 

Ren snorted. “The New Republic is slow to give credit, I’ve found.”

 

Ganna smirked at him. “Or just slow in general.”

 

“That too.” Ren stepped into the communication center, shooing away some of the younger children.

 

Kiel stood in hologram form surrounded by all the young Padawans. “... -nd then,” he said loudly, “ _ bam! _ We dropped from orbit in our basilisk war droids, and fell thousands of feet down, spinning on the wind to land  _ smack _ ! In the middle of all our enemies!” The Padawans all oohed, edging closer. 

 

“What happened next?” one asked.

 

Grinning, Kiel crouched to be on their level. “Then we got out of the droids, because as fun as it is to ride them down from a ship in orbit, they’re very small on the inside, and we took back the planet for the New Republic.”

 

“Should you be telling children this story?” Ren asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

One of the Padawans, a seven year old called Amari tugged on his sleep. “When I grow up I want to be an Ordo,” she said solemnly.

 

“Of course you do, darling,” he said, ruffling her hair. 

 

Kiel grinned again, standing and offering Ren a sloppy salute. “Su cuy’gar,” he said brightly. “You took too long so I had to make my own entertainment.”

 

“Uh huh.” He looked down at all the Padawans, then turned to Ganna. “Mind helping this lot find their way to the dining room. It’s nearly time for dinner and I have some business I want to discuss with Kiel.”

 

Ganna nodded. She wasn’t a jedi, not really, she had small command of the Force, only managing to do what she described as parlor tricks, but she could steal the attention of the entire room. “Lets go, children,” she said, and one by one they followed her out, leaving Ren alone in the room.

 

“Ren,” Kiel said, smiling. “You’re getting old, my friend.”

 

Shaking his head, Ren touched his hair, pulled back into a tail to hide the streaks of grey already beginning to show. “I’m only forty-two, shut up,” he said without heat. 

 

Kiel laughed, mirroring Ren’s motion. “I’m not here to tease,” he promised. “Actually I’m only here because of the kids. Hang on.” 

 

His hologram disappeared with a blink and Ren bounced lightly on his toes. A second later, the hologram shimmered again, and Hux stepped into view. Limned in blue light, he looked unchanged, hair just slightly too long in the front, face stern until meeting Ren’s eyes. 

 

Hux’s right arm was bare to the shoulder, dotted with lights and metal. The damage to the cybernetics implant had made it impossible for him to use another of her work, leaving him once again armless. Kiel had come up with an answer: using somewhat outdated technology from the Old Republic and giving Hux a different sort of mechanical arm.

 

It had taken months to get used to it, his fingers not quite reacting to his wants, but after a year of constant use, he’d managed to master it. 

 

And, with Ren so close to the public eye, and the New Republic coming on and off his ship at their leisure, Hux had been safest with the Mandalorians. “Su cuy’gar,” he drawled, crossing his arms over his chest. “You look surprised to see me.”

 

“No,” Ren said immediately. “I don’t care how often we talk, I miss you.”

 

Hux’s expression softened. “I miss you too, Ren. It’s not the same without you. I’ll be home soon though, once Manda’lor and Kiel have finished their business in Wild Space.”

 

Ren nodded, pulling up a chair and sitting. “How are you?” he asked. “It’s been a few days.”

 

“Bored,” Hux said, shrugging. “It’s been a lot of flying, and not a lot of action. I miss my students.”

 

“They miss you,” Ren said. “Amari blew up a droid prototype yesterday afternoon. No casualties except for her hard work. And her pride, I think.” He smiled, thinking about it. “Actually, she said that you told her once that failure simply meant there was a lesson to learn and success meant that you had mastered the lessons failure had taught you. She’s starting on a new chassis already, but she won’t tell me what she’s trying to build.”

 

Hux chuckled, gesturing to his shoulder. “She’s trying to build a friend for SR-3,” he answered. “It’s her final project. Ambitious for someone so young but she’s a natural at engineering, if I could stop getting her to use the Force on her datachips.” 

Ren laughed. “I’ll talk to her about it tomorrow.” He rubbed his forehead, smile fading. “I hate this,” he said.

 

Sighing, the good humor vanished from Hux’s face. “We knew what lying would mean,” he said. “We knew that things would never be the same after you told the Republic I died.”

 

“I know, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.” 

 

Hux smiled, shaking his head. “This was our best option. And I’ll be back soon.” 

 

Ren nodded. “I love you.”

 

Hux pulled a face. “Yes, yes, I love you too.” He paused, tinkering with one of the metal ports on his right wrist. “I have do have some news,” he said slowly. 

 

“Tell me,” Ren requested.

 

“We ended up in Coruscant the other week,” Hux said. “Kiel was asked to come in and look at something, the Republic suspected First Order activity and they wanted the Mando’ade to go take care of it.” 

 

Ren bit his lip. “Coruscant is where they’re keeping your father.”

 

“Were,” Hux said. “He’s dead.”

 

Blinking, Ren said, “what? He died? Of what?”

 

Curling his lips up in a smirk, Hux dropped his hand to his side where a vibroblade was. “My knife between his ribs was a good indication of his death, yes,” he said. Ren’s eyebrows jumped up. “I broke in and killed him,” Hux said. 

 

“Does Kiel know?” Ren wondered.

 

“He does,” Hux answered. “He congratulated me on getting rid of the last thing that ever held me back. He said it was a very Mandalorian thing to do, facing my past.” He shrugged his left shoulder. “He’d have probably prefered it if I hadn’t been cloaked when I did it but I don’t care overmuch. Brendol Hux Sr is dead. I’m free.”

 

Not free enough. 

 

Ren reached out, and Hux mirrored the motion. They couldn’t touch, but the blue light from Hux’s hologram spilled out over Ren’s skin. “Come home soon,” he requested. 

 

“I will. As soon as we’re done out here, you won’t be rid of me,” Hux promised. He looked over his shoulder and the hologram rippled. “Alright, it’s time to go,” he said. “I’ll send you a message when I’m on my way home.” He paused, just before disconnecting. “Stop worrying so much, I’ll see you soon.”

 

He disappeared, leaving Ren alone in the room. 

 

“How’s my brother?” Rey asked, sliding up behind Ren and wrapping her arms around his waist. 

 

“Busy, apparently,” Ren said. “He’ll be heading home soon, he says.” He wrapped his free arm around her shoulders. “How was your class?”

 

Rey leaned her head on his shoulder. “Good. We’ve been talking mostly about the history of the Jedi. One of them, Sion, is very focused on Master Yoda.”

 

“Ugh,” Ren grunted. “Tell me about it. We ended up in a discussion about dark versus light this morning, because of a quote he’d read in one of the books in the library.”

 

Snorting, Rey pulled away a little to look him in the face. “Anger leading to hate and suffering?” she asked wisely.

 

“Oh kriff, did he get you with that one too?” Ren asked and Rey nodded, biting her lip to hide her smile. “I think we’re going to have to be really careful with him,” he added, turning the idea over in his mind. “We may have found a Balance between the light and the dark but these things happen in waves. If there’s a strong light side… then so must there a strength in the dark. I would hate to see any of ours fall to that.”

 

Rey nodded. “You can teach them to master their anger and their fear, Master,” she said. 

 

Ren shook his head. “I can teach them to accept their anger and their fear,” he corrected. “Only they can truly learn to master what they already know in themselves.”

 

She urged him out of the seat. “Come on, Master Ren,” she said gently. “You’ve missed most of dinner. Cian wouldn’t want you to pine.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Ren let himself be managed. Together they walked into the dining hall, and Ren swept his eyes over the students he’d found over the last twelve years. Most were little more than children, six or seven, but there were some who were turning eleven. Rikka and Clio, Ganna’s twin daughters were the oldest, and the most accomplished in the Force. 

 

The Academy was coming along nicely. This was a good life. It maybe wasn’t the one he’d expected, nor was it the one he’d been destined for, but it was one he was happy with. 

 

Spinning his wedding ring on his finger, Ren joined the children at the table. 

 

For once, he was content.

 

*

 

The bed shifted behind him, and Ren grumbled. “Go’way SR,” he muttered. “Go bother HK. Or Rey.”

 

There was a light chuckle and cool metal with warm flesh slid across his hip. “I’m not SR,” Hux said quietly. There was a gentle press of a kiss against Ren’s shoulder. “Go back to sleep.”

 

He dropped off again, and when he woke up he was alone in the room. Disappointed but not surprised, Ren sighed, dropping back against the pillows. “Of course,” he muttered.

 

He laid there for a second, until the door in front of the bed opened without warning. “You’re still in bed?” Hux asked, nudging the door open with his hip. “Come on, get up, you’ll miss breakfast. I even brought you caf.”

 

Hux held out the mug in his Cyborg arm, raising one eyebrow in question. “You’re here,” Ren said stupidly, still half asleep. “You’re home.”

 

“Yes,” Hux said, smiling, eyes a clear, beautiful bottle green. “I’m home.”

  
*the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they all lived happily ever after. 
> 
> The End.


End file.
